THE BEAUTY OF VIRGINITY 5 Chapter 5: What If It Is Too Late For Me

Yes, it is not too late for you yet! You lost it already, either consciously or unconsciously. Your V card has been taken away from you. Your first natural reaction is to think that it is all over now. There is no use safeguarding what is already gone. You could continue your life the way you want to. This is wrong. It is never too late to do what is right.

No matter how far you have travelled on a wrong road, there will always be an opportunity for you to make a U-turn and join the right track back. Do not condemn yourself that it is too late for you. You may have made mistakes in times past which have led you to lose your virginity, but that is not yet the end of the road for you.

Although the Golden Pot is already broken and cannot be re-fixed again, G.o.d can still gather up the fragments of your broken life if you allow Him and He will fix it in such a way that it looks as though it has never been tampered with. The Porter can still put you together again.

In addition to the things discussed in the last chapter that virgins need to do to retain their virginity, you will need to consciously take the following steps:

DECIDE NEVER TO SUCc.u.mB TO PRESSURE FOR MORE

Make a conscious decision to stay chaste all of your life. It starts from here: self-determination. Determine not to give in to any pressure from whatever quarters. It is your life, and you decide who you allow into it and who you do not.

The reason why you fell in the first place was because you had no personal decision to remain chaste all of your youthful life. It is now time you made this concrete decision. Promise yourself to not succ.u.mb to pressure again.

That you have lost your virginity is not enough excuse to keep your legs wide open for anyone who cares to have his way. Build a strong moral character. You can repackage yourself and rebrand your life. Make a strong commitment to a chaste life.

There will be both external and internal pressures. The external pressure will come from people around you who have had carnal knowledge of you before. The internal pressure will come from your body. Since you already have an experience of what it is like, once in a while your body will feel like having the experience again. You need to be firm in your decision not to go back to that filthy lifestyle.

With this decision, a whole lot of things will change in your life, so be ready for it. You cannot live your life the way you have always lived it and still expect that things will naturally change for the better. You have to intentionally take the bull by the horn, and decide that you will do what you have to do in order to get what you need to get. It all starts with this decision. Once the decision is made, and you are sincere about it, then the die is cast!

LET ALL YOUR s.e.x PARTNERS KNOW YOUR NEW DECISION

It is one thing to take this great decision in the corner of your room, but it gives the decision more credibility and integrity to let all the stakeholders know about it. This may be a difficult task; it is not going to look as easy as it sounds, but it has to be done.

Personally call, one by one, as many people as you know whom you are vulnerable to, people you have previously been exposed to and you know you are helpless in their grip, and tell them of you new decision. An easy way to do this is to send text messages to them or communicate it through the social media, but this can have a negative feedback as they may show it to their friends and you may become a laughing stock among them. It is better for you to make voice calls.

Tell them about your new decision. Let them realize you have made mistakes in the past, but now, you want to start your life afresh. Tell them you appreciate their friendship in times past, and that you will still appreciate such friendship in this new phase of your life only on one condition, that they will remain a friend and not a s.e.x partner.

Do not bother to answer any question from them. Just drop the call whenever you are through with what you have in mind to say. Entertaining questions may give them the opportunity to try to convince you to change your mind or allow them time to apologize for whatever wrong they have done to make you take such a decision, and their words and pleas may get at you. Really, it is not about what they have done, it is about what your eyes have been opened to.

Some of them may be smart enough to play a quick one on you by asking for at least one more chance of s.e.xual escapade to mark a memorable final sendoff for you. That one more chance can be deadly. So, just deliver your message and call it quits.

If the person agrees to identify with your new status, he may still remain your friend. If you find out that temptations to go back to what you used to be are coming from that end, then shut the door for life. You are not in enmity; you are safeguarding your future.

AVOID TROUBLE SPOT

There may be some places where you used to go that you can no longer go. This is one of the difficult sacrifices you will need to make. These places are trouble spots; going there means you are looking for trouble.

You know where these trouble spots are. These are places where you used to go in the past to catch s.e.xual fun. It could be a friend's room, a hotel, a club or a sugar daddy's office. Anywhere you know that if you go, you would make yourself vulnerable to such attacks because of the experiences you had previously there, can be called a trouble spot for you.

If you must stand by your decision to start a new life of purity, you must avoid such places. Temptations from such places are not always easy to overcome. This is because you are already used to the place. Your brain can easily recognize the place and instantly identify it as a place of s.e.xual pleasure because of your past experience, and psychologically, your system is highly expectant of a repeat of the s.e.xual experiences it had there before.

This, in a way, lowers your guard, such that even if a slight **** attempt is made at you, the inner strength to fight it is weakened, and you find yourself succ.u.mbing, easily. If you succ.u.mb once, you will succ.u.mb again, and again, and again, until you are fully back there.

Do not put yourself in a situation where you will be tempted to make hasty decisions that you will later regret in life. So, identify where these trouble spots are, and avoid them like a plague.

AVOID SOURCES OF s.e.xUAL EXCITEMENT

Sources of s.e.xual excitement are things that easily get you excited s.e.xually once you engage in them. It will make a lot of sense to stay far away from them. Once you can keep them as far away from you as possible, you can maintain your purity for a longer period.

Some of these sources of s.e.xual excitement are p.o.r.nographic materials. These may come in form of videos, still images or internet chat rooms. Technology today has made p.o.r.n so common among young adults that one can have six hours of p.o.r.nographic videos on a cell phone. The social media and the internet are full of so many nude pictures.

This has become one major reason for the s.e.xual turbulence in the lives of many of the young adults in this generation - the images they constantly feed their minds with. If you can succeed in controlling the inflow of these images into your mind, you can, to a large extent, control your s.e.xual urge and maintain your purity.

WITHDRAW FROM DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

One other thing to stay away from if you really desire to avoid temptation is drugs. Drugs and alcohols can impair your judgment. Whatever your degree of determination to live chastely, if you do not stop the abuse of drugs and alcohol, you are opening yourself up to potential danger. Taking them can make you vulnerable to potential body explorers.

Most young adults who are addicted to drugs today started innocently. They are no longer in control of their lives. You also may think you have good reasons for doing drugs; you want to feel high, you want to belong, you want to forget your sorrow, or you want to put yourself in the right mood. Whatever your excuse is, a drug or alcohol which is not prescribed by a qualified medical pract.i.tioner is dangerous to your health.

Once taken, your hormones can go crazy without warning you in advance, and you become cheap meat in the hands of s.e.xual adventurers. You will do yourself a whole lot of good if you stop taking drugs.

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OCCUPY YOUR TIME

Occupy most of your spare time with things you find enjoyable to do. An idle mind is the devil's playground, says an adage. If you do not fill your time with more important things, the devil will fill it with the same things you are trying to run away from.

Do not just isolate yourself because you want to live a pure life. Mix up with reasonable friends, especially those who place much emphasis on your schoolwork. If your mind is constantly on the issue of how to avoid having s.e.x, you can place yourself under serious unnecessary pressure which may affect you in worst ways. You may become psychologically imbalanced and bound to overreact to certain things.

However, if your mind is occupied with other things of interest, there will be contentment and satisfaction, and you may not have to worry about s.e.x every time. Your energy will be re-channeled towards other profitable ventures.

ASK G.o.d TO HELP YOU

Your past may be marred by all manners and forms of s.e.xual impurity, but your future can still be salvaged by what you do today. Ask G.o.d to help you, He is willing to if you just ask. If you allow Him, the Potter can put you together again.