Verotchka's Tales Part 4

"Friends, be happy!" called Vanka, smoothing his flaxen curls.

Anya and Katya laughed in their shrill voices, clumsy Bear danced with little Broom, Gray Billy Goat strutted about with Waddling Duck, Clown tumbled about, showing off his tricks, and Dr. Carl Ivanovitch, chatting with Matryona Ivanovna, asked:

"Does your stomach ache, Matryona Ivanovna?"

"Why, no, Carl Ivanovitch," replied Matryona Ivanovna, offended. "What makes you think that?"

"Just show me your tongue," insisted the Doctor.

"Leave me alone, please."

"I'm here," rang the thin voice of Silver Spoon, with which Verotchka ate her cereal. She had been lying quietly on the table until the Doctor spoke of showing a tongue. Then she jumped up, for she knew that the Doctor always needed her help when he looked at Verotchka's tongue.

"Oh, no! Not that!" piped Matryona Ivanovna, waving her arms comically, as if she were a windmill.

"Very well. I will not burden you with my services," said little Spoon, very much offended. She was growing angry, when little Top came spinning up to her and invited her to dance. Top hummed. Little Spoon rang.

Little Slipper could resist no longer. She crept out from under the couch and whispered to little Broom:

"I love you very much, little Broom."

Little Broom closed her eyes softly and sighed: she loved to be loved.

She was such a modest little Broom, never boasting as others do,--for instance, Matryona Ivanovna, Anya, and Katya. These dollies always liked to make fun of other people's failings, saying:

"Clown has but one leg. Petrooshka's nose is too long. Carl Ivanovitch is bald. Gypsy is like a firebrand."

But Vanka, the birthday child, was criticized most of all.

"He is too much of a moujik," Katya said.

"And he boasts too much," added Anya.

After dancing and making merry, they all sat down at the table and the real feast began. The dinner pa.s.sed as a real birthday dinner should; not without a few mishaps, however. Bear almost ate Rabbit, mistaking him for the cutlet. Top nearly came to blows with Gypsy about little Spoon. You see, Gypsy wanted to steal little Spoon and he tried to put her into his pocket. Petrooshka, a well-known squabbler, quarrelled with his wife over nothing at all.

"Matryona Ivanovna, be calm," urged Carl Ivanovitch.

"Petrooshka is really kind. Perhaps your head aches. I have wonderful powders for headaches."

"Doctor, do leave her alone," said Petrooshka. "She is an impossible woman. I love her very much. Come Matryona Ivanovna, let us kiss and be friends."

"Hurrah!" shouted Vanka. "That's much better than quarreling. I hate to see people quarrel. Just look ..."

Then something quite unexpected happened, something so horrible, it's dreadful to relate.

Drum beat--rub-a-dub-dub! Trumpets blew--toot-a-toot-too. Clown clanged his cymbals. Little Spoon laughed in her silver voice. Top hummed.

Rabbit shouted merrily, "Bo! Bo! Bo!" Porcelain Dog barked loudly.

Rubber Cat meowed gently. Bear stamped his feet with such force that the floor shook. Gayest of all was Gray Billy Goat. He was the best dancer. And he shook his beard so comically and bleated "Baa! Baa!

Baa!" in his cracked voice.

III

How did it all happen? That is hard to tell because of all the guests only Verotchka's Slipper remembered just what had transpired. She was the only sensible one. She crept away under the couch just in time.

This is how it all happened. First the Wooden Blocks went up to Vanka to congratulate him. No-No-NO. That isn't how it started. The Blocks really did go up to Vanka, but the real cause of the trouble was Katya. Yes, it was all her fault. This pretty little rascal, towards the very end of the dinner, whispered to Anya:

"Anya, who do you think is the prettiest of all here?"

It was quite a simple question to ask, but Matryona Ivanovna, overhearing it, grew frightfully offended and asked Katya:

"Do you think my Petrooshka is ugly?"

"n.o.body thinks that," answered Katya, trying to defend herself. But it was too late.

"Of course, his nose is too big," continued Matryona Ivanovna, "but that is hardly noticeable, if you look at him sideways. I know he has a bad habit of squealing and squabbling with people but he is really very kind. And as for brains ..."

She was unable to finish because the Dolls began to argue with so much heat that they attracted everybody's attention. The first to interfere was, of course, Petrooshka himself.

"It's true, Matryona Ivanovna," said he, "I am the handsomest here."

Then the men were all offended.

"Just listen to this conceited Petrooshka!" said they. "It's disgusting!"

Clown was not much of a talker, so he was silently offended. But Dr.

Carl Ivanovitch almost shouted:

"Does that mean that the rest of us are monsters? Gentlemen, I congratulate you!"

There was great noise and confusion. Gypsy shouted something in his own language. Bear growled. Wolf howled. Gray Billy Goat bawled. Top hummed. They all shouted their offense.

"Gentlemen, stop!" pleaded Vanka. "Please pay no attention to Petrooshka. I am sure he was only jesting."

It was all in vain. Carl Ivanovitch was noisier and more excited than the rest. He even pounded his fist on the table and shouted:

"Gentlemen, this is a fine treat, I must say! We were invited here only to be told that we are monsters!"

"Ladies and gentlemen!" shouted Vanka, trying in vain to be heard. "If monsters are under discussion, there is but one monster here. It is I!

Now are you satisfied?"

Then, let us see what happened next....

Carl Ivanovitch completely lost control and flew at Petrooshka, with a threatening fist.

"If I were not an educated man, knowing how to behave properly in decent society, I would say to you, 'Master Petrooshka, you are quite a fool.'"

Knowing Petrooshka's squabbling disposition, Vanka tried to get between him and the Doctor, but on his way, his fist caught Petrooshka's long nose. Petrooshka thought that it was not Vanka, but the doctor who had struck him. And that's how it all began.