Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent Part 69

"Go to h--l, you young imp of perdition, do your duty, I say."

Lanty here mixed him some brandy and water, and then held it to his lips.

"Here," said he, "here is the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory! hip, (hiccup) oh--ay--hip, hip, hurrah! Now, Lanty, you clip, that's one part of my duty done."

"It is, sir," replied Lanty; "you always did your duty, Square."

"Ay, but there's more to come--lay me back now, Lanty; lay me back till I whistle the Boyne Water."

Lanty accordingly laid him back a little, and he immediately commenced an attempt to whistle that celebrated air by way of consolation on his death-bed.

"He's not always settled, gentlemen," said Lanty, "and I see that one of his wandering fits is comin' on him now."

"What is the reason," said Captain Bredin--for such was the rank of the person he called d.i.c.k--"why is it that there is not a physician in attendance?"

"He would not let one of the thieves near him," replied Lanty, "for fraid they'd kill him."

"That is true," observed Val; "he always entertained a strong antipathy against them, and would consult none."

"Did Solomon M'Slime come?" he inquired.

"Here's a foot on the stairs," said Lanty, "maybe it's he--" and Lanty was right, for he had scarcely spoken when the worthy attorney entered.

"Solomon, you sleek, hypocritical rascal," said he, "I do not forget you; read that paper; you will find at the bottom of it these words, on one side, 'sworn before me, this'--no matter about the day--signed 'Randal Deaker;' and on the other, 'Susanna Bamet.' Solomon, I could not die happily without this. .h.i.t at you. Your hypocrisy is known,--ha, ha, ha! Come, d--n me; I never lived a hypocrite, and I won't die one.

Lanty, you imp, the brandy."

"I'll only give him a little," said the lad, looking and nodding at them.

"Come, then, 'the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory!'--hip--ah, lay me down--hi-p-p-p!"

He now closed his eyes for some time, and it was observed that strange and fearful changes came over his face. Sometimes he laughed, and sometimes he groaned, and, indeed, no words could express the indescribable horror which fell upon those present, or, at least, upon most of them, as the stillness of the room was from time to time broken by the word--"d.a.m.nation" p.r.o.nounced in the low and hollow voice of approaching death.

Solomon, who had glanced at the affiliating affidavit made by Susanna, was the first to break the silence.

"In truth, my friends," said he, "I fear it is not good to be here; and were it not that I am anxious to witness what is rarely seen, a reprobate and blasphemous death-bed, I would depart even now."

After some time Deaker called out--"Help me up, Lanty; here, help me up, you whelp."

Lanty immediately did so, and aided him to sit nearly upright in the bed.

"The tumbler, Lanty--Lanty, my lad, 'let us eat, drink, and be mer--ry, for to-mor--row we die;' here's the glor--, pio--, and immor--I, memo--, hi-p, hi-p-p! And now I swore th--at I wo--uld die whistling it, and by that oath I will." He then looked around, and seemed to recover himself a little. "Ay," he continued, "I'll do it, if I don't I'll be d----d! lay me down, you imp of h.e.l.l; there, that will do."

He then gathered his mouth and lips, as those do who whistle, and at the moment a long rattle of death was heard in his throat, then a shrill, feeble sound, like that of the wind through reeds, melancholy and wailing; issued from his white and gathered lips, and then was a silence.

For some minutes it was not broken, at length M'Clutchy went over, and on looking into his face, and feeling his pulse and heart he announced the fact of his death.

"Well," said Lanty, "he kept his word, at all events; he swore many a fearful oath, that he would die whistling the Boyne Wather, and he did: but, be my soul, he didn't die drinldn' it, as he thought. I must go and let them know in the house that he's gone.

"And bring my car to the door," said Solomon, "as quickly as you can.

Well," he proceeded, "the man is now gone, and, indeed, my friends, I fear that Satan is not at this moment without a companion, if he is on his way to his own dominions."

Deaker's features at that moment presented the most extraordinary appearance. As he lay, there appeared evident upon them the somewhat comic set, which was occasioned by his attempt to whistle the Boyne Water. He had but one tooth in front, which now projected a little; and as he always whistled with his mouth twisted somewhat to the one side it would be difficult to witness such a striking sight. But, when to this we add the recollection of his life and habits, and mention the fact that the very act of whistling the Boyne Water brought forward in his face all the gross characteristics of his licentious pa.s.sions, we may fairly admit that the face and features very faithfully represented the life and principles of the man who owned them.

Lanty, who had gone to acquaint the servants with his death, and to get round Solomon's car, now came in with a pale face:--

"Gentlemen," said he, "as sure as life's in me, the two black thievish ravens that sot on the black beech-tree these two days past, is off; h.e.l.l resave the feather o' them's there--it's truth!--The moment the breath was out of his body they made back to where they came from; they got what they wanted, you see and it stands to reason, or what 'ud keep them watchin' there these three days. As for myself, be me sowl the first thing I'll do will be to make a severe station to St. Patrick's Well to get the grain o' the sin off o' me that has been committed in this house."

Val, for years, knew his father's disposition too well to form any expectations whatsoever from him, and, indeed, it is but just to say that old Deaker took care not to allow him an opportunity of falling into a single misconception on the subject. As a natural consequence, Val hated him, and would have come long before to an open rupture with him, were it not that he feared to make him his enemy. He also thought it possible that Deaker, out of respect for his villany, might in some capricious moment have thought of rewarding it; and so probably he might have done, were it not for two traits in his character which his worthy father especially detested--viz., cowardice and hypocrisy.

Val, on his return home, found fewer carts than he had calculated upon even among his blood-hounds. Orangemen, in the social and civil duties of life, are sterling and excellent men in general. It is only when brought together for the discharge of political duties, by such miscreants as M'Clutchy, or when met in their Lodges under the united influence of liquor and mad prejudices; or when banded together in fairs and markets under the same stimulants, and probably provoked and dared by ma.s.ses of less open and more treacherous opponents; it is only then we say that their most licentious outrages were committed. Meet the Orangeman, however, in his field, or in his house and he will aid and a.s.sist you in your struggles or difficulties, as far as he can; no matter how widely you may differ from him in creed.

The fact was that on understanding the nature of the duty Val expected from them--and which the reader may perceive was not an official one, most of them absolutely refused to come. M'Loughlin, they said, had given extensive employment, and circulated large sums of money annually in the neighborhood, and they did not see why an Absentee landlord, or his Agent, should wish to throw so many hands out of employment, and to ruin so many families. They wern't on duty now, which was a different thing; but they had their own opinions on the subject--they knew Captain Phil's conduct--and d--n them, if M'Loughlin was a Papish twenty times over, if they'd lend a hand in any sense to carry away his furniture.

It was all well enough when they were drunk or on duty, but they weren't drunk or on duty now.

Three or four cars and carts were all that Val found at home on his arrival there--a circ.u.mstance which, added to his recent disappointment touching Deaker--from whom he had, in fact, to the last, cherished secret expectations--inflamed his resentment against M'Loughlin almost beyond all conception.

On leaving Const.i.tution Cottage for M'Loughlin's, he was not a little surprised to see worthy Phil walking, backward, and forward on the lawn, accompanied by no less a personage than our friend _Raymond-na-hattha_.

"Ah," said he to Phil, looking at him and Raymond, "there's a pair of you."

"Never mind, old fellow," said Phil with a grin, "you don't know what's ahead--a pretty bit of goods; begad, father, Raymond's a jewel:--ah, you don't know her, but I do--hip, hip, old cook."

"Phil," said Val, "you have been at the brandy; I see it in your eye, and I hear it in your speech."

"Well," said Phil, "I have, and what then--that's the chat; who's afraid, M'Clutchy?"

"Phil, Phil," said the father, "this won't do."

"I say it will do, and it must do," returned the son--"but harkee, old c.o.c.k, is Deaker, the precious, d----d yet?"

"If ever man was," replied his father--"and not a penny to either of us, Phil; not as much as would jingle on his own lying tombstone, and a lying one it will be no doubt. Did you get the affidavits prepared?"

"I did, but curse the rascals, I was obliged to make them drunk before they would consent to swear them. The truth is, I put in a lot of stuff out of my own head," said Phil, "and they refused to swear to it until I made them blind."

"You must have made devilish stretches when they refused," said the father, "where are they now?"

"Locked up in the stable loft, fast asleep," replied Phil, "and ready to swear."

"It is well," said Val, "that we have affidavits and information enough for his arrest, independent of theirs. Go in, Phil, and keep yourself steady--Easel must be my own concern, I see that; he shall be arrested this day; I have everything prepared for it."

"Very well," said Phil; "with all my heart--I have better game in view,"

and he knowingly rubbed his finger along his nose as he spoke.

"If you were sober," said Val, "I could have wished you to witness the full glut of my vengeance upon M'Loughlin, inasmuch, my excellent son, as it was on your account I received the insult, the injury--why, by h----n, he trampled upon me!--that shall never be forgiven, but which will this day, Phil, meet the vengeance that has been h.o.a.rded up here--" and, as he spoke, he placed his hand upon his heart. "The sheriff," he added, "and his officers are there by this time--for I do a.s.sure you, Phil, I will make short work of it. As for those ungrateful scoundrels that refused to send their cars and carts, I know how to deal with them; and yet, the rascals, as matters now stand between Hartley and us, I can't afford to turn them out of the corps."

"Go ahead, I say," replied Phil; "I have better game on hands than your confounded corps, or your confounded popish M'Loughlins."

Raymond, who walked, _pari pa.s.su_, along with him, looked at him from time to time and, as he did, it might be observed that his eyes flashed actual fire--sometimes with an appearance of terrible indignation, and sometimes with that of exultation and delight.