Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent Part 50

"Here is the case of some of your wreckers, M'Clutchy, charged here with illegally, maliciously, and violently pulling down several houses in the village of Crockaniska--a.s.saulting and maltreating the unoffending inhabitants."

"Halt there a moment," said Val; "rebels, every man of the said inhabitants, which I can prove. My men, who are remarkable for their Protestantism and loyalty, went upon private information--"

"More of the spy system," said Hartley, smiling.

"Mr. Hartley, you may smile, but truth is truth," replied Val; "we had private information that they had arms and rebellious papers, and the latter we have got under the thatch of their cabins."

"Private information!--still more of the spy system," repeated Hartley, smiling again.

"But not the arms?" asked Sir William.

"No, Sir William, not the arms; the rebels were too quick for us there."

"Then, they expected you it seems," observed Hartley; "and, if so, when taking away the arms, I am anxious to know why they should have been such fools as to leave the papers behind them."

"I am not here to account for their conduct, sir," replied Val, "but to state the facts as they occurred--they may, for instance, not have had time to bring them. It is not a month, for instance, since my fellows in Still hunting--and talking of that, Mr. Hartley, will you allow me to send you a couple of kegs of such stuff as is not to be had on every hill head; I offer it from pure good will, for I really regret that there should be any want of cordiality between our families."

"Our families," asked Hartley, with a look of surprise and indignation, "our families, sir! what do you mean?"

"Oh, d.a.m.n it, Hartley, don't explode; I mean nothing offensive between us--then, dropping the families," said Val, fawningly, for he saw the other's nostril begin to dilate--

"And, you cowardly hound, why should you drop the families," inquired Deaker, taking fire; "do you forget, sirra, who your father was?"

"And do you forget, sirra," resumed Hartley, "who your mother is?"

"d.a.m.n it," replied Val, still with fawning good-humor, "how am I accountable for their conduct before I had existence? I neither made them as they were, nor as they are."

"Then have the modesty," said Hartley, "to forbear any allusion to them, especially in the way of comparison."

"For one of them, Hartley, I reply," said Deaker, "that he is of a better family than yourself; and don't imagine, my worthy fellow, that however you may browbeat others, you will be permitted to bully or browbeat me. I say, sir, there is better blood in my veins than ever ran through yours."

"I had no intention of bullying or browbeating any man here," replied Hartley, "much less one whose age and virtues must prevent him--"

"Not from meeting you like a man," said Deaker; "old as I am, I can yet stand my ground, or if not, d--n me, I can tie a stake to my bottom, and you may take that as a proof that I won't run away."

"n.o.body suspects you for that," said the other. "Out of the long catalogue of human virtues, courage is the only one loft you, or indeed, you ever had--unless, indeed, it be the shameless and diabolical honesty of glorying in your own vices."

"Why, Hartley!" replied Deaker, "you forget, that you had more vices, and,'hammers, too, in your family, and more bra.s.s, than ever I or mine could' boast of. If the memory of that successful old tinker, your grandfather, had not pa.s.sed out of your mind, you would make no allusion to vices or screws, and take care, my good hot-brained young fellow, that you don't die in your family trade, and come to the pully yet."

Hartley, who was hasty, but exceedingly good-natured, although certainly a noted duelist, now burst out into a hearty laugh, as did most of the rest.

"Deaker," said he, "there is no use in being angry with you, nor in being ashamed that my fortune was created by industry and honesty, for both of which virtues I have reason heartily to thank my good old grandfather, the hardware man, as you have for thanking the sire of your father, the worthy tailor, who had the honor of being appointed one of Peg Nicholson's knights, ha, ha, ha!"

The laughter now became general and excessive; but not one of them enjoyed, or seemed at least, to enjoy it with more good-humor than Val; who, indeed, was never known to exhibit any want of temper to his equals during his life.

"Well," said he, "ha, ha, ha! now that that breeze has blown over--about the poteen, Hartley?"

"Thanks, Val; but no poteen, if you please."

"Then, gentlemen," said Val, "to resume business; I was alluding to the seizure of a Still about a month ago near Drum Dhu, where the parties just had time to secure the Still itself, but were forced to leave the head and worm behind them; now, that I give as a fair ill.u.s.tration of our getting the papers, and missing the arms. Besides," said he, in a wheedling and confidential tone, addressed to a clique of his friends, the jobbers, whom he joined at the lower end of the room, "you are all aware that my fellows are staunch Orangemen, every one of them, and the government itself feels, for I have reason to know it, that it is neither politic or prudent to check the spirit which is now abroad among them; so far from that, I can tell you it is expected that we should stimulate and increase it, until the times change. The bills against these men must, therefore, be thrown out."

"I'll agree to that," said a leading man of his own party, "only on one condition. There are three of my own tenants, Papists to be sure, in for distilling poteen. Now, we must have them out, Val, for one good turn deserves another.

"But why?" inquired Val and his friends.

"Why, simply, because the poor fellows were distilling for myself," he replied; "all the apparatus were mine, and I can't think of allowing them to be transported for my own act."

"Very well, then a bargain be it," said Val, "so out they go."

Whilst every man was thus working, either for his friends or against his enemies, or not unfrequently both, Hartley, who, in point of fact, felt always anxious to do as much good as he could, addressed Sir William:

"Have you no friends in difficulty, Sir William, or who require your advocacy now? I see the jobbers are hard at work. Some working heaven and earth to wreak the vengeance of law upon their enemies; others quite as anxious to turn aside justice from their friends."

"Eh! what's that!" said Sir William, starting up; "come, Hartley, you are right; there are four of my tenants in for a fray--the M'Caffreys, and the poor devils stand no chance with such a jury as they will have.

I hear them named below there--so let us join the jobbers as you say, and see if we cannot get the Bills thrown out."

"Very well," said Val, as they approached him, "the M'Caffreys go to trial."

"Sir William, excuse me," said Hartley; "will you allow me to interfere, in the first instance?"

"My dear fellow, certainly, with great pleasure, and I shall aid you as far as I can."

"Val," said Hartley, in that kind of familiar tone which he knew would go far with such a man as M'Clutchy, and which was in such accordance with his own natural good-humor--"Val, my good fellow, and the best man of business here, by the way, notwithstanding the poteen affair, I want you to stand my friend and also Sir William's here."

"How is that, Hartley?"

"There are four men in from the Mountain Bar, named M'Caffrey. Now we want to have the Bills against them ignored; and simply for a plain reason--at this season of the year any lengthy imprisonment would ruin them. It was a faction fight or something of that kind, and of course there is no feeling of a religious or party nature in it. Am I not right, Sir William?"

"Perfectly; the thing took place during my absence in England for the last few months. Had I been at home, the matter would have been peaceably decided in my own stable-yard."

"Yes," observed Val, "but it appears there was a man's life in danger."

"Yes, but, sir, his life is now out of danger."

"Well, but does not this," rejoined Val in his most serious mood, "look very like obstructing the course of justice?"

"Why, you d----d scoundrel," said the Baronet, "what, in nineteen cases out of twenty, is done at every a.s.sizes where matters connected with religion or politics are concerned, that ought not to be called obstructing the course of justice?"

"We shall return true Bills, Sir William and that is the only reply I have to make, except to thank you for your courtesy."

"Mr. M'Clutchy," said Hartley, "I know your good sense and forbearance, both of which are so creditable to you. These poor fellows will be ruined, for both you and I know what kind of jury that is to try them."

"An honest jury, Mr. Hartley," said Mr, M'Clutchy, who was now beginning to feel a little of his power--"an honest jury, Mr. Hartley."

"I give you leave to say so, Val; but, in the meantime, I will accept one favor from you, if you grant me two."

"How is that sir?" asked Val.