Uncle's dream; And The Permanent Husband - novelonlinefull.com
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It was the third of July. The heat and closeness of the air had become quite unbearable. The day had been a busy one for Velchaninoff-he had been walking and driving about without rest, and had still in prospect a visit in the evening to a certain state councillor who lived somewhere on the Chornaya Riechka (black stream), and whom he was anxious to drop in upon unexpectedly.
At six o'clock our hero issued from his house once more, and trudged off to dine at a restaurant on the Nefsky, near the police-bridge-a second-rate sort of place, but French. Here he took his usual corner, and ordered his usual dinner, and waited.
He always had a rouble(1) dinner, and paid for his wine extra, which moderation he looked upon as a discreet sacrifice to the temporary financial embarra.s.sment under which he was suffering.
He regularly went through the ceremony of wondering how he could bring himself to eat "such nastiness," and yet as regularly he demolished every morsel, and with excellent show of appet.i.te too, just as though he had eaten nothing for three days.
"This appet.i.te can't be healthy!" he murmured to himself sometimes, observing his own voracity. However, on this particular occasion, he sat down to his dinner in a miserably bad humour: he threw his hat angrily away somewhere, tipped his chair back,-and reflected.
He was in the sort of humour that if his next neighbour-dining at the little table near him-were to rattle his plate, or if the boy serving him were to make any little blunder, or, in fact, if any little petty annoyance were to put him out of a sudden, he was quite capable of shouting at the offender, and, in fact, of kicking up a serious row on the smallest pretext.
Soup was served to him. He took up his spoon, and was about to commence operations, when he suddenly threw it down again, and started from his seat. An unexpected thought had struck him, and in an instant he had realized why he had been plunged in gloom and mental perturbation during the last few days. Goodness knows why he thus suddenly became inspired, as it were, with the truth; but so it was. He jumped from his chair, and in an instant it all stood out before him as plain as his five fingers! "It's all that hat!" he muttered to himself; "it's all simply and solely that d.a.m.nable round hat, with the c.r.a.pe band round it; that's the reason and cause of all my worries these last days!"
He began to think; and the more he thought, the more dejected he became, and the more astonishing appeared the "remarkable circ.u.mstance of the hat."
"But, hang it all, there _is_ no circ.u.mstance!" he growled to himself.
"What circ.u.mstance do I mean? There's been nothing in the nature of an event or occurrence!"
The fact of the matter was this: Nearly a fortnight since, he had met for the first time, somewhere about the corner of the Podiacheskaya, a gentleman with c.r.a.pe round his hat. There was nothing particular about the man-he was just like all others; but as he pa.s.sed Velchaninoff he had stared at him so fixedly that it was impossible to avoid noticing him, and more than noticing-observing him attentively.
The man's face seemed to be familiar to Velchaninoff. He had evidently seen him somewhere and at some time or other.
"But one sees thousands of people during one's life," thought Velchaninoff; "one can't remember every face!" So he had gone on his way, and before he was twenty yards further, to all appearances he had forgotten all about the meeting, in spite of the strength of the first impression made upon him.
And yet he had _not_ forgotten; for the impression remained all day, and a very original impression it was, too,-a kind of objectless feeling of anger against he knew not what. He remembered his exact feelings at this moment, a fortnight after the occurrence: how he had been puzzled by the angry nature of his sentiments at the time, and puzzled to such an extent that he had never for a moment connected his ill-humour with the meeting of the morning, though he had felt as cross as possible all day. But the gentleman with the c.r.a.pe band had not lost much time about reminding Velchaninoff of his existence, for the very next day he met the latter again, on the Nefsky Prospect and again he had stared in a peculiarly fixed way at him.
Velchaninoff flared up and spat on the ground in irritation-Russian like, but a moment after he was wondering at his own wrath. "There are faces, undoubtedly," he reflected, "which fill one with disgust at first sight; but I certainly _have_ met that fellow somewhere or other.
"Yes, I _have_ met him before!" he muttered again, half an hour later.
And again, as on the last occasion, he was in a vile humour all that evening, and even went so far as to have a bad dream in the night; and yet it never entered his head to imagine that the cause of his bad temper on both occasions had been the accidental meeting with the gentleman in mourning, although on the second evening he had remembered and thought of the chance encounter two or three times.
He had even flared up angrily to think that "such a dirty-looking cad"
should presume to linger in his memory so long; he would have felt it humiliating to himself to imagine for a moment that such a wretched creature could possibly be in any way connected with the agitated condition of his feelings.
Two days later the pair had met once more at the landing place of one of the small Neva ferry steamers.
On the third occasion Velchaninoff was ready to swear that the man recognised him, and had pressed through the crowd towards him; had even dared to stretch out his hand and call him by name. As to this last fact he was not quite certain, however. "At all events, who the deuce _is_ he?"
thought Velchaninoff, "and why can't the idiot come up and speak to me if he really does recognise me; and if he so much wishes to do so?" With these thoughts Velchaninoff had taken a droshky and started off for the Smolney Monastery, where his lawyer lived.
Half an hour later he was engaged in his usual quarrel with that gentleman.
But that same evening he was in a worse humour than ever, and his night was spent in fantastic dreams and imaginings, which were anything but pleasant. "I suppose it's bile!" he concluded, as he paid his matutinal visit to the looking-gla.s.s.
This was the third meeting.
Then, for five days there was not a sign of the man; and yet, much to his distaste, Velchaninoff could not, for the life of him, avoid thinking of the man with the c.r.a.pe band.
He caught himself musing over the fellow. "What have I to do with him?" he thought. "What can his business in St. Petersburg be?-he looks busy: and whom is he in mourning for? He clearly recognises me, but I don't know in the least who he is! And why do such people as he is put c.r.a.pe on their hats? it doesn't seem 'the thing' for them, somehow! I believe I shall recognise this fellow if I ever get a good close look at him!"
And there came over him that sensation we all know so well-the same feeling that one has when one can't for the life of one think of the required word; every other word comes up; a.s.sociations with the right word come up; occasions when one has used the word come up; one wanders round and round the immediate vicinity of the word wanted, but the actual word itself will not appear, though you may break your head to get at it!
"Let's see, now: it was-yes-some while since. It was-where on earth was it? There was a-oh! devil take whatever there was or wasn't there! What does it matter to me?" he broke off angrily of a sudden. "I'm not going to lower myself by thinking of a little cad like that!"
He felt very angry; but when, in the evening, he remembered that he had been so upset, and recollected the cause of his anger, he felt the disagreeable sensation of having been caught by someone doing something wrong.
This fact puzzled and annoyed him.
"There must be some reason for my getting so angry at the mere recollection of that man's face," he thought, but he didn't finish thinking it out.
But the next evening he was still more indignant; and this time, he really thought, with good cause. "Such audacity is unparalleled!" he said to himself.
The fact of the matter is, there had been a fourth meeting with the man of the c.r.a.pe hat band. The latter had apparently arisen from the earth and confronted him. But let me explain what had happened.
It so chanced that Velchaninoff had just met, accidentally, that very state-councillor mentioned a few pages back, whom he had been so anxious to see, and on whom he had intended to pounce unexpectedly at his country house. This gentleman evidently avoided Velchaninoff, but at the same time was most necessary to the latter in his lawsuit. Consequently, when Velchaninoff met him, the one was delighted, while the other was very much the reverse. Velchaninoff had immediately b.u.t.ton-holed him, and walked down the street with him, talking; doing his very utmost to keep the sly old fox to the subject on which it was so necessary that he should be pumped. And it was just at this most important moment, when Velchaninoff's intellect was all on the _qui vive_ to catch up the slightest hints of what he wished to get at, while the foxy old councillor (aware of the fact) was doing his best to reveal nothing, that the former, taking his eyes from his companion's face for one instant, beheld the gentleman of the c.r.a.pe hatband walking along the other side of the road, and looking at him-nay, _watching_ him, evidently-and apparently smiling!
"Devil take him!" said Velchaninoff, bursting out into fury at once, while the "old fox" instantly disappeared, "and I should have succeeded in another minute. Curse that dirty little hound! he's simply spying me.
I'll-I'll hire somebody to-I'll take my oath he laughed at me! D-n him, I'll thrash him. I wish I had a stick with me. I'll-I'll buy one! I won't leave this matter so. Who the deuce is he? I _will_ know! Who is he?"
At last, three days after this fourth encounter, we find Velchaninoff sitting down to dinner at his restaurant, as recorded a page or two back, in a state of mind bordering upon the furious. He could not conceal the state of his feelings from himself, in spite of all his pride. He was obliged to confess at last, that all his anxiety, his irritation, his state of agitation generally, must undoubtedly be connected with, and absolutely attributed to, the appearance of the wretched-looking creature with the c.r.a.pe hatband, in spite of his insignificance.
"I may be a hypochondriac," he reflected, "and I may be inclined to make an elephant out of a gnat; but how does it help me? What use is it to me if I persuade myself to believe that _perhaps_ all this is fancy? Why, if every dirty little wretch like that is to have the power of upsetting a man like myself, why-it's-it's simply unbearable!"
Undoubtedly, at this last (fifth) encounter of to-day, the elephant had proved himself a very small gnat indeed. The "c.r.a.pe man" had appeared suddenly, as usual, and had pa.s.sed by Velchaninoff, but without looking up at him this time; indeed, he had gone by with downcast eyes, and had even seemed anxious to pa.s.s un.o.bserved. Velchaninoff had turned rapidly round and shouted as loud as ever he could at him.
"Hey!" he cried. "You! c.r.a.pe hatband! You want to escape notice this time, do you? Who are you?"
Both the question and the whole idea of calling after the man were absurdly foolish, and Velchaninoff knew it the moment he had said the words. The man had turned round, stopped for an instant, lost his head, smiled-half made up his mind to say something,-had waited half a minute in painful indecision, then twisted suddenly round again, and "bolted"
without a word. Velchaninoff gazed after him in amazement. "What if it be _I_ that haunt _him_, and not he me, after all?" he thought. However, Velchaninoff ate up his dinner, and then drove off to pounce upon the town councillor at the latter's house, if he could.
The councillor was not in; and he was informed that he would scarcely be at home before three or four in the morning, because he had gone to a "name's-day party."
Velchaninoff felt that this was too bad! In his rage he determined to follow and hunt the fellow up at the party: he actually took a droshky, and started off with that wild idea; but luckily he thought better of it on the way, got out of the vehicle and walked away towards the "Great Theatre," near which he lived. He felt that he must have motion; also he _must_ absolutely sleep well this coming night: in order to sleep he must be tired; so he walked all the way home-a fairly long walk, and arrived there about half-past ten, as tired as he could wish.
His lodging, which he had taken last March, and had abused ever since, apologising to himself for living "in such a hole," and at the same time excusing himself for the fact by the reflection that it was only for a while, and that he had dropped quite accidentally into St.
Petersburg-thanks to that cursed lawsuit!-his lodging, I say, was by no means so bad as he made it out to be!
The entrance certainly was a little dark, and dirty-looking, being just under the arch of the gateway. But he had two fine large light rooms on the second floor, separated by the entrance hall: one of these rooms overlooked the yard and the other the street. Leading out of the former of these was a smaller room, meant to be used as a bedroom; but Velchaninoff had filled it with a disordered array of books and papers, and preferred to sleep in one of the large rooms, the one overlooking the street, to wit.
His bed was made for him, every day, upon the large divan. The rooms were full of good furniture, and some valuable ornaments and pictures were scattered about, but the whole place was in dreadful disorder; the fact being that at this time Velchaninoff was without a regular servant. His one domestic had gone away to stay with her friends in the country; he thought of taking a man, but decided that it was not worth while for a short time; besides he hated flunkeys, and ended by making arrangements with his dvornik's sister Martha, who was to come up every morning and "do out" his rooms, he leaving the key with her as he went out each day.
Martha did absolutely nothing towards tidying the place and robbed him besides, but he didn't care, he liked to be alone in the house. But solitude is all very well within certain limits, and Velchaninoff found that his nerves could not stand all this sort of thing at certain bilious moments; and it so fell out that he began to loathe his room more and more every time he entered it.
However, on this particular evening he hardly gave himself time to undress; he threw himself on his bed, and determined that nothing should make him think of _anything_, and that he would fall asleep at once.
And, strangely enough, his head had hardly touched the pillow before he actually was asleep; and this was the first time for a month past that such a thing had occurred.
He awoke at about two, considerably agitated; he had dreamed certain very strange dreams, reminding him of the incoherent wanderings of fever.