Epiphany Of The Weak 188 Becoming The New Me

"Who... are you? Ivar...?" I said through gritted teeth. The pain made it hard for me to spit those words out.

His eyes widened. He held onto his right arm and bowed on one knee. "Forgive me, Sis Ava. But the moment I saw you in this state, I couldn't help but feel incredibly frustrated. It seems like Amathelia no longer cares about you."

The moment he mentioned that woman's name, hatred threatened to consume me again.

"Go away..." I said weakly.

"I can't bear seeing you like this. I have been following Amathelia because I believe that she will rescue her granddaughter from those evil people. Since she no longer has any intention of doing that, I will help you."

"...You're lying. You killed all those people because of me... right? Just leave me alone."

Ivar ground his teeth. It was not due to me rejecting him, but rather, it appeared like he was enduring some sort of pain all by himself. Perhaps it had something to do with the orange spikes at his back.

I had the knowledge that a fight broke out between him and Gheele, and the outcome of it was that Ivar's Aegis ceased to function, for some reason. At least, he wasn't using his signature Aegis wings right then as he talked to me.

"...Please. Only this time. Then I will never bother you ever again, Sis Ava," Ivar said with a foreign tone of voice. I could sense the sincerity in his words.

"Stop calling me that!"

Blood filled my mouth and I coughed from it. My emotions were screaming from the inside as if it wanted me to lash out at someone right then and there. But the only one with me was Ivar, his worried face somehow heightened my killing instinct.

It didn't suit him. For all I knew, he didn't have that kind of emotion. All he was capable of was killing people.

'Just like you?' said a little girl's voice inside my mind.

"I'm not—I'm..."

The little girl was right. My entire existence so far had been only to kill people; soldiers, civilians, no one was safe from me. Back when I was first called the Grim Reaper by the C.U's soldiers, I didn't feel any emotions except for the burning hatred I had at that time.

Ivar was like that to some extent, but his only drive was me whereas mine was Hope.

"...I don't have access to my Aegis for the time being," said Ivar. "But still, I want to help. Please. If Amathelia tries to harm you, I will even sacrifice myself to protect you."

I shook my head, my blood tears still flowing. "J-Just go away! If not..."

"Take my Aegis. Use your second Aegis to absorb it so that you can have my power in your a.r.s.enal," Ivar said smoothly.

"...Eh?"

He said it without any hesitation as if he had resolved himself to it for a long time. It wasn't right. It didn't feel right. Why is he so different than before? What happened to him exactly?

"I know you don't trust me. But Amathelia, the way she is... I doubt that she is the same woman I swore my loyalty to. She has changed. How can that woman, of all people abandon you like this? Please, let me help you! I can take you to someplace safe inside this C.U military HQ and no one will find Sis there. You have been here before, right?"

The sharp pain shot up again and I winced from it.

"Ava! Oh no... I can take you to Aya's room. It's safe there."

He offered me his hand, when a blue flash of light filled my vision in less than a second. Something flew upwards into the air and fell down next to me. I looked at it, and then back at Ivar.

His hand was sliced apart.

"Aaargh!" He screamed and held the regenerating hand in front of his face.

I looked over my shoulder slowly. A bunch of bladed weapons made out of different colors of Aegis crystals— scythes, sickles, scimitars, javelins, claws, broadswords— all of it protruding out of my back.

The ominous four Aegis wings with human skulls as its feathers were still there. My heart throbbed strongly for a few moments and I groaned from the pain. It felt like I was losing consciousness.

My emotions were taking over me, and I wasn't sure if I could stay sane any longer.

Images upon images of dead people unflipped by itself in my mind, most of it being my dearest friends.

"Stop... Why don't you understand...? J-Just stop... STOOP!"

My Aegis crystals ran wild after that and I was covered with so much of it forcing its way out of my skin.

"Ava!"

Ivar was about to put up a distance between us, but my Aegis crystals had turned to strike at him. Multiple blades sliced and diced in his direction and he rolled to the side in time to avoid it all.

"Ava..." He squinted his eyes at me. "It's not too late for me to save you. Please, absorb my Aegis and use it to suppress yours!"

However, as much as I wanted to do just that, my mind was already on the brink of insanity. The poisonous hatred that had seeped itself into my very being started to overcome me. The images of all my dead friends—no— the destruction of Mansel Island— all the faces I knew who died by my hands— these things flashed non-stop in my vision and before I knew it, everything inside me changed.

Multi-colored flames gushed out from my Aegis crystals and proceeded to engulf Ivar. He screamed, calling my name over and over. But I couldn't hear anything else he was saying.

It didn't matter.

My Aegis wings slammed at his side and his body flew across the hallway. A few seconds later, he crashed into a wall before chunks of cement dropped onto him due to the impact.

"It's his fault. Everything is his fault!" I said before laughing maniacally. "Why do I even care about anything? About this world? I don't deserve to be happy, do I...!? My only purpose for living is to continuously suffer until the day I die. Hahahahahahahahaha!"

The Aegis crystals that I had already formed swallowed me bit by bit, my flames wrapped itself around it.

Before long, only darkness embraced me. I was trapped inside my own weapon. Then, a deafening roar escaped my mouth, and I wasn't even sure if it was because of anger or sadness.

I screamed and yelled at the top of my lungs. What am I doing? It didn't matter at that point. If my destiny was to suffer, then so be it. I lost Lily, Maltyie and those I cared about down there at the camp. They were all wonderful people.

So why am I crying?

My tears of blood poured out as I sobbed, alone in the darkness. After a few silent moments, I began to call someone's name. The name of a guy who decided to risk his life for me when I was still ten— even though he knew involving himself with me would bring him to ruin. The name of a kind-hearted person who sought power in order to protect my life— and at the same time, regretted leaving my side. The name of someone I fell in love with, from the moment I realized this feeling I had for him.

If there was no chance for me to meet him again in the future, to convey my true feelings and got it across to him, then— I wanted to cherish the memories I had of him before I lost consciousness.

"Hope..."

As my vision flickered, every memory I had of him, ever since we first met, flashed in my mind.

"I love you, Hope. I love you..."

When I realized that I could never see his face again, I cried. Even when my eyes gave up on me, I didn't stop crying.

"H-Hope... Hic... Hope..."