Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's Letters Part 2

With all his open manliness of mind, Where solid sense, and sterling wit are join'd, In life poor _Cla.s.sic_ never could advance, The reason's plain--poor _Cla.s.sic_ could not dance.

How long in vain did learned JOHNSON toil!

And waste in busy thought the midnight oil: Whose page the Critics ever must revere, As long as genius is reputed dear, Whose heart exults, or swells with honest rage, As Vice, or Virtue marks the rising age; Whose nervous writings shook the trump of Fame, Yet left him nothing but a deathless name.

But when the features of each grace he wore, And look'd as JOHNSON never look'd before, Then came the meed, that honourable gain, Which sheds such l.u.s.tre over GEORGE'S Reign, That meed, which no good man can wish remov'd, Hinted by BUTE, by MAJESTY approv'd.

Adieu! and let the Graces be your text,[6]

But I'll be more explicit in my next: There will I teach thee, with a sire's concern, All that is proper for a son to learn: In pleasing segments how to pare your nails,[7]

Segments must please, as long as taste prevails.

The conduct of your breeches there make known, How best to pull 'em up, and let 'em down.

Teach thee to handle with peculiar grace, The snuff-box, toothpick, and the toothpick-case, And how to cut and eat a currant tart, Nor let your napkin, or your chin have part.

Once more, my Child! adieu! Remember me, And ne'er, O ne'er forget the GRACES THREE!

Hug 'em as close, as, when he goes to rest, HILL hugs his graceful _Order_ to his breast.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] The graceful manner of speaking is particularly what I shall always hollow in your ear, as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_ to _Henry_ the fourth, and like him, I have aimed to have a Starling taught to say, "_Speak distinctly and_ _gracefully_," and send him you to replace your loss of the unfortunate Matzell, who by the way, I am told, spoke his language _distinctly and gracefully_.

Lord Chesterfield's Letter to his Son, page 305. 4to. edit. 1st. Vol.

[2] I must repeat it to you over and over again, that with all the knowledge which you may have at present, or hereafter acquire, and with all the merit that ever man had, if you have not a graceful address, &c.

you will be n.o.body. Page 500, 1st. Vol.

[3] The reader is desired to fill up this blank to his own mind.

[4] You may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners. It is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy at silly things. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal and so ill-bred as audible laughter. Page 268.

[5] I am very glad you have received the diamond buckles safe. All I desire in return for them is, that they may be buckled even upon your foot, and that your stockings may not hide them.

[6] The Graces, the Graces, remember the Graces. Page 390.

[7] The ends of your nails should be small segments of circles, &c.

every time that you wipe your hands, rub the skin round your nails backwards, that it may not grow up and shorten your nails too much. Vol.

II. page 60.

FINIS.

THE

FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE;

OR,

LORD CHESTERFIELD's

ADVICE TO

HIS SON,

VERSIFIED.

[Price One Shilling.]

THE

FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE;

OR,

LORD CHESTERFIELD's

ADVICE TO

HIS SON,

VERSIFIED.

By a LADY.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

LONDON:

printed for T. DAVIES, in Russel-Street.

M DCC LXXVI.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

THE

FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE;

OR,