Tsukumodou Kottouten Vol 1 Chapter 3

Memories and Notes

The word memory means "past experience retained in the mind." The scientific definition reads "information from outside the human body stored within the human body by copying the data into the synapses of the biological neural network".

But knowing that doesn't make my memory any better.

If I consider the outcome of poor memorization, well, the result of the exams becomes a very unpleasant affair.

Unlike the nationwide mock exams that test your knowledge, the midterms and finals test whether you paid attention during cla.s.s.

Good grades don't really mean much to me. I'm okay as long as I can avoid supplementary exams. Memorizing the school books is enough to get me there.

Except that that's exactly what's so terrible and difficult to accomplish.

Are there no easier methods to remember things?

Come to think of it, I heard that you can remember anything if you write it on a note and eat it. I once gave it a shot for an exam.

...I suffered from an upset stomach for my trouble.

Why do I address this subject?

Well, because a teacher, who had already finished marking our exams, made a certain remark as I was leaving.

"The supplementary exam will cover the same subjects. Prepare yourself accordingly."

Right, then. Today's dinner is a bundle of memos.

But just where do I get them...?

...do photocopies also count?

My mother pa.s.sed at the hospital after falling down the stairs at home.

Death by accident. Her death was set aside with those three words.

But I had seen the truth.

I saw. Through a gap in the door of the room I'd been locked into, I saw. With swollen cheeks and bereft of clothes, I saw.

I saw him push her down.

I desperately tried to get a hearing, but no one believed me.

The truth is going to fade away and be forgotten.

I will forget before long, too.

I have a bad memory, so I will forget.

I don't want to.

I mustn't.

So I wrote it down.

In a notebook my mother had once given to me along with the advice that I should record everything that I absolutely didn't want to forget inside it.

It was not just a memento of her.

It was a special notebook—different from those I usually used—whose contents I never forget.

Therefore, I recorded it.

In order not to forget, I recorded it.

I recorded the truth behind my mother's death.

...Someone's here. Sheesh. It might be him. He'll destroy this if he finds it. I'll forget if he does.

I don't want to.

I mustn't.

The door opened slowly.

It was his hands.

He had come, after all.

I closed the notebook and looked for a place to hide it. However, I couldn't decide on a place because none seemed certain.

The door was still being opened.

With my gaze I compared the notebook that contained the truth of her death and the slowly opening door.

There was no time.

I tore off the page I had just written, pushed it into my mouth and gulped it down.

I concealed the truth of her death in my stomach.

Now I won't forget.

I won't forget for the rest of my life......

A while after waking up, I was so confused that I didn't know where I was.

I felt as though my consciousness had been gotten caught in between dream and reality.

After gazing at the patterns in the wooden ceiling for a few moments, I got a clear mind.

It took me a few more minutes to recognize that I lived here.

Fragments of my memories from before waking up were still in my head.

I'd had a dream.

But I had forgotten what it was about in these few minutes.

Leaving me with an irksome feeling, the memory of the dream had disappeared.

What kind of dream was it?

This memory wasn't going to return,

Unless I made a note, I couldn't recall memories that had disappeared.

Again. As always.

I couldn't recall things I wanted to recall.

Even though I couldn't forget things I wanted to forget.

I had trouble coping with the frustration of my helplessness.

I buried my face in the pillow and covered myself under the blanket, curling up in the darkness.

The moment my vision went black, a miracle occurred along with a sensation of sparks flying.

—I remembered. I remembered my dream.

It was a dream of my past.

At the same time, it also answered my question.

I finally realized why I couldn't forget it.

Because of exams, there were no afternoon cla.s.ses.

I was, despite everything, a mere student and, naturally, went to school. Since I went to school, I naturally also took cla.s.ses. Since I took cla.s.ses, I naturally also had to take exams when the time arrived. And, since I had to take exams, I naturally also had to take supplementary exams. Right. "Naturally." I disregard any opinions that claim otherwise.

Anyway, I went to the shop a little early even though my shift was scheduled for evening like always. I planned on studying for the supplementary exam the next day. Am I not diligent?

To my surprise, however, there was a customer.

It was extremely rare for someone else to be present other than the owner, Towako-san, or my workmate, Saki. One could take the shop's lack of customers for granted. One might ask, "What the h.e.l.l?," but I've had enough of that question.

From her appearance, the unexpected customer was in her early twenties. However, her presence made her seem a little older. She seemed fragile somehow, or insecure. The sad expression on her face may have augmented that impression.

Listening to her at a table that was for sale—a fake of a table with the ability of keeping everything on it even when flipping the table over like the pops of the showa era loved to do—was Towako-san.

Since when did we offer counseling?

That moment, Saki came out of the living room with a tray of black tea and our eyes met.

"Quite rare that we have a customer, huh?"

"It's an acquaintance of an acquaintance of Towako-san."

I thought about asking her for some black tea as well, but without leaving me any opportunity to enjoy some tea, Towako-san beckoned me over, "You came at just the right time. Tokiya, take a seat!"

I didn't know what "right time" it was, but I obediently sat down next to her. The woman on the other side greeted me with a nod, but looked a little perplexed.

"This is my part-timer. And this is Etsuko Uwajima," Towako-san introduced us to each other. "She's come here because of a problem she has. Join me in listening to her."

She loved to bargain over a Relic she was eyeing, but apparently she was bored of listening to someone's problems and planned on pushing the job onto me.

While I didn't have enough experience to counsel an adult woman, I wasn't so immature as to decline.

"All right, I am sorry, but may I ask you to start all over again?"

Etsuko-san nodded without seeming offended, and started calmly.

"To tell the truth, there is something I just can't seem to forget."

"Aha..."

"I have a bad memory and often forget things. This is due to the brain damage I received in a traffic accident when I was young."

Unsure what to say, I nodded vaguely. She continued without minding.

"I have absolutely no memory of anything before the accident. The memories right after the accident, too, have become very vague. I remember almost nothing from that period. Apparently, the portion of the brain that manages my memories was damaged in the accident. Moreover, I don't only forget about my past, but I am also very forgetful about everything," she said and gave a few examples to elaborate. "I immediately forget things like faces or the locations of shops I frequent. Sometimes, I forget to take my money at the bank or to wrap my purchases even though I take the change. Also, one time I was searching for something but forgot what I was looking for in the process. It's been like this since I was a child, and because of that I was often scolded. In elementary school, for example, I set the record of forgetting something one week in a row. ...Or was it two weeks? No, three weeks?"

She talked rather leisurely, or "other-wordly" perhaps. As a side note, she took a whole five minutes for the explanation so far. That should give an idea of just how sluggishly—excuse me, I mean how leisurely her way of speaking was.

I had taken a side-glance at Towako-san, but she pretty much allowed the explanation go in one ear and out the other. For her, that pace and nature had to be hard to endure.

Suddenly, the woman took a laptop out of her bag and started to look something up.

What was so important to pause and look it up?

"...Ah, it was in high school. I remember now."

She had checked that up as it seemed. Had she stored her personal history on that laptop or something?

To be honest, I didn't give a s.h.i.t. To begin with, didn't she kinda recall the wrong part there?

"Ah, but it's not like I forget each and every thing. I can memorize things like the multiplication tables or how to buy tickets."

Amnesia only involves forgetting part of one's experiences, like one's memories, but does not include bare knowledge. Besides, memorization itself doesn't decrease, so new memories are retained just fine.

Apparently, it's like the way to the old memories is being cut off.

In her case, it might have been something similar.

"Anyhow, once my mother, concerned about me, told me that I could memorize things if I wrote them on a notepad and ate it. When I tried it out, I really became able to memorize all kinds of things. Since then I have been eating notes to fight against my forgetfulness. I can keep things in mind quite a long time thanks to that. Quite the progress, isn't it?"

Like I care.

"So?"

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

"...Um, is something wrong?" I asked.

Etsuko-san was holding her cheek and c.o.c.king her head absent-mindedly.

"h.e.l.lo?" I asked again, upon which she peeked into my face.

"Excuse me, but what have I been talking about?"

Can I go home already?

"...and that's where you stopped."

I went to the trouble of repeating what she had said.

"Ah, I see," she said as she clapped her hands together with a beaming smile.

"Um, so what concern brings you here today?"

"Yes, listen please. As I said, I am still memorizing things by eating memos, and those memories fade away after a while, but there is one memory I just can't seem to forget. I really want to, but I can't..."

"Aha..."

"This is the notebook I mentioned."

With these words, Etsuko-san pointed at a notebook on the table.

It was soft to the touch and of high quality, and had a binding made of j.a.panese paper. Just, apart from that it was a boringly normal A4 notebook that contained unlined blank pages. If I had to tell if it looked tasty or not, well, no, it didn't. Although that was no problem.

Unsure how to react, I looked to the side. Towako-san gave me a nod. That's when I realized that this notebook was a Relic.

"I once had an acquaintance of mine show it to me. Probably there's no doubt."

"What kind of power does it have?"

"You don't forget anything you note down in it. Whatever is written in there remains in your memory—no matter how much time pa.s.ses, word for word."

So in short, I guess she's written something in it and can't forget it anymore.

"As soon as you've written something, is it really impossible to forget it?"

"No, you just have to erase it to revoke its effect. You can use an eraser or even just strike it out."

"Hey, then it's quite the simple task."

If she was unable to forget that memory, we just had to erase the corresponding text.

"Just, you know...," she sighed and showed me the opened notebook.

I saw the traces of torn-off pages.

"She's eaten the note."

"Exactly," the woman nodded in agreement.

A notebook that lets you remember everything you write in it.

A notebook that lets you forget something again if you erase it.

Then what happens if one were to eat a page?

"Dunno, no one has ever tried," Towako-san explained curtly. "But sweet Jesus, this is the first time I heard of someone eating a Relic! You never know what happens in life, though, and that's what makes it fun."

"Eating a memo isn't new, though."

That eating a memo will enable you to remember anything you've written on it is just a superst.i.tion some fool came up with when he was driven into a corner by his exams. But there are people who have to rely on this kind of superst.i.tion (I'm one to talk...).

She happened to be one of these people as well.

And in her case, she happened to have eaten a memo from a Relic.

"Normally, it's a really simple item... you remember what you write, and if you don't need it anymore, you just erase it," Towako-san said.

"If erasing does the trick, perhaps she'll forget when the note is digested?" I suggested.

"Unless she's eaten it today, it should be long digested by now."

"Then maybe in her shi—UGH!"

"We're eating."

Saki hit me with a tray. With good reason.

We were having a slightly late lunch. Saki's homemade cod roe spaghetti.

Only I, Saki and Towako-san were sitting around the lunch table. We had noted down Etsuko-san's contact information and sent her on her way.

The notebook itself was still here, as we were going to investigate it.

Etsuko Uwajima-san. 21 years old.

She had received the notebook from her mother when she was young and was told to write everything in it she didn't want to forget. We didn't know how her mother had obtained the notebook, nor did we know if she had known about Relics, but, at the very least, she seemed to have been aware of its power.

She had pa.s.sed away ten years ago. Apparently, she had slipped on the stairs and fallen badly, resulting in her death. Her parents were divorced, so the father had not been there. I couldn't ask for details about her family environment, but I guessed it was a rather complicated one. At the moment she lived alone. Her address was about three stations from here. That was about all we knew about her.

"She remembers stuff like this, huh."

Despite her lackl.u.s.ter memory, she was able to tell us these things rather easily. Well, for part of it she had used her computer, though.

"Keep in mind that there are two factors you must distinguish. Otherwise you'll get confused," Towako-san said.

"I am already. So, what factors do you mean?"

"First, she lost her memory due to an accident, which has also made her memories thereafter ambiguous and uncertain."

"The other one?" I asked.

"She's simply forgetful from nature."

"Yeah, she was quite the airhead..."

I looked at Saki. Wasn't she also an airhead in a sense?

"What?" She looked back at me expressionlessly upon noticing my gaze.

"No, nothing."

I turned back to Towako-san.

"I'm no expert in this field either, so I'm basing this on common knowledge and my own guesswork," she started, "A human brain has a short-term memory and a long-term memory. Furthermore, the latter consists of the episodic memory, used for recollections, and the semantic memory, used for factual knowledge. None of this is new to you, right?"

"Right."

Never heard of it.

"The accident probably damaged her long-time memory. I guess it's true that she can remember almost nothing from her past, but in her computer she has a decent amount of data that fills in the gaps. That's why she remembers her mother for example."

So the hard disk of her computer is supplementing her brain?

"And as for why she forgets to take her money at the bank and had forgotten things during elementary school, well, she's a scatterbrain. It's not just her—these things can happen to everyone. Everyone forgets his or her short-term memory within a few minutes, after all. It's just that normally, you repeat those things in mind or look at a memo, so you can store it in your long-term memory. A scatterbrain tends to neglect doing so, or just gets distracted with something else."

Does that mean that I can't remember anything from cla.s.ses because it never reaches the long-term memory? I don't study at home after all.

"In her explanation, she mixed the damage of her memory and her forgetfulness, which made her story incoherent. Looks like she didn't notice it herself, though. At any rate," she sighed, "The notebook Relic makes her remember things without paying heed to her mind structure."

"So, what do we do?"

"Well, I think I'll solve her problem. It's rude to leave her to her own devices after accepting her request for advice. Besides, there's a reward. A reward!"

The ratio is 1:3, huh... That's how bad our sales are.

"But is there really a need to do anything? After all, she has written it into her notebook because she didn't want to forget."

"Presently, she wants to forget. Although I don't know what."

Right. In the end, we couldn't find out what she wanted to forget.

She asked us not to press her on it because it was private. We accepted for now, since we deemed it possible to find "a way to forget" even without knowing "what to forget".

Nonetheless, I was somewhat interested in whatever it was that could be troublesome to remember.

"That said, this hasn't happened before, so there's nothing we could research. Let's wait and see for a while."

"I agree... By the way, she was introduced to you by an acquaintance, right?"

"Mm? Yeah."

"What kind of person is that acquaintance?"

"What do you mean by 'what kind'?"

"Nah, I just wondered if it's someone like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Well, someone who isn't only a sucker for Relics, but oddities of all kinds, and who loves to try them out on others. In other words, an oddball that can't adapt to society...?

"No, don't tell me. If you do, one of my important part-timers might end up dead."

She'd rather reflect on her actions than restrain herself and not ask. That said, I was not so stupid as to voluntarily go in harm's way.

"So what kind of person is it?"

"Oh, just an old friend. A nuisance that gives Relics to people on a whim," Towako-san muttered with an absent gaze.

As the matter had been settled for the time being, I decided to study.

I had a supplementary exam the following day; there was enough pressure to get me into the mood.

If I'd had even just a tenth of my current willingness at school, then I wouldn't have to suffer now...

Well, I knew only too well that this was impossible, though.

"Didn't your exams end today?" Saki asked with an observant look.

"H-Homework."

"You got yourself a supplementary exam, didn't ya?" Towako-san hit the bull's eye.

Well, it was a bad excuse anyway, since I never did homework.

"You're quite the maverick for wanting to take a supplementary exam," Saki remarked in a flat voice.

I would have laughed back at her if that had been sarcasm. But in her case, she apparently didn't know what a supplementary exam was. There we have another oddball who can't adapt to society.

"Even though I helped you so much yesterday...," Towako-san sighed.

You call that help?

I admit that doing it like a quiz and asking me questions is a perfectly valid way to study, but I have a strong feeling that it was more just me helping her kill time.

"Alrighty, repet.i.tion time. Explain the Doppler effect!"

"Uuhm, aah, let me think... that's that swaying of the pitch when an ambulance pa.s.sed by or when you come by a railroad crossing."

"Not examples, tell me the definition."

"Umm, something about... the source of waves..."

"The formulae?"

"Weell, there were a few..."

That was a problem I hadn't been able to answer after three tries the other day. Of course this had also been in the exam, but it was questionable if I had answered correctly. Since I hadn't been able to answer it in the shop, I had given up on it when I came across it in the exam.

Towako-san let out a deep sigh.

"If your grades drop too much, I won't be able to let you work here."

"They're not high enough to drop."

"Don't act big, you fool," she said and tore off a page from the notebook Relic for some reason. "Here. It belongs to someone else, so I can't give you the whole thing, but a page should be okay."

She tossed me the torn-off page.

"M-May I really?"

"It'd rub me the wrong way if your grades dropped because of my shop. Note only the things down you can't remember whatever you try."

Suddenly, for the first time, she looked like an angel to me.

Studying had never been so effective in my life.

After all, everything went straight into my head as soon as I had written it down. For the first time in my life, I had fun studying. I was now able to accept the statement that studying was fun if you caught on.

I noted down everything the exam covered, writing as tiny as I could. I couldn't get everything on the page, front and back, but it was enough to avoid falling flat.

To my surprise, Towako-san prepared Tonkatsu[1] for dinner to raise my spirits and make me "win" against the exam. She was just like a mother to her son who had to take an entrance examination.

It was always Saki who prepared the meals, so I was surprised Towako-san could actually cook. She couldn't wash and clean, but cooking was something different according to her.

"Yum, really tasty!"

"Hehe, looking in a different light at me now?" Towako-san boasted with a smirk. "Okay, we're doing some repet.i.tion while eating! Question: What is the Doppler effect?"

"A phenomenon that occurs due to the relative motion of a wave and its source, or a wave and its observer. The formula to calculate the frequency if the source approaches the observer is..."

I smirked like Towako-san, "Hehe," and answered with ease like reciting the one times table. The answer came out so fluently, I could hardly believe this was my mouth.

I was able to answer almost all questions Towako-san asked me—except for the ones that weren't written in the Relic.

I've got it! My preparations are perfect.

It was also the first time that I couldn't wait for my exams.

01:00pm: I went to the Tsuk.u.modo Antique Shop (FAKE) with my notebook—the memento of my mother.

I talked with Towako Settsu, the owner, and her employees, Saki Maino and Tokiya Kurusu.

What I talked about: myself. My name, my address, my phone number and my age. My accident. My defective memory. The notebook.

What I learned about: the notebook. Confirmed that it lets me remember everything I write in it, as my mother said, and it's known as a "Relic". In order to forget, I only have to erase or cross out the corresponding section. But it's unknown what happens to sections I have eaten.

They are looking for a way to let me forget the memory in question.

I have left the notebook in their care. (←important!)

On the way home I made my purchases.

What I bought: chicken breast meat, potatoes and onions for dinner. Furthermore: tissues and a packet of toothbrushes.

For dinner I prepared sautéed chicken with a potato salad, an onion soup and French bread.

...Having written my diary to that point, I took a breath.

I called it diary, but as a matter of fact, you could say I traced my memories. After writing all that had happened that day before the memories faded, I copied the text to my computer.

I did so to help me remember these things when I forgot about them in the future.

As for the text I'd written on a memo, I was going to eat it to make my memories hold longer. I usually ate such memos distributed on my lunch, my dinner and before going to bed. Eating memos to remember things is said to be a superst.i.tion, but to me it had already become a habit, because I had been doing it since I was young on the order of my mother.

The notebooks I was using were common ones you can buy in every store and not the Relic she had bequeathed to me. Because it was all stored in my computer as well, I used such notebooks unless it was something I wanted to remember no matter what.

I fetched some water and tore the page off the notebook. I then crumpled it up, making it a little easier to eat. I used to throw up or upset my stomach in the past, but by now I had become used to it.

I soaked the page in water and put it into my mouth. It wasn't a pleasant taste at all, but still I kept chewing to make it squashier.

Previously I had mixed it into my meals, but I couldn't do so anymore as of late.

The chime rang.

I stopped chewing and gulped the page down.

I washed it down with the remaining water and headed to the entrance.

It was Hideki-san who had come home from work.

"Hey."

"Welcome back."

Hideki-san entered and I welcomed him with a smile.

He was my fiancé I was going to marry soon. We had known each other since childhood, and after going separate ways for a while, we met again and started dating each other.

"Aah, I'm starving! Is dinner ready?"

"Yes, it's prepared. I just have to warm it up."

He lived in the house next to mine, and always came for dinner after work. Therefore, I couldn't mix the notes into my meals anymore, but I didn't mind it.

"What's for today?"

"Sauteed chicken with a potato salad, an onion soup and French bread."

Thank goodness, I remembered it.

"Could I have some rice instead of bread?"

"There are leftovers from yesterday, I'll warm them up for you."

I have to add this and eat it before going to sleep.

With these thoughts in mind, I took out a pan to fry the chicken breast.

After dinner, we made ourselves comfortable and watched TV.

When I made us some tea and came back from the kitchen, Hideki-san raised a subject, "On the way here I heard our neighbors talking about a suspicious person lingering in this area."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Make sure you lock the door when you leave, okay?"

Indeed. This was a serious matter for me, as I often forgot to lock up.

"What does he look like?" I asked, since knowing his features was going to help me identify him.

"Umm..."

"Wait a second."

I prepared a pen and a notebook, so I wouldn't forget.

As Hideki-san knew about my accident and the after effects on my memory, he patiently waited for me.

"...They said it's a man about fifty or sixty. He's been walking around in these quarters wearing a jumper and was covering his face with a cap."

"Fifty or sixty...?"

A fearful notion crossed my mind.

I shook that thought off right away. He wasn't supposed to know where I was. It had to be someone else. I told myself to stop having such useless premonitions.

"Does it ring a bell with you? Did you see him or no?"

"Ah, no. I just thought that quite a lot fall under these conditions."

"Well, indeed." He didn't consider suspicious characters or criminals a direct threat. While he took note of the case, apparently he wasn't bothered that much and changed the subject. "Anyways, there's something I wanted to ask you about our wedding ceremony!"

"Ah, yes?"

"Do you even remember the date?"

"O-Of course!"

There was a date that came to mind, but I was too unsure to put it into words. I had no confidence. If I was wrong, he would certainly be offended. My defective memory aside, it would be outrageous to forget such an important thing.

I know... I really do... but...

"Just joking! I mean, you wouldn't forget that, now would you?" he laughed without showing any doubt.

I felt a pang of conscience.

"Anyway, a friend of mine is planning on making a slideshow for the wedding reception. You know, that thing where you show old photos. For that I'd like to have a few of you, too. Where do you keep them?"

"They are in a cardboard in the room over there... I think. I'll take a look."

"Ah, there's no hurry. Let's pick some together another time."

"I agree."

"Then about your guests..."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Are you sure you only want to invite your grandparents from your relatives?"

"Yes. I don't really maintain contact with my relatives, you know. I'm sorry. I know, you have invited a lot..."

"I don't mind, but are you sure you don't want to get in touch with your father?"

"...yes. I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry. Sorry for pestering you about it. All right! We have a lot to do!" Hideki-san laughed.

I was seized by unrest, afraid that I might ruin his smile.

The next day.

There were two other students in the cla.s.sroom, desperately cramming with their books and notes before the supplementary exam started.

Give it your best shot, my friends. Struggle to your heart's content! As you have no choice! Unlike me.

I watched them from behind—just like a certain colonel who once said "Aha, some human garbage!" while looking down on the mob.

"Is everyone here?" asked the teacher as he entered through the door at the rear. "Quite confident today, aren't you?" he said upon noticing that I wasn't struggling to do my last preparations. "You look like you have completed your preparations."

"Something like that, yes."

"Now if only you'd make that be the case at the normal exams as well."

"Let's not go into that!"

"Hahaha, very well, then show me what you can," the teacher said, apparently rea.s.sured by my self-confidence.

He distributed the exercise sheets to the three of us. I was devoid of fear of what awaited me on the other side of the turned sheets.

He, he, he! No problem, my dear teacher. Lean back and let me show you my skill!

"You have sixty minutes. You can leave when you're done. The test covers the same subjects as the previous one. I even made the problems a little easier. Try to ease your tension a little and you'll be able to use your full power."

You made them easier? Oh, but my dear teacher, there was no need to do that.

Well? Since I'm not alone, I guess you had no other choice.

Allow me to thank you on their behalf.

I shall respond in kind to the goodwill you've shown your students with a good grade.

"Okay, start!"

As soon as I heard the start call, I swiftly flipped around the paper.

Lots of questions leaped to my eye.

Making up my mind, I tightened my grip on the pen and—

".........eh?"

—grew stiff.

"How was the exam?" Towako-san asked right away when I came rushing in.

I ignored her and started searching my study materials I had used the day before.

"Welcome back. How was the..." Saki was eager to know as well.

"It's not there! Nowhere! Hey, where is the torn-off note that I put here?!"

"Note?"

"Yes! Look, there was a paper with the exam questions on it, right?"

"Didn't you bring it to school?"

I hadn't, since there had been no need to.

"It's not there?" she asked.

"I'm asking because it's not!"

I started rummaging through the trash bin. However, I didn't find the note on which I had written the scope of the exam in the minutest details.

"Looks like it ended up as expected, heh," Towako-san chuckled, seeing my fruitless search attempt.

With a queasy feeling, I pressed on her. "What's that supposed to mean? As expected?"

"By 'as expected' I mean that the result I expected became reality!"

"That's not what I want to hear... Towako-san, you know where the note is, don't you?"

Towako-san pointed at me with a broad smile.

"If I had it, I wouldn't be searching, now would I? I didn't take it with me!"

"I know that you didn't. To be exact, you couldn't. Ah no, should I say that you did, in this case?"

"Tell me where it is, already!"

"As I said, right there!"

She pointed at me once more. Specifically, at the center if my body—my stomach.

"Or is it perhaps already over there, to be exact?" she corrected herself and moved her finger toward the restroom.

"N-No way...?"

"But yes. I blended that note into yesterday's Tonkatsu. You loved it, didn't you? Your Relic-flavored cutlet," she said with a brazen face. "So we learned that digesting a memo has the same effect as erasing the text. That's a step forward!"

So that was why she had prepared dinner the other day.

She dared use me as a laboratory rat...

"Good boys don't abuse a Relic to pa.s.s an exam, you know?"

Towako-san laughed teasingly and flicked my forehead.

My face turned ashen.

Ashen white like a corpse.

...Incidentally, I was in for a second supplementary exam.

With the exam slated for the following week, I started looking for a solution to this case.

My teacher probably thought that a day wasn't enough; he gave me a full week of time to study. I still vividly remembered how he'd smiled with rage—sounds strange, but that's what he was like—when he approached me with my blank answer sheet in his hands. That smile was going to haunt my nightmares. I wouldn't be forgetting that face anytime soon—even without a magical notebook reminding me.

It was then that Towako-san and I made a deal: she promised to give me a page of that notebook if I solved the case.

I was absolutely not going to make the mistake of eating the note this time.

No, don't you tell me to study! I wouldn't go through the ha.s.sle of relying on a notebook to begin with if I could score without cheating.

Anyways.

Concerning the reason why Etsuko-san couldn't forget that certain memory:

In my case, I forgot about the text when I ate and digested it. Pretty obvious, now that I thought about it, since the text was erased by stomach acid after all.

She visited just yesterday. It was very unlikely that her memory had yet to have been digested at that point, as she must have eaten it at least prior to the day before yesterday.

So why was she unable to forget nonetheless?

There was only one conceivable answer.

Which is to say, she hadn't eaten that memo.

She claimed to have done so, but her word wasn't of much weight in lieu of her poor memory and her forgetful nature. Perhaps, she had confused it with some other sc.r.a.p she had eaten, or she had simply put it somewhere and had forgotten to eat it.

If I managed to locate that memo and erase it, she would be able to forget it.

Therefore, I decided to search her house.

Using the address Etsuko-san had told us, Saki and I headed to her house.

The reason for taking Saki with me was that I thought there might be spots a man should not rummage about, since Etsuko-san lived alone.

We pa.s.sed by a closed elementary school that served us as a point of orientation, and entered the residential area not far from there. It didn't take long until we found the house in question. Etsuko-san was sweeping right before the entrance.

When I greeted her, she bowed her head in reply and said, "Excuse me, but do we know each other?"

"...I'm Tokiya Kurusu."

Etsuko-san took a notepad out of the pocket of her ap.r.o.n and clapped her hands together after she had looked something up. I sneaked a peek and found out that it was some sort of memo of her schedule today.

"Welcome! I've been waiting for you."

But you forgot!

Before I could make that remark, a man left the house next door. He was about in his late twenties and gave Etsuko-san a wave when he saw her. Apparently able to memorize at least the face of her neighbor, she greeted him with a smile.

The man looked at Etsuko-san and then at us. Perhaps we seemed like curious combination to him.

"Who are they?"

Searching for an answer, Etsuko muttered, "Umm..."

She didn't know how to put it.

"We are from the Tsuk.u.modo Antique Shop. We have come to acquire items like antiques or old furniture."

At the perfect moment, Saki started her business talk. This was the pattern we often used in situations where we had to reveal ourselves. After all, we couldn't just give anyone an explanation of what Relics were.

"If you are interested as well, be welcome to get in touch with us."

"No, I do not have anything of interest for you."

While he wasn't suspicious of us, he quickly left and didn't want to have anything to do with us. After seeing that he had gone around the next corner, Etsuko-san let us in.

"Excuse the mess."

This was no empty phrase. There were indeed piles of cardboard boxes in the corridor and so forth. However, it was not like she had neglected cleaning the house.

"I haven't put everything in order yet since I moved here."

Now I got why there were cardboard boxes in the corridor and the living room. At the same time, the probability that she had left the sc.r.a.p somewhere and forgotten about it grew. Or perhaps she had lost it while she was tidying things away from her move.

"Okay, let's begin, shall we?"

Because we couldn't just tell her, "You haven't eaten the memo but left it somewhere," we told her that she might have another Relic that caused her to remember.

While she owned one, she hadn't known about Relics until she heard it from us, so she believed us quite easily.

Etsuko-san lived alone in a two-storied house. Judging from the stains on the walls and the scars in the posts, the building wasn't new. To be honest, I had no clue why she would move into such a house instead of an apartment.

After we had been led to the living room, we decided on ask a few question for starters.

"That memory is still there, right?"

"Yes."

My faint hope that she might have forgotten by now was blasted in a snap.

"Okay, then could you tell us what's been going on recently? Specifically, have you done anything special during the last week?"

"Special?"

Etsuko-san opened her laptop and looked back at her actions this week.

"You even forget things that only happened a week ago?" I asked.

"Not everything, but parts."

"By the way, what are you always writing in your computer?"

"A diary on a daily basis."

On my request, she let me take a look. There were folders for every year and month, and in there were a bunch of text files for every day.

"In the beginning, I used real diaries, but they grew so much in number that it became bothersome to carry them around. Therefore, I switched to a computer."

Judging from the file size, her diary entries were very long.

"Okay, one week ago I stood up at seven in the morning. Then I had breakfast. I had toast, fried egg and salad. I also drank some black tea..."

"...You don't have to tell us such things."

How detailed did she write her entries? Anyway, that kind of information wasn't much use to us.

"Um, did you go somewhere during this week?" I asked.

Etsuko-san navigated her computer.

"Only when I made my purchases, and perhaps to your shop for some advice."

"...Did you take the notebook Relic with you for your purchases?"

"No. A a basic rule, I don't carry it around. Only my computer and perhaps a notepad."

This eliminates the possibility that she has dropped it somewhere.

"...By the way, when did you move here?"

"Just recently. At the beginning of the month...," she said and took a look at her computer. "Yes. At the beginning of the month."

About two weeks ago... So I guess I should inquire about her move, too...

That moment, Saki posed a question.

"When did you eat the memo anyway?"

Right. I hadn't asked that question. It had slipped my mind because I was confident that she hadn't eaten it. With that information, we knew until when she had the memo, and could investigate on Etsuko-san's actions thereafter.

I was thoughtless—I wasn't in the position to talk badly about Etsuko-san.

"Um... wait a moment, please."

She started looking it up on her computer. She had opened several folders, so the search was taking some time. She had probably no idea where it was.

"By the way, you ate it after moving here, right?"

If she had eaten—or more like, torn off—the note before moving, her previous house would come into question as well. If her memo had ended up in the trash bin but still got off undamaged, then we might already be at our wits' end.

"No, before."

"In your previous house?"

That put a spoke in my wheel. To my surprise, however, Etsuko-san shook her head.

"No. I ate it here!"

"Huh? But didn't you just say you ate it before moving here?"

"Yes."

...She lost me.

"Um, but when was that anyway? You needn't look it up. Just roughly. Um, one week... no, one month ago?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Ten years ago."

According to the explanation she gave us, she had lived in this house until ten years ago, and had moved somewhere else, just to return recently.

But she had eaten that note ten years ago. In other words, when she still lived here—which was ten years from now, and with two moves in between. Of course, we had no idea where that sc.r.a.p of paper was.

We took a look around in the house just to be sure, but naturally our search remained fruitless.

"Should we set the house on fire and erase it for good?"

"Have you lost it?"

I quickly said, "Just joking!" when Saki scolded me. Although I was half-serious.

We had gone into Etsuko-san's room and were still searching for the memo.

It was a completely ordinary room with a desk, a bookshelf and a wardrobe, and a curtain atop the window. There were several post-it notes on the wardrobe that marked what was inside. She had probably developed her own tricks for her daily life. What puzzled me was that there were cardboard boxes here as well.

I asked Saki to search the bookshelf and the desk, whereas I went for the cardboard boxes. I had already gotten permission from Etsuko-san.

I unsealed one of the boxes and took an alb.u.m out of it.

Since she didn't mind if we looked, I flicked through it.

"Cute."

"We're not here to play around," I complained to Saki who was peeking at the alb.u.m over my shoulders, but still we continued looking through it.

It started off with photos of a baby, and recorded her gradual growth to a young girl. Around the time she went to elementary school, she started to resemble her current self. And at the time, she had still had her parents at both sides.

There was also a picture of her time at the hospital. She stood there with a bandage wrapped around her head and a flower bouquet in her hands. She was surrounded by a doctor and nurses. It was probably a picture of her discharge, and the only one of that time.

A few pages after, her father disappeared from the photos.

It was a couple of years after the accident. Only her mother remained at her side.

There had been no large span between the divorce and the decease of her mother; after only a few pictures, her parents were replaced by an aged man and woman on the pictures.

I suspected they were Etsuko-san's grandparents who had taken her in. They appeared on the photographs of her graduation from elementary, middle and high school, as well as her coming-of-age celebration. It seemed like a kind-hearted old couple.

I paged back to the last picture with her parents.

It was about ten years ago, when she was in elementary school.

It had immediately rang a bell with me when she told me that she had used the notebook ten years ago.

Her mother's accidental death, ten years ago.

The memory she had recorded in the Relic, ten years ago.

These two facts could not be unrelated.

The thing she wanted to forget was bound to have something to do with her mother's decease.

I had no idea what exactly she had recorded.

But I strongly doubted it was something pleasant.

There was probably more to it.

Something she couldn't tell anyone.

I had no clue what it was—no I did. But I sealed that thought away, because it was a crazy thought and absolutely not something to say carelessly.

I pushed the box with alb.u.ms aside and pulled another one to me. It was labeled at the side as "Diaries (1)".

"Do you plan on reading the diaries as well?"

"I'll just skim through them. I'll try my best not to read anything."

I did have permission, but I had no intention of violating her privacy. That said, I was ready to read sections that might contain a clue.

I took out the diaries. They were all of high quality and had a leather binding. Quite extravagant and mature for an elementary schooler to use.

The diaries had their year marked on the cover.

They started fifteen years ago, about the time she was in the first year of elementary school.

"I suppose she started after she had met with an accident," Saki commented.

No wonder the diaries were of high quality and leather-bound!

To her, the memories recorded in those diaries were an irreplaceable treasure.

At least her parents must have thought so when they bought them for her.

I opened one of the diaries and found a clumsy handwriting that didn't match the splendidly made diary. The size of the letters was as irregular as it gets, there were misspellings all over the page, and the grammar had been ignored entirely. It was well-nigh unreadable.

Nevertheless, I was sure she had read through these entries again and again when she wanted to recall old memories.

The pages were worn with frequent use, and there were places that had gotten wet and had dried up, although I didn't know whether the cause was sweat or tears.

As time went by, the entries changed into a proper writing. However, I was taken aback by all the details.

Not only did they contain the events of every day, but also what time she stood up, what she ate, which train she took, what she was doing and thinking during the day, and so forth. Therefore, the number of diaries was quite overwhelming.

Probably this also served as some sort of rehabilitation. It was hard to guess how much time she had spent every day to write those diaries.

I took another diary.

One that was written just ten years ago. The period of time she had used the Relic.

With a sting of remorse, I opened the diary.

Among other things, it contained the entry of the day of her mother's decease.

As always, it started with the time she woke up and what she had for breakfast, and contained a detailed report of her experiences at school.

However, it mentioned that she was scolded by her mother for neglecting her diary for once. Apparently, she had played together with her friends instead of going straight home.

There was a touch of irony in the fact that her mother fell from the stairs on that day of all days. Moreover, it happened when Etsuko-san was in the midst of writing her diary. The entry of that day stopped there.

I flipped the page. In the next entry she wrote about the decease of her mother at the hospital and the wake that was going to be held.

Even after that, she had continued writing her diary without skipping a day.

However, I didn't find anything she may have wanted to hide.

Well, if there was, she wouldn't have allowed me to freely look through them.

The entry that day that was broken off unfinished... how was it supposed to end?

...Or was the continuation written in the Relic?

"Why don't you take a break?" Etsuko-san startled me, standing beside me all of a sudden.

Even though I had permission, I couldn't help feeling a little awkward when I closed the diary.

"Y-You have a stunning collection of diaries there!"

"Yes. It has become so many because I kept writing them," she answered without any concerns. "So, how about it?"

"Eh? ...Ah, the break? Yes."

We accepted her proposal and put the diaries back into their cardboard box.

While at it, I was seized by misgivings.

Is it okay for us to help her erase that memory?

We didn't know what she wanted to forget.

But it couldn't be anything good.

But no matter how much she wanted to forget, what if it was a memory that was meant to be remembered?

"Um, may I ask you a question?"

"Yes?"

"...Why do you want to forget about it?"

After a moment's silence, she answered with a sad face,

"Because I want to start a new life."

While drinking a cup of coffee, we were taking a break in the living room.

As we had already been searching for a few hours, I had gotten a stiff neck. However, my doubts were fruitless. We didn't even find any hints.

The odds were against us finding a ten years old sc.r.a.p of paper.

But still, why did Etsuko-san get the wish to forget that memory now of all times?

What was the reason that a memory she had left untouched for ten years became unnecessary?

"May I ask a question?" Saki, who had been silent so far, said.

"Yes, go ahead."

"What's the relationship between you and the man we saw earlier?"

Against all my expectations, she asked something entirely unrelated.

I already prepared myself to make a remark, when suddenly Etsuko-san turned as red as a beet and cast her eyes down.

"To tell the truth, we're marrying next month."

Saki had probably guessed their relationship right away. I had not. What a sharp-eyed girl.

"Congratulations," Saki said bluntly as if she didn't know the meaning of Etsuko-san's words, but Etsuko-san gave her thanks without taking offense. "How did you get to know him?"

"He's a childhood friend, or perhaps, he was something like the boy next door? We lost contact entirely when I moved away, but he happened to frequent the shop I worked at, you know..."

I listened to her without going into the question whether she was really able to work.

"But at first, I didn't realize who he is, and because I used my father's surname when I still lived here, he didn't realize who I am, either. It stayed that way until I visited his parents to introduce myself. That was quite the surprise."

"A fateful encounter."

"Yes, indeed."

Etsuko-san was smiling, but a shadow or some sort of hesitation loomed in her expression.

"Is there a problem?" I asked thoughtlessly, suspecting she had marriage blues.

However, this time she tensed up visibly.

I regretted my own stupidity.

Hadn't I thought about it just moments ago?!

About the reason why a memory she had left untouched for ten years became unnecessary!

If she had to forget it now, there was only one reason.

The memory she wanted to forget was an obstacle to her wedding—to her happiness.

Hence, she wanted to forget it before her marriage.

Suddenly, the telephone rang, breaking the heavy silence.

Etsuko-san stood up after asking to be excused, and went to the telephone. She accepted the call after she had picked up the pen that was placed next to the phone with a notepad. She had probably formed a habit of recording her calls.

"Yes, Uwajima speaki... father..."

My full attention was directed at Etsuko-san, who was speaking and holding her breath in turn.

If my memory served me right, she did no longer keep in contact with her divorced father. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help perking up my ears.

"...How did you find out? Grandpa? I see..."

Apparently, she hadn't informed her father that she moved back here. Her grandfather had gotten in touch with him when the wedding became official.

They kept talking for a while.

The reunion of father and daughter was everything but touching. Etsuko-san didn't wish to see him again. She was rejecting any contact with him.

"...Do you remember what I said at mother's funeral? Please forget it. I will do so, too. And please keep away from me," she said one-sidedly and hung up and let out a sigh.

Her face was full of distress. However, recalling our presence, she quickly slapped on a smile.

"Did you keep in contact with your father?"

"No. This was the first time since the funeral of my mother. ...Despite everything, I recognized him by his voice. You remember such things forever, don't you?"

Etsuko-san seemed to be surprised about the fact that she had recognized her father by phone.

It had been about ten years. I felt that this was the bond between parent and child, and completely unrelated to memory and such.

"What kind of father was he?"

"He's not a bad person. He would just often get into an argument with my mother about my upbringing. He was against keeping such a diary. He wanted to bring me up like a normal child. My mother often said he was too concerned about the eyes of the neighborhood. I think so as well."

Indeed, keeping such a detailed diary was a little abnormal from a normal perspective. But as there was an accident, this couldn't be helped. But her father had apparently been unable to think so.

"Do you have a grudge against him?"

"That's not the problem. It's something entirely different. I neither hate him, nor do I bear a grudge against him. I just don't want to have anything to do with someone my mother has severed all contact with... since otherwise it's like I were betraying her. And I don't want to betray her any more."

Does keeping in touch with her father whom her mother has broken contact with equal betraying her? Or was there another reason to it?

Either way, judging from the way she talked, she wasn't down on her father or anything, but merely kept away because of her mother.

But still, I couldn't help being surprised that she remembered that sort of thing rather well.

"Oh, did I dampen the mood...? Ah, right. Please wait a moment."

Etsuko-san forcefully put on a bright face and went into another room. She returned carrying a snow-white wedding dress.

I'm not versed in wedding dresses, but the design looked somewhat old.

"My father chose this dress for my mother. Hideki-san offered to buy me a new one or rent one, but I insisted on wearing this. I want to show at least a little filial piety."

Etsuko-san held the dress in front of her.

She would have looked great in it.

"Come here, Maino-san."

Beckoned over by Etsuko-san, Saki walked hesitantly to her.

Etsuko-san turned Saki around and held the dress in front of her.

"Do you like it, Kurusu-san?" With a mischievous smile, she asked for my impressions.

Don't abuse me to brighten the mood... I can't say that I like it, now can I?

"Fine feathers make fine birds."

"I knew you'd say that."

"What? Did you want me to praise you?"

"No, not in the least."

"Don't get angry!"

"I'm not angry."

"But you are!"

"Whatever."

I heard Etsuko-san whisper into her ear, "He's just shy," when Saki turned away from me.

Please say such things hidden from me.

Saki's fashion show continued for a while until Etsuko-san was satisfied, and then she went back to the other room to stow away the dress.

Saki looked at me with an inquiring look. No, she wasn't asking for my impressions.

"I know!"

Etsuko-san had been behaving a little strange since the call from her father. The scene she had made just now had been obviously forced. Probably it was just sympathy I had, but I hoped her marriage would bring her happiness, because of the worries about her parents and her accident and its after effects were tormenting her.

I wanted to let her forget "that memory", no matter what. Saki was probably of the same mind.

Suddenly, I noticed something moving outside the window. I opened the curtain and took a look out of the window. Someone was peeking into the house from behind the wall. He quickly ducked, but it was already too late for him.

"Who are you!"

"Tokiya?"

I rushed out without even answering her.

I quickly looked in the direction the man escaped. He was just going around the corner. I hurried after him.

When I came around the same corner, I spotted him from behind.

He wasn't so far away. Without wanting to brag, I'm in good form. As I sped after him, he ran round another corner.

As we were in a residential area, there were lots of branches, but there were almost no people on the streets, so I wasn't going to lose him.

He kept fleeing desperately. But I was faster. The distance between us gradually shrunk. I reached out. Just a little more. The man turned around to take a look behind—that moment his speed dropped slightly. My hand touched him.

I took a leap at him.

With full vigor, the both of us rolled on the ground.

However, my hand didn't let go of him.

"Got you!"

I grabbed the p.r.o.ne man and turned him face-up.

"You...?"

I knew his face.

When I returned to my room to put away my wedding dress, the boxed-in diaries and an opened alb.u.m caught my eye.

They were things that meant much more to me than the wedding dress.

The precious diaries mother had bought for me.

The precious picture of me and my mother.

Out of worry about me and my defective memory, she had bought countless diaries for me. She had taken countless photographs of me for the alb.u.m. Not only on our vacation, but also when there was an event at school or even on normal days.

Thanks to her, I was able to keep a lot of my recollections.

If it hadn't been for my mother, and if I hadn't continued doing as she had told me, I would have been empty like a blank sheet by now.

But I was going to betray her.

I was going to betray my mother who had wished for my happiness more than anyone else.

"Forgive me... Mom..."

I embraced the diary. I couldn't suppress my tears.

"Forgive me... Mom, but I will throw that memory away and become happy."

Even now I still hesitated to erase that memory.

But a word from my mother had brought me to that decision.

"I don't need anything if you attain happiness!"

These were words she had left behind for me the day before she pa.s.sed away.

She hadn't foreseen her death, but these words became something like her last will by chance.

And her will lived on in my heart.

Therefore, I was going to betray her.

I was able to protect her last will,