Torn: Crushed Part 14

Not wanting to ruin the amazing vibe this evening, I went back to feasting with my eyes before I strolled towards the table, ready to taste tonight's dinner.

"How in the world did you manage to get all of this done when you practically haven't let my side all afternoon?" I wondered out loud, still beaming like an idiot.

Striding towards me, he matched my idiotic grin. "Cooper had to help me out, or this wouldn't have come as a surprise." He pulled a chair out for me.

Once I was happily seated, he then sat opposite from me.

"Really? That's sweet of him." Still beaming from the rush of his sweet surprise, I couldn't help feeling the b.u.t.terflies somersault in my stomach, reminding me how helplessly in love I was with the man.

"Not really. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d kept teasing me until it drove me nuts. Other than that, I was grateful he was willing to lend a hand."

After pouring us both a gla.s.s of wine, he plucked his off the table then raised it. "Here's to us. May we have the most extraordinary s.e.x affair that will rival no man, and you'll forever be mine. Amen."

I had to take a moment, blinking as I stared back at him, not sure if I should drink or throw the wine in his face. Why did he have to make tacky references about our situation? We had an agreement, and I didn't want that to be slapped on me whenever possible. Instead of choosing the latter, I opted to compose myself before making a tight smile.

"Let's eat, shall we?" I said.

My apparent rebuke of his toast didn't even faze him, though.

"Let's, because I can't wait until it's time for dessert and all that comes with it once I have you happily sated underneath me," he stated with a disarming grin that indicated what he had in store for me once all of this sweetness was over and done with.

He sure did know how to keep me interested and wanting. I knew what I was up against when it came to him, but with myself, I wasn't so sure or secure. Sometimes, the battle I had with myself was pointless. After all, in the end, I would give in to one or two of these urges.

An addiction could be cured with another addiction. And that was the d.a.m.n truth.

Chapter Twenty-Five.

For the duration of our arrangement, I feared he would eventually resort to pushing the issue about prolonging this impulsive arrangement between us, but thankfully, he had been quite amazing at sticking to our plan. It was just the two of us, living each day without the thought of tomorrow. He even ditched partying with his friends, and if he did mingle downstairs with Cooper and the usual party crew, he would always have me somewhere close by. He didn't want to be too obvious to everyone, because I had warned him that it was between us and Cooper, and as much as possible, I would rather pretend nothing was going on between us once there were people around us. He didn't argue, and I was thankful for that.

One thing I noted with Brody was how he easily he would give me what I wanted just so we didn't have to keep arguing about something he found irrelevant. It was as though he needed to keep me happy at all times.

It was bittersweet to think that was the kind of relationship I had always yearned for with him, yet I knew I had to let this dream go in a few days, because we weren't living in the real world. No, in the real world, there lived a girl named Lindsey, and though he hadn't spoken about her, she had been persistent in my mind.

The best part of sleeping next to him on a nightly basis was the amazing feeling of waking up with him holding me close before he would slowly have his wicked way with me. He would go from rough to slow to intense, all in a span of a minute, and I loved every second of it. He was a lovemaking machine, and I could not utter the word no when he was doing his tongue thing while his c.o.c.k was busy rubbing and tickling my nether region.

My v.a.g.i.n.a was a testament to itself. It was always so d.a.m.n conveniently wet and ready for him whenever he felt like ravishing me. It didn't even need enticing, sadly. One look from him-the one with a glimmering wickedness to it-and my p.u.s.s.y would start doing what G.o.d created it for, which was the sole purpose of being Brody's little minx.

As the time closed in on us, my heart felt it. On our last night, I felt as though he was packed with emotions that he couldn't put to words, as if he was so overwhelmed with everything he could only convey his thoughts through his actions, starting by ceaselessly kissing me.

We were in bed, surrounded by darkness, while the other side of the room was cast in light from the moon, a perfect backdrop to the perfect end to our relationship, like any short, summer fling.

Our naked bodies were entangled as we kissed, and I felt his heart heavily thud against my palm as my body languished from what would come afterwards. Tomorrow. I knew I had made a decision, and I would never get to have him this way. The only time I could was right then ... in that instant.

Silently saying goodbye to someone I had loved all my life felt like death. I could taste it on my tongue, seeping way deep into my bones, into my heart, leaving a hollowed sensation that hadn't been there before.

Knowing what tomorrow would bring, I vowed to consume him as much as I could until I was out of breath, pa.s.sed out from too much consumption of memories, of his lovemaking, of his kisses.

"Make love to me..." I whispered, begging against his lips. "Touch me as if you're in love with me, please ... Just for tonight, I need you to pretend you do." It was the lowest I had ever been in my life, yet I didn't feel a drop of embarra.s.sment from the request. If choosing to let go of him and my love for him was death, then I would rather have it with the sweetest memories of him, of tonight, to keep me warm on the nights that would test me the most. The nights where I would cry myself to sleep thinking of him as I willed myself to believe I was doing the right thing, that moving on was the best thing I could ever do for myself.

My wish was granted with him saying my name in a way that was loaded with emotion, throaty with words left unsaid, yet I knew he was going to give me everything I asked of him tonight-even borrowing his heart.

It brought me to tears due to immense sadness and joy.

This was our last night, our last goodbye.

~A~.

Trista was arriving sometime in the afternoon, so I decided it was best to leave sometime before noon because I had to do a week's worth of laundry and other errands, like filling the fridge with groceries.

Brody was fast asleep when I decided to get up and get ready. Since I had packed most of my belongings the night prior, I had little else to do but leave.

For a moment, I contemplated if I was doing the right thing or if I should even wake him up to say goodbye, but then I stopped myself. It seemed like a silly notion, knowing I lived only five minutes from him. Instead, I opted in giving him a slight kiss on the back of his neck, enough to content my conscience without having to wake him. I supposed it was easier with him asleep. After all, had he been awake, I would have probably resorted to tears, and quite frankly, I didn't want to shed any more of those suckers. I'd had enough of those from the past week to last me a lifetime.

Upon arriving home, I didn't have much time to dwell on my feelings, and for that small blessing, I was grateful.

Since it was her first day back and I had no doubt Taylor was going to come and sleepover, I decided to order in for dinner.

The food barely arrived before Trista and Taylor came through the door. However, the usual sunny, annoying personality that I was so accustomed to seeing was lost on Trista's rather sullen face.

"Welcome home?" I frowned as I strolled towards her before giving her a tight hug. Something was up with her, and I wondered what it was.

"Hey, boo. I know I look like c.r.a.p, and I seriously feel it, too. Would you two mind if I leave you guys for a quick shower? I feel icky."

She did looked way past exhausted. The jet lag was catching up to her.

"Yeah, go on ahead. I ordered Chinese for dinner."

"Do you need me to come up with you?" Taylor asked her, but she instantly declined, looking as if it pained her to even smile at him.

Okay. She was acting weird.

Both Taylor and I watched her go. Once she was out of sight, we both quietly went into the kitchen where he then proceeded to sit behind the counter while I took the takeout boxes out of the bag.

"Did you two fight?" Raising my brow at him, I noted his casual shrug.

"No, not that I'm aware of." Though he stated that, it was rather obvious he wasn't confident in his answer and just as confused as I was by Trista's odd behavior. It was so unlike her.

I would have probably known what was going on with her had I not been busy with Brody and his rather remarkable traits and anatomy, and I was now regretting my decision to stay with him. I mean, how many missed calls and text messages had I ignored because I was too "busy" getting it on?

After I had texted her that I had moved into Carter's home, I had practically stopped communicating with her, with Emma, too.

This odd behavior of mine wasn't uncommon. My mercurial personality was one of the hated ones which they liked to point out, but I couldn't help it; I simply had days where I couldn't deal with anyone. My emotional capacity couldn't handle an emotional overload, so it was my method of dealing with things without going bonkers. If the heat got too much after that... Well, I had ways to sort that out, which was one of the main reasons I had always gotten in trouble in the past with drugs. Of course, after this time with Rob, I sure as h.e.l.l wouldn't be touching any illegal narcotics, guaranteed.

Since we didn't know what was going on with her, I knew I had to deviate from Trista to a different subject, something neutral.

"How's it going, Tay-Tay?" I asked him as I sat next to him, my eyes openly admiring his longer hair. I didn't know why there was always something compelling about men with confidence and s.e.xy, long, rugged hair. I didn't want to say it out loud, but it was such a vast contrast to Trista's rotten Harry who was a poor excuse for a human being. Good riddance.

Taylor, just like Ba.s.s Cole his best bud, was pretty laid back, though they always gave off that endearing yet hot, s.e.xy swag. I wasn't sure if it was due to them being schooled in Europe, but it was very interesting indeed.

"Not much on my end, really, just school and whatnot. Quite frankly, it's nice to have Trista back stateside. As crazy as she is, she's the reason I'm sane," he replied.

I admired that trait about him, that he didn't have a filter. He didn't hold back when it came to Trista and how much he adored her, no matter how annoying she could be when she didn't know how to shut her mouth. I supposed that was when you knew it was true love-when a man could love you amidst it all. What more could a girl want?

"I'm glad she's back, too. It's good to have someone to b.i.t.c.h to about something, you know? We're both selfish, aren't we?" I beamed at him, slightly laughing at ourselves just as Trista strolled into the kitchen with her wet hair tied into a tight bun atop her head.

"I feel like s.h.i.t," she declared, giving us a look that shut us both up from our laughter. "But more importantly, I feel like s.h.i.t because some guy kissed me on my last night in Athens, and I didn't tell you about it." Her sorrow-filled face was now openly directed to Taylor who seemed composed yet speechless about what his girlfriend had just confessed out of nowhere.

Okay, I thought to myself as I watched this episode play before me. I wasn't sure if Taylor was about to combust in anger or if Trista was going to burst into waterworks; however, I felt flighty while, at the same time, my stems were frozen on the spot.

"What else happened, Trista?" Taylor used a cautious tone, though it took a lot out of him to say the words aloud.

My head said this should be discussed between the two of them, without me watching the drama play out, while my mouth watered at the smell of Mongolian Beef that had been wafting it's aroma from the moment the cute delivery boy had dropped it off. In the end, biting the bottom of my lip, I mumbled an excuse about needing to dash to Carter's house, but I didn't think the two even heard me or noticed that I exited the kitchen.

Once out of the house, I took a deep breath before grasping my phone just as my legs directed me towards my destination-back into Brody's arms.

Maybe for another night...

Sighing, I wasn't sure what to think of the scene I had witnessed back there. Whatever Trista had done, I knew they could overcome it. I mean, those two adored each other, and it wasn't like it was premeditated or intentional. Knowing Trista, she'd probably had a little too much to drink before some cute guy decided to kiss her, tongue and all. There was nothing to worry about, really. Those two were solid; I was sure of it.

About a couple of minutes into my trek towards Brody's place, I was taken aback when I saw him leaning against the side of the entrance door to the house, animatedly talking to Joanna with no one else around.

I stopped, taking in their interaction together, all the while feeling as though he was stabbing me with each word he spoke to her, with the smile he granted her.

Numb inside, I had nothing else to do but retrace my steps back home before I found myself sitting on the steps in the front of the house, wondering what I had done by leaving him without a word this morning.

It was typical Brody move, though, wasn't it? Move on to the next chick as if nothing happened the night before, as if he hadn't f.u.c.king showed me the world last night.

Thank f.u.c.k I didn't buy into his s.h.i.t.

That's right, thank f.u.c.k.

Chapter Twenty-Six.

The next day was a dull affair with Trista only making it out of her bed to drink and nibble on whatever her hands could grab before heading back to sleep. I wasn't sure if it was due to jet lag or if she was trying to avoid me, or anyone for that matter. She probably was going through a lot from her fight with Taylor the night before. However, I persistently made sure she knew I was there if she needed someone to vent to.

With Trista out of commission on her first day back in town, I had to attempt to fill my day with menial things just so I didn't reach out to my phone and send Brody a rant of a text.

After last night, I was overwhelmed by my reaction and the emotions that came with it. Sitting outside the house as I calmed myself down was ... Well, it was aggravating. It took about an hour before I had finally had my fill of staring idly at the cement on our walkway then decided to go inside and head towards the bedroom. Given the silent state the house was in last night, I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign.

They were still in the kitchen when I came back, so when I woke up with no Taylor and no sign of Taylor's car anywhere, I knew he was royally p.i.s.sed. I mean, he was the type of a guy that was possessive and all, but he didn't need to be dramatic and leave Trista sulking.

I had tried to entice her to get out of the room, talk to me even, but she wasn't budging. Instead, I decided to let her be; as a result, when Cooper called for some barbeque party they were having, I sort of felt I needed to go there just to show Brody that I was fine with everything. Because I was, wasn't I?

After witnessing him flirting with Joanna outside his house, there wasn't much to be said, really.

It didn't take me long to get ready. Barbeque parties, to me, didn't need cakey full-on makeup or any of that full volume hair. For shindigs like these, I liked to be simple. I thought the main thing was to have healthy looking skin during the summer months, so scrubbing and buffering with a good, dry oil applied on a lovely tan afterward was more quintessential than looking glammed up.

I was about to stroll out of the door when Trista's sleepy voice stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

Swiftly, I spun around, smiling at the fact that she had taken the effort to pull herself out of her miserable bed. "Cooper's having a barbeque. Wanna come with?" I wasn't sure if she was up to being around people, yet it couldn't hurt to ask. Maybe being out with old, familiar faces might cheer her up.

She blinked once, twice then finally made a small nod. "Mm'kay. Give me ten minutes to get ready."

Twenty minutes later, we were out of the door and on our way to the barbeque.

The short walk was fraught with silence. I could feel her deep thoughts and probably her guilt more so. Knowing how awful she felt, I reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze before letting it go. I didn't have to relay in words that I would always be there for her, no matter what.

Arriving at the guys' place with Trista was somehow bittersweet. I had so many memories with Brody here, and now I must pretend that none of that mattered any longer. It was my decision, and I intended to stick to it.

I missed him with every beat of my heart, though. He was imbedded so deeply into my DNA it was hard to live, breathe, and think without him in mind. However, I had made up my mind about him, us, and I had to persevere, or I wouldn't know what life was without him.

Once we got to the boys' pad, Brody and Cooper were there to greet us. Surprisingly enough, there weren't many people there. The get together only consisted of seven people, which was an unusual head count for their parties.

Everyone hung out on the patio where the grill was full of burgers, hotdogs, and steaks. Unlike most folks, I liked my steak well done with little charred marks on both sides. Once ready, everyone gathered around the table as we munched on salad, corn on the cob, and corn bread as sides to the meats.

Of course, I sat opposite of where Brody was sitting, silently sipping on his corona. Though we didn't speak to one another, apart from the small nod we had earlier on my arrival, I could feel his eyes on me most of the time. It was like he was trying to catch my attention, but I hadn't given in and glanced over to where he was located yet.

I was pretty much happy munching on my food, feeling invincible, because everyone except Brody, of course, was asking Trista about her trip and Lindsey's wedding in Greece. These people were Lindsey's friends, as well, so it was pretty normal for them to be curious. Trista, who was relieved to be out of the house, seemed whimsical upon describing our friend walking down the aisle for the second time.

My happy, invincible time munching, however, came to a halt when Russo, a guy who was part of the school's soccer team, directed his attention on me.

"Are you dating anyone? Anyone I know?" He was obviously teasing, possibly baiting me to say someone's name in particular, but I wasn't buying it.

"Here and there..." I nonchalantly responded with a shrug. "No one in particular, really."

Much to my dismay, Trista decided to chime in with her two cents. "She's secretive about her boys, though I imagine she has tons 'cause her phone won't ever stop beeping with invites."

Well, thank you, Trista. What a dear friend you are.

"She's probably like Carter's main squeeze, or are you? You never update me on anything."

If there was a time that I wanted her to gladly shut the f.u.c.k up, this was it. But my glaring and darting, evil eyes didn't divert her attention. Therefore, stuck with the question everyone at the table was awaiting my answer on with an awkward silence, I knew I had to say something.

"Maybe I'll tell you later when there's not an audience around." I wasn't necessarily playing coy, but what the h.e.l.l? I didn't want people here to know my business during dinner. It wasn't my style. Then I had the genius idea of diverting the question back to her, the lady of the minute. "And you know, while we're on that subject, maybe you'd like to update me on your love life."