Tongues of Conscience - novelonlinefull.com
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Father Murchison jumped. Such a question coming from such a man astounded him.
"Bless me!" he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed. "What makes you ask? Do you mean attractive to the opposite s.e.x?"
"That's what I don't know," said the Professor gloomily, and staring again into the fire. "That's what I don't know."
The Father grew more astonished.
"Don't know!" he exclaimed.
And he laid down his pipe.
"Let's say--d'you think I'm attractive, that there's anything about me which might draw a--a human being, or an animal, irresistibly to me?"
"Whether you desired it or not?"
"Exactly--or--no, let us say definitely--if I did not desire it."
Father Murchison pursed up his rather full, cherubic lips, and little wrinkles appeared about the corners of his blue eyes.
"There might be, of course," he said, after a pause. "Human nature is weak, engagingly weak, Guildea. And you're inclined to flout it. I could understand a certain cla.s.s of lady--the lion-hunting, the intellectual lady, seeking you. Your reputation, your great name----"
"Yes, yes," Guildea interrupted, rather irritably--"I know all that, I know."
He twisted his long hands together, bending the palms outwards till his thin, pointed fingers cracked. His forehead was wrinkled in a frown.
"I imagine," he said,--he stopped and coughed drily, almost shrilly--"I imagine it would be very disagreeable to be liked, to be run after--that is the usual expression, isn't it--by anything one objected to."
And now he half turned in his chair, crossed his legs one over the other, and looked at his guest with an unusual, almost piercing interrogation.
"Anything?" said the Father.
"Well--well, anyone. I imagine nothing could be more unpleasant."
"To you--no," answered the Father. "But--forgive me, Guildea, I cannot conceive you permitting such intrusion. You don't encourage adoration."
Guildea nodded his head gloomily.
"I don't," he said, "I don't. That's just it. That's the curious part of it, that I----"
He broke off deliberately, got up and stretched.
"I'll have a pipe, too," he said.
He went over to the mantelpiece, got his pipe, filled it and lighted it.
As he held the match to the tobacco, bending forward with an enquiring expression, his eyes fell upon the green baize that covered Napoleon's cage. He threw the match into the grate, and puffed at the pipe as he walked forward to the cage. When he reached it he put out his hand, took hold of the baize and began to pull it away. Then suddenly he pushed it back over the cage.
"No," he said, as if to himself, "no."
He returned rather hastily to the fire and threw himself once more into his armchair.
"You're wondering," he said to Father Murchison. "So am I. I don't know at all what to make of it. I'll just tell you the facts and you must tell me what you think of them. The night before last, after a day of hard work--but no harder than usual--I went to the front door to get a breath of air. You know I often do that."
"Yes, I found you on the doorstep when I first came here."
"Just so. I didn't put on hat or coat. I just stood on the step as I was. My mind, I remember, was still full of my work. It was rather a dark night, not very dark. The hour was about eleven, or a quarter past.
I was staring at the Park, and presently I found that my eyes were directed towards somebody who was sitting, back to me, on one of the benches. I saw the person--if it was a person,--through the railings."
"If it was a person!" said the Father. "What do you mean by that?"
"Wait a minute. I say that because it was too dark for me to know. I merely saw some blackish object on the bench, rising into view above the level of the back of the seat. I couldn't say it was man, woman or child. But something there was, and I found that I was looking at it."
"I understand."
"Gradually, I also found that my thoughts were becoming fixed upon this thing or person. I began to wonder, first, what it was doing there; next, what it was thinking; lastly, what it was like."
"Some poor creature without a home, I suppose," said the Father.
"I said that to myself. Still, I was taken with an extraordinary interest about this object, so great an interest that I got my hat and crossed the road to go into the Park. As you know, there's an entrance almost opposite to my house. Well, Murchison, I crossed the road, pa.s.sed through the gate in the railings, went up to the seat, and found that there was--nothing on it."
"Were you looking at it as you walked?"
"Part of the time. But I removed my eyes from it just as I pa.s.sed through the gate, because there was a row going on a little way off, and I turned for an instant in that direction. When I saw that the seat was vacant I was seized by a most absurd sensation of disappointment, almost of anger. I stopped and looked about me to see if anything was moving away, but I could see nothing. It was a cold night and misty, and there were few people about. Feeling, as I say, foolishly and unnaturally disappointed, I retraced my steps to this house. When I got here I discovered that during my short absence I had left the hall door open--half open."
"Rather imprudent in London."
"Yes. I had no idea, of course, that I had done so, till I got back.
However, I was only away three minutes or so."
"Yes."
"It was not likely that anybody had gone in."
"I suppose not."
"Was it?"
"Why do you ask me that, Guildea?"
"Well, well!"
"Besides, if anybody had gone in on your return you'd have caught him, surely."
Guildea coughed again. The Father, surprised, could not fail to recognise that he was nervous and that his nervousness was affecting him physically.
"I must have caught cold that night," he said, as if he had read his friend's thought and hastened to contradict it. Then he went on:
"I entered the hall, or pa.s.sage, rather."