Tom Cringle's Log Part 58

"Why," said Aaron, "the pit of the stomach is not a very genteel department, nor the abdomen neither."

"Why," said Wagtail, "I have no blister on either of those places, but if it were possible to dream of such a thing, I would say it had been clapped on...."

Here his innate propriety tongue-tied him.

"Eh?" said Aaron; "what--has the caustico that was intended for the frontiers of Belgium been clapped by mistake on the broad Pays Bas?"

And so in very truth it turned out; for while we slept, the patient had risen, and sat down on the blister that lay, as already mentioned, on a chair at his bedside, and again toppling into bed, had fallen into a sound sleep, from which he had but a few moments before the time I write of awoke.

"Why, now," continued Aaron, to the doctor of the Wave who had just entered--"why, here is a discovery, my dear doctor. You clap a hot blister on a poor fellow's head to cool it, but Doctor Cringle there has cooled Master Wagtail's brain, by blistering his stern--eh?--Make notes, and mind you report this to the College of Surgeons."

I cleared myself of these imputations. Wagtail recovered; our refitting was completed; our wood, and water, and provisions, replenished; and, after spending one of the happiest fortnights of my life, in one continued round of gaiety, I prepared to leave--with tears in my eyes, I will confess--the clear waters, bright blue skies, glorious climate, and warm hearted community of Na.s.sau, New Providence. Well might that old villain Blackbeard have made this sweet spot his favourite rendezvous.

By the way, this same John Teach or Blackbeard, had fourteen wives in the lovely island; and I am not sure but I could have picked out something approximating to the aforesaid number myself, with time and opportunity, from among such a galaxy of loveliness as then shone and sparkled in this dear little town. Speaking of the pirate Blackbeard, I ought to have related that one morning when I was at breakfast at Mrs C----'s, the amiable, and beautiful, and innocent girl matron ay, you supercilious son of a sea-cook, you may turn up your nose at the expression, but if you could have seen the burden of my song as I saw her, and felt the elegancies of her manner and conversation as I felt them--but let us stick to Blackbeard, if you please. We were all comfortably seated at breakfast; I had finished my sixth egg, had concealed a beautiful dried snapper, before which even a rizzard haddock sank into insignificance, and was bethinking me of finishing off with a slice of Scotch mutton-ham, when in slid Mr Bang. He was received with all possible cordiality, and commenced operations very vigorously.

He was an amazing favourite of our hostess, (as where was he not a favourite?) so that it was some time before he even looked my way. We were in the midst of a discussion regarding the beauty of New Providence, and the West India Islands in general; and I was remarking that nature had been liberal, that the scenery was unquestionably magnificent in the larger islands, and beautiful in the smaller; but there were none of those heart-stirring reminiscences, none of those thrilling electrical a.s.sociations, which vibrate to the heart at visiting scenes in Europe famous in antiquity--famous as the spot in which recent victories had been achieved--famous even for the very freebooters, who once held unlawful sway in the neighbourhood. "Why, there never has flourished hereabouts, for instance, even one thoroughly melodramatic thief." Ma.s.sa Aaron let me go on, until he had nearly finished his breakfast. At length he fired a shot at me.

"I say, Tom, you are expatiating, I see. Nothing heart stirring, say you? In new countries it would bother you to have old a.s.sociations certainly; and you have had your Rob Roy, I grant you, and the old country has had her Robin Hood. But has not Jamaica had her Three fingered Jack? Ay, a more gentlemanlike scoundrel than either of the former. When did jack refuse a piece of yam, and a cordial from his horn, to the wayworn man, white or black? When did he injure a woman?

When did Jack refuse food and a draught of cold water, the greatest boon, in our ardent climate, that he could offer, to a wearied child?

Oh, there was much poetry in the poor fellow! And here, had they not that most melodramatic (as you choose to word it) of thieves, Blackbeard, before whom Bluebeard must for ever hide his diminished head? Why, Bluebeard had only one wife at a time, although he murdered five of them, whereas Blackbeard had seldom fewer than a dozen, and he was never known to murder above three. But I have fallen in with such a treasure! Oh, such a discovery! I have been communing with Noah himself with an old negro, who remembers this very Blackbeard--the pirate Blackbeard."

"The deuce," said I; "impossible!"

"But it is true. Why it is only ninety-four years ago since the scoundrel flourished, and this old c.o.c.k is one hundred and ten. I have jotted it down--worth a hundred pounds. Read, my adorable Mrs C----, read."

"But, my dear Mr Bang," said she, "had you not better read it yourself?"

"You, if you please," quoth Aaron, who forthwith set himself to make the best use of his time.

MEMOIR OF JOHN TEACH, ESQUIRE VULGARLY CALLED BLACKBEARD.

BY AARON BANGS, ESQUIRE, F.R.S.

"He was the mildest mannered man.

That ever scuttled ship, or cut a throat; With such true breeding of a gentleman, You never could discern his real thought.

Pity he loved adventurous life's variety, He was so great a loss to good society."

John Teach, or Blackbeard, was a very eminent man--a very handsome man, and a very devil amongst the ladies.

He was a Welshman, and introduced the leek into Na.s.sau about the year 1718, and was a very remarkable personage, although, from some singular imperfection in his moral const.i.tution, he never could distinguish clearly between meum and tuum.

He found his patrimony was not sufficient to support him; and as he disliked agricultural pursuits as much as mercantile, he got together forty or fifty fine young men one day, and borrowed a vessel from some merchants that was lying at the Nore, and set sail for the Bahamas. On his way he fell in with several West Indiamen, and, sending a boat on board of each, he asked them for the loan of provisions and wine, and all their gold, and silver, and clothes, which request was in every instance but one civilly acceded to; whereupon, drinking their good healths, he returned to his ship. In the instance where he had been uncivilly treated, to show his forbearance, he saluted them with twenty one guns; but by some accident the shot had not been withdrawn, so that unfortunately the contumacious ill bred craft sank, and as Blackbeard's own vessel was very crowded, he was unable to save any of the crew. He was a great admirer of fine air, and accordingly established himself on the island of New Providence, and invited a number of elegant young men, who were fond of pleasure cruises, to visit him, so that presently he found it necessary to launch forth in order to borrow more provisions.

At this period he was a great dandy; and amongst other vagaries, he allowed his beard to grow a foot long at the shortest, and then plaited it into three strands, indicating that he was a bashaw of no common dimensions. He wore red breeches, but no stockings, and sandals of bullock's hide. He was a perfect Egyptian in his curiousness in fine linen, and his shirt was always white as the driven snow when it was clean, which was the first Sunday of every month. In waistcoats he was especially select; but the cut of them very much depended on the fashion in favour with the last gentleman he had borrowed from. He never wore any thing but a full dress purple velvet coat, under which bristled three brace of pistols, and two naked stilettoes, only eighteen inches long, and he had generally a lighted match fizzing in the bow of his c.o.c.ked sc.r.a.per whereat he lighted his pipe, or fired off a cannon, as pleased him.

One of his favourite amus.e.m.e.nts, when he got half slewed, was to adjourn to the hold with his compotators, and kindling some brimstone matches, to dance and roar, as if he had been the devil himself, until his allies were nearly suffocated. At another time he would blow out the candles in the cabin, and blaze away with his loaded pistols at random, right and left, whereby he severely wounded the feelings of some of his intimates by the poignancy of his wit, all of which he considered a most excellent joke. But he was kind to his fourteen wives so long as he was sober, as it is known that he never murdered above three of them. His borrowing, however, gave offence to our government, no one can tell how; and at length two of our frigates, the Lime and Pearl, then cruising off the American coast, after driving him from his, stronghold, hunted him down in an inlet in North Carolina, where, in an eight-gun schooner, with thirty desperate fellows, he made a defence worthy of his honourable life, and fought so furiously that he killed and wounded more men of the attacking party than his own crew consisted of; and following up his success, he boarded, sword in hand, the headmost of the two armed sloops, which had been detached by the frigates, with ninety men on board, to capture him; and being followed by twelve men and his trusty lieutenant, he would have carried her out and out, maugre the disparity of force, had he not fainted from loss of blood, when, falling on his back, he died where he fell, like a hero--"His face to the sky, and his feet to the foe" leaving eleven forlorn widows, being the fourteen wives, minus the three that he had throttled.

"NO CHIVALROUS a.s.sOCIATIONS indeed! Match me such a character as this."

We all applauded to the echo. But I must end my song, for I should never tire in dwelling on the happy days we spent in this most enchanting little island. The lovely blithe girls, and the hospitable kind hearted men, and the children! I never saw such cherubs, with all the sprightliness of the little pale-faced creoles of the West Indies, while the healthy bloom of Old England blossomed on their cheeks.

"I say, Tom," said Ma.s.sa Aaron, on one occasion when I was rather tedious on the subject, "all those little cherubs, as you call them, at least the most of them, are the offspring of the cotton bales captured in the American war."

"The what?" said I.

"The children of the American war--and I will prove it thus taking the time from no less an authority than Hamlet, when he chose to follow the great Dictator, Julius Caesar himself, through all the corruption of our physical nature, until he found him stopping a beer barrel--(only imagine the froth of one of our disinterested friend Buxton's beer barrels, savouring of qua.s.sia, not hop, fizzing through the clay of Julius Caesar the Roman!)--as thus: If there had been no Yankee war, there would have been no prize cargoes of cotton sent into Na.s.sau; if there had been no prize cargoes sent into Na.s.sau, there would have been little money made; if there had been little money made, there would have been fewer marriages; if there had been fewer marriages, there would have been fewer cherubs. There is logic for you, my darling."

"Your last is a non sequitur, my dear sir," said I, laughing. "But, in the main, Parson Malthus is right, out of Ireland that is, after all."

That evening I got into a small sc.r.a.pe, by impressing three apprentices out of a Scotch brig, and if Mr Bang had not stood my friend, I might have, got into serious trouble. Thanks to him, the affair was soldered.

When on the eve of sailing, my excellent friends, Messrs Bang, Gelid, and Wagtail, determined, in consequence of letters which they had received from Jamaica, to return home in a beautiful armed brig that was to sail in a few days, laden with flour. I cannot well describe how much this moved me. Young and enthusiastic as I was, I had grappled myself with hooks of steel to Mr Bang; and now, when he unexpectedly communicated his intention of leaving me, I felt more forlorn and deserted than I was willing to plead to.

"My dear boy," said he, "make my peace with Transom. If urgent business had not pressed me, I would not have broken my promise to rejoin him; but I am imperiously called for in Jamaica, where I hope soon to see you." He continued, with a slight tremor in his voice, which thrilled to my heart, as it vouched for the strength of his regard,--"If ever I am where you may come, Tom, and you don't make my house your home, provided you have not a better of your own, I will never forgive you." He paused.

"You young fellows sometimes spend faster than you should do, and quarterly bills are long of coming round. I have drawn for more money than I want. I wish you would--let me be your banker for a hundred pounds, Tom."

I squeezed his hand. "No, no--many, many thanks, my dear sir but I never outrun the constable. Goodbye, G.o.d bless you. Farewell, Mr Wagtail--Mr Gelid, adieu." I tumbled into the boat and pulled on board.

The first thing I did was to send the wine and sea stock, a most exuberant a.s.sortment unquestionably, belonging to my Jamaica friends, ash.o.r.e; but, to my surprise, the boat was sent back, with Mr Bang's card, on which was written in pencil, "Don't affront us, Captain Cringle." Thereupon I got the schooner under weigh, and no event worth narrating turned up until we anch.o.r.ed close to the post office at Crooked Island, two days after.

We found the Firebrand there, and the post-office mail-boat, with her red flag and white horse in it, and I went on board the corvette to deliver my official letter, detailing the incidents of the cruise, and was most graciously received by my captain.

There was a sail in sight when we anch.o.r.ed, which at first we took for the Jamaica packet; but it turned out to be the Tinker, friend Bang's flour-loaded brig; and by five in the evening our friends were all three once more restored to us, but, alas! so far as regarded two of them, only for a moment. Messrs Gelid and Wagtail had, on second thoughts, it seems, hauled their wind to lay in a stock of turtle at Crooked Island, and I went ash.o.r.e with them, and a.s.sisted in the selection from the turtle crawls filled with beautiful clear water, and lots of fine lively fresh-caught fish, the postmaster being the turtle merchant.

"I say, Paul, happier in the fish way here than you were at Biggleswade eh?" said Aaron.

After we had completed our purchases, our friends went on board the corvette, and I was invited to meet them at dinner, where the aforesaid postmaster, a stout conch, with a square-cut coatee and red cape and cuffs, was also a guest.

He must have had but a dull time of it, as there were no other white inhabitants that I saw, on the island besides himself; his wife having gone to Na.s.sau, which he looked on as the prime city of the world, to be confined, as he told us. Bang said, that she must rather have gone to be delivered from confinement; and, in truth, Crooked Island was a most desolate domicile for a lady; our friend the postmaster's family, and a few negroes employed in catching turtle, and making salt, and dressing some scrubby cotton-trees, composing the whole population. In the evening the packet did arrive, however, and Captain Transom received his orders.

"Captain Transom, my boy," quoth Bang towards nightfall, "the best of friends must part--we must move--good--night--we shall be off presently good--by"--and he held out his hand.

"Devil a bit," said Transom; "Bang, you shall not go, neither you nor your friends. You promised, in fact shipped with me for the cruise, and Lady----has my word and honour that you shall be restored to her longing eye, sound and safe--so you must all remain, and send down the flour brig to say you are coming."

To make a long story short, Ma.s.sa Aaron was boned, but his friends were obdurate, so we all weighed that night; the Tinker bearing up for Jamaica, while we kept by the wind, steering for Conaives in St Domingo.

The third day we were off Cape St Nicholas, and getting a slant of wind from the westward, we ran up the Bight of Leogane all that night, but towards morning it fell calm; we were close in under the highland, about two miles from the sh.o.r.e, and the night was the darkest I ever was out in anywhere. There were neither moon nor stars to be seen, and the dark clouds settled down, until they appeared to rest upon our mastheads, compressing, as it were, the hot steamy air upon us until it became too dense for breathing. In the early part of the night it had rained in heavy showers now and then, and there were one or two faint flashes of lightning, and some heavy peals of thunder, which rolled amongst the distant hills in loud shaking reverberations, which gradually became fainter and fainter, until they grumbled away in the distance in hoa.r.s.e murmurs, like the low notes of an organ in one of our old cathedrals; but now there was neither rain nor wind--all nature seemed fearfully hushed; for where we lay, in the smooth bight, there was no swell, not even a ripple on the gla.s.slike sea; the sound of the shifting of a handspike, or the tread of the men, as they ran to haul on--a rope, or the creaking of the rudder, sounded loud and distinct. The sea in our neighbourhood was strongly phosph.o.r.escent, so that the smallest chip thrown overboard struck fire from the water, as if it had been a piece of iron cast on flint; and when you looked over the quarter, as I delight to do, and tried to penetrate into the dark clear profound beneath, you every now and then saw a burst of pale light, like a halo, far down in the depths of the green sea, caused by the motion of some fish, or of what Jack, no great natural philosopher, usually calls blubbers; and when the dolphin or skip-jack leapt into the air, they sparkled out from the still bosom of the deep dark water like rockets, until they fell again into their element in a flash of fire. This evening the corvette had showed no lights, and although I conjectured she was not far from us, still I could not with any certainty indicate her whereabouts. It might now have been about three o'clock, and I was standing on the aftermost gun on the starboard side, peering into the impervious darkness over the tafferel, with my dear old dog Sneezer by my side, nuzzling and fondling after his affectionate fashion, while the pilot, Peter Mangrove, stood within handspike length of me. The dog had been growling, but all in fun, and snapping at me, when in a moment he hauled off, planted his paws on the rail, looked forth into the night, and gave a short, anxious bark, Ii e the solitary pop of the sentry's musket to alarm the main guard in outpost work.

Peter Mangrove advanced, and put his arm round the dog's neck. "What you see, my shild?" said the black pilot.

Sneezer uplifted his voice, and gave a long continuous growl.

"Ah!" said Mangrove sharply, "Ma.s.sa Captain, something near we--never doubt dat--de dog yeerie someting we can't yeerie, and see someting we can't see."

I had lived long enough never to despise any caution, from whatever quarter it proceeded. So I listened, still as a stone. Presently I thought I heard the distant splash of oars. I placed my hand behind my ear, and waited with breathless attention. Immediately I saw the sparkling dip of them in the calm black water, as if a boat, and a large one, was pulling very fast towards us. "Look out, hail that boat," said I.

"Boat ahoy!" sung out the man, to whom I had spoken. No answer.

"Coming here?" reiterated the seaman. No better success. The boat or canoe, or whatever it might be, was by this time close aboard of us, within pistol-shot at the farthest--no time to be lost, so I hailed myself, and this time the challenge did produce an answer.

"Sore boat-fruit and wegitab."

"Sh.o.r.e boat, with fruit and vegetables, at this time of night--I don't like it," said I. "Boatswain's mate,--all hands--pipe away the boarders.