Tom Cringle's Log Part 41

"Help, good people, help!" roared Bang--"help, or my nose will reach from this to the Moro Castle--Help!"

We got him out, and were I to live a thousand years, which would be a tolerably good spell, I don't think I could forget his appearance. His nose, usually the smallest article of the kind that I ever saw, was now swollen as large as my fist, and as purple as a mulberry--the distension of the skin, from the venomous sting of the reptile--for stung he had been by a scorpion--made it semi--transparent, so that it looked like a large blob of currant jelly hung on a peg in the middle of his face, or a gigantic leech, gorged with blood, giving his visage the semblance of some grotesque old-fashioned dial, with a fantastic gnomon.

"A poultice--a poultice--a poultice, good people, or I shall presently be all nose together,"--and a poultice was promptly manufactured from mashed pumpkin, and he was put to bed, with his face covered up with it, as if an Italian artist had been taking a cast of his beauties in plaster of Paris.

In the application of this said poultice, however, we had nearly extinguished poor Aaron amongst us, by suffocating him outright; for the skipper, who was the operating surgeon in the first instance, with me for his mate, clapped a whole ladleful over his mouth and nose, which, besides being scalding hot, sealed those orifices effectually, and indeed about a couple of tablespoonfuls had actually been forced down his gullet, notwithstanding his struggles, and exclamations of "Pumpkin bad--softened with castor oil--d----n it, skipper, you'll choke me"

spurt--sputter--sputter--"choke me, man."

"Cuidado," said Don Ricardo; "let me manage"--and he got a small tube of wild cane, which he stuck into Bang's mouth, through a hole in the poultice-cloth, and set a negro servant to watch that it did not sink into his gullet, as he fell asleep, and with instructions to take the poultice off whenever the pain abated; and there he lay on his back, whistling through this artificial beak, like a sick snipe.

At length, however, all hands of us seemed to have fallen asleep, but towards the dawning I was awakened by repeated bursts of suppressed laughter, and upon looking in the direction from whence the sounds proceeded, I was surprised beyond all measure to observe Transom in a corner of the room in his trowsers and shirt, squatted like a tailor on his hams, with one of the sable damsels on her knees beside him holding a candle, while his Majesty's Post Captain was plying his needle in a style and with a dexterity that would have charmed our friend Stultze exceedingly, and every now and then bending double over his work, and swinging his body backwards and forwards with the water welling from his eyes, laughing all the while like to choke himself. As for his bronze candlestick, I thought she would have expired on the spot, with her white teeth glancing like ivory, and the tears running down her cheeks, as she every now and then clapped a handkerchief on her mouth to smother the uncontrollable uproariousness of her mirth.

"Why, captain, what spree is this?" said I.

"Never you mind, but come here. I say, Mr Cringle, do you see him piping away there"--and there he was, sure enough, still gurgling through the wild cane--with his black guardian, whose province it was to have removed the poultice, sound asleep, snoring in the huge chair at Bang's head, wherein he had established himself, while the candle at his patient's cheek was flickering in the socket.

My superior was evidently bent on wickedness.

"Get up and put on your trowsers, man."

I did so.

"Now wait a bit till I cooper him--Here, my darling"--to the sable virgin who was now on the qui vive, bustling about--"here," said the captain, sticking out a leg of Bang's trowsers, "hold you there, my dear."

She happened to be a native of Haiti, and comprehended his French.

"Now hold you that, Mr Cringle."

I took hold of the other leg, and held it in a fitting position, while Transom deliberately sewed them both up.

"Now for the coat sleeves"

We sealed them in a similar manner.

"So--now for his shirt."

We sewed up the stem, and then the stern, converting it into an outlandish-looking pillow-case, and finally both sleeves; and last of all, we got two live land-crabs from the servants, by dint of persuasion and a little plata, and clapped one into each stocking foot.

We then dressed ourselves, and when all was ready, we got a piece of tape for a landyard, and made one end fast to the handle of a large earthen water-jar, full to the brim, which we placed on Bangs pillow, and pa.s.sed the other end round the neck of the sleeping negro.

"Now get you to bed," said the captain to the dingy handmaiden, "and stand by to be off, Mr Cringle."

He stepped to Don Ricardo's bedroom door, and tapped loudly.

"Hillo!" quoth the Don. On this hint, like men springing a mine, the last who leave the sap, we sprang into the street, when the skipper turned, and taking aim with a large custard apple which he had armed himself with (I have formerly described this fruit as resembling a russet bag of cold pudding), he let fly. Spin flew the apple--bash on the blackamoor's obtuse snout. He started back, and in his terror and astonishment threw a somersault over the back of his chair--gush poured the water--smash fell the pipkin--"murder" roared Bang, dashing off the poultice--cast, with such fury that it lighted in the street--and away we raced at the top of our speed.

We ran as fast as our legs could carry us for two hundred yards, and then turning, walked deliberately home again, as if we had been out taking a walk in the cool morning air.

As we approached, we heard the yells of a negro, and Bang high in oath.

"You black rascal, nothing must serve your turn but practising your John Canoe tricks upon a gentleman--take that, you villain, as a small recompense for floating me out of my bed--or rather off the table," and the ludicrousness of his couch seemed to come over the worthy fellow once more, and he laughed loud and long--"Poor devil, I hope I have not hurt you? here, Quashi, there's a pistole, go buy a plaster for your broken pate."

By this we had returned in front of the house, and as we ascended the front stairs, we again heard a loud racketing within; but blackie's voice was now wanting in the row, wherein the Spaniard and our friend appeared to be the dramatis personae--and sure enough there was Don Ricardo and Bang at it, tooth and nail.

"Allow me to a.s.sist you," quoth the Don.

"Oh no--mucho--mucho," quoth Bang, who was spinning round and round in his shirt on one leg, trying to thrust his foot into his trowsers; but the garment was impervious; and after emulating n.o.blet in a pirouette, he sat down in despair. We appeared--"Ah, Transom, glad to see you some evil spirit has bewitched me, I believe--overnight I was stung to death by a scorpion--half an hour ago I was deluged by an invisible spirit--and just now when I got up, and began to pull on my stockings, Lord! a land crab was in the toe part, and see how he has scarified me"

forking up his peg--"I then tried my trowsers," he continued in a most doleful tone--"and lo! the legs are sealed. And look at my face, saw you ever such an unfortunate? But the devil take you, Transom, I see through your tricks now, and will pay you off for this yet, take my word for it."

The truth is, that our amigo Aaron had gotten an awful fright on his first awakening after his cold bath, for he had given the poor black fellow an ugly blow upon the face, before he had gathered his senses well about him, and the next moment seeing the blood streaming from his nose, and mixing with the custard-like pulp of the fruit with which his face was plastered, he took it into his noodle that he had knocked the man's brains out. However, we righted the worthy fellow the best way we could, and shortly afterwards coffee, was brought, and Bang having got himself shaven and dressed began to forget all his botherations. But before we left the house, madama, Don Ricardo's better-half, insisted on anointing his nose with some mixture famous for reptile-bites. His natural good-breeding made him submit to the application, which was neither more nor less than an infusion of indigo and ginger, with which the worthy lady painted our friend's face and muzzle in a most ludicrous manner--it was heads and tails between him and an ancient Briton.

Reefpoint at this moment appeared at the door with a letter from the merchant captains, which had been sent down to the corvette, regarding the time of sailing, and acquainting us when they would be ready. While Captain Transom was perusing it, Bang was practising Spanish at the expense of Don Ricardo, whom he had boxed into a corner; but all his Spanish seemed to be sc.r.a.ps of schoolboy Latin, and I noticed that Campana had the greatest difficulty in keeping his countenance. At length Don Ricardo approached us--"Gentlemen, I have laid out a little plan for the dav; it is my wife's saint's day, and a holyday in the family, so we propose going to a coffee property of mine about ten miles from Santiago, and staying till morning--What say you?"

I chimed in--"I fear, sir, that I shall be unable to accompany you, even if Captain Transom should be good enough to give me leave, as I have an errand to do for that unhappy young fellow that we spoke about last evening--some trinkets which I promised to deliver here they are"--and I produced the miniature and crucifix.

Campana winced--"Unpleasant, certainly, Lieutenant"--said he.

"I know it will be so myself, but I have promised"

"Then far be it from me to induce you to break your promise," said the worthy man. "My son," said he, gravely, "the friar you saw yesterday is confessor to Don Picador Cangrejo's family; his reason for asking to obtain an interview with you was from its being known that you were active in capturing the unfortunate men with whom young Federico Cangrejo, his only son, was leagued. Oh that poor, poor boy! Had you known him, gentlemen, as I knew him, poor, poor Federico!"

"He was an awful villain, however, you must allow," said the Captain.

"Granted in the fullest sense, my dear sir," rejoined Campana; "but we are all frail, erring creatures, and he was hardly dealt by. He is now gone to his heavy, heavy account, and I may as well tell you the poor boy's sad story at once. Had you but seen him in his prattling infancy, in his sunny boyhood!"

"He was the only son of a rich old father, an honest worldly man, and of a most peevish, irascible temper. Poor Federico, and his sister Francisca, his only sister, were often cruelly used; and his orphan cousin, my sweet G.o.d-daughter, Maria Olivera, their playmate, was, if any thing, more harshly treated; for although his mother was and is a most excellent woman, and always stood between them and the old man's ill temper, yet at the time I speak of she had returned to Spain, where a long period of ill health detained her for upwards of three years.

Federico by this time was nineteen years of age, tall, handsome, and accomplished beyond all the youth of his rank and time of life in Cuba: But you have seen him, gentlemen--in his extremity; it is true--yet, fallen as he was, I mistake if you thought him a common man or good, or for evil, my heart told me he would be conspicuous, and I was, alas the day! too true a prophet. His attachment to his cousin, who, on the death of her mother, had become an inmate of Don Picador's house, had been evident to all but the purblind old man for a long time; and when he did discover it, he imperatively forbade all intercourse between them, as, forsooth, he had projected a richer match for him, and shut Maria up in a corner of his large mansion, Federico, haughty and proud, could not stomach this. He ceased to reside at his father's estate, which had been confided to his management, and began to frequent the billiard table, and monte-tables, and taverns, and in a thousand ways gave, from less to more, such unendurable offence, that his father at length shut his door against him, and turned him, with twenty doubloons in his pocket, into the street."

"Friends interceded, for the feud soon became public, and, amongst others, I essayed to heal it; and with the fond, although pa.s.sionate father, I easily succeeded; but how true it is, 'that evil communication corrupts good manners!' I found Federico, by this time, linked in bands of steel with a junto of desperadoes, whose calling was any thing but equivocal; and implacable to a degree, that, knowing him as I had known him, I had believed impossible. But, alas, the human heart is indeed desperately wicked. I struggled long with the excellent Father Carera to bring about a reconciliation, and thought we had succeeded, as Federico was induced to return to his father's house once more, and for many days and weeks we all flattered ourselves that he had reformed; until one morning, about four months ago, he was discovered coming out of his cousin's room about the dawning by his father, who immediately charged him with seducing his ward. High words ensued. Poor Maria rushed out and threw herself at her uncle's feet. The old man, in a transport of fury, kicked her on the face as she lay prostrate; whereupon, G.o.d help me, he was felled to the earth by his own flesh, and bone, and blood--by his abandoned son."

'What rein can hold licentious wickedness, When down the hill he holds his fierce career?'

"The rest is soon told;--he joined the pirate vessels at Puerto Escondido, and, from his daring and reckless intrepidity, soon rose to command amongst them, and was proceeding in his infernal career, when the G.o.d whom he had so fearfully defied at length sent him to expiate his crimes on the scaffold."

"But the priest"--said I, much excited.

"True," continued Don Ricardo, "Padre Carera brought a joint message from his poor mother, and sister, and--and, oh my darling G.o.d-child, my heart--dear Maria!". And the kind old man wept bitterly. I was much moved.

"Why, Mr Cringle," said Transom, "if you have promised to deliver the trinkets in propria persona, there's an end, take leave--nothing doing down yonder--send Tailtackle for clothes. Mr Reefpoint, go to the boat and send up Tailtackle; so go you must to these unfortunates, and we shall then start on our cruise to the Coffee Estate with our worthy host."

"Why," said Campana; "the family are in the country; they live about four miles from Santiago, on the very road to my property, and we shall call on our way; but I don't much admire these interviews there will be a scene, I fear."

"Not on my part," said I; "but call I must, for I solemnly promised,"

and presented the miniature to Don Ricardo.

Campana looked at it. It was exquisitely finished, and represented a most beautiful girl, a dark, large-eyed, sparkling, Spanish beauty.

"Oh, my dear, dear child," murmured Don Ricardo, "how like this was to what you were; how changed you are now from what it is--alas! alas! But come, gentlemen, my wife is ready, and my two nieces," the pretty girls who were of our party the previous evening--"and here are the horses."