To My Younger Brethren Part 5

Christians have no business with so poor and thin a phantom of virtue.

They are not at liberty not to think about a kindly courtesy of address, and a manly deference towards elders, and watchful "honour" given to woman [1 Pet. iii. 7.], and a _manifested_ (as well as felt) sympathy of heart with all who ask it. They are forbidden by the whole will and rights of their Master to be loud and "casual" in intercourse; to be moody and uncertain; to be difficult to please, easy to offend; to think it a small thing to speak the word to others which may wound, even lightly, with any wound but the really "faithful" one of a loving caution or reproof in Christ. No one is to be so independent in one aspect as the Christian man, and particularly the Christian Minister.

Few men have so strong a vantage-ground for independence as the Clergyman of the English national Church. But it is the sort of independence which carries also the deepest obligation, the strongest sort of _n.o.blesse oblige_. It is "for their sakes." And so the same man is bound to be also the most accessible, the most attentive, the most courteous and sympathetic. Avoiding carefully, of course, all affectation and unreality, he is to take care that a Christian reality within does show itself in a Christian manner without. "Let your moderation, your oblivion of self, be _known unto all men_." [Phil. iv.

5.] Let it be seen and felt, in your rooms, in your parish, in your church.

TEMPER.

Obviously this takes for granted the Clergyman's recognition of the call to "rule his spirit." [Prov. xvi. 32.] The temptation not to do so is very different for different men. One man finds temper and patience sorely tried by things which do not even attract the attention of another. But very few men indeed, in the actual experiences of pastoral life, whether in town or country, quite escape for long together the stings which irritate and inflame. But they _must_ learn how to meet them in peace and patience, unless they would take one of the most certain ways to dishonour their Master and discredit their message. The world has some very true instincts about the power of the Gospel, as it ought to be, as it claims to be. And one of them is that a Christian as such is a man who ought always to keep his temper. The Christian Clergyman is most certainly, at least in an ironical sense, "expected"

never to be _personally_ vexed and hot. Will it be so? Will he take ignorant rudeness pleasantly, should it cross his way? Will he meet opposition patiently, however firmly? Will he show that he remembers the text, "The bondservant of the Lord must not strive"? [2 Tim. ii. 24.]

THE REV. C. SIMEON.

That text was the watchword of a great man of G.o.d, the Rev. Charles Simeon, in the early and exquisitely trying experiences of his long ministry (1782-1836) at Trinity Church, Cambridge. The parishioners shut their house-doors in his face, and locked their pew-doors against those who came to hear him. Every form of irritating parochial obstruction was employed. And the young Clergyman had by nature a very short temper, and a very fearless spirit. But he had found peace through the blood of the Cross a few years before, and the interests of his Saviour were become all in all to him. So his first thought was, what would best commend Jesus Christ to the angry people? And the words seemed to sound constantly in his soul, by way of answer, "The servant of the Lord must not strive." Never was tried patience more beautifully made perfect. He was always giving way, and always going on. He carefully ascertained that it was illegal to lock the pew-doors; but he _did not take the law_ of those who locked them. His soul was kept in peace; and by degrees, as might be expected, a calmness which clearly was not cowardice but consistency won a victory whose effects are felt to this day through the whole Church of England in the results of Simeon's mighty influence.[12]

[12] I may be permitted to refer to my brief sketch of Mr Simeon's Life: _Charles Simeon_ (Methuen, 1892), ch. iv.

THE SECRET OF PEACE.

How shall we, in our measure, whenever called to it, "not strive," but "let our oblivion of self be known unto all men"--in the cottage, in the villa, in the vestry? There is only one way. It is by abiding in the Secret of the Presence, in the "pavilion" where "the strife of tongues"

may be heard indeed, but cannot, _no, cannot_, set the hearer on fire.

We must claim on our knees, very often, our Master's power to keep the soul which He has made, and which longs to manifest Him

"In faith, in meekness, love, In every beauteous grace, From glory thus to glory changed As we behold His face."

POWER OF A CONSISTENT LIFE.

I have inevitably touched only some parts of the great subject of personal ministerial Consistency. More will be said later. But the treatment on paper, at almost any length, must be incomplete at the best; many an important side of the subject will need to be omitted. My aim has been, and will be, to speak of those sides most, if not only, which are in special danger of neglect at the present day; and this means of course the pa.s.sing by of some large topics.

PAINS AND MEANS.

But contributions, however fragmentary, to the study of Consistency will not be in vain. "A Minister's life is the life of his ministry," says some one of other days with pithy force. "Happy those labourers of the Church," says blessed Quesnel, the Jansenist (on Mark vi. 33), "the sweet odour of whose lives draws the people to Jesus Christ." We all recognize the beauty and truth of such sayings. We all admit the fitness and duty of Consistency. But we must also recollect that in order to our consistency there is needed more than an abstract approbation; we must attend, we must reflect, we must examine ourselves, we must discipline ourselves, as those who aim at an object at once lovely and necessary. Above all, we must "order our steps in our Lord's Word," [Ps. cxix. 133.] and we must maintain a living communion of spirit with our Lord Himself, who is not only our Exemplar, our Law, and our King, but also our Secret, our Strength, our Life.

CHAPTER V.

_THE DAILY WALK WITH OTHERS_ (ii.).

_If Jesus Christ thou serve, take heed, Whate'er the hour may be; His brethren are obliged indeed By their n.o.bility._

In the present chapter I follow the general principles of the last into some further details. And I place before me as a sort of motto those twice-repeated words of the Apostle, TAKE HEED UNTO THYSELF.

These words, it will be remembered, are addressed in both places to the Christian Minister. [Acts xx. 28; 1 Tim. iv. 6.] At Miletus St Paul gathers round him the Presbyters of Ephesus, and implores them to take heed to themselves, and to the flock. A few years later he writes to Timothy, commissioned (whether permanently or not) to be Pastor of Pastors in that same Ephesus, and lays it on his soul to take heed to himself, and to the doctrine. In each case the appeal to attend to "self" comes first, as the vital preliminary to the other. And in each case it takes the form of a solemn warning; not only "remember" but "TAKE HEED."

TAKE HEED UNTO THYSELF.

I have already tried to emphasize the duty of "heed-taking," in several directions. But I come in this chapter to some important matters which seem specially to fall under such a heading; matters in which the lack of prayerful heed may, and often does, work great and even fatal mischief in the lives of Clergymen.

RELATIONS WITH WOMAN.

i. Let me first say a little, in brotherly confidence and candour, about the young Clergyman's _relations with Woman_ in ordinary intercourse.

It would be waste of words to talk about the delicacy of the subject; it is self-evident. And it is obvious also that in a book like this the subject can be treated only in the way of general suggestion; no vain attempt shall I make to state and discuss possible exceptional cases of social difficulty. But it is quite necessary to say something on this matter, for it is indeed a pressing and important thing in ministerial life.

I will begin, then, with the a.s.sumption that the young Clergyman recognizes, and seeks to practise, the great Gospel principle of a sanctified chivalry. "To the feminine vessel, as to the weaker, give honour," writes St Peter [1 Pet iii. 7.]; words which must be cut large and deep into our ministerial hearts if we are to live as true Ministers and true men. They have a particular reference to married life, I know; but their full scope is far wider. And they are among the most wonderful utterances of the apostolic Gospel, when we read them in the light, or rather under the contrasted darkness, of the contemporary _anti_-chivalry of the Rabbinic teaching about woman. They are the utterance of Peter, the married man, after his discipleship in the Spirit at the feet of Jesus, the Mother's Son. "_Giving honour_;" do not forget the phrase. It lifts us into a higher and far healthier region than that of either mere fondness or mere admiration. Indeed, it is all-important to remember what a deep gulph lies between two things which at first sight may be mistaken for one another--Admiration for Women, Reverence for Woman.

So let apostolic chivalry, unaffected, but watchful and practical, govern your life, by the grace of G.o.d. Let it be quite impartial as a principle. You may possibly have to speak with a princess; you are sure to have to speak and deal with very poor and ignorant women. But each and all they are WOMAN, and you must remember the Apostle's word.

Courtesy and consideration are due to them all, as you are a man, a Christian, a Minister of G.o.d. The expression may vary, and within limits it must, but the principle must be always there. To the poorest woman give the wall in the street, offer the best seat in the train.

WE ARE TRUSTED.

I must here so far antic.i.p.ate a future chapter as to point out how constantly this call to "give honour" must be remembered in pastoral visitation. We Clergy are _trusted_ to an extraordinary degree in personal intercourse with female parishioners. How often a pastoral call is paid, whether at mansion or cottage, when no man is at home! "Take heed unto thyself" _then_. The call under those circ.u.mstances should be as brief as possible. And the whole interview should be ruled by a heedful while un.o.btrusive respect and self-respect. Do not think a strong word of caution in this matter out of place and out of scale.

Carelessness of even appearances here may wreck a life; it may certainly blight an influence.

WHEN AND HOW TO TAKE HEED.

But I do not forget that we are not yet concerned directly with pastoral visitation as such; we are thinking of incidental social intercourse.

The young Clergyman will sometimes, however seldom, find himself visiting in not exactly the pastoral sense of the word. Courteous hospitality will be shown him by neighbours; and while he will very often decline these calls, because his Master's work in other and more obvious forms claims him, sometimes he will accept them, as his Master did. Or his needful holiday has come, and he is staying at a friend's house, or is thrown into new intercourse at some health-resort. And we will suppose that he is a bachelor, and not engaged. In what particular directions shall he take heed?

"KNOW THYSELF."

Below and above all details, he will take heed to remember his always present Lord and Friend, and to live and talk as knowing that "HE is the unseen Listener to every conversation"; a recollection which ought to banish from our talk, whether we talk with man or woman, alike frivolity, unkindness, untruthfulness, and dulness. Then, to come to a few details under that great principle--the man will need to watch and be heedful in one or more quite different directions, according to his character. And G.o.d grant us all such honesty and simplicity before Him as shall teach us to know at least something of our own characters, especially in their weak points. There ought to be no surer prescription for a true [Greek: gnothi seauton] than to "walk in the light" [1 John i. 7.] of the presence of Him who sees everything just as it is, and in that light to look at ourselves, and the world, and His Word; aiming every day, not to be thought "nice," or to be thought remarkable, but to let Him shine out of our lives.

THE DUTY OF RESERVE.

One man, then, will need more than another to cultivate a quiet reserve and restraint of manner in social intercourse with young ladies. It is the way of some men, without thinking about it, to be too demonstratively attentive. It is the way of others to forget that they are not everywhere at home, and to be far too familiarly friendly. "I look on every girl I meet as if she were my sister;" so said one young Clergyman, a very fine fellow indeed, but certainly in this sentiment very much and very dangerously mistaken. Attentions and confidences may be meant as honestly as possible. But if they go beyond a certain line (soon reached) they may most naturally be thought to mean something more; to be a preliminary, however distant, to an offer. And just possibly such a thought may not be unwelcome to the other person concerned. And if so, and if all the while nothing but courtesy was meant, you, my friend and Brother, without knowing it, perhaps without ever knowing it, may _spoil the life_ of one who cannot possibly, as a woman, express herself to you. I have known such a case in clerical life. The man was a true man, but he allowed himself, for the pleasantness of it, to be very agreeable where he meant no more than friendship. Great, while silent, was the sorrow that resulted. Take heed unto thyself.

SPECIAL RISKS.

There are some parochial circ.u.mstances where even unusual caution is needed in this direction; for reasons which I allude to with pain. It is a fact, I fear, that in some parishes the Curate is in danger of being rather actively pursued, by here and there a parent, as a possibly desirable son-in-law. I have even heard of a certain Inc.u.mbent who was given not indistinctly to understand that the coming Curate would be less welcome if he was a man already married. Such a state of things is of course one of exceptional social risk and difficulty for a Curate, and for a young single Rector or Vicar still more so. Nothing will do but a very real "heed-taking," beginning always in secret with G.o.d, and then quietly carried out with sanctified common-sense. Fatal mistakes, really fatal to future usefulness in the Ministry, may very easily be made otherwise.

But then there is an opposite side to the question. Some young men, not all certainly but a good many, are in great danger of a rather exaggerated estimate of their own attractions and importance. There are some junior Clergymen who are, if I do not mistake, p.r.o.ne to think that most young ladies whom they meet are fascinated by them, or are at least in imminent peril. Such delusions meet sometimes with not very gentle corrections. But it is better to be forearmed against the delusion--as it most probably _is_ a delusion in the given case. And the best prophylactic is the old one; a secret walk with G.o.d "in the light," and a recollection of the constant need of self-knowledge exactly where such knowledge is least pleasant. I repeat it; may the Lord grant us each and every one His true [Greek: gnothi seauton]. By a blessed paradox it is sure to prove the secret of a true self-oblivion; for it means for certain, among other things, a truer and fuller sight of HIM.

MATRIMONY OR CELIBACY?

The subject thus before us is a very large one. It connects itself with the whole question whether marriage or celibacy is the will of G.o.d in the man's ministerial life. Happily I have no need, in the Church of England, to defend "the holy estate of matrimony" as if it were in the slightest measure incompatible with the fullest sanctification of life and of ministry. Personally my belief is that, in the immense majority of cases, the married Clergyman is the more useful Clergyman _if_ (an "if" of extreme importance) his wife is _altogether one with him in the Lord_. But I distinctly think that there are very many exceptions to the matrimonial rule. There are branches of ministerial work, particularly in parts of the sacred _missionary_ field, where the single man seems to make the better Minister. And no true servant of G.o.d will allow himself to think first of an opening for marriage and then of an opening for ministry.

"ONE IN THE LORD."

Here I pause to say what it lies much on my heart to say somewhere. Let the true man, who is at present free in respect of marriage-engagements, resolve that in the whole question of seeking or not seeking a wife he will consider first, midst, and last his Master's work, his Master's Ministry. Better a thousand times be the most solitary of human beings than choose with your eyes open a married life in which you will not find positive help (not merely no positive hindrance) in your work for the Lord Jesus Christ. Beware of the temptation to seek the mere pretty face, or the mere fortune large or small, or mere accomplishments, or indeed anything short of the truly converted believing heart and dedicated will.

*MARRIED LIFE AS IT SHOULD BE.

The Clergyman and his Wife are sacredly bound to live their united life wholly for Christ. They are to help one another on in Him, to stimulate one another in work for others in Him, to give each other always mutual aid towards a constant growth in faith, hope, and love; towards an ever better use of means, and time, and tongue, and everything. If their Lord gives them children to train for Him, those children are to see their parents so living, not only individually but together, as to glorify and commend the Gospel _to them_, from the very first. And the wider family of the parish, sure to be observant, is to see the same sight in measure. Happy the married Pastor whose home and its life respond to such a description. Alas for the man whose pa.s.sion, blindness, hurry, self-will, or whatever else it is, has betrayed him into a condition of things which cannot be so described.

I may be writing for some readers to whom such a "take heed unto thyself" may be in point even as they read. If so, let me seize the occasion. With not a few very sorrowful ill.u.s.trations in my mind I lay all emphasis on this earnest word of affectionate warning. And let me add to it another word, as in duty bound, and with the utmost solemnity, knowing that the thing is vitally important. I appeal to you not lightly to seek marriage, not lightly to make engagement, even where you have good a.s.surance that all would be spiritually well, if there is a real probability of a married life _clogged with pecuniary perplexities_.