Three Plays Part 44

LAUDISI. Oh, doc.u.ments, ladies, doc.u.ments! This certificate of the second marriage, so it seems, talks as plain as day.

SIGNORA NENNI. Well, then, _she_ is the lunatic.

LAUDISI. Right you are! She it is!

SIGNORA CINI. But I thought you said....

LAUDISI. Yes, I did say ... but this certificate of the second marriage may very well be, as Signora Frola said, a fict.i.tious doc.u.ment, gotten up through the influence of Ponza's doctors and friends to pamper him in the notion that his wife was not his first wife, but another woman.

SIGNORA CINI. But it's a public doc.u.ment. You mean to say a public doc.u.ment can be a fraud?

LAUDISI. I mean to say--well, it has just the value that each of you chooses to give it. For instance, one could find somewhere, possibly, those letters that Signora Frola said she gets from her daughter, who lets them down in the basket in the courtyard. There are such letters, aren't there?

SIGNORA CINI. Yes, of course!

LAUDISI. They are doc.u.ments, aren't they? Aren't letters doc.u.ments? But it all depends on how you read them. Here comes Ponza, and he says they are just made up to pamper his mother-in-law in her obsession....

SIGNORA CINI. Oh, dear, dear, so then we're never sure about anything?

LAUDISI. Never sure about anything? Why not at all, not at all! Let's be exact. We are sure of many things, aren't we?

How many days are there in the week? Seven--Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.... How many months in the year are there? Twelve: January, February, March....

SIGNORA CINI. Oh, I see, you're just joking! You're just joking! (_Dina appears, breathless, in the doorway, at the rear_).

DINA. Oh, Nunky, won't you please.... (_She stops at the sight of Signora Cini_). Oh, Signora Cini, you here?

SIGNORA CINI. Why, I just came to make a call!...

LAUDISI. ... with Signora Cenni.

SIGNORA NENNI. No, my name is Nenni.

LAUDISI. Oh yes, pardon me! She was anxious to make Signora Frola's acquaintance....

SIGNORA NENNI. Why, not at all!

SIGNORA CINI. He has just been making fun of us! You ought to see what fools he made of us!

DINA. Oh, he's perfectly insufferable, even with mamma and me. Will you excuse me for just a moment? No, everything is all right. I'll just run back and tell mamma that you people are here and I think that will be enough. Oh, Nunky, if you had only heard her talk! Why, she is a perfect _dear_; and what a good, kind soul!... She showed us all those letters her daughter wrote....

SIGNORA CINI. Yes, but as Signor Laudisi was just saying....

DINA. He hasn't even seen them!

SIGNORA NENNI. You mean they are not really fict.i.tious?

DINA. Fict.i.tious nothing! They talk as plain as day. And such things! You can't fool a mother when her own daughter talks to her. And you know--the letter she got yesterday!...

(_She stops at the sound of voices coming into the study from the drawing room_). Oh, here they are, here they are, already! (_She goes to the door and peeps into the room_).

SIGNORA CINI (_following her to the door_). Is _she_ there, too?

DINA. Yes, but you had better come into the other room. All of us women must be in the drawing room. And it is just eleven o'clock, Nunky!

AMALIA (_entering with decision from the door on the left_).

I think this whole business is quite unnecessary! We have absolutely no further need of proofs....

DINA. Quite so! I thought of that myself. Why bring Ponza here?

AMALIA (_taken somewhat aback by Signora Cinis presence_).

Oh, my dear Signora Cini!...

SIGNORA CINI (_introducing Signora Nenni_). A friend of mine, Signora Nenni! I ventured to bring her with me....

AMALIA (_bowing, but somewhat coolly, to the visitor_). A great pleasure, Signora! (_After a pause_). There is not the slightest doubt in the world ... it's he!

SIGNORA CINI. It's he? Are you sure it's he?

DINA. And such a trick on the poor old lady!

AMALIA. Trick is not the name for, it! It is downright dishonest!

LAUDISI. Oh, I agree with you: it's outrageous! Quite! So much so, I'm quite convinced it must be _she_!

AMALIA. She? What do you mean? How can you say that?

LAUDISI. I say, it is _she_, it is _she_, it's _she_!

AMALIA. Oh, I say! If you had heard her talk...!

DINA. It is absolutely clear to us now.

SIGNORA CINI and SIGNORA NENNI (_swallowing_). Really? You are sure?

LAUDISI. Exactly! Now that you are sure it's he, why, obviously--it must be she.

DINA. Oh dear me, why talk to that man? He is just impossible!

AMALIA. Well, we must go into the other room.... This way, if you please!

(_Signora Cini, Signora Nenni and Amalia withdraw through the door on the left. Dina starts to follow, when Laudisi calls her back_).

LAUDISI. Dina!

DINA. I refuse to listen to you! I refuse!

LAUDISI. I was going to suggest that, since the whole matter is closed, you might close the door also.

DINA. But papa ... he told us to leave it open. Ponza will be here soon; and if papa finds it closed--well, you know how papa is!