Three Plays Part 10

THE STEP-DAUGHTER (_head bowed down slightly, with restrained disgust_). Good afternoon!

THE FATHER (_looks under her hat which partly covers her face. Perceiving she is very young, he makes an exclamation, partly of surprise, partly of fear lest he compromise himself in a risky adventure_) "Ah ... but ... ah ... I say ... this is not the first time that you have come here, is it?"

THE STEP-DAUGHTER (_modestly_). No sir.

THE FATHER. You've been here before, eh? (_Then seeing her nod agreement_): More than once? (_Waits for her to answer, looks under her hat, smiles, and then says_): Well then, there's no need to be so shy, is there? May I take off your hat?

THE STEP-DAUGHTER (_antic.i.p.ating him and with veiled disgust_). No sir ... I'll do it myself. (_Takes it off quickly_).

(THE MOTHER, _who watches the progress of the scene with_ THE SON _and the other two children who cling to her, is on thorns; and follows with varying expressions of sorrow, indignation, anxiety, and horror the words and actions of the other two. From time to time she hides her face in her hands and sobs_).

THE MOTHER. Oh, my G.o.d, my G.o.d!

THE FATHER (_playing his part with a touch of gallantry_).

Give it to me! I'll put it down (_takes hat from her hands_). But a dear little head like yours ought to have a smarter hat. Come and help me choose one from the stock, won't you?

L'INGeNUE (_interrupting_). I say ... those are our hats you know.

THE MANAGER (_furious_). Silence! silence! Don't try and be funny, if you please.... We're playing the scene now I'd have you notice. (_To the Step-Daughter_). Begin again, please!

THE STEP-DAUGHTER (_continuing_). No thank you, sir.

THE FATHER. Oh, come now. Don't talk like that. You must take it. I shall be upset if you don't. There are some lovely little hats here; and then--Madame will be pleased.

She expects it, anyway, you know.

THE STEP-DAUGHTER. No, no! I couldn't wear it!

THE FATHER. Oh, you're thinking about what they'd say at home if they saw you come in with a new hat? My dear girl, there's always a way round these little matters, you know.

THE STEP-DAUGHTER (_all keyed up_). No, it's not that. I couldn't wear it because I am ... as you see ... you might have noticed.... (_showing her black dress_).

THE FATHER. ... in mourning! Of course: I beg your pardon: I'm frightfully sorry....

THE STEP-DAUGHTER (_forcing herself to conquer her indignation and nausea_). Stop! Stop! It's I who must thank you. There's no need for you to feel mortified or specially sorry. Don't think any more of what I've said. (_Tries to smile_). I must forget that I am dressed so....

THE MANAGER (_interrupting and turning to the Prompter_).

Stop a minute! Stop! Don't write that down. Cut out that last bit. (_Then to the Father and Step-Daughter_). Fine!

it's going fine! (_To the Father only_). And now you can go on as we arranged. (_To the actors_). Pretty good that scene, where he offers her the hat, eh?

THE STEP-DAUGHTER. The best's coming now. Why can't we go on?

THE MANAGER. Have a little patience! (_To the actors_): Of course, it must be treated rather lightly.

LEADING MAN. Still, with a bit of go in it!

LEADING LADY. Of course! It's easy enough! (_To Leading Man_): Shall you and I try it now?

LEADING MAN. Why, yes! I'll prepare my entrance. (_Exit in order to make his entrance_).

THE MANAGER (_to Leading Lady_). See here! The scene between you and Madame Pace is finished. I'll have it written out properly after. You remain here ... oh, where are you going?

LEADING LADY. One minute. I want to put my hat on again (_goes over to hat-rack and puts her hat on her head_).

THE MANAGER. Good! You stay here with your head bowed down a bit.

THE STEP-DAUGHTER. But she isn't dressed in black.

LEADING LADY. But I shall be, and much more effectively than you.

THE MANAGER (_to Step-Daughter_). Be quiet please, and watch! You'll be able to learn something. (_Clapping his hands_) Come on! come on! Entrance, please!

(_The door at rear of stage opens, and the Leading Man enters with the lively manner of an old gallant. The rendering of the scene by the actors from the very first words is seen to be quite a different thing, though it has not in any way the air of a parody. Naturally, the Step-Daughter and the Father, not being able to recognize themselves in the Leading Lady and the Leading Man, who deliver their words in different tones and with a different psychology, express, sometimes with smiles, sometimes with gestures, the impression they receive_).

LEADING MAN. Good afternoon, Miss....

THE FATHER (_at once unable to contain himself_). No! no!

(THE STEP-DAUGHTER _noticing the way the_ LEADING MAN _enters, bursts out laughing_).

THE MANAGER (_furious_). Silence! And you please just stop that laughing. If we go on like this, we shall never finish.

THE STEP-DAUGHTER. Forgive me, sir, but it's natural enough.

This lady (_indicating Leading Lady_) stands there still; but if she is supposed to be me, I can a.s.sure you that if I heard anyone say "Good afternoon" in that manner and in that tone, I should burst out laughing as I did.

THE FATHER. Yes, yes, the manner, the tone....

THE MANAGER. Nonsense! Rubbish! Stand aside and let me see the action.

LEADING MAN. If I've got to represent an old fellow who's coming into a house of an equivocal character....

THE MANAGER. Don't listen to them, for Heaven's sake! Do it again! It goes fine. (_Waiting for the actors to begin again_): Well?

LEADING MAN. Good afternoon, Miss.

LEADING LADY. Good afternoon.

LEADING MAN (_imitating the gesture of the Father when he looked under the hat, and then expressing quite clearly first satisfaction and then fear_). Ah, but ... I say ...

this is not the first time that you have come here, is it?

THE MANAGER. Good, but not quite so heavily. Like this (_acts himself_): "This isn't the first time that you have come here".... (_To Leading Lady_) And you say: "No, sir."

LEADING LADY. No, sir.

LEADING MAN. You've been here before, more than once.

THE MANAGER. No, no, stop! Let her nod "yes" first.

"You've been here before, eh?" (_The Leading Lady lifts up her head slightly and closes her eyes as though in disgust.

Then she inclines her head twice_).