This Is W.A.R. Part 5

Willa. Willa. Willa.

Lina couldn't understand why she mentally repeated Willa's name, but it was as though every thought had been washed away. Her friend's name was the only word that remained-a mantra. Was she praying? She didn't know; she just needed Trip to walk away.

And then he did.

She would have thought in that moment that Willa would feel closer, more alive, eternal almost. After all, she'd answered Lina's prayers. Or someone had. But instead, it was just a stark reminder that Willa was dead. Gone. Ashes scattered. All because of a boy who hung around a country club, bought drugs, and lived his life like nothing had changed. In that moment she wanted to jump down from the tree and destroy every stupid boy on that court. On some level they were all in this together. It was the way Hawthorne Lake worked, with its secrets and cover-ups and dismissive "boys will be boys" rules. And it would happen again. To another girl. Another friend. Another sister.

For a moment Lina swayed on the branch thinking about how good it would feel to rake her red nails across James's inscrutable face. But instead, she stilled herself, tilting her face to the sky, allowing the light filtering through the leaves above to paint her body with splashes of sun. Lina waited. She felt something inside her stir; something that felt dangerously close to hope, and for the first time since she'd handed Madge $25,000, she thought they might actually be able to do this. She finally had physical, undeniable proof of the Gregory boys breaking the law. Proof that might finally force the Captain to disinherit them both. Maybe power wasn't an illusion after all. Maybe it was out there for the taking just as long as you knew where to find it. Or at least how to fight for it.

Chapter 12.

After what felt like an eternity, the boys disbanded and headed back to the main Club grounds. Lina shimmied down the tree, reaching up to the sky and bending to touch her toes at the bottom. She felt as if she'd just emerged from the trunk of someone's car. She bent to retrieve her phone: all in one piece and still operational. She sent a silent thank you up to Willa.

But before weaving back through the woods, Lina slipped onto the basketball court and got down on her hands and knees, surveying the ground near where Rory's duffle had been. Two cigarette b.u.t.ts, a candy wrapper, gra.s.s clippings ... and yes. A lone white pill had slipped into one of the cracks near the edge of the court. Using her nail to pop it out, she examined the stamped name. Xyrem. She frowned, pulling up Google on her phone. Now she was even more confused. What the h.e.l.l did Trip want with a drug used to treat narcolepsy? She clicked on the Wikipedia link, her eyes flashing down to three letters she recognized instantly.

XYREM is a kind of GHB. XYREM can cause very low levels of awareness (or consciousness), with some cases of coma and death.

Trip and James had just purchased a date rape drug. A drug that James could have given to Willa the night she died. A drug that would explain why one of the best swimmers at the Club drowned in the lake on a night when the water was as still as gla.s.s. The words on the screen in front of her blurred and swam together. She snapped a photo of the pill, tucked it in her pocket and ran the entire length of the trail back to the sunroom.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Winthrop?" The girl behind the bar looked bored, and Lina was overwhelmed by the smell of sickeningly sweet vanilla lotion. Lina wanted to tell her that if she caught her wearing that disgusting lotion ever again she would personally see to it that she got fired, but she settled for ordering a sparkling water instead. "Please don't call me Ms. Winthrop," she added. "That's my mother."

She heard a shuffling sound behind her and then her name. "Lina." That voice. Mari. "Listen, I know you don't want to talk to me, you're making that pretty clear, but I promise I'll leave you alone if you just ..."

The bartender reappeared with Lina's drink, and Mari closed her mouth. Lina appreciated the diversion. She took a long sip, resisting the urge to chug the entire gla.s.s. Trip's crew burst in from the locker room, their hair dripping wet.

"Hannah! My love!" Trip sang. The bartender's cheeks flushed. "How about a cold one?"

"One pop coming right up." Hannah winked, filling a gla.s.s with ice.

Lina felt sick to her stomach. As usual the rules didn't apply to the Gregorys. His brother was a murderer, a girl had died-a girl everyone knew and loved-and he was walking around ordering drinks and winking at the staff. Life went on. And Trip joked and flirted his way through it, above it.

Mari cast one last look at Lina, who wiped her eyes furiously. Tears meant weakness and Lina had to be strong. Her dad had taught her that. It was a waste of energy to cry over not making the team or getting dumped or falling down. He wouldn't listen to it. "Stop crying. Grow up. Walk it off." He'd spat the same words at her over the years, and she'd learned to control the feelings that accompanied them. He was right. Tears were worthless. And no matter how intense the pain of losing Willa was, it wouldn't kill her. On the other hand, sitting around watching Trip Gregory order a fresh drink while James replenished his stash of roofies just might.

As Mari tried to duck out of the bar, Trip planted himself in her path. His hand lightly grazed her thigh. Another wave of nausea rolled through Lina, but she reminded herself this was exactly what she needed. Mari's gaze locked on Trip's. He nodded almost imperceptibly. Trip was the kind of guy who lived for taking risks and almost getting caught-or getting caught and facing zero consequences. Then he turned to Lina.

"Dress down day, Lina?" he asked playfully, his eyes wandering over the length of her body.

She clenched her fingers into fists. "Something like that," she replied.

Trip scribbled his signature on the bill charging the Gregory account, slipped down from the stool and was gone. Mari opened her mouth to say something, but eventually sighed and followed him out of the sunroom. From watching the interaction, Lina knew they had made plans to meet. His little nod had said it all. She waited thirty seconds, got up, and casually headed in the same direction.

Sure enough, as Mari pa.s.sed the men's locker room, Trip ducked out, grabbed her hand, and pulled her in. Lina reminded herself that she didn't give a s.h.i.t about Mari. But then she thought of how Willa made Lina call her whenever she got home at night after a party, just to let her know she was safe. No one had ever thought to do that before. Lina was pretty sure no one would ever do it again.

She shoved herself into the locker room after them, her body pressed tightly against the navy blue walls. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and hit record, praying the microphone would be sensitive enough to pick up their conversation. She marveled at the decor: all cherry wood and rich granite. While the women's locker room was outdated and shabby, the men's was incredibly expensive and modern. The only thing missing was some kind of phallic monument to really drive the point home. Clearly, here was a place where Hawthorne men could go to feel like true men. Or ravage the staff.

"Are you sure no one's in here? I feel like I just heard something." Mari sounded worried.

"Will you just relax? It's almost dinner. Everyone's starting c.o.c.ktails." Trip's voice was m.u.f.fled, probably by his lips on Mari's neck or G.o.d only knew where. Lina's lower back began to sweat.

"I just ..."

Lina could feel a shift in the air, an energy that wasn't there before.

"You just what?" Trip's voice was clipped. "Here ..." he'd managed to soften it. "This will help you relax."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to imagine what he held out to Mari. No doubt it was tiny and white.

"I don't know. I'm okay. It's fine." Mari laughed uncomfortably.

"Take it." It wasn't a suggestion. Lina pictured Mari's full lips wrapping around the tiny pill, swallowing it dry, submitting to the effects of the drug, to Trip, to it all. And she got p.i.s.sed. She switched her phone to camera mode and snuck around the corner, taking continuous pictures while trying to block out the images in front of her. The word "victim" came to mind as Trip lay on top of Mari on a narrow wooden bench, Mari who was now listless. Lina felt something twist inside of her. It was like facing her dad's wrath all over again, only this time she relished the pain. Without pain there would be no anger, and without anger there would be no courage. And she was going to need all the courage she could get.

"Stop!" she shouted.

"What the ...?" Trip had the decency to appear shocked, at least for a moment. Then he smiled, slow and confident. "Oh, I get it. You want in on this, don't you Lina Ballerina?"

The perversity of Sloane's nickname on his lips made something inside her snap. Without thinking, Lina charged. "Get off of her." She pushed at his pale chest with all of her weight. "Get the h.e.l.l off."

He laughed clumsily as he fell back on the wood floor. "Relax, Lina. I was kidding." He grabbed his shorts and b.u.t.toned them quickly. "But stay out of my business." He gestured loosely at Mari, still collapsed on the bench, "And I'll stay out of yours." He stared at her a few seconds too long, then turned to walk out of the locker room. "Gentlemen's quarters are off limits, Lina Ballerina," he called. "The Captain is going to be p.i.s.sed. I'd keep a low profile if I were you."

He let the door slam behind him and Lina turned her attention to Mari. She forced herself to focus on her face and ignore the fact that she was laying down, half naked.

"Are you okay?" It was kind of a ridiculous question, but it was the best Lina could do.

Mari didn't respond, just looked up at her with gla.s.sy eyes, her expression unreadable.

"Come on, let's get you dressed." Lina tried to grab Mari's limp arms to pull her into a seated position, but her hands were slapped away.

"Get off me. I'm fine." Mari sat up and threw her shirt on over her head.

"But Trip ... he was just ..."

"All over me? Yeah. That's kind of the idea, Lina. What do you think I was trying to tell you? What happened on the Fourth, no one can know about it, okay? G.o.d, you're worse than Rose."

"Wait, Rose McCaan?"

Lina stood there with her mouth hanging open, phone in hand. Mari and Rose were friends? No wonder Rose had freaked out when Lina mentioned Mari's role in their plan the other night.

Before she could respond, Mari s.n.a.t.c.hed Lina's phone out from her grasp. "Yup, Rose and I go way back." She tossed the phone in her oversized purse and hurried out of the locker room.

Chapter 13.

Lina sat on the curb outside of the Club for what felt like forever. Could have been minutes, could have been hours. She didn't know. Didn't really care. She was done fighting. Done walking off the pain. She was ready to wallow. She watched the early birds arrive, white-haired and stooped, helping each other out of their gigantic cars. The twenty-something happy hour crowd came next, the girls sporting spaghetti straps and full faces of makeup, some of the guys wearing suits straight from work. Their entrance was loud, full of life and possibility. Her heart pulled when she saw families arrive a bit later. A group of middle school girls trailed behind their parents with their arms linked. The girl in the middle looked directly at Lina and smiled at her exactly the way Willa used to smile at people who looked lonely.

As they walked into the Club, arms tight, Lina couldn't help but think about how easily they'd break. Red rover, red rover, let Lina come over. If the War failed, it was those girls who would suffer. Those girls who would eventually be hurt and taken advantage of by the Gregorys.

"Lina?"

Rose McCaan appeared at the curb. Her long hair was a mess of frizz, and she was wearing the most heinous pair of khaki shorts Lina had ever laid eyes on.

"It should be illegal to have that many pockets," Lina mumbled. What did one put in all of those pockets? Drugs? Phones? Evidence? All of the things Lina was missing. All of the things that Mari had probably given to Rose. Her mind raced with the best way to confront Rose about Mari. She had to be careful. She needed that phone, and until she had it in her hands, she needed Rose, too.

"Nice to see you, too. I've been calling you." Rose shifted her weight from foot to foot like she had to pee. Lina had never met anyone who was so consistently nervous. "Come on. We have to get ready. He's meeting me here. Soon." Rose scowled, waiting for a response. When Lina offered none, she rolled her eyes and started toward the doors. "Pool house in five. If you're not there, I'll just text Madge. She's been looking for you, too, you know."

s.h.i.t. Madge. Lina knew she'd want to know exactly what she'd learned about Trip after a long day of stalking. She'd want to see pictures; she'd ask why Lina hadn't called her back. As much as Lina wanted to stay on that curb for the rest of her life, there was no way she was going to tell Madge that she'd messed up everything with Trip. That there was now a waitress walking around Hawthorne Lake reading all of her texts about the War and the Gregorys. Her best bet was to get her phone back and figure out exactly what Mari and Rose were planning together. She had to play along and let Rose screw up first.

Lina hurried after her toward the huge pool behind the Club. By this time, the sun was low in the sky. It couldn't set fast enough, as far as Lina was concerned. A couple sat at the edge, dipping their feet. The rest of the deck was clear. Rose wandered aimlessly, staring at the couple and back to Lina. It would have gone on like that for hours if Lina hadn't intervened.

"You want them to leave I take it?" Lina could feel Rose's eyes examining the colorful tattoos that snaked up and down her arms. She felt like saying, "My eyes are up here," but didn't care enough to bother. She kind of liked being a freak show. Especially to the boring girls like Rose. "Ooh, I know, let's go skinny dipping!" Lina exclaimed loudly. She started to take off her shirt while Rose watched in horror and the woman grabbed her husband by the arm and yanked him inside. "See? Works every time."

"Right, well, it doesn't work for me. I could get in a lot of trouble ... my mom?" Rose's voice cracked.

Lina felt like punching her. "What's the big plan, so we can both get this over with?" she groaned.

"Plan?" Rose squeaked.

"Uh yeah, you know, how you're planning on getting James naked. How'd you get him here anyway? Promise of a quickie in the locker room?" Lina waited for her to take the bait.

"Yeah ... um ... that." Rose stared down at her phone. In a sudden burst of inspiration, Lina stole Mari's move. She almost felt like she was watching someone else as she yanked the phone right out from Rose's grasp. Perfect. She'd use Rose's phone as collateral to get her own phone back. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it sooner.

"Hey!" Rose shrieked, lunging at Lina. "You can't? Come on ..."

But Lina was already three steps ahead of her and faster than Rose. Her sandals clattered on the flagstones as she flipped through the texts. Oh, my G.o.d. There wasn't a single text from Mari. Instead the phone was full of messages from James. They went back to long before Willa had died. All pleases and forgive mes and I need to see yous.

"You like him." Lina stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around. Her eyes bored into Rose's. "You like him and you're trying to protect him. That's why you joined, isn't it? You wanted to save your psycho killer boyfriend? Well, congratulations. Mission accomplished. For your information, I had everything we needed to get the Gregorys cut off. Everything. And I lost it. Your stupid little friend stole it." Lina laughed bitterly. "So, knock yourself out. None of this even matters. Why don't you go screw your boyfriend, and we can call it a day, 'kay?"

"You b.i.t.c.h."

Lina blinked. It was the first time Lina had ever heard Rose raise her voice. "What did you-"

"You think you're the only one hurting here?" Rose snapped. "I don't see you risking a G.o.dd.a.m.ned thing for Willa. All you had to do was pony up twenty-five thousand dollars. A drop in the bucket for you. I gave up everything for this. My parents. My friends. My ..." Her voice trailed off and Lina could only guess that James's name was going to come next. "Screw it, keep my phone. The camera is next to the couch if you change your mind." Rose straightened her shoulders and walked back toward the chairs lining the pool deck. "And before you go around saying that none of this matters, remember that we're talking about Willa here. Your best friend. Even I know she was too good a person to let her killer go free."

Lina opened her mouth, but the words caught in her throat. Rose vanished inside. The worst part about Rose's little speech was that she was right. Her knees trembled as she lowered herself into one of the upholstered lounge chairs, her hands useless in her lap. Funny: this was where she first met Willa. This exact spot, on the first day of the Club's summer camp. Dumping your annoying middle school-aged child off at day camp was a time-honored Hawthorne Lake tradition. Lina swore her mother actually swiped her hands together after closing the car door, like Lina were a bag of trash on garbage day. And she kind of was. Gla.s.ses, baby fat, braces, and the beginnings of b.o.o.bs no one bothered to help fit for a bra. If it weren't for the incessant name calling at her school, Lina would still stink to high heaven, but she'd at least learned to sneak her mom's deodorant.

And then she had seen Willa. Beautiful, even at an age where n.o.body was. Willa, who didn't have to suffer through braces or get made fun of for having a mustache or bad eyebrows or zits or any of the other requisite humiliations of p.u.b.erty: always the girl everyone wished they could be. And when Willa saw her that was it: she chose Lina to be her friend. No strings attached. There wasn't some glamorous makeover, a dramatic unveiling of contacts and a cut and color all thanks to the beautiful blonde taking pity on the ugly duckling. There was just friendship. And fun. It was the first time Lina ever remembered anyone really liking her for who she really was. Honestly, it might have been the last.

"What the h.e.l.l have I done?" she whispered out loud.

She had been wrong about Rose. She wanted Rose to have an agenda so she'd have a reason to hate her. A reason that wasn't based on petty jealousy.

Lina pushed herself to her feet. She didn't head to the pool house because she felt bad for misjudging Rose. She didn't go to prove to herself that losing Willa hadn't turned her into a jealous b.i.t.c.h. No, Lina went to the pool house because all those years ago Willa had picked her. And when she crouched beside a leather chair and balanced herself on the terracotta tiles, her fingers tight on the camera, she was determined to finally take a real risk in return.

Lina paced the small shadowy pool house. Dusk had now fully settled in. The pool lights clicked on, and the water glowed like turquoise gla.s.s against the dark stone of the deck. Soon, couples would begin to spill out from within the Club, second and third gla.s.ses of wine in hand. Lina chewed her lip. Time wasn't on her and Rose's side. But then she heard a shatter. Where James Gregory walked, the sound of breaking gla.s.s inevitably followed. He was good at breaking things.

Rose froze, and even in the dark Lina saw her eyes widen. She was scared. Lina never should have agreed to let Rose do the dirty work. There was just no way in h.e.l.l Ms. Stick-Up-Her-a.s.s was ever going to have the b.a.l.l.s to get James naked. In poured James like the alcohol he was so fond of. He practically fell into the pool area, stumbled over the threshold, barely able to right himself. Brown liquid sloshed over the rim of his gla.s.s, his sungla.s.ses perched at the end of his nose even though the day was long over. His eyes landed on Rose above his sungla.s.ses, and he straightened, lunging in her direction.

Rose's first instinct seemed to be to take a step backward, but she quickly ducked around him and spun toward the pool, reversing places as if they were doing some sort of messed-up tango. Lina's stomach clenched. She resisted the urge to scream at Rose to stop, that he was dangerous, that he was drunk, that it could happen again. But she was right here this time. She was in control. She could save Rose if she needed saving.

"Hey." Rose said the word softly, like an invitation, "I've tried calling you so many times. You never pick up. Never. What are you, scared?" James lurched toward her again.

Warning bells sounded in Lina's ears. This was not going to end well. But she stayed where she was with her camera trained on the two of them.

Rose paused and shook her head slowly. "Not scared. Not exactly."

"Well, you should be. You need to stay the h.e.l.l away from me. Everyone does."

"But it was supposed to be me." Rose said the words so quietly that Lina almost missed them. "I was supposed to be with you that night. Not Willa."

James let out a short bark of laughter. "Oh! So you have a death wish? That's why you're talking to me all of the s-s-sudden." He slurred his words. "It's all coming together now."

Rose spun and bolted.

Lina ducked down, fiddling with the camera to turn it off. Her hands trembled. Enough was enough. She had no desire to watch two attempted date rapes in one day. The red light of the camera finally blinked off. She started toward the pool house door. This tango was over. But by the time Lina made it out to the pool, James was collapsed at Rose's feet. She scowled at Rose.

"He fell. Tripped over one of the chairs. And now he's out." Rose kneeled down and started unb.u.t.toning his shirt while Lina stood there gaping at her. A pool umbrella lay beside James's limp body. Either it had fallen from the table a good ten feet away or someone had grabbed it. "Well? What are you waiting for? This is it. Get the camera."

"Did you ...?" She wanted to ask Rose if she'd hit James with the umbrella. She wanted to apologize for being such a b.i.t.c.h and questioning her loyalty to Willa. She wanted to thank her for being able to fix the mess Lina had made of this entire day, but instead, she obeyed Rose's order without so much as a peep. It was the best Lina could do. Besides, these pictures? They were going to be worth way more than any of her words.

Chapter 14.

For the first time in a long while, Lina woke up without the feeling of dread heavy on her chest. It took her eyes a second to adjust to the morning light filtering in through her blinds. Her entire back wall, crown molding to baseboard, was covered in photographs. Most were from school, her friends bunched together with arms slung around shoulders, smiles so big they threatened to take over entire faces, wearing everyone's clothes but their own. And then there was summer. Hawthorne Lake, bikinis, sunshine, and beach parties. Early lunches, late dinners, illicit happy hours. Home. Madge, Sloane and ... Willa.

Lina's smile vanished. She shot up in bed, her hands reaching for her neck, gasping for air as if ripping a hole in her throat might help her breathe. But it was no use. At least she'd had a few minutes of happiness this morning. That was longer than she'd had in ages.

The girls were due to meet at their usual spot in the Club's attic, and because Rose kicked a.s.s last night, Lina actually had something to show for an otherwise waste of a day. So strange: the only thing Lina had been right about when it came to Rose McCaan was her atrocious fashion sense. The girl had proved herself and beyond.