There & Back Part 21

"Well!" returned Richard, a little bewildered, "what would you have me say? You know what I mean! It is going not to be, that is all."

"That is all! How would _you_ like to be told you were going nowhere--going not to be--that was all?"

Richard saw that to declare abruptly his belief that he was himself as much going nowhere as any pigeon that ever died, would probably be to close the door between them. At the same time, if he left her to imagine that he expected life for himself, but not for the animals, she must think him selfish! Unwilling therefore to answer, he took refuge in his genuine sympathy with suffering.

"Is it not strange," he said, and would have taken from her hands the wounded bird, but she would not part with it, "that men should take pleasure in killing--especially a creature like that, so full of innocent content? It seems to me the greatest pity to stop such a life!"

As he spoke there came upon him the dim sense of a foaming reef of argument ahead--such as this: "Then there ought to be no death! And what ought not to be, cannot be! But there is death: what then is death? If it be a stopping of life, then that is which cannot be. But it may be only a change in the form of life that looks like a stopping, and is not! If Death be stronger than Life, so that he stops life, how then was Life able so to flout him, that he, the thing that was not, arose from the antenatal sepulchre on which Death sat throned in impotent negation of ent.i.ty, unable to preclude existence, and yet able to annihilate it?

Life alone is: nothingness is not; Death cannot destroy; he is not the antagonist, not the opposite of life." Some such argument Richard, I say, saw vaguely through the gloom ahead, and began to beat to windward.

"Did you ever notice," he said, "in _The Rime of the Ancient Mariner_, the point at which the dead bird falls from the neck of the man?"

It was a point, however, at which neither he nor Barbara was capable of seeing the depth of the poem. Richard thought it was the new-born love of beauty that freed the mariner; he did not see that it was the love of life, the new-born sympathy with life.

"I don't even know what you are talking of," answered Barbara. "Do tell me. It sounds like something wonderful! Is it a story?"

"Yes--a wonderful story."

Richard had not attempted to understand Coleridge's philosophy, taking it for quite obsolete; and it was but doubtfully that he had made trial of his poems. Happily choosing _Christabel_, however, for a tasting-piece, he was immediately enchanted and absorbed; and never again had he been so keenly aware of disappointment as when he came to the end, and found, as an Irishman might say, that it was not there: a lump gathered in his throat; he flung the book from him, and it was a week before he could open it again.

The next poem he tried was _The Rime of the Ancient Mariner_, which he read with almost equal delight, bewitched with many an individual phrase, with the melody unique of many a stanza, with the strangeness of its speech, with the loveliness of its real, and the wildness of its invented pictures. But he had not yet discovered, or even begun to foresee the marvel of its whole. A man must know something of repentance before he can understand _The Rime of the Ancient Mariner_.

The volume containing it had come into his hands as one of a set his father had to bind. It belonged to a worshipper of Coleridge, who had possessed himself of every edition of every book he had written, or had had a share in writing. There he read first the final form of _The Rime_ as it appeared in the _Sibylline Leaves_ of 1817: when he came to look at that in the _Lyrical Ballads_, published in 1798, he found differences many and great between the two. He found also in the set an edition with a form of the poem differing considerably from the last as well as the first. He had brought together and compared all these forms of the poem, noting every minutest variation--a mode of study which, in the case of a masterpiece, richly repays the student. It was no wonder, therefore, that Richard had almost every word of it on the very tip of his tongue.

He began to repeat the ballad, and went on, never for a moment intermitting his work. Without the least attempt at what is called recitation, of which happily he knew nothing, he made both sense and music tell, saying it as if he were for the hundredth time reading it aloud for his own delight. If his p.r.o.nunciation was c.o.c.kneyish, it was but a little so.

The very first stanza took hold of Barbara. She sat down by Richard's table, softly laid the dying bird in her lap, and listened with round eyes and parted lips, her rapt soul sitting in her ears.

But Richard had not gone far before he hesitated, his memory perplexed between the differing editions.

"Have you forgotten it? I am _so_ sorry!" said Barbara. "It _is_ wonderful--not like anything I ever heard, or saw, or tasted before. It smells like a New Zealand flower called--" Here she said a word Richard had never heard, and could never remember. "I don't wonder at your liking books, if you find things in them of that sort!"

"I've not exactly forgotten it," answered Richard; "but I've copied out different editions for comparison, and they've got a little mixed in my head."

"But surely the printers, with all their blunders and changes, can't keep you from seeing what the author wrote!"

"The editions I mean are those of the author himself. He kept making changes, some of them very great changes. Not many people know the poem as Coleridge first published it."

"Coleridge! Who was he?"

"The man that wrote the poem."

"Oh! He altered it afterwards?"

"Yes, very much."

"Did he make it better?"

"Much better."

"Then why should you care any more for the first way of it?"

"Just because it is different. A thing not so good may have a different goodness. A man may not be so good as another man, and yet have some good things in him the other has not. That implies that not every change he made was for the better. And where he has put a better phrase, or pa.s.sage, the former may yet be good. So you see a new form may be much better, and yet the old form remain much too good to be parted with.

In any case it is intensely interesting to see how and why he changed a thing or its shape, and to ponder wherein it is for the better or the worse. That is to take it like a study in natural history. In that we learn how an animal grows different to meet a difference in the supply of its needs; in the varying editions of a poem we see how it alters to meet a new requirement of the poet's mind. I don't mean the cases are parallel, but they correspond somehow. If I were a schoolmaster, I should make my pupils compare different forms of the same poem, and find out why the poet made the changes. That would do far more for them, I think, than comparing poets with each other. The better poets are--that is, the more original they are--the less there is in them to compare."

"But I want to hear the rest of the story. Never mind the differences in the telling of it."

"I'm afraid I can't get into the current of it now."

"You can look at the book! It must be somewhere among all these!"

"No doubt. But I haven't time to look for it now."

"It won't take you a minute to find it."

"I must not leave my work."

"It wouldn't cost you more than one tiny minute!" pleaded Barbara like a child.

"Let me explain to you, miss:--I find the only way to be _sure_ I don't cheat, is to know I haven't stopped an instant to do anything for myself. Sometimes I have stopped for a while; and then when I wanted to make up the time, I couldn't be quite sure how much I owed, and that made me give more than I needed--which I didn't like when I would gladly have been doing something else. When the time is my own, it is of far more value to me for the insides than to my employer for the outsides of the books. So you see, for my own sake as well as his, I cannot stop till my time is up."

"That _is_ being honest!"

"Who can consent to be dishonest! It is the meanest thing to undertake work and then imagine you show spirit by shirking what you can of it.

There's a lot of fellows like that! I would as soon pick a pocket as undertake and not do!"

Barbara begged no more.

"But I can talk while I work, miss," Richard went on; "and I will try again to remember."

"Please, please do."

Richard thought a little, and presently resuming the poem, went on to the end of the first part. As he finished the last stanza--

G.o.d save thee, ancient Mariner, From the fiends that plague thee thus!-- Why look'st thou so?--With my cross-bow I shot the _Albatross!_'"--

"Ah!" cried Barbara, "I see now what made you think of the poem!"--and she looked down at the throbbing bird in her lap.

It opened its dark eyes once more--with a reeling, pitiful look at her, Barbara thought--quivered a little, and lay still. She burst into tears.

Richard dropped his work, and made a step toward her.

"Never mind," she said. "One has got to cry _so_ much, and I may as well cry for the bird! I'm all right now, thank you! Please go on. The bird is dead, and I'm glad. I will let it lie a little, and then bury it. If it be anywhere, perhaps it will one day know me, and then it will love me. Please go on with the poem. It will make me forget. I'm not bound to remember, am I--where I'm not to blame, I mean, and cannot help?"

"Certainly not!" acquiesced Richard, and began the second part.

"I see! I see!" cried Barbara, wiping her eyes. "They were cross with him for killing the bird, not because they loved the beautiful creature, but because it was unlucky to kill him! And then when nothing but good came, they said it was quite right to kill him, and told lies of him, and said he was a bad bird, and brought the fog and mist!--I wonder what's coming to them!--That's not the end, is it? It can't be!"

"No; it's not nearly done yet. It's only beginning."