The Young Gentleman and Lady's Monitor, and English Teacher's Assistant Part 31

59. Not that I would have you give up your opinion always; no, a.s.sert your own sentiments, and oppose those of others when wrong, but let your manner and voice be gentle and engaging, and yet no ways affected. If you contradict, do it with, _I may be wrong, but--I won't be positive, but I really think--I should rather suppose--If I may be permitted to say_--and close your dispute with good humour, to shew you are neither displeased yourself, nor meant to displease the person you dispute with.

60. Acquaint yourself with the character and situation of the company you go into, before you give a loose to your tongue; for should you enlarge on some virtue, which anyone present may notoriously want: or should you condemn some vices which any of the company may be particularly addicted to, they will he apt to think your reflections pointed and personal, and you will be sure to give offence. This consideration will naturally lead you, not to suppose things said in general to be levelled at you.

61. Low-bred people, when they happen occasionally to be in good company, imagine themselves to be the subject of every separate conversation. If any part of the company whispers, it is about them; if they laugh, it is at them; and if any thing is said, which they do not comprehend, they immediately suppose it is meant of them.--This mistake is admirably ridiculed in one of our celebrated comedies, "_I am sure_, says Scrub, _they were talking of me, for they laughed consumedly_."

62. Now, a well-bred person never thinks himself disesteemed by the company, or laughed at, unless their reflections are so gross, that he cannot be supposed to mistake them, and his honour obliges him to resent it in a proper manner; however, be a.s.sured, gentlemen never laugh at or ridicule one another, unless they are in joke, or on a footing of the greatest intimacy. If such a thing should happen once in an age, from some pert c.o.xcomb, or some flippant woman, it is better not to seem to know it, than to make the least reply.

63. It is a piece of politeness not to interrupt a person in a story, whether you have heard it before or not. Nay, if a well-bred man is asked whether he has heard it, he will answer no, and let the person go on, though he knows it already. Some are fond of telling a story, because they think they tell it well; others pride themselves in being the first teller of it, and others are pleased at being thought entrusted with it. Now, all these persons you would disappoint by answering yes; and, as I have told you before, as the greatest proof of politeness is to make every body happy about you, I would never deprive a person of any secret satisfaction of this sort, when I could gratify by a minute's attention.

64. Be not ashamed of asking questions, if such questions lead to information: always accompany them with some excuse, and you will never be reckoned impertinent. But, abrupt questions, without some apology, by all means avoid, as they imply design. There is a way of fishing for facts, which, if done judiciously, will answer every purpose, such as taking things you wish to know for granted: this will, perhaps, lead some officious person to set you right. So again, by saying, you have heard so and so, and sometimes seeming to know more than you do, you will often get an information, which you would lose by direct questions, as these would put people upon their guard, and frequently defeat the very end you aim at.

65. Make it a rule never to reflect on any body of people, for by this means you will create a number of enemies. There are good and bad of all professions, lawyers, soldiers, parsons or citizens. They are all men, subject to the same pa.s.sions, differing only in their manner according to the way they have been bred up in. For this reason, it is unjust, as well as indiscreet, to attack them as a _corps_ collectively. Many a young man has thought himself extremely clever in abusing the clergy.

What are the clergy more than other men? Can you suppose a black gown can make any alteration in his nature? Fie, fie, think seriously, and I am convinced you will never do it.

66. But above all, let no example, no fashion, no witticism, no foolish desire of rising above what knaves call prejudices, tempt you to excuse, extenuate or ridicule the least breach of morality, but upon every occasion shew the greatest abhorrence of such proceedings, and hold virtue and religion in the highest veneration.

It is a great piece of ill-manners to interrupt any one while speaking, by speaking yourself, or calling off the attention of the company to any foreign matter. But this every child knows.

67. The last thing I shall mention, is that of concealing your learning, except on particular occasions. Reserve this for learned men, and let them rather extort it from you, than you be too willing to display it.

Hence you will be thought modest, and to have more knowledge than you really have. Never seem more wise or learned than the company you are in. He who affects to shew his learning, will be frequently questioned; and if found superficial, will be sneered at; if otherwise, he will be deemed a pedant. Real merit will always shew itself, and nothing can lessen it in the opinion of the world, but a man's exhibiting it himself.

For G.o.d's sake, revolve all these things seriously in your mind, before you go abroad into life. Recollect the observations you have yourself occasionally made upon men and things; compare them with my instructions, and act wisely and consequentially, as they shall teach you.

_Entrance upon the World_.

1. Curino was a young man brought up to a reputable trade; the term of his apprenticeship was almost expired, and he was contriving how he might venture into the world with safety, and pursue business with innocence and success.

2. Among his near kindred, Serenus was one, a gentleman of considerable character in the sacred profession; and after he had consulted with his father, who was a merchant of great esteem and experience, he also thought fit to seek a word of advice from the divine.

3. Serenus had such a respect for his young kinsman, that he set his thought at work on this subject, and with some tender expressions, which melted the youth into tears, he put into his hand a paper of his best counsels. Curino entered upon business, pursued his employment with uncommon advantage, and, under the blessing of Heaven, advanced himself to a considerable estate.

4. He lived with honour in the world, and gave a l.u.s.tre to the religion which he professed; and after a long life of piety and usefulness, he died with a sacred composure of soul, under the influences of the Christian hope.

5. Some of his neighbours wondered at his felicity in this world, joined with so much innocence, and such severe virtue; but after his death this paper was found in his closet, which was drawn up by his kinsman in holy orders, and was supposed to have a large share in procuring his happiness.

_Advice to a young Man._

1. I presume you desire to be happy here and hereafter; you know there are a thousand difficulties which attend this pursuit; some of them perhaps you foresee, but there are mult.i.tudes which you could never think of. Never trust therefore to your own understanding in the things of this world, where you can have the advice of a wise and faithful friend; nor dare venture the more important concerns of your soul, and your eternal interests in the world to come, upon the mere light of nature, and the dictates of your own reason; since the word of G.o.d, and the advice of Heaven, lies in your hands. Vain and thoughtless indeed are those children of pride, who chuse to turn heathens in America; who live upon the mere religion of nature and their own stock, when they have been trained up among all these superior advantages of Christianity, and the blessings of divine revelation and grace!

2. Whatsoever your circ.u.mstances may be in this world, still value your bible as your best treasure; and whatsoever be your employment here, still look upon religion as your best business. Your bible contains eternal life in it, and all the riches of the upper world; and religion is the only way to become the possessor of them.

3. To direct your carriage towards G.o.d, converse particularly with the book of Psalms; David was a man of sincere and eminent devotion. To behave aright among men, acquaint yourself with the whole book of Proverbs: Solomon was a man of large experience and wisdom. And to perfect your directions in both these, read the Gospels and Epistles; you will find the best of rules and the best of examples there, and those more immediately suited to the Christian life.

4. As a man, maintain strict temperance and sobriety, by a wise government of your appet.i.tes and pa.s.sions; as a neighbour, influence and engage all around you to be your friends, by a temper and carriage made up of prudence and goodness; and let the poor have a certain share in all your yearly profits; as a trader, keep that golden sentence of our Saviour's ever before you. Whatsoever you "would that men should do unto you, do you also unto them."

5. While you make the precepts of scripture the constant rule of your duty, you may with courage rest upon the promises of scripture as the springs of your encouragement; all divine a.s.sistances and divine recompenses are contained in them. The spirit of light and grace is promised to a.s.sist them that ask it. Heaven and glory are promised to reward the faithful and the obedient.

6. In every affair of life, begin with G.o.d; consult him in every thing that concerns you; view him as the author of all your blessings, and all your hopes, as your best friend, and your eternal portion. Meditate on him in this view, with a continual renewal of your trust in him, and a daily surrender of yourself to him, till you feel that you love him most entirely, that you serve him with sincere delight, and that you cannot live a day without G.o.d in the world.

7. You know yourself to be a man, an indigent creature and a sinner, and you profess to be a Christian, a disciple of the blessed Jesus, but never think you know Christ or yourself as you ought till you find a daily need of him for righteousness and strength, for pardon and sanctification; and let him be your constant introducer to the great G.o.d, though he sits upon a throne of grace. Remember his own words, _John_ xiv 6. "No man cometh to the father but by me."

8. Make prayer a pleasure, and not a task, and then you will not forget nor omit it. If ever you have lived in a praying family, never let it be your fault if you do not live in one always. Believe that day, that hour, or those minutes to be wasted and lost, which any worldly pretences would tempt you to save out of the public worship of the church, the certain and constant duties of the closet, or any necessary services for G.o.d and G.o.dliness; beware lest a blast attend it, and not a blessing. If G.o.d had not reserved one day in seven to himself, I fear religion would have been lost out of the world; and every day of the week is exposed to a curse which has no morning religion.

9. See that you watch and labour, as well as pray; diligence and dependence must he united in the practice of every Christian. It is the same wise man acquaints us, that the hand of the diligent, and the blessing of the Lord, join together to make us rich, _Prov_. x. 4. 22.

Rich in the treasures of body or mind, of time or eternity.

It is your duty indeed, under a sense of your own weakness, to pray daily against sin; but if you would effectually avoid it, you must also avoid temptation, and every dangerous opportunity. Set a double guard wheresoever you feel or suspect an enemy at hand. The world without, and the heart within, have so much flattery and deceit in them, that we must keep a sharp eye upon both, lest we are trapt into mischief between them.

10. Honour, profit, and pleasure, have been sometimes called the world's Trinity; they are its three chief idols; each of them is sufficient to draw a soul off from G.o.d, and ruin it for ever. Beware of them, therefore, and of all their subtle insinuations, if you would be innocent or happy.

Remember that the honour which comes from G.o.d, the approbation of Heaven, and your own conscience, are infinitely more valuable than all the esteem or applause of men. Dare not venture one step out of the road of Heaven, for fear of being laughed at for walking strictly in it, it is a poor religion that cannot stand against a jest.

Sell not your hopes of heavenly treasures, nor any thing that belongs to your eternal interest, for any of the advantages of the present life; "What shall it profit a man to gain the world and lose his own soul."

Remember also the words of the wise man, "He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man;" he that indulges himself in "wine and oil," that is, in drinking, in feasting, and in sensual gratifications, "shall not be rich." It is one of St. Paul's characters of a most degenerate age, when "men become lovers of pleasure more than lovers of G.o.d." And that "fleshly l.u.s.ts war against the soul," is St. Peter's caveat to the Christians of his time.

11. Preserve your conscience always soft and sensible; if but one sin force its way into that tender part of the soul, and dwell easy there, the road is paved for a thousand; iniquities.

And take heed that under any scruple, doubt, or temptation whatsoever, you never let any reasonings satisfy your conscience, which will not be a sufficient answer of apology to the great Judge at the last day.

12. Keep this thought ever in your mind. It is a world of vanity and vexation in which you live; the flatteries and promises of it are vain and deceitful; prepare, therefore, to meet disappointments. Many of its occurrences are teazing and vexatious. In every ruffling storm without, possess your spirit in patience, and let all be calm and serene within.

Clouds and tempests are only found in the lower skies; the heavens above are ever bright and clear. Let your heart and hope dwell much in these serene regions; live as a stranger here on earth, but as a citizen of heaven, if you will maintain a soul at ease.

13. Since in many things we offend all, and there is not a day pa.s.ses which is perfectly free from sin, let "repentance towards G.o.d, and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ," be your daily work. A frequent renewal of these exercises which make a Christian at first, will be a constant evidence of your sincere Christianity, and give you peace in life, and hope in death.

14. Ever carry about with you such a sense of the uncertainty of every thing in this life, and of life itself, as to put nothing off till to-morrow, which you can conveniently do to-day. Dilatory persons are frequently exposed to surprise and hurry in every thing that belongs to them; the time is come, and they are unprepared. Let the concerns of your soul and your shop, your trade and your religion, lie always in such order, as far as possible, that death, at a short warning, may be no occasion of a disquieting tumult in your spirit, and that you may escape the anguish of a bitter repentance in a dying hour. Farewel.

Phronimus, a considerable East-land merchant, happened upon a copy of these advices, about the time when he permitted his son to commence a partnership with him in his trade; he transcribed them with his own hand, and made a present of them to the youth, together with the articles of partnership. Here, young man, said he, is a paper of more worth than these articles. Read it over once a month, till it is wrought in your very soul and temper. Walk by these rules, and I can trust my estate in your hands. Copy out these counsels in your life, and you will make me and yourself easy and happy.

_The Vision of Mirza, exhibiting a Picture of Human Life._

1. On the fifth day of the moon, which, according to the custom of my forefathers, I always keep holy, after having washed myself, and offered up my morning devotions, I ascended the high hills of Bagdat, in order to pa.s.s the rest of the day in meditation and prayer. As I was here airing myself on the tops of the mountains, I fell into a profound contemplation on the vanity of human life; and pa.s.sing from one thought to another, surely, said I, man is but a shadow, and life a dream.

2. Whilst I was thus musing, I cast my eyes towards the summit of a rock that was not far from me, where I discovered one in the habit of a shepherd, with a little musical instrument in his hand. As I looked upon him, he applied it to his lips, and began to play upon it. The sound of it was exceeding sweet, and wrought into a variety of tunes that were inexpressibly melodious, and altogether different from any thing I had ever heard: they put me in mind of those heavenly airs that are played to the departed souls of good men upon their first arrival in Paradise, to wear out the impressions of the last agonies, and qualify them for the pleasures of that happy place. My heart melted away in secret raptures.

3. I had often been told that the rock before me was the haunt of a genius; and that several had been entertained with that music, who had pa.s.sed by it, but never heard that the musician had before made himself visible. When he had raised my thoughts by those transporting airs which he played, to taste the pleasures of his conversation, as I looked upon him like one astonished, he beckoned to me, and, by the waving of his hand, directed me to approach the place where he sat.