The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb Volume IV Part 55

BELVIL Such a thing has been known as a name to be changed; but not by a subject--(_shews a Gazette_).

MR. H.

Gnawing at the root (_suddenly s.n.a.t.c.hes the paper out of Belvil's hand_); ha! pish! nonsense! give it me--what! (_reads_) promotions, bankrupts--a great many bankrupts this week--there it will lie (_lays it down, takes it up again, and reads_) "The King has been graciously pleased"--gnawing at the root--"graciously pleased to grant unto John Hogsflesh"--the devil--"Hogsflesh, Esq., of Sty Hall, in the county of Hants, his royal licence and authority"--O Lord! O Lord!--"that he and his issue"--me and my issue--"may take and use the surname and arms of Bacon"--Bacon, the surname and arms of Bacon--"in pursuance of an injunction contained in the last will and testament of Nicholas Bacon, Esq. his late uncle, as well as out of grateful respect to his memory:"--grateful respect! poor old soul----here's more--"and that such arms may be first duly exemplified"--they shall, I will take care of that--"according to the laws of arms, and recorded in the Herald's Office."

BELVIL Come, Madam, give me leave to put my own interpretation upon your silence, and to plead for my friend, that now that only obstacle which seemed to stand in your way of your union is removed, you will suffer me to complete the happiness which my news seems to have brought him, by introducing him with a new claim to your favour, by the name of Mr.

Bacon.

(_Takes their hands and joins them, which Melesinda seems to give consent to with a smile_.)

MR. H.

Generous Melesinda!--my dear friend--"he and his issue," me and my issue--O Lord!--

BELVIL I wish you joy, Jack, with all my heart.

MR. H.

Bacon, Bacon, Bacon--how odd it sounds. I could never be tired of hearing it. There was Lord Chancellor Bacon. Methinks I have some of the Verulam blood in me already--methinks I could look through Nature--there was Friar Bacon, a conjurer--I feel as if I could conjure too--

_Enter a Servant_.

SERVANT Two young ladies and an old lady are at the door, enquiring if you see company, Madam.

MR. H.

"Surname and arms"--

MELESINDA Shew them up.--My dear Mr. Bacon, moderate your joy.

_Enter three Ladies, being part of those who were at the a.s.sembly._

FIRST LADY My dear Melesinda, how do you do?

SECOND LADY How do you do? We have been so concerned for you--

OLD LADY

We have been so concerned--(_seeing him_)--Mr. Hogsflesh--

MR. H.

There's no such person--nor there never was--nor 'tis not fit there should be--"surname and arms"--

BELVIL It is true what my friend would express; we have been all in a mistake, ladies. Very true, the name of this gentleman was what you call it, but it is so no longer. The succession to the long-contested Bacon estate is at length decided, and with it my friend succeeds to the name of his deceased relative.

MR. H.

"His Majesty has been graciously pleased"--

FIRST LADY I am sure we all join in hearty congratulation--(_sighs_).

SECOND LADY And wish you joy with all our hearts--(_heigh ho_!)

OLD LADY And hope you will enjoy the name and estate many years--(_cries_).

BELVIL Ha! ha! ha! mortify them a little, Jack.

FIRST LADY Hope you intend to stay--

SECOND LADY With us some time--

OLD LADY In these parts--

MR. H.

Ladies, for your congratulations I thank you; for the favours you have lavished on me, and in particular for this lady's (_turning to the old Lady_) good opinion, I rest your debtor. As to any future favours--(_accosts them severally in the order in which he was reftised by them at the a.s.sembly_)--Madam, shall always acknowledge your politeness; but at present, you see, I am engaged with a partner. Always be happy to respect you as a friend, but you must not look for any thing further. Must beg of you to be less particular in your addresses to me. Ladies all, with this piece of advice, of Bath and you

Your ever grateful servant takes his leave.

Lay your plans surer when you plot to grieve; See, while you kindly mean to mortify Another, the wild arrow do not fly, And gall yourself. For once you've been mistaken; Your shafts have miss'd their aim--Hogsflesh has saved his Bacon.

THE p.a.w.nBROKER'S DAUGHTER

A FARCE

(1825)

CHARACTERS

FLINT, _a p.a.w.nbroker._ DAVENPORT, _in love with Marian._ PENDULOUS, _a Reprieved Gentleman._ CUTLET, _a Sentimental Butcher._ GOLDING, _a Magistrate._ WILLIAM, _Apprentice to Flint._ BEN, _Cutlet's Boy._ MISS FLYN.

BETTY, _her Maid._ MARIAN, _Daughter to Flint._ LUCY, _her Maid._

ACT I.

SCENE I.--_An Apartment at Flint's house._

FLINT. WILLIAM.