The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb Volume IV Part 36

PETER Thank you, Francis. And here's to thee. (_Drinks._)

MARTIN I shall be fuddled anon.

DANIEL And drunkenness I hold to be a very despicable vice.

ALL O! a shocking vice. (_They drink round._)

PETER In as much as it taketh away the understanding.

DANIEL And makes the eyes red.

PETER And the tongue to stammer.

DANIEL And to blab out secrets.

(_During this conversation they continue drinking._)

PETER Some men do not know an enemy from a friend when they are drunk.

DANIEL Certainly sobriety is the health of the soul.

MARTIN Now I know I am going to be drunk.

DANIEL How can'st tell, dry-bones?

MARTIN Because I begin to be melancholy. That's always a sign.

FRANCIS Take care of Martin, he'll topple off his seat else.

(_Martin drops asleep._)

PETER Times are greatly altered, since young master took upon himself the government of this household.

ALL Greatly altered.

FRANCIS I think every thing be altered for the better since His Majesty's blessed restoration.

PETER In Sir Walter's days there was no encouragement given to good house-keeping.

ALL None.

DANIEL

For instance, no possibility of getting drunk before two in the afternoon.

PETER

Every man his allowance of ale at breakfast--his quart!

ALL A quart!! (_in derision_.)

DANIEL Nothing left to our own sweet discretions.

PETER Whereby it may appear, we were treated more like beasts than what we were--discreet and reasonable serving-men.

ALL Like beasts.

MARTIN (_Opening his eyes_.) Like beasts.

DANIEL To sleep, wag-tail!

FRANCIS I marvel all this while where the old gentleman has found means to secrete himself. It seems no man has heard of him since the day of the King's return. Can any tell why our young master, being favoured by the court, should not have interest to procure his father's pardon?

DANIEL Marry, I think 'tis the obstinacy of the old Knight, that will not be beholden to the court for his safety.

MARTIN Now that is wilful.

FRANCIS But can any tell me the place of his concealment?

PETER That cannot I; but I have my conjectures.

DANIEL Two hundred pounds, as I hear, to the man that shall apprehend him.

FRANCIS Well, I have my suspicions.

PETER And so have I.

MARTIN And I can keep a secret.

FRANCIS (_To Peter_.) Warwickshire you mean. (_Aside_.)

PETER Perhaps not.

FRANCIS Nearer perhaps.

PETER I say nothing.

DANIEL I hope there is none in this company would be mean enough to betray him.

ALL O Lord, surely not. (_They drink to Sir Walter's safety_.)

FRANCIS I have often wondered how our master came to be excepted by name in the late Act of Oblivion.

DANIEL Shall I tell the reason?

ALL Aye, do.

DANIEL 'Tis thought he is no great friend to the present happy establishment.