The Works of Aphra Behn Volume Iv Part 82

[_Whiff_ sits on the Ground with a Bottle of Brandy.

_Whim._ A Morsel, a Morsel.

_Well._ I am for an attack, what say you, Gentlemen, to an attack?--What, silent all? What say you, Major?

_Dull._ I say, Sir, I hope my Courage was never in dispute. But, Sir, I am going to marry Colonel _Downright's_ Daughter here--and should I be slain in this Battle 'twould break her Heart;--besides, Sir, I should lose her Fortune.

[Speaks big.

_Well._ I'm sure here's a Captain will never flinch. [To _Whim._

_Whim._ Who, I, an't like your Honour?

_Well._ Ay, you.

_Whim._ Who, I? ha, ha, ha: Why, did your Honour think that I would fight?

_Well._ Fight! yes; why else do you take Commissions?

_Whim._ Commissions! Oh Lord, O Lord, take Commissions to fight! ha, ha, ha; that's a jest, if all that take Commissions should fight--

_Well._ Why do you bear Arms then?

_Whim._ Why, for the Pay; to be called Captain, n.o.ble Captain, to show, to c.o.c.k and look big, and bluff as I do: to be bow'd to thus as we pa.s.s, to domineer and beat our Soldiers: Fight, quoth a, ha, ha, ha.

_Friend._ But what makes you look so simply, Cornet?

_Tim._ Why, a thing that I have quite forgot, all my Accounts for _England_ are to be made up, and I'm undone if they be neglected--else I wou'd not flinch for the stoutest he that wears a Sword-- [Looking big.

_Down._ What say you, Captain _Whiff_? [_Whiff_ almost drunk.

_Whiff._ I am trying, Colonel, what Mettle I'm made on; I think I am valiant, I suppose I have Courage, but I confess 'tis a little of the D---- breed, but a little inspiration from the Bottle, and the leave of my _Nancy_, may do wonders.

Enter a _Seaman_ in haste.

_Sea._ An't please your Honours, _Frightall's_ Officers have seiz'd all the Ships in the River, and rid now round the Sh.o.r.e, and had by this time secur'd the sandy Beach, and landed Men to fire the Town, but that they are high in drink aboard the Ship call'd the Good-Subject; the Master of her sent me to let your Honours know, that a few Men sent to his a.s.sistance will surprize them and retake the Ships.

_Well._ Now, Gentlemen, here is a brave occasion for Emulation--why writ not the Master?

_Dull._ Ay, had he writ, I had soon been amongst them, i'faith; but this is some Plot to betray us.

_Sea._ Keep me here, and kill me if it be not true.

_Down._ He says well--there's a Brigantine and a Shallop ready, I'll embark immediately.

_Friend._ No, Sir, your Presence is here more necessary, let me have the Honour of this Expedition.

_Haz._ I'll go your Volunteer, _Charles_.

_Well._ Who else offers to go?

_Whim._ A mere Trick to kidnap us, by _Bacon_,--if the Captain had writ.

_Tim._ Ay, ay, if he had writ--

_Well._ I see you're all base Cowards, and here cashier ye from all Commands and Offices.

_Whim._ Look ye, Colonel, you may do what you please, but you lose one of the best dress'd Officers in your whole Camp, Sir.

_Tim._ And in me, such a Head-piece.

_Whiff._ I'll say nothing, but let the State want me.

_Dull._ For my part I am weary of weighty Affairs.

[In this while _Well._ _Down._ _Friend._ and _Haz._ talk.

_Well._ Command what Men you please, but Expedition makes you half a Conqueror.

[Ex. _Friend._ and _Haz._

Enter another _Seaman_ with a Letter, gives it to _Downright_, he and _Wellman_ read it.

_Down._ Look ye now, Gentlemen, the Master has writ.

_Dull._ Has he--he might have writ sooner, while I was in Command,--if he had--

_Whim._ Ay, Major--if he had--but let them miss us.

_Well._ Colonel, haste with your Men, and reinforce the Beach, while I follow with the Horse;--Mr. _Dunce_, pray let that Proclamation be read concerning _Bacon_, to the Soldiers.

[Ex. _Down._ and _Well._

_Dun._ It shall be done, Sir. Gentlemen, how simply you look now.

_The Scene opens and discovers a Body of Soldiers._

_Tim._ Why, Mr. Parson, I have a scruple of Conscience upon me, I am considering whether it be lawful to kill, though it be in War; I have a great aversion to't, and hope it proceeds from Religion.

_Whiff._ I remember the Fit took you just so when the _Dutch_ besieged us, for you cou'd not then be persuaded to strike a stroke.

_Tim._ Ay, that was because they were Protestants as we are; but, Gads zoors, had they been _Dutch_ Papists I had maul'd them: but Conscience--

_Whim._ I have been a Justice of Peace this six Years, and never had a Conscience in my Life.

_Tim._ Nor I neither, but in this d.a.m.n'd thing of fighting.

_Dun._ Gentlemen, I am commanded to read the Declaration of the honourable Council to you.

[To the Soldiers.

_All._ Hum, hum, hum--