The Works of Aphra Behn Volume Iii Part 31

_Fran_. May be you are, Sir--but Youth you know-- Opportunity--Occasion--or so--there are Winks, and Nods, and Signs, and Twirs--and--well--in short I am satisfied, and they that are not may go whistle: and so I'll to my Wife, whom I have left too long alone, evil thoughts will grow upon her--Wife, Love--Duckling-- [_Calls her_.

_Enter_ Julia _and_ Jacinta.

_Bal_. Wou'd I had never married her to this Sot.

_Jul_. Your pleasure, Sir.

_Fran_. Only to see thee, Love.

_Jul_. I have a Suit to you.

_Fran_. What is't, my Chicken.

_Jul_. I wou'd go make a Visit to my Aunt, my Sister _Clara's_ there, and I'll go fetch her home.

_Fran_. Hum--perhaps the Governor's there too?

_Jul_. What if he be? we ought to make him a visit too, who so kindly sent for us to _Cadiz_.

_Fran_. How! Make a visit to the Governor? What have I to do with the Governor, or what have you to do with the Governor? you are no Soldier, Love. As for a Visit to your Aunt, there's some reason in't; but for the Governor, think no more upon him, I say no more.

_Jul_. Since he's to marry my Sister, why shou'd you refuse him that Civility.

_Fran_. Your Sister, so much the worse.

_Jul_. So much the worse?

_Fran_. I, so much the worse, I tell you; for mark me, you have been Lovers lately; and old Stories may arise that are not yet forgotten; and having under the Cloke of a Husband both Sisters at command, one for a Wife, t'other for a Mistress, hoyte toyte, there will be mad work, i'faith; What a mixture of Brother by the Father's side, and Uncle by the Mother's side there will be; Aunt by the Mother's side, and Sister by the Father's side; a man may find as good kindred amongst a kennel of Beagles.--No, no, no Visits to the Governor, I beseech you, fair Madam.

_Bal_. So, you are at your Jealousy again.

_Fran_. Come, come, I love plain dealing; besides, when she named the Governor, Flesh and Blood could not contain.

_Jul_. I spoke in reference to his Quality.

_Fran_. A Pox of your Civility; I tell you, I scorn my Wife should be civil. Why, what a Coil's here about a Governor! I'll stand to't, a Man had better have a Mule to his Wife than a Woman, and 'twere easier govern'd.

_Bal_. But hear reason, Son.

_Fran_. What, from a Woman and a Wife? Lord, Lord, where are your Wits, good Father-in-Law? Why, what a Devil, shall I be made ridiculous, a c.o.xcomb, Cuckold, to shew my Wife? No, no, there's no Necessity of your Civility, Mistress; leave that to me who understand the due Punctilios of it.

_Bal_. Harkye, Son, Harkye!

_Fran_. Father mine, every Man to his business, I say, therefore say no more of this; for I'll give my Mother's Son to the Devil, when any Wife of mine ever makes a Visit to the Governor; and there's an end on't. Was ever so horrid a Plot contriv'd against her own lawful Husband? Visit the Governor with a Pox!

_Bal_. 'Tis an Honour due to all Men of his Rank.

_Fran_. I care not for that, my opinion is, my Wife's my Slave, and let him keep his Rank to himself.

_Enter_ Guzman.

[Fran. _gets his Wife behind him, and fences her with his Cloke_.

_Guz_. He's here, and with his Wife; how shall I do to deliver my Letter to her;--Sir, by the order of my Master, Don _Carlos_, the Governour, I am commanded to come hither to the end that, going from hence, and returning to my Master, I may be able to inform him--

_Fran_. That I am in health,--very well, I was afraid he wou'd have been harping upon my Wife in the first place--the Devil take her, she looks for't. [_Makes signs to have her gone_.

_Guz_. Farther, Sir, he kisses your hand, with a more than ordinary friendship.

_Fran_. A Pox of his Compliments.-- [_Aside_.

_Guz_. But he charg'd me, Sir, most pa.s.sionately to present his Service to your Lady.

_Fran_. Yes, yes; I thought as much.

_Guz_.--In a more particular manner.

_Fran_. Friend, my Wife, or Lady, has no need of his Service in a more particular manner, and so you may return it.

_Jac_. Indeed, but she has great need of his service in a very particular manner.

_Guz_. Sir, I meant no hurt, but 'tis always the fashion of your true bred Courtier, to be more ceremonious in his Civilities to Ladies than Men;--and he desires to know how she does.

_Fran_. How strong this _Carlos_ smells of the Devil--Friend, tell your Master she's very well, but since she was married, she has forgot her gentile Civility and good Manners, and never returns any Compliments to Men.

_Guz_.--How shall I get it to her?--Sir, the Governor hopes he shall have the honour of entertaining you both at his House. He's impatient of your coming, and waits at home on purpose.

_Fran_. Friend, let your Master know we are here in very good quarters already, and he does us both too much honour; and that if we have notice of the Wedding-day, and I have nothing else to do, we'll certainly wait on him, and the next morning we intend to take our leaves, which I send him word of beforehand to prevent surprize.

_Guz_. But, Sir--

[_Approaching him, he puts his Wife farther_.

_Fran_. Go, Sir, and deliver your Message.

_Guz_. But I have order, Sir--

_Fran_. There's no such thing in this World.

_Guz_. I'm resolv'd to teaze him, if I can do nothing else, in revenge;--But, Sir, he most earnestly desires to entertain your fair Lady in his own house.

_Fran_. Yes, yes; I know he does; but I'll give him to the Devil first.--Troth, Sir, this _Cadiz_ Air does not agree with my fair Lady, she has ventured out but once, and has got an Ague already.

_Guz_. Agues, Sir, are kind Diseases, they allow of Truces and Cessations.

_Fran_. No, no; she has no Cessation, Friend, her Ague takes her night and day, it shakes her most unmercifully, and it shall shake her till the Wedding-day.

_Guz_. Were this Fellow to be tried by a Jury of Women, I would not be in his Coat to lie with his Lady.--What shall I do to deliver this Letter?--Well, Sir, since I see you are so averse to what the Governor desires, I'll return--but, Sir, I must tell you as a Friend, a Secret; that to a man of your temper may concern you;--Sir,--he's resolv'd when he comes next to visit his Mistress, to make another visit to your Apartment, to your Lady too.