The Works of Aphra Behn Volume Ii Part 111

_Gal_. How now, what have we here?

Sir _Sig_. Speak of the Devil, and he appears.

[_Pulls his Governour forward_.

_Tick_. I am undone,--but, good Sir _Signal_, do not cry Wh.o.r.e first, as the old Proverb says.

Sir _Sig_. And good Mr. Governour, as another old Proverb says, do not let the Kettle call the Pot black-a.r.s.e!--

_Fil_. How came you hither, Gentlemen?

Sir _Sig_. Why faith, Sir, divining of a Wedding or two forward, I brought Mr. Chaplain to give you a cast of his Office, as the saying is.

_Fil_. What, without Book, Mr. _Tickletext_?

_Cor_. How now, sure you mistake, these are two Lovers of mine.

Sig _Sig_. How, Sir, your Lovers! we are none of those, Sir, we are _Englishmen_.

_Gal_. You mistake, Sir _Signal_, this is _Silvianetta_.

Sir _Sig_. and _Tick_. How! [_Aside_.

_Gal_. Here's another Spark of your acquaintance,--do you know him?

_Tick_. How, _Barberacho_! nay, then all will out.--

_Gal_. Yes, and your Fencing and Civility-Master.

Sir _Sig_. Ay,--Why, what, was it you that pickt our Pockets then, and cheated us?

_Gal_. Most d.a.m.nably,--but since 'twas for the supply of two fair Ladies, all shall be restor'd again.

_Tick_. Some comfort that.

_Fil_. Come, let's in and forgive all; 'twas but one Night's Intrigue, in which all were a little faulty.

Sir _Sig_. And Governour, pray let me have no more Domineering and Usurpation: but as we have hitherto been honest Brothers in Iniquity, so let's wink hereafter at each others Frailties;

Since Love and Women easily betray Man, From the grave Gown-man to the busy Lay-man.

EPILOGUE.

Spoken by Mr. _Smith_.

_So hard the times are, and so thin the Town, Though but one Playhouse, that must too lie down; And when we fail, what will the Poets do?

They live by us as we are kept by you: When we disband, they no more Plays will write, But make Lampoons, and libel ye in spite; Discover each false Heart that lies within, Nor Man nor Woman shall in private sin; The precise whoring Husband's haunts betray, Which the demurer Lady to repay, In his own coin does the just debt defray.

The brisk young Beauty linked to Lands and Age, Shuns the dull Property and strokes the youthful Page; And if the Stripling apprehend not soon, Turns him aside, and takes the brawny Groom; Whilst the kind Man so true a Husband proves, To think all's well done by the thing he loves; Knows he's a Cuckold, yet content to bear Whatever Heaven sends, or Horns or l.u.s.ty Heir.

Fops of all sorts he draws more artfully, Than ever on the Stage did_ Nokes or Leigh: _And Heaven be prais'd when these are Scarce, each Brother O' th' Pen contrives to set on one another.

These are the effects of angry Poets Rage, Driven from their Winter-Quarters on the Stage; And when we go, our Women vanish too, What will the well-fledg'd keeping Gallant do?

And where but here can he expect to find A gay young Damsel managed to his mind, Who ruins him, and yet seems wondrous kind?

One insolent and false, and what is worse, Governs his Heart, and manages his Purse; Makes him whatever she'd have him to believe, Spends his Estate, then learns him how to live?

I hope those weighty Considerations will Move ye to keep us altogether still; To treat us equal to our great Desert, And pay your Tributes with a franker Heart; If not, th' aforesaid Ills will come, and we must part_.