The Works of Aphra Behn Volume I Part 100

_Olin._ Good Lord, what Joys you have found out for the first Night of a young Bride and Bridegroom. Fiddles and Dancing, ha, ha, ha! they'll be much merrier by themselves, than Fiddles and Dancing can make them, you Fool.

Enter _Haunce_ and _Gload_.

Bless me! what is't I see! [Stares on _Haunce_.

_Hau._ Why! what the Devil means she? look about me, _Gload_, and see what I have that's so terrible.

_Olin._ Oh, I have no Power to stir, it is a Sprite.

_Hau._ What does she mean now, _Gload_?

_Glo._ She desires to be satisfy'd whether we be Flesh and Blood, Sir, I believe.

_Hau._ Do'st see nothing that's Devil-wise about me?

_Glo._ No, indeed, Sir, not I.

_Hau._ Why then the Wench is tippled, that's all, a small Fault.

_Olin._ O, in the name of Goodness, Sir, what are you?

_Glo._ Ay, Ay, Sir, 'tis that she desires to know.

_Olin._ Who are you, Sir?

_Hau._ Why who should I be, but he that's to be your Master anon?

_Glo._ Yes, who should he be but _Myn heer Haunce van Ezel_?

_Olin._ What, did you come in at the Door?

_Hau._ Yes, marry did I; what, do you think I creep in like a Lapland Witch through the Key-holes?

_Dor._ Nay, nay, this cannot be the Bridegroom.

_Olin._ No, for 'tis but a moment since we left him, you know, in my Lady's Chamber.

_Hau._ Very drunk, by this good Light.

_Dor._ And therefore it cannot be _Myn heer Haunce_.

_Hau._ What a Devil will you persuade me out of my Christian Name?

_Olin._ The Priest has yet scarce done his Office, who is marrying him above to my Lady.

_Hau._ _Salerimente_, here's brave doing, to marry me, and never give me notice; or thou art d.a.m.nable drunk, or very mad.

_Glo._ Yes, and I am married to you too, am I not?

[To _Olinda_.

_Olin._ You? we know neither of you.

_Hau._ Ha, ha, ha, here's a turn for you.

Enter _Carlo_.

_Car._ Why, _Olinda_, _Dorice_, _Olinda_, where be these mad Girls? 'tis almost Night, and nothing in Order. Why, what now? Who's here?

_Hau._ So the old Man's possest too-- Why, what a Devil ails you, Sir?

[Goes roughly to him.

_Car._ From whence come you, Sir? and what are you?

_Hau._ _Gload_, let's be gone, for we shall be transmigrated into some strange Shapes anon, for all the House is inchanted. Who am I, quoth ye?

before I came you all knew me; and now you are very well acquainted with me, you have forgot me.

_Car._ If you be my Son _Haunce_, how came you here?

_Hau._ If I be your Son _Haunce_, where should I be else?

_Car._ Above with your Wife, not below amongst the Maids.

_Hau._ What Wife? what Wife? Ha, ha, ha, do not provoke me, lest I take you a slap in the Face, I tell you that now.

_Car._ Oh, I find by his Humour this is he, and I am finely cheated and abus'd. I'll up and know the Truth.

[Goes out.

_Hau._ And so will I. [Follows.

_Glo._ Why, but Mistress _Olinda_, you have not, indeed, forgot me, have you?

_Olin._ For my Lover I have, but perhaps I may call you to mind, as my Servant hereafter.

_Glo._ Since you are so proud and so fickle, you shall stand hereafter as a Cypher with me; and I'll begin upon a new Account with this pretty Maid: what say you forsooth?

_Dor._ I am willing enough to get a Husband as young as I am.

_Glo._ Why, that's well said, give your Hand upon the Bargain-- G.o.d-ha'-Mercy, with all my Heart, i'faith.

[Go in.

[Scene draws off, discovers a Chamber. Enter _Alonzo_, _Euphemia_, and _Lovis_; to them _Carlo_, _Haunce_, and the rest.

_Car._ Oh, I am cheated, undone, abus'd.

_Lov._ How, Sir, and where?

[_Haunce_ sees _Alonzo_ drest like him, goes gazing about him, and on himself, calling _Gload_ to do the same.

_Car._ Nay, I know not how, or where; but so I am: and when I find it, I'll turn you all out of Doors. Who are you, Sir? quickly tell me.

_Alon._ If you be in such haste, take the shortest Account, I am your Son.