The Winter Moon's Wolf Part 8

"Did you share this?"

"No. I bought this after Daniel died." He fiddled with the buckle. "I appreciate your help today. I know I said thank you, but I mean it. You saved me again." He grinned loosely. "You're getting way too much practice at it for my liking."

Cade reached but his hand halted midair. "I owe you an apology, a big one, for earlier today."

"Forgotten." Dean hit the release on the belt.

"It's not that easy." He looked around at the fairly quiet street. "Can we talk inside?"

Dean shrugged. "Sure."

Cade followed, wondering how he was going to fix that morning's f.u.c.kups, and what he was going to say. How much How much he was going to say. he was going to say.

Dean unlocked the front door and let Cade in to shut it behind them. He unclasped his coat and hung it on a single standing rack, checking the smears on the back. "I'll have to take this to the cleaners. That is nasty." He faced Cade. "What did you want to say?"

Cade swallowed, actually feeling it when Dean's gaze locked with his. His toes tingled. His His f.u.c.king toes. f.u.c.king toes. "I don't know how to do this," he finally pushed past his lips. "I don't know how to do this," he finally pushed past his lips.

"What? Be friends?" Dean's brow furrowed.

Cade closed his eyes, reopening them a few seconds later. "No." He stiffened his spine, both physically and mentally. "Being gay has never been an option."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "It's not an option."

Cade avoided that stare; it knifed straight through him. f.u.c.kup number three hundred and twelve. f.u.c.kup number three hundred and twelve. "No, it's not. But I tried to make it one." He shoved his hands into coat pockets to hide the fists he was making. "I refused to be gay, so I wasn't," he explained. At the least, he'd refused to allow any interest in men. Too much he still had to sort in his own mind. He only hoped he could make a sound argument to get Dean's forgiveness. "No, it's not. But I tried to make it one." He shoved his hands into coat pockets to hide the fists he was making. "I refused to be gay, so I wasn't," he explained. At the least, he'd refused to allow any interest in men. Too much he still had to sort in his own mind. He only hoped he could make a sound argument to get Dean's forgiveness.

Dean canted his head to the side. "Refused? Is that even possible?"

Cade huffed. "I can see you have never visited the land of denial."

"No, I've known since Daniel and I were kids. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"Too many reasons," he admitted. "At least for right now."

Dean crossed his arms. "Not that tired. Try me."

Cade now wished he hadn't been so quick to start this. Wouldn't a solid apology have been enough? Now it was too late. Time to own up.

"My brother, for one. We've always been a tag team of sorts. One-upmanship was invented for us. He's found his mate...soul mate," he quickly corrected. Dean wasn't the only one feeling drained. Cade felt like he'd already gone rounds with Chris. Now... He had to be careful how to approach this. There was a s.h.i.tload more to this, and so much at risk. "And I'm the last one standing. Again."

"Ah. When you say you're last, that's what you mean. You're the youngest."

"Yeah." He stretched his shoulders, trying to alleviate the building tightness. "So, there's that. And I want children. I need a woman, a wife, for that."

"No you don't."

Cade groaned. "Okay, okay. Alternatives, I get it. But that's the tip of the whole iceberg. The two largest reasons." At least two that he was willing to admit to.

"So you felt to be equal and then better than your brother, you had to find a woman? Do you really think Chris feels that way?"

"No," he replied in confusion.

"Then you have no reason to either." When Cade opened his mouth, Dean cut him off. "Look, if anyone understands that sibling rivalry tie, I do. But hiding who you are is wrong. You have amazing brothers and an incredible family. I can guarantee not one of them will look at you differently...okay, maybe shocked, but not different different if you finally start being true to yourself." if you finally start being true to yourself."

"I don't know how to be gay. I don't even look gay!" He growled in exasperation.

A snicker and a raised eyebrow chastised him. "Oh? I look gay, do I? What gave it away? My rainbow farts?"

Cade blurted a laugh.

"No, I know. It was my trail of gold glitter, wasn't it? Did I have too much swish today?"

Cade cupped his chin to cover his mouth, chortling heartily. He turned away. "Stop!"

A firm tug on his elbow brought him front and center. "So what gave it away?" Dean asked with concerned gentleness. The absolute lack of anger was almost Cade's undoing.

Gasping, he took a few panted breaths. "Honestly, I thought you were straight until you said you weren't. Just very open-minded," he said when he could speak normally. "Still doesn't help me understand the how how of it." of it."

"I can't help you there."

That surprised Cade.

"It's too personal. It's a journey. Only you get to experience it." He scooted closer a couple of inches. "But unless this whole train wreck of you being an unmitigated a.s.shole has been a product of something else, and not me, I can share that journey with you."

Cade's heart tripped. Green eyes impaled him. The fear that Dean didn't like him, wasn't attracted to him, was smashed to little bits beneath that stare. He couldn't define what he'd been more scared of: being proven a fool, or baring himself after decades of refusing to acknowledge what he felt.

"Close your eyes."

Cade blinked. Then shivered.

"Do it," Dean commanded quietly.

Cautiously, Cade did. Fingernails bit into his palms where they remained curled in shuddering fists in his coat pockets. Blood rushed through his veins. Antic.i.p.ation, and a hint of wary fear roiled inside his chest like a pending storm.

"Relax," Dean offered. "Slow, easy breaths."

A small shiver slipped under Cade's skin at the timbre of his voice. He wasn't wasn't cold. cold.

He realized with no small amount of shock that it was turning him on, hearing him, finding his scent between them. Hearing Dean's own slow breathing.

"Relax."

The touch, when it happened, was feather light. A stroke of skin over his lip. He didn't know if Dean was kissing him, or if it was a fingertip.

He realized he didn't really care which it was.

"Still okay?"

Cade gulped, a harsh, hollow click following. He nodded when his voice couldn't be found.

"Keep your eyes closed. No pressure." More of the light caress. "Has any guy ever touched you?"

"No," he whispered hoa.r.s.ely.

"And you've never, either?"

He shook hard, rocking his stance.

"Easy. It's okay. Take your hands out of your pockets. Leave your eyes closed."

Stiffly, he managed to do as Dean asked. Harsh panting filled his ears. A needy void that had grown like a black hole over several months was suddenly calming. Dean continued to touch him, traced his lower lip, then his upper. Cade swore he was seducing him. The whole experience was surreal.

"Are you still hiding?" he asked kindly. "If this is what you've been missing, why fight it?"

"Because-"

"That argument is invalid. Try again." Wry humor. He couldn't see it, but he heard it.

"There's more that you don't know," he finally admitted. So d.a.m.n much more. So d.a.m.n much more.

"I know. This is a big step to make. It's a brave step. But lying about who you really are hurts yourself the most." The light tease of skin to flesh didn't stop, didn't speed up. "Do you trust me?"

Cade trembled. "Yes."

"Open your eyes."

Disoriented, he did. Dean still stood before him. Cade swore he felt body heat though he'd moved no closer. Gentle fingers ghosted over Cade's lips in b.u.t.terfly sweeps, letting him see what he'd been doing. Then his hand fell away. Neither blinked for several heartbeats. Dean watching for something Cade didn't know, and Cade waiting for the unknown. When it happened, he almost short circuited.

Dean tilted to close the distance between them and pressed warm lips to Cade's.

He stiffened in shock. His immediate reaction was to shove him away, to deny, but he caught himself.

Barely.

A flicker of eyelashes proved Dean had caught the lightning swift battle. He made no noise, made no demands. It was simply pressure. Warmth. It felt...different. Firmer. There was the rougher brush of skin. Staring into Dean's eyes was like staring over the edge of a steep cliff. Firmer. There was the rougher brush of skin. Staring into Dean's eyes was like staring over the edge of a steep cliff.

And Dean didn't move. Not forward, not away. Sharing s.p.a.ce and breath. The next action would be Cade's choice.

Heat replaced shock as time stood still. A heat unlike anything in his life exploded beneath his skin, bone deep. Slowly, his tripping heart found a rhythm.

And with the knowledge that Dean was as steady as a rock in this decision, he let his eyes close and he returned the kiss.

Chapter Seven.

Dean watched and waited. He couldn't push, no matter how desperately he wanted to shove the man he kissed into the door behind him and pin him there as he learned the contours of his mouth like a cave of secrets.

Then, Cade gave in. The tension that held him stiff and trembling melted away. The shape of his lips grew heady, drugging. His eyes drifted shut and a slow sigh filled the silence.

It was Cade who surprised him by taking the initiative of the next step. While Dean was staying pa.s.sive using only his mouth to hold contact, not wanting to shock him too deeply with the newfound discoveries, Cade lifted a hand and ran tentative fingers through the hair above his ear, like he was testing the feeling, testing the privilege. Dean leaned closer, encouraging his exploring. The firm stroke felt divine.

It was with deep reluctance that he pulled away from the kiss. He waited to see what Cade's reactions would be.

"I guess that answers that question," Cade said, his voice rumbling with a s.e.xy undertone that helped to alleviate Dean's darker worries. The pure vibration also sent a rush of need through his frame. "Definitely like that."

Dean smiled in relief. "That's good to know. I liked being on this end of it."

Cade touched fingertips to Dean's jaw, a connecting touch. "Why don't you get some sleep? I'll download the photos I took and send them to you."

Dean supposed that was his way of putting a little s.p.a.ce between them, giving himself a chance to regroup and digest. Cade frowned next, and then Dean found out why.

"I'm on shift this week at the veterinary clinic. Be careful, especially around Gemini's. Let me know what they say about the footprints behind the bar."

"I will. I'll call the arson investigator in the morning." Along with everyone who deserved one of Dean's boots up their collective a.s.ses. He noticed Cade was following the light, random flow of fingers to Dean's jaw, a sense of wonder in everything. "You in there?"

"I don't think so. Everything I knew for twenty-eight years has been completely rewritten."

"Does it feel wrong?" Dean asked. "Are you going back into hiding?"

Cade slowly raised from the stroke of those fingers to meet Dean's gaze. "No, and no. This is a step that can't be erased. It'll take time to adjust, that's all." A slow sigh escaped. "There is so much you need to know, I don't have any idea where to begin."

"Start here, now. One day at a time."

"I think I'm going to take that advice," he replied. "Can I try it again, make sure?"

"A kiss?" Dean chuckled throatily, warmth filling him when Cade gave him a hesitantly hungry expression that could only be read in one way.

With a firm hand on his shoulder, he backed Cade up to the door. "In case your legs start to feel weak," he warned.

"My legs?" He shook his head. "Not a fainting woman."

"I sure hope not," Dean replied with a bit more growl of his own in it. Cade's eyes flashed, then darkened. The speed with which Cade grew aroused stole his breath away. It sank deep into Dean's blood, knowing he made Cade feel like that. Being his first encounter was making him drunk to want more.

Dean threaded a hand under the heavy fall of his bound hair. He wanted it loose so badly, but knew today wasn't the day. "Find a comfortable place for your hands." Cautiously, they framed Dean's hips. He groaned quietly. "Perfect." He straddled Cade's thighs, locking them chest to chest, groin to groin. "How does that feel?"

"Unbelievable," Cade answered. "Unusual."

"It gets so much better."

"Yeah?" Cade replied on a slow breath.

"Oh, yeah." He wasn't going to point out that it felt like this with Cade still in his coat. The difference of skin to skin or merely less clothing might be too much to handle.

Dean found Cade's lips, coaxing him into a stronger kiss than their first. He couldn't wait for Cade's confidence to come to life and want to take control, but for now, Cade's kiss was the best known to all of history.