The Winter Moon's Wolf Part 4

"In case you were wondering, that was my brother's way of telling me to apologize."

Dean walked at Cade's shoulder. He knew Cade was a little taller, but now in sneakers, it wasn't as much as he'd originally thought. "Apologize for what?" He curled fingers into fists in his pockets to keep them warm.

"For being an a.s.s."

"We all have those days."

Cade opened the side door. "Yeah, but you didn't do anything to deserve it."

It was warmer in the barn. The scents of hay, grain, dust, and horse were thick in the air.

"So why ask me to come if you don't like me?" Dean figured he had a right to know.

"It's not that." Cade grumbled, snapping the carrots in half as they cleared the barn. "I've been dealing with a lot of s.h.i.t recently."

"Oh?"

Cade walked up to a stall where a monster black horse lazily watched them. He started feeding the behemoth the carrot halves. "This is Tiberius, or Bear. He's Chris' wagon horse. The kids love him."

"And the little guy?" A pert nose was pushing against the gate next to Bear's stall.

"Biscuit. They're best buds. Biscuit was a rescue. Chris took him in and he's been here since."

Dean scratched between Biscuit's ears. Cade had slid right past his curiosity, so he expected for him to continue to ignore it. Cade surprised him when he didn't.

"I don't know how to explain it."

"So try," Dean offered, keeping his focus on horse mane and ears to not add pressure to the man at his side.

"Chris has Jamie. Quade met Maya."

Dean understood. At least he thought this could be the problem. Cade had said he was the last man standing, so to speak. "And it's making you feel like you need to hurry up and find yours."

Cade snorted and leaned on his elbows a bit, petting Tiberius. "I guess."

"Are they pressuring you?"

"No."

Dean nodded, thinking. "So why the a.s.shole act?"

Cade's jaw worked back and forth.

"Okay, I get it. You have a gay brother. You don't want any of them thinking you're gay because you brought a male friend to breakfast. Is that it?" That irked him. Geez, the man had a gay brother, and friends. Did he really feel it was that much of an insult to be seen as gay himself?

"Chris knows I'm not."

Dean's hand faltered in its petting. Chris might know, but unless he was hearing things in the man's voice, Cade Cade wasn't as sure. Now he was even more confused, trying to understand what wasn't being said, or decide if he was imagining it. wasn't as sure. Now he was even more confused, trying to understand what wasn't being said, or decide if he was imagining it.

"Forget it." Cade stood straight and faced Dean. "It's not you. I do mean that. And I'm not sorry for bringing you. Or for being your friend."

"Friends?" He withheld the derisive snort. The man had had fed him after all. Not sure how much leeway he could grant aside from that though. fed him after all. Not sure how much leeway he could grant aside from that though.

"Yeah, man. We're friends." Cade gave him a smile. "It's my problem, not yours. It'll work itself out."

He patted at Biscuit again. "Tell me something."

"Shoot." He handed over a carrot so Biscuit could get some.

"Do you you have a problem with people being gay?" Dean kindly fed the patient animal. He seemed much calmer about it than the beast b.u.mping and chomping against Cade hunting for more. have a problem with people being gay?" Dean kindly fed the patient animal. He seemed much calmer about it than the beast b.u.mping and chomping against Cade hunting for more.

"Course not," he said. "Whoever makes you happy isn't my concern."

Dean tossed that around for a few minutes. "So it wouldn't matter to you if I was?"

"But you're not." Cade twisted to pierce him with turbulent, gray eyes. "Are you?"

"Depends. Are we still friends if I am?"

"What kind of a- Oh." Cade pulled his hands away from a nosing Bear demanding more carrots. He faced forward. "It doesn't matter to me."

Dean felt that wall go up so fast, the breeze moved his hair. Fine. He wasn't going to force anyone to like him. Wasn't going to force anyone to spend time with him, as a friend or whatever. He was sorry friendships were conditional with Cade. Especially considering his family, he really wouldn't have believed this of the man.

He sighed slowly. Never fails. Scorching hot and utterly unattainable. Not even as a friend. Why should Cade be any different from everyone else he'd known? Times like this made him miss Daniel that much more. Danny never would have left him, never would have turned his back on him.

"Ready for something hot?"

Dean patted Bear's broad face and scratched Biscuit's ear. "Yeah. I guess so." Then you can take me home. Then you can take me home.

He knew he'd never see Cade again. He may say one thing but his eyes, and everything else, said something completely different.

Chapter Four.

Cade helped Chris pitch hay down from the loft a week later. Christmas had come and gone. Snow a foot and a half thick covered the ground. Old Man Winter had officially moved in.

He'd spent a little longer with Chris and the gang on Christmas Eve morning, then had driven home so Dean could pick up his car. They'd said their goodbyes and he'd left.

Cade hadn't driven to Ca.s.san, hadn't been to Gemini's, and hadn't made any efforts to call the man.

It was Quade's week at the clinic, which meant Cade had the overnight short straw anyway. He didn't have the freedom freedom to drive to Ca.s.san. to drive to Ca.s.san.

At least that was what he told himself. So there hadn't been any after-hours emergencies fielded by the clinic. Didn't matter. He had to be there.

"Cade!"

He looked down over the edge, yelling down to his brother. "Yeah?"

"That's enough. We're good."

He spotted the stack against the wall. He'd lost track. "Okay." Instead of taking the ladder, he jumped, landing in a crouch. "Got it all where you want it?" he asked when he stood.

Chris nodded in answer. "Jamie wanted me to ask if you wanted to come by and watch the ball drop tonight. Quade pa.s.sed. Maya came down with a flu, so he's keeping up with her at home."

"That sucks. She's okay, though?" He tugged off his gloves, and shoved the pair into a rear pocket.

"Yeah, just miserable."

That was one good thing to be said about having lupine blood. They never got sick. "Anyone else?"

"Just friends."

"The usual suspects?" he joked. "Sure. I'm not going out anywhere on call. You don't get tired of Jamie doing this all the time?"

"What? Making us a family?" Chris jabbed Cade with a sharp elbow. "I love him for it. We need this. All of us. Just because I'm mated doesn't mean we stop being a family."

"We do stuff, all three of us."

"Running once a month doesn't count. But that's only us, too." Chris sat on a bale of hay. "This is something more. It's something he needs, too. A way to be needed and feel like he belongs. He can't shift, but he can be with the pack on his terms. This is one of those ways that helps him."

"Huh." Cade plopped down on a bale next to him. "I never really thought of it that way." It did make sense, though.

"He doesn't talk about his dad much."

"Can you blame him?" Cade pointed out. "He was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

Chris snorted and crossed his arms. "Don't have to tell me. I think this helps him because of the way his dad treated him. He likes having people here. And so long as they don't move in, I do too."

Cade punched Chris' shoulder affectionately. "Turning into the old married couple already."

"Shut up." He was grinning though. "So, put you down for one or two?"

"Just one."

Chris gave him a confused stare. "Where's Dean?"

Cade looked away, because something in the far corner was suddenly that that interesting. "I'm sure he's working tonight. New Year's at the bar." interesting. "I'm sure he's working tonight. New Year's at the bar."

"He was a nice guy."

Cade didn't reply. He wasn't going to argue that. It was true.

"Is he single?"

Cade nodded. At least, he guessed Dean was. He hadn't made any boyfriend noises in the time they'd spent together. Cade knew Dean and Jamie had talked some before they'd left. Maybe Jamie was going to find him a date. He tried to not let the thought... Too late. He absolutely hated it.

He had to quit this. Cade lurched from the hay. "I better go check on things and clean up. What time?"

"Anytime after nine." Chris walked beside him out of the barn. "We'll have snacks and stuff."

"Okay. I'll see you then."

He knew Chris was watching him walk away. He felt the weight of his stare the entire way.

It didn't matter what his brother thought. Dean was a friend. Nothing more. It didn't matter what his wolf thought, because it was wrong. Dead wrong.

Dean's breath rushed in panted bursts, his chest aching. It felt like he'd been hit with a wrecking ball. He couldn't catch his breath, staring at the aftermath before him. He would have been crying, but he was still too angry. Fury boiled in his veins. The impact of the loss hadn't hit yet. It would.

Gemini's was gone.

He'd received a phone call at four thirty-nine, right after he'd gone to bed. The security company had reported a tripped alarm. The police had been notified. As he was getting dressed, he received another call.

"Dean, this is Sheriff Archer."

"I'm on my way, Kelly. Have to find my shoe." He dug a sneaker out from under the bed where he'd kicked it, keeping the phone pinned between his ear and shoulder. He hopped around, one thought on his mind. To get to the bar and clear the alarm.

"You need to sit down."

Something in Kelly's voice registered, and it knifed him with a dread coldness. "What?"

"It was more than the alarm."

"Kelly," he growled, short on temper.

"The fire department is trying to save it."

"f.u.c.k!" He disconnected the call and rushed to find suitable clothing to be outside, then s.n.a.t.c.hed his jacket off the wall as he flew out the front door.

Now he stood with his jacket hanging open, his sneakers untied, and his jaw pinched so tight, his teeth ached.

The fire crew was wrapping up hose. They'd done what they could, but the age of the building had been a factor, all wood, from floor to ceiling. And all the liquor. It was like setting fire to kerosene stored in a box of kindling.

"The alarm company said something tripped the perimeter alarm and then set off the sprinkler system. There was a fifteen minute interval after the perimeter alarm tripped to first responder contact." He flipped a little spiral notepad. "Their report is the sprinkler system kicked in before responder contact."

Dean hadn't been able to look away from the smoldering mess. "What does that mean?"

"It means someone went inside and intentionally started it."