The Widow's Vow Part 7

ANTONIO. A Lady, oh no--you are a tyger, a fury--

MARQUIS. I never met with such usage!--d.a.m.nation!

ANTONIO. What a profligate she is! I did not think such a word could come out of a woman's mouth!

MARQUIS. How, Sir!--Dare to say that again, and I'll nail you to the wall.

ANTONIO. (_Retreating._) Why, what is all this about? I won't fight--I only drew my sword to frighten you.

MARQUIS. To frighten me!--Did you think I was to be frightened?

ANTONIO. Why not? You see I am.

MARQUIS. Yes, I see, and scorn you for it.

COUNTESS. Why, Uncle, the tables are fairly turned upon you.

ANTONIO. Yes, Niece, and I'm much obliged to you, for your advice in the business--But you may depend upon it, I shall take care how I attempt to frighten one of your s.e.x again. (_Going._)

MARQUIS. Come back, Sir, I insist upon your coming back, and recalling what you have said--I insist upon your begging me pardon for your impertinent insinuation.--

ANTONIO. What insinuation?--That I think you a female?--I am sure there is no offence meant in that--for, when I suppose you a woman, I suppose you what I like better than anything in the world; what I am never happy without; and what I even make myself poor, despised, and ridiculous, in the daily pursuit of.

MARQUIS. And pray, Sir, in what, do I appear like a woman?

ANTONIO. And pray, Sir, in what, does any of our modern c.o.xcombs appear like a man? and yet they don't scruple to call themselves men.

MARQUIS. Then you will not recall your sentiments and beg my pardon?

ANTONIO. Beg your pardon?--No--Yes, yes--Put on your petticoats, and I'll fall at your feet as soon as you please.--

MARQUIS. I'll bear this no longer--Draw. (_Marquis draws._)

ANTONIO. Here Jerome, Jerome, come and defend me, where it would be a dishonour to defend myself.

_Enter_ JEROME.

ANTONIO. See, Jerome, how my life is a.s.sailed.

JEROME. Aye, your Honour, I always told you the women would be the death of you at last.

MARQUIS. You too, rascal!--

JEROME. Well, I declare with her sword in her hand, she is as fine a creature as ever I saw!--Oh you audacious minx.

MARQUIS. Scoundrel--

JEROME. Sure, your Honour, she must be the Maid of Orleans.

MARQUIS. I am no maid, Sir.

JEROME. I am sorry for your misfortune.

MARQUIS. Don Antonio, this treatment I suppose you inflict as a just recompence for my presumption in daring to hope for an alliance in your family, spite of the prejudice which I knew the Countess had conceived--I cannot deny the justice of the accusation--I came into her house with the vain hope----

COUNTESS. By no means _vain_--I am ready to comply, be your hopes what they will.

MARQUIS. Can I believe what you say real?

COUNTESS. Certainly--Were you going to say you hoped to marry me? If you were, call the Priest, and we'll be married immediately.

ANTONIO. Aye, if that is what your Lordship wants, the Priest shall tack you together in five minutes.

MARQUIS. This sudden consent staggers me--I was not prepared for it--one likes a little preparation before marriage as well as before death.

(_Aside._)

COUNTESS. What! you are cast down--alarmed--want to recant--but I won't let you--You _shall_ marry me--I insist upon it.

MARQUIS. What, directly?

COUNTESS. Yes, directly--I am in a hurry.

MARQUIS. I believe this is mere trifling--Swear you will marry me.

COUNTESS. I do swear.

MARQUIS. You are witness to the oath.

ANTONIO AND JEROME. We are witness.

_Enter_ SERVANT _with_ DONNA ISABELLA _veiled_.

SERVANT. A Lady, Madam, who says she is sister to the Marquis.

COUNTESS. Has the Marquis more sisters than one?

MARQUIS. No.

ANTONIO. Then this, I suppose, is your brother?

JEROME. Aye, in women's clothes--O dear, another fine sight!

COUNTESS. Oh Heavens, if it is a man, take him out of the room or I shall faint.

MARQUIS. Sister Isabella, when I shall relate to you the strange reception I have met with in this house, you will be amazed--but I think you will sincerely rejoice at the final event of my visit, when I tell you it is a solemn promise from this Lady to become my wife.