The Wayfarer's Lamentation Part 6

"Since I was with you when it happened, they thought you must have done something to me. And then they forced me to change hospitals...I'm sorry, Konoha. I wrote you letters, too. But I never once got a reply from you."

Surprised, I said, "I never got any letters!"

Miu's face grew even sadder at that.

"I thought as much. Your mom...she hated me. I thought she might not give them to you."

My heart felt chilled.

"You're saying my mother threw the letters away?"

Miu stopped walking and squeezed my arm with one hand.

"I dunno...But the fact that the letters didn't reach you might imply that. But I'm sure she'd say she doesn't know anything about it."

I couldn't believe that my mother would throw out Miu's letters without telling me. But it was true that she'd seemed concerned that I only ever played with Miu.

"Miu is a little girl. You're a little boy. So don't you think you should play with other little boys?"

She'd said that to me before in a gentle voice.

As we advanced in school, Miu stopped coming over, and we started meeting up at the library in school or at a nearby library.

I didn't think my mother would throw away letters addressed to me.

But if not, then where did the letters from Miu go?

I'd been afraid this whole time that Miu hated me.

She was entrusting her body to me like this, talking to me just like she used to, and my heart trembled with an almost melancholy joy alongside the anxiety, confusion, and doubt that it also felt.

Miu pressed her head against my chest. As I gently supported her, we started walking again.

"When did you come back here?" I asked.

"...Last winter."

"That long ago!"

"I've been waiting for you to come, Konoha. Kazushi promised he would give my letters to you and bring you with him. But..."

"Kazushi...who's that?"

Miu stopped outside the room with the name card reading ASAKURA and looked up at me, her eyes narrowing quickly.

Then she hung her head in silence. Her bangs slid across her eyes and hid her expression.

The next moment, the name Miu produced gave me a shock.

"Your cla.s.smate, Kazushi Akutagawa."

"Asakura? You're back."

I was flabbergasted to see the door in front of us open and Akutagawa come out.

It was like being punched in the head just for walking past someone.

I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me.

Akutagawa looked at me, too, and his face instantly stiffened.

"...Inoue." His m.u.f.fled voice slipped past dry lips.

Akutagawa looked at Miu standing beside me, then looked back at me, and his brows knit in pain.

What are you doing here?!

A hot lump rose in my throat.

Miu suddenly threw her head back and shouted at Akutagawa, "How could you, Kazushi?! You said you would help me see Konoha. I believed you! I trusted my letters to you. But you didn't give them to him, did you?"

"Calm down, Asakura!"

Akutagawa rested a hand on Miu's shoulder and tried to soothe her. That act struck me as very familiar, and a searing pain coursed through my chest.

Miu threw off Akutagawa's arm with an expression of naked loathing. Losing her balance, her body wheeled and fell back against me. She clung to me tightly.

"Don't touch me! You said Konoha resented me. I believed you, 'cos you're Konoha's best friend. You told Kotobuki about me and let her bully me-how could you do such terrible things?"

"Cut it out, Asakura. Don't say another word. Please, stop it!" Akutagawa shouted, his face twisted and his breathing feeble. His narrowly squinted eyes were colored by suffering.

"I hate you. Get out! Don't ever come here again. Don't interfere with me and Konoha!"

Akutagawa looked over at me. His lips started moving as if there was something he wanted to say, but Miu said, "Go away, now!!" and he pressed his lips firmly together. Looking once more at me with painfully sad eyes, he let out a heavy sigh, quietly turned his back, and left.

Miu buried her face against my chest, as if she didn't want to see him.

Maybe I should have gone after Akutagawa.

Maybe I should have stopped him and asked what was going on.

But so many different things were happening at once, I didn't know what I ought to do.

Feeling as if my chest were being ripped open, I listened to his retreating footsteps.

At last they became totally inaudible and the hallway felt eerily silent.

"Let's go inside, Konoha. Come with me."

I could no longer think, so I went with Miu just like she told me to.

Miu seemed to have the room to herself; there was only one bed.

I sat Miu down gently, as if she were an expensive, breakable doll, atop the starched white sheets.

Miu put her arms around me and rubbed her cheek softly against my neck like a lonely kitten.

Then she turned her face up to mine, narrowed her eyes sweetly, and whispered in relief, "I'm glad I got to see you, Konoha."

Chapter 3-That Is a Pristine Trap.

Dinner was long over when I returned home.

"Sorry. I ate while I was out."

"You should have called, then."

"Sorry..."

Really I hadn't eaten anything, though.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

My mother turned around with a smile.

"What's the matter, Konoha?"

I moved my mouth laboriously.

"Do you remember Miu?"

My mother's face tensed suddenly.

"Y-yes..."

As I felt the air p.r.i.c.kle against my skin, I forced the words out with a fierce effort.

"You haven't ever...hidden anything from me about Miu, right?"

I saw my mother's eyes widen in shock and her lips tremble in fear.

"What are you saying, Konoha? Of course I haven't. Why are you asking all of a sudden? Have you had some news from Miu?"

"No, I was just...thinking about her," I lied to my mother, who asked her questions uneasily and pale faced.

"I see...You ought to just forget about her."

"I guess."

It was hard to breathe, and it felt like my heart was ripping apart. It seemed like my mother was reacting way more than necessary to what I'd said. After Miu's accident, I'd withdrawn and not gone to school for a long time, so she might have just become oversensitive.

But...

Maybe I was just overthinking things when I thought I saw guilt appear in her averted eyes.

"Konoha, let's play a video game!"

My little sister came over innocently.

"Maybe another time."

I pretended I was busy with homework and fled to my room.

The sweet melody of a music box startled me, and I looked over at my cell phone. I'd gotten a text from Kotobuki.

I remembered that I'd left her standing in the hall at the hospital, and my heart and throat instantly squeezed tight.

Holding my breath, I opened the message, and the words "I'm sorry" leaped out at me first thing.

I'm sorry...for not saying anything about Asakura.

I heard about her from you and wanted to meet her real badly.

When I talked to you, I thought it hurt you to remember her...so I couldn't tell you that she was at the hospital.

I'm so sorry.

But she was the one who contacted me first.

If I tell you this, you might think I'm a bad person, but...

Don't believe her.

I'm worried about you. Asakura isn't the girl you think she is.

My heart swelled, and my throat quivered.

I was the one who should have been apologizing.