The Wayfarer's Lamentation Part 3

How could you act so cruelly and hurt me like that?

You watched, laughing, as my heart was slashed to ribbons by a glinting, transparent blade, and I screamed and spilled stinking blood and writhed in pain. You stomped casually on my back as I beat my fists against the ground and wept.

What did you and Haraguchi talk about? Where did you go with Mine? Did you think I didn't know?

And how you misled Haraguchi with your skillful words and how you let Mine touch you and how you played together in the water-I know about all of it. I saw it with my own eyes.

Then my body was thrown into blue flames, and I experienced pain as if I were being prodded all over by burning metal skewers until I was b.l.o.o.d.y.

You always, always saw me suffering and laughed in pleasure.

Then you would cuddle up next to me, steal all sorts of things from me, and destroy me.

So you'll forgive me if I take my revenge on you, right?

Chapter 2-Why Miu Inoue Died.

"Whaaaat? A visit? You have to do it. That goes without saying."

On the other end of the cell phone, Takeda shouted, aghast.

"But when I texted Kotobuki, she said not to come."

I was terribly confused.

I'd been surprised that Kotobuki had canceled the movie and been admitted to the hospital the day before we were supposed to go, and I didn't know how to take the fact that when her reply finally came, it was incredibly brusque, or that she'd told me that she was embarra.s.sed so I didn't have to come visit her.

She explained that the reason she'd kept quiet about being hospitalized was that she had been admitted to the hospital she'd been in over the summer again and had felt stupid.

It wasn't that I didn't understand why she would feel that way, but...

When I went to visit her with Tohko over the summer, she'd had a litany of mutterings and been in a bad mood, and when she was alone with me in her hospital room, she had turned away from me as if I was a nuisance.

Knowing Kotobuki's personality, I guessed she didn't want to show her weakness. Maybe she really didn't want me to come. If I showed up even though she'd told me not to come, wouldn't that make her feel bad?

After much angst, I asked Takeda's advice through a text message, and the call had come immediately to lecture me. "You're so clueless about how girls feel.

"With girls like that, even if they talk tough, deep inside of course they want you to come. Geez, you are just a lost cause. Things finally started getting good, and now her boyfriend won't go visit her in the hospital. That's the worst. Nanase is gonna cryyy."

She spoke her mind in a cute voice like a cartoon character.

"Maybe that's it..."

"That is it," she declared crisply, and I decided to go visit Kotobuki.

The next day, I got the people at a flower shop to make a small bouquet from pink roses and red strawberry-scented candles shaped like strawberries and brought that to the hospital.

"Let's see...Kotobuki's room is..."

I'd been in this s.p.a.cious hallway that smelled of medicine before. I was walking down the hall confirming the room number when it happened.

"Inoue."

Someone spoke my name, and I looked up. Akutagawa was standing there in a black knit shirt and jeans wearing a hard expression.

"You come to see Kotobuki?"

"Huh? You knew she was in the hospital?"

A shadow fell over Akutagawa's eyes, and his handsome face twisted ever so slightly.

"Yeah...she told me a second ago."

Akutagawa's mother had been lying unconscious in a hospital bed for years now.

So it wasn't strange for him to be at the hospital. He must have come to visit his mother.

"Did you go see her?"

"Yeah," he answered ambiguously.

I wondered what was going on. Why was he so on edge?

"How bad is she hurt? It's not serious, is it?"

"She's fine. She'll be out soon apparently."

"That's good. But I heard she fell down some stairs. I wonder where. At a station, you think? Did she tell you anything?"

"...No."

Akutagawa turned his eyes away in apparent pain and fell silent.

Then he slowly opened his mouth and said, "Kotobuki's room is over there. She looked pretty tired, so you probably shouldn't stay too long."

"Gotcha. Thanks."

I thanked him and walked off. As I did, I felt someone's eyes on me. When I turned around, Akutagawa was still standing in the hallway, looking at me with a tense expression.

Was he worried about me, maybe? I wasn't a kid, though; I could handle finding a hospital room on my own.

"Ah, here it is."

I stopped outside the number I'd written down on a piece of paper. There was a placard with the name KOTOBUKI on it, too.

I could hear voices talking inside.

Was it the person sharing the room with her?

I knocked on the door and opened it slowly. Two of the four beds in the room were occupied, and a high schoolaged girl and a pet.i.te old woman looked at me.

"Excuse me. I came to see Nanase Kotobuki."

"Nanase's not here right now," the girl answered with a cheerful look.

The old woman spoke next. "She ought to be back from her tests soon, though."

"I see."

They both suggested that I wait there, but I was embarra.s.sed and went out into the hall.

While I was s.p.a.cing out there, an unexpected person appeared.

"Konoha?"

"Tohko!"

Wrapped up in a navy-blue duffle coat and wearing her school uniform even though it was winter break, the book girl with the long braids saw the pink bouquet in my hand, and a smile spilled across her face.

"Did you come to visit Nanase, too?"

"I did, but is it okay that you're not studying for your tests? Your National Center Test is right around the corner. You're not still solving second-year math problems, I hope?"

Tohko huffed.

"I'm doing the third-year problems, just like I should be. Whether I'm solving them or not is a different story."

"If it's a different story, it's a scary one, don't you think?"

"Geez, I just heard from Chia that Nanase was in the hospital again, and I was so worried I ran over. Please don't bug me about all this tedious stuff. It'll make Nanase's injuries get worse."

"I don't think there's even the most remote link between your tests and the state of Kotobuki's injuries. Besides, she's not in the room right now."

"Oh no, really?"

Tohko's large, dark eyes widened, and her eyelashes fluttered. Then she giggled.

"Then I'll wait here, too," she murmured and lightly leaned her thin shoulders against the wall. "Oh, I got your New Year's card on New Year's Day," she added.

"Who was the one who insisted so loudly that I do it?"

"But if I can't eat your snacks, that's no way to begin the new year."

"It was a real pain to write an improv story on a single postcard, you know."

"Thank you. It was very good. It was light and cool, like biting into a frozen rice cake stuffed with ice cream."

Tohko closed her eyes and let out a sweet sigh.

Something deep inside my chest always felt ticklish when she complimented me so directly, and I felt restless. That was why I accidentally wrote nothing but weird stories that made Tohko shriek "Ewww, this is awwwful." But since Tohko was studying for her exams, if I made her eat something strange and the worst were to happen, it would be bad.

The hallway, smelling like medicine, was so quiet it seemed like I could hear even the sound of her breathing, and I got the odd sensation that Tohko and I were the only two people inside the big white building.

"Where are you taking exams for?"

I'd heard that she was recklessly taking tests for only national schools, but I didn't know where her first-choice school was. I wondered if it was in town or nearby.

Or maybe...

"Um, Tokyo University and-"

"Tokyo University?!"

I ended up shouting, I was so surprised. Then I remembered that I was in a hospital and quickly lowered my voice.

"You're joking, right? What country is this Tokyo University in where someone with a score of zero or three or whatever in math can apply?"

Tohko brushed it off. "Don't be mean, Konoha. When I say Tokyo University, I mean Tokyo University. The hallowed inst.i.tute where Ogai and Sseki and Dazai and Akutagawa spent their youth. j.a.pan's most ill.u.s.trious academic inst.i.tution with the Red Gate, Sanshiro Pond, Yasuda Auditorium, and the ginkgo trees."

"Did you mistake college for a place you go sightseeing? Are you serious about applying there?"

"Yes, I am. Every student studying for exams should attempt Tokyo University at least once. It's different for the top candidates, obviously. But when you spend another year studying to get into college, it sounds so much better to say 'I failed the exam for Tokyo University,' don't you think?"

"What are you doing thinking about what's going to sound best when you've failed?"

I wanted to hold my head in my hands. Argh, this girl was going to fail. She'd decided to spend another year studying. I wanted back my fifty yen that I'd thrown into the collection box.

"You should go home, Tohko. It might be useless at this point, but you ought to study."

"What? But Nanase-"

"Why not visit her some other time? I'm going home, too, so please go home and solve some math problems."

Almost an hour had gone by already. Maybe her test was running long.

I could hear a bell outside the building announcing it was three o'clock. It was the automaton clock set up outside the station.

Tohko sighed.

"...Okay. It's a shame, but let's at least leave the flowers."