The War Of The Roses Part 6

He put down the paper and removed his gla.s.ses. 'You're not home safe by any means.' He reached over to a carved wooden humidor and drew out a short cigar, ceremoniously sucking the wrapper before he lit it. 'The major question in these events is how we divide the spoils. Possessions. It's the curse of the age. Next to child custody, which is wasteful and destructive. Property is different. It only looks simple. Here's mine. Here's yours. Like making a treaty in some ninth-century war between kingdoms. Your husband's accountant is doing an inventory and as soon as that's done we can cut into the carca.s.s.'

She hadn't been prepared for any of it. There's no school for divorce, her divorced friends had a.s.serted. They hadn't gone into the substance of her material settlement, only the abstractions of what it meant to be on one's own, the joy and the pain. And, of course, the different men. Barbara had been mesmerized by that part of it. 'Most of them are like children,' one of her friends, Peggy Laughton, had pointed out. She had been a housewife, professional volunteer, and, as she characterized it, 'an occasional Sat.u.r.day-night f.u.c.ker.' She had been lighthearted, amusing, full of cute little dirty digs like 'I didn't even know I was s.e.xy. Now my b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs are getting great word of mouth.' Remembering, Barbara grinned. She was eager to taste this aspect of her freedom.

'He's already offered you half the value of the house. But that's only the opening gambit. A bit of bull-s.h.i.t. It's you who probably have the handle on that one. Unless, as I said before, you intend to move out. The upkeep is going to be fairly steep.'

'My business is starting to roll,' she said. 'With his payments and my extra income, that should do it.'

He shook his head and smiled.

'You didn't understand the implication.' She wondered suddenly why she hadn't consulted a woman attorney. Surely a woman would have been more understanding, more tactful. They are all in it together, she decided, gathering a cloak of caution around her, remembering Peggy's words: 'It's that G.o.dd.a.m.ned c.o.c.k of theirs. All their brains are there. Never mind palm reading. Reading the ridges of their c.o.c.ks. You can really tell a man's character from that.'

Suddenly the drawbridge over the moat went up. What she detested most was Thurmont's posturing and superiority, as if he were the possessor of some special knowledge.

'He offered you half the value of the house and its possessions. Not the house. Not what you have inside it. The value. Which means that an independent appraiser will look things over and determine what the real market value is. Then Oliver will probably go out and borrow the money and make one big settlement. As near as I can figure without the inventory, you might walk away with, say, between four or five hundred thou after fees. It's a heavy wad. Should get you through the long, hard winter.'

He stood up and walked toward her, leaving his cigar in the ashtray. She saw his shadow loom close and caught the whiff of his musky cologne. For a moment she felt herself bracing for a physical onslaught. For some reason, she was certain, he had decided to make a pa.s.s. He didn't, merely standing over her, looking down, underlining her helplessness.

'I don't think that's fair,' she said.

'Fair?' He stopped abruptly and she wondered if she had headed him off. She was annoyed that he had not made a pa.s.s. Maybe being fair game is what she really wanted, a real declaration of independence. With the exception of Josh and Oliver, she had no idea of what other men really looked like, felt like. That, too, wasn't fair.

'Are you going to lecture me about "fair"?' he said.

'I can't lecture you about something that doesn't exist.' She enjoyed her jab at him. He offered a wry half smile, a broad hint of his arrogance. She was not intimidated.

'You think it's fair for me to have devoted nearly twenty years to his career, his needs, his wants, his desires, his security. I gave up my schooling for him. I had his children. And I devoted a h.e.l.l of a lot more time to that house than he did. Besides, the house is all I have to show for it. I can't match his earning power. h.e.l.l, in a few years he'll be able to replace its value. I'll just have cash. Well, that's not good enough. I want the house. I want all of it. It's not only a house. It's a symbol of a life-style. And I intend to keep it that way. That's fair.'

During the outburst his eyes had never wavered from her face and when she was through he offered her an unmistakably approving smile.

'Well,' he said, 'we have here a live one.' He bent down and whispered in her ear, 'Do you mean it? Or is it merely indignation talking? In the real world indignation collapses first.'

'It's real as s.h.i.t,' she hissed, surprised at the extent of her firmness, wondering if it was really the way she felt inside. Was it possible that her resentment had been so deep? In the night, especially that first night, the guilt had come charging up at her, blocking out everything but her own imagined perfidy. She had called her mother in Boston and that hadn't helped one bit.

'I don't understand what you're saying,' her mother had exclaimed after what Barbara knew was a long, garbled explanation. h.e.l.l, I don't need her approval, she had told herself. Of course they would think her mad. Everyone, including her children, might think her mad. In the cavern of her empty bed, she wasn't quite sure. All the resentment seemed to get screened through the lonely darkness and all that crawled into her mind was what one might call the good things. Oliver had been so supportive of her desire to get out and do something. Anything. He had been the princ.i.p.al motivator behind the kitchen, urging her on to the pursuit of the commercial possibilities of what she once believed was merely her pedestrian housewife talent. So he must think that he has created a monster. He was always someone to lean on, to be protected by, steady and sure and knowing and handy and decent and loving. A good provider. A good father. A good son. So, then, why was she doing this to him? She had barely been able to get her doubts through the night. The next night she took a Valium and things were better. Last night it had been still better. She was beginning to agree with herself again.

'Up to now, Barbara,' Thurmont said, intruding on her thoughts, 'I would have thought you'd be the usual twenty-four-karat cliche, the I-just-want-out syndrome. The sad bleat of the unfulfilled woman. The beaches are strewn with their bloated corpses. They left home with empty purses, hot crotches, and high hopes. Fools. The lot of them. They didn't have to leave home empty-handed. They didn't even have to leave home.'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'It's possible, Barbara. We might be able to pull it off. But that will depend on you. He'll buck, of course. It'll be one h.e.l.l of a mess. Dog eat dog.'

'I won't move. I want it all.'

'It will mean time. My time. Your time. Pain. Arguments. Anguish. Inconvenience. Is it worth the candle?' 'd.a.m.ned straight.'

Thurmont looked at her with satisfaction. 'You've got pluck, lady.' he said happily, relighting his cigar.

In his words she read: I love messy divorces.'It's my house. I worked my a.s.s off for it,' she said.

11.

That morning he had started to pack, filling a suitcase in fits and starts. He went down to the library and fondly touched his Staffordshire figures, lifting a Littie Red Riding Hood, a Garibaldi, a Napoleon, caressing them fondly as he replaced them on the mantel. Then his fingers lovingly slid over the intricate carving of the armoire. He remembered how happy he had been when it was delivered to the house.

In the foyer he opened the case of the face of the long clock, and as he had done every morning for more than five years, he cranked the winding key and, checking the time against his Piaget, moved the minute hand forward by two minutes. He loved the familiar click of the pendulum on its relendess journey through time and patted the smooth mahogany of the case.

Then he looked at the familiar figures of Cribb and Molineaux and, quickly, his eyes misted.

Not today, he decided. It hurts too much. Leaving his packed suitcase in the guest room, he walked swiftly to his office. Miss Harlow had his coffee and doughnut waiting. The first bite stuck in his throat.

How can I leave my own house? he asked himself, feeling for the first time that justice, morality, decency, and fairness were on his side.

An hour later, Goldstein told him the news.

Oliver looked at Goldstein in disbelief, but he saw no relief in the man's sad eyes, the hooded lids droopy with the weight of the world's sins.

'You're lying to me,' Oliver cried, his voice rising, the words reverberating in his mind as if it were a wind tunnel.

'You can't blame the bad news on the messenger.' 'The dirty b.i.t.c.h.'Oliver slapped Goldstein's desk, scattering papers with the rush of air his palm created.'It's Thurmont. That b.a.s.t.a.r.d.'

'It's natural. In a divorce action it's obligatory to hate the lawyers.'

'Thank G.o.d I'm in a different kind of law.''Do me a favor, Rose. Leave G.o.d out of it.'

Oliver slapped the desk again, overwhelmed by rage, the injustice of it. Was it possible he had invested almost half his life in this marriage? For this? For nothing?

'How fair can a man be?' Oliver said after he had got his rage under control. 'I've given her no trouble. No custody battles. I've agreed to a generous maintenance. Surely she can leave me with something.'

'Why?''Because I earned it. It's mine.''She says she earned it, too.''Half. I'm willing to give half.'

Again the anger ripped at his innards and he popped two Maaloxes in his mouth.

'I won't have it. I mean it's not fair. The house is ours. OURS. She takes the OU. I take the RS. I was going to give her the full value of one-half its worth.'

'She doesn't want the value. She wants the house,' Goldstein said. 'I probed all the possibilities. I offered half the house and told her she could continue to live in it with the kids.'

'I didn't authorise that,' Oliver said, looking at Goldstein with daggers of hatred. 'You had no right to offer that kind of deal. You never consulted me about that, Goldstein.'

'I was probing. I wanted to find out how far they were willing to go. I wanted to at least show them we were reasonable. Who thought they would go this far?'

'Not me. That's for sure.''It won't be nice,' Goldstein said.'Nothing is nice. Not anymore.'

'Never mind nice. The subject is wealth. Yours. She wants to strip you of everything. What have you got besides the house?'

'My Ferrari,' he said stupidly. 'A three-oh-eight GTS. Red.'

'They didn't include that. Not the wine, either. Or your tools.'

'How generous.'

'What else?' Goldstein snapped. Oliver's mind clouded. 'What about insurance?'

'What about insurance?''I forgot about that. She's the princ.i.p.al beneficiary.' 'Change it quick.'

The idea curdled his guts. If he died now, she would receive a million. And get the house to boot. The recollection agitated him, but cleared his head.

'There's the phone.' Goldstein pointed. 'If you walked outside this building and got hit by a truck, you would be very unhappy. .. seeing that she would get all that money.'

It took Oliver a few moments to reach his insurance man, who happened to be in his office. He wanted to know details.

'Not now. Just change it to Eve and Josh. All right? Cut out Barbara.' Oliver hung up the phone without a word. It wasn't like him to be rude. But the call had made him feel better, although he still had to sign a form the agent was putting in the mail.

'I'll make arrangements to speed up the inventory,' Goldstein said. 'I want everything in that house on a piece of paper fast. Before she gets any bright ideas.'

'She had better not take a d.a.m.ned thing. That would be stealing. I'll give up nothing. Not the house or anything in it. Never.' His throat tightened and his voice cackled.

'Never say "never." ''f.u.c.k you, Goldstein.'Oliver stood up, started to leave, then sat down again.

'I built my whole life around that house,' Oliver mumbled, his head in his hands, feeling a whirlpool of sentiment well up inside him.

'I have my workshop there. All my antiques. My collections. My paintings. It's a total thing. It can't be broken apart.' He felt a terrible sense of persecution. All those years poking around antique auctions. 'I have my wine. My Lafite-Rothschild '59's, my Chateau Margaux '64's, my Grand Vin de Chateau Latour '66's. My orchids. You don't understand. You haven't seen the place. It's a jewel. I lavished love on it. In ten years it'll double in value, maybe triple. And so will everything in it.'

He caught his breath and sighed.

'You don't understand, Goldstein. I know every wire in that house, every fiber of wood and brick and slate. I know its pipes. Its innards. It is as much a part of me as my right hand.'

'Spare me please, Rose.''You have no sensitivity to that, Goldstein. It's not merely a possession.' He shrugged. 'People like you don't understand.''Don't get anti-Semitic. It won't solve anything.''Well, then, what the h.e.l.l will?'

'The law. There is in the end always the law.' Goldstein stood up to his full, squat, half-pint size and, marching over to a wall of books, patted them fondly.

' "The law is an a.s.s," ' Oliver said, remembering d.i.c.kens's famous character.

'Not as big an a.s.s as you think. There are still some arrows in our quiver.' Oliver grabbed the shred of hope like a drowning man grabs a piece of floating flotsam.

t.i.tle 16-904, Section C,' Goldstein said smugly, watching his face. 'It allows a no-fault divorce even if a man and woman live under one roof. Separately, of course. No cohabitation. The waiting period is not affected.'

'So I don't have to leave?'

'No. But. ..' Goldstein held up his hand. 'Who gets the house and its contents is still up to the court. The judge could decide it's too contentious and order everything to be sold and the proceeds split. We could appeal. It could go on for years, considering the crowded dockets.'

Oliver felt a surge of hope.

'And my willingness to stay there. Fight for it. That will show my fervor. Maybe . . . my very presence will force her out.'

'Don't get overly ambitious. There's still the kids to think about.'

'Maybe she'll see the light. h.e.l.l, she's getting the kids. She can easily buy another place with the money I'm prepared to give her.' He stood up and clapped his hands, then reality intruded again. 'How in h.e.l.l can I live in the same house with her? It'll be a nightmare. Who the h.e.l.l thought up such a stupid idea?'

'The schvartzes,' schvartzes,' Goldstein said, getting up and starting to pace about the office. 'Many of them couldn't afford to maintain two domiciles, so they made it easy on themselves and had a law pa.s.sed.' Goldstein said, getting up and starting to pace about the office. 'Many of them couldn't afford to maintain two domiciles, so they made it easy on themselves and had a law pa.s.sed.'

'Maybe that's why there are so many domestic murders among the blacks,' Oliver said gloomily, his elation disintegrating.

'G.o.d d.a.m.n it, Goldstein,' he thundered suddenly. 'I can't do it. I can't possibly do it. While she's there I can't possibly live in that house. The way I feel now I'll want to strangle her every time I see her.'

'That,' Goldstein said, pointing a chubby forefinger, like a threatening gun barrel, at his head, 'is what loses cases.' He paused and moved back to his desk. 'Number one.' He lifted a fat pinky. 'Do you want to lose the house entirely?' 'Absolutely not.'

'Then I strongly suggest 16-904, Section C,' Goldstein said emphatically. A sudden thought seemed to intrude. 'You could also make sure she doesn't sell anything . .. these collections.'

'My Staffordshire.'

'Or your wines. Then comes number two.' Goldstein lifted the finger next to his pinky. It stood surprisingly straight, as if he had had much practice in exercising that particular joint. 'You have to be willing to sacrifice. You mustn't give her a single cause for legal action. She will undoubtedly try to dislodge you.'

'Like how?'

'By making you miserable.' 'I can do the same.'

Goldstein held up a hand, like a traffic cop.

'Don't interfere with the household. Be like a little mouse. No girlfriends in the house. Nothing she can hang a case on.'

'No s.e.x?'

'Not in the house. Better nothing. It's not long. A year.'

'I thought you said six months.'

'If one of the parties contests, it's a year. We're going to contest. The divorce will still get granted under no-fault. But why make it easy? Maybe the tension will break down her demands. This is a war, Rose. It's not Monopoly.'

'You think we can win?'

'A judge is a putz? putz? Goldstein smiled. 'Also unpredictable. Who knows?' Goldstein smiled. 'Also unpredictable. Who knows?'

'I have no choice, then.''Of course you do. You can move out.''That's no choice,' Oliver said firmly.'All you have to do is live there. As innocuously as possible. Don't take your meals there. Leave her the kitchen. Let her run the house as always. Be just a squatter. The best tack is to be inconspicuous. As I said, like a mouse.' 'And the kids?'

'It doesn't look like the kids will be a problem. Be fatherly, but under no circ.u.mstances let them be made an issue. In terms of Mrs Rose, try to be cool, polite, proper, and distant. If you think she's up to something fishy, tell me. Don't give her any cause for action. Don't do anything stupid. Don't take anything out of the house. If she she does, tell me immediately.' does, tell me immediately.'

'I've got to be a prisoner in my own house,' he mumbled. Goldstein ignored him.

'Number three.' The middle digit joined the others. 'Be patient. Exercise. Go to the movies a lot. Play with yourself. Anything to keep your mind off your problems.'

'Fat chance,' he said. 'And number four?'

'Number four,' Goldstein said, shaking his head sadly and looking deep into Oliver's face, 'is not to be a schmuck schmuck and do something that you'll be sorry for. And number five' - Goldstein smiled, showing a line of s.p.a.ced teeth like a picket fence - 'is to pay my monthly retainer on time.' and do something that you'll be sorry for. And number five' - Goldstein smiled, showing a line of s.p.a.ced teeth like a picket fence - 'is to pay my monthly retainer on time.'