The Universal Reciter Part 38

_Miss P._ Go back to your studies, and send Miss Bond to me. (_Takes her by the ear, and leads her to the door._)

_Hetty._ Ow! you hurt!

_Miss P._ Silence, miss! Take off that horrid head-dress at once.

[_Exit_, HETTY, L.

Mrs. Lofty, how can I find words to express my indignation at the conduct of my pupils? I a.s.sure you, this is something out of the common course.

_Enter_ LIZZIE, L., _with red chignon._

Here is one of my smartest pupils, Miss Bond. Mrs. Lofty, Miss Bond.

She particularly excels in reading. Miss Bond, take a book from the piano and read, something sweet and pathetic! something that you think would suit me.

LIZZIE _takes a position_, L., _opens book, and reads, in imitation of_ HANNAH'S _voice._

_Lizzie._

What is it that salutes the light, Making the heads of mortals bright, And proves attractive to the sight?

My chignon.

_Miss P._ Good gracious! is the girl mad?

_Lizzie._

What moves the heart of Miss Precise To throw aside all prejudice, And gently whisper, It is nice?

My chignon!

_Miss P._ Chignon, indeed! Who taught you to read in that manner?

_Lizzie._ Hannah Jones.

_Miss P._ O, this is too bad! You, too, with one of these horrid things on your head? (_s.n.a.t.c.hes it off, and beats her on head with it._) Back to your room! You shall suffer for this! [_Exit_ LIZZIE, L.

_Mrs. L._ Excuse me, Miss Precise, but your pupils all wear red chignons. Pray, is this a uniform you have adopted in your school?

_Miss P._ O, Mrs. Lofty, I'm dying with mortification! Chignons! I detest them; and my positive orders to my pupils are, never to wear them in the house.

_Hannah._ (_Outside_, L.) Wal, we'll see what Miss Precise will say to this.

_Enters with a red chignon in each hand, followed by_ LIZZIE, HETTY, _and_ f.a.n.n.y.

_Miss P._ Good gracious! More of these horrid things!

_Hannah._ Miss Precise, jest look at them! Here these pesky girls have been rummaging my boxes, and putting on my best chignons that pa sent me only yesterday. Look at them! They're teetotally ruined!

_Miss P._ Why, Miss Jones, you've got one on your head now!

_Hannah._ Of course I have. Have you got anything to say against it?

_Miss P._ O, no; only it don't match your hair.

_Hannah._ What of that? Pa always goes for the bright colours, and so do I.

_Lizzie._ Miss Precise, I thought pupils were forbidden to wear them.

_Miss P._ Well, yes--no--I must make exceptions. Miss Jones has permission to wear them.

_Lizzie._ Then I want permission.

_Hetty._ And so do I.

_f.a.n.n.y._ And so do I.

_Miss P._ First tell me what is the meaning of this scene we have just had.

_Lizzie._ Scene? Why, didn't you tell us to take Miss Jones as a model for imitation? Haven't we done it?

_Miss P._ But Miss Jones doesn't whistle.

_Hannah._ Whistle? I bet I can. Want to hear me?

_Miss P._ No. She don't sing comic songs.

_Hannah._ Yes, she does.

_Lizzie._ Yes, and she wears chignons. As we must imitate her, and hadn't any of our own, we appropriated hers.

_Miss P._ Shame, shame! What will Mrs. Lofty say?

_Mrs. L._ That she rather enjoyed it. I saw mischief in their eyes as they came in. And now, girls, I'm going to tell you what Miss Jones does that you _don't_ know. A short time ago she placed in my hands her pocket-book, containing a large roll of bills, to be distributed among the poor.

_Lizzie._ Why, isn't she splendid?

_Hetty._ Why, she's "mag."

_f.a.n.n.y._ O, you dear old Hannah. (_Kisses her._)

_Mrs. L._ I'm going to send my daughter here to school, and I shall tell her to make all the friends she can; but her first friend must be Hannah Jones.

_Hannah._ Well, I'm sure, I'm obleeged to you.

_Lizzie._ O, Miss Precise, we are so sorry we have acted so! Let us try again, and show Mrs. Lofty that we have benefited by your instruction.

_Miss P._ Not now. If Mrs. Lofty will call again, we will try to entertain her. I see I was in the wrong to give you such general directions. I say now, imitate Hannah Jones--her warm heart, her generous hand.

_Mrs. L._ And help her, by your friendship, to acquire the knowledge which Miss Precise so ably dispenses.