The Trouble with J.J Part 10

"Nooooo!" she wailed.

Genna met them at the door and followed them to Alyssa's room, where she had turned the carousel horse lamp on and the frilly covers of the canopied bed back. She leaned against the doorframe, wanting to be near enough to help but not wanting to intrude.

Jared toed off his sneakers and sat on the bed, leaning back against the carved white headboard and stretching his legs out, Alyssa still clinging to his shoulder. He tried to comfort and quiet her with soft words and kisses as his hand stroked over the cloud of her midnight hair. He looked up once, his gaze, full of pain and helplessness, meeting Genna's, so longing to help. Then he squeezed his eyes shut to keep his own tears at bay. He could handle two-hundred-plus-pound football players running over him with the zeal of a freight train, but it tore him apart to hear his little girl cry.

"It was-the-bad dream-Daddy," Alyssa said, sliding down onto his lap and pressing her wet face to his chest, her tears staining his shirt.

"I know it was, m.u.f.fin," he murmured. "It's all gone now."

One small hand smoothed over the white eyelet nightgown that had been purchased for her big night, as the tears in Alyssa's blue eyes welled up and spilled over again. "I'm not a big girl."

"Sure you are, Lyss," Jared said thickly. "Even grown-ups have bad dreams sometimes."

He dried her tears with a handkerchief from his hip pocket. She was nearly all cried out. He had unfortunately gone through this enough to know. Pulling the covers up around them, he tucked Alyssa's worn-out rag doll in her arms.

"Here's Dollie," he whispered tenderly, kissing his daughter's hair and hugging her close. She still cried in fits and spurts. "Should we play The Game, m.u.f.fin?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Let's close our eyes-"

"Nooo!" she sobbed, so clearly frightened that Genna had to wonder what terrible visions came to Alyssa when she closed her eyes.

"We have to," Jared persisted gently. "Remember? We close our eyes and what do we see?"

The crescent of long inky lashes glistening with tears fluttered down against Alyssa's cheek. "Th-the sky."

"That's right. A beautiful blue sky," He spoke in a slow, soothing cadence, his warm, smoky voice coaxing his little girl to relax, lulling her to sleep. His hand stroked her hair over and over. "With big, fluffy white clouds.

"What else do we see?"

"Gra.s.s ... and flowers."

"Lots of flowers. All different kinds and colors; blue and yellow and pink ... It's a meadow. And it's warm and nice, and the gra.s.s is blowing over in the wind. What else do we see? What's in the gra.s.s?"

"Bunnies," Alyssa said, the thumb of one hand inching toward her mouth. "...And they're hopping and playing."

"Are they having fun?"

She nodded against his chest. "And puppies too."

"Rolling in the gra.s.s like Flurry does?"

The thumb found its target on the second nod and she was asleep.

Jared held her for a moment longer, finally kissing the top of her head and easing himself out from under her. He left the lamp on low and went to Genna, looking like he'd run a marathon, his wide shoulders sagging, his face pale and drawn.

She put her arms around him and held him close, feeling ten times stronger than he and knowing she had to be that strong for him now because he just didn't have it left in him. He lowered his head to her shoulder.

"h.e.l.l of a way to end the evening. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about me," she said, patting his broad back. "Does this happen often?"

He broke the embrace and leaned back against the doorjamb, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Not as often as it did at first. It used to be every night."

"Is it about the accident?"

He nodded, looking down at his bare feet on the powder-blue rug. "They were broadsided on the driver's side. There was a lot of blood ..." He swore softly. "I'd give anything for Alyssa not to have been in that car. I'd give anything to make the nightmares go away."

He turned his head to watch his daughter sleep. Genna thought he looked almost as vulnerable as Alyssa. This is the same man who was so strong and sure making love with you not two hours ago, she reminded herself. Her heart ached with love for him. She thought back to what he'd said about them being a team and team players sticking up for each other. She wanted to offer him support now, as he had done for her.

"You handled it really well," she said, meaning it.

"I do my best," he said with a sigh, wishing his best were good enough. Would Simone Harcourt's best be better? Or would she leave Alyssa alone at night to face the "bad dream" herself?

The trouble had been brewing for three days. Genna had seen it coming, had sensed the tension in the air, but had thought of no way to defuse the bomb.

Beginning the morning after the nightmare, Jared's darling daughter had turned into a tiny tyrant-but only with Jared. She cheerfully obeyed Bernice and Genna, but defied her father at every turn. If he wanted a meal, she wasn't hungry. If he said it was day, she said it was night. She unfailingly did the exact opposite of what Jared asked of her. Where he was concerned, Alyssa was the most contrary creature on earth.

At first Jared let it slide. It was simply a bad mood on Alyssa's part. As the days pa.s.sed and the mood seemed only to worsen, he began losing his patience. Genna watched helplessly as he became more confused and hurt and frustrated by his daughter's behavior. She had a pretty good idea what the root of the problem was, but Jared didn't want to hear advice on the subject. He was so determined to be a good father, he viewed the need for advice as a weakness on his part. So Genna forced herself to stand on the sidelines and wait for the battle.

Meanwhile, they worked on Jared's house. Pictures were hung, a dining room table and chairs purchased. A new set of china filled the shelves of the cupboard, along with crystal. Jared's football trophies and photos were put in an oak and gla.s.s cabinet near his desk in the s.p.a.cious living room.

Genna tried to involve Jared as much as she could in making selections for the house. After all, it was his home. Even though he had asked her to do the job, she found herself feeling guilty about making the changes necessary to give Jared and his house a normal look. Jared's bizarre outfits and decorating ideas were part of who he was. Did anyone else really have the right to tell him to act otherwise? Still, it was his money, and he seemed sincere about changing his lifestyle.

"The mannequin has got to go," Genna said for the third time. She and Jared stood on the front porch arguing about lawn beauty. Having convinced him to get rid of most of the flamingos, she had held off on the issue of Candy, but Candy's day had come.

"Aw, come on, Gen! Candy and I have been together since college!"

Genna just looked at him, crossing her arms over her chest and impatiently tapping her sneakered foot. Jared tried staring her down, but she was, after all, a teacher-one of the world's greatest stare-down artists. He glanced away, then back at her, a stirring of desire reminding him it had been too long since their first night together. She was so darn cute when she had that stubborn little tilt to her chin. She wore a pair of jeans that were almost white with age and carefully patched. They molded to her body as if they were in love with her. And she wore the same old navy polo shirt she'd had on the night they'd made out on her kitchen floor.

He looked from Genna to Candy, who sat on her lawn chair with her hands in her lap, her head tilted as if she were listening to them argue her fate. Dammit, he liked the mannequin. This "being normal" business was getting on his nerves. If he wanted a mannequin on his front porch, why shouldn't he be able to have one? She wasn't hurting anybody.

"Maybe she could wear something more sedate," he suggested. He regarded Candy with a critical eye. "Picture her in a soft, flowered dress. Something very feminine. And a big straw hat maybe."

"She would still be a mannequin."

"But a very nicely dressed one."

"Normal people don't keep mannequins on their porches."

Jared scowled, looking at the houses down the block. "Theron Ralston has a yard jockey," yard jockey," he accused derisively. he accused derisively.

"Theron Ralston is a bigot," Genna said. "He is also on the school board, and I can tell you right now what he'll say about a man who wears an earring and keeps a mannequin on his porch. He'll say you're a h.o.m.os.e.xual Communist on drugs."

"Well, it's none of his d.a.m.n business anyway," Jared groused, patting Candy fondly on top of her blond wig.

"No, it's not," Genna agreed. "But you hired me to do a job and I'm doing it. Impossible as it may seem at times, you are going to have the outward appearance of being a normal person when I'm through." She frowned at the black T-shirt that clung to his muscular torso. A hog rode a Harley-Davidson above the words BORN TO BE WILD BORN TO BE WILD. "Candy goes," she said firmly. "I don't care where, as long as she's out of my sight."

Jared's eyes suddenly glittered with devilment and he slid an arm around Genna's waist, his smile wreaking havoc with her pulse. "Tell the truth, Teach. You're jealous."

"Of a mannequin?" She gave him a look. "That's sick, Hennessy."

"Don't worry, honey," he went on. "It's purely platonic between Candy and me."

"I certainly hope so," she said dryly, "or you're going to need more than my help to become normal."

Chuckling like a maniac, Jared pinched her bottom and danced away from her halfhearted swing at him. He hopped off the porch onto the sidewalk, "If I get Candy off the porch, can I have another flamingo?"

"Absolutely not. Who do I look like, Monte Hall?"

A lump of black dirt landed on Jared's Nikes. His teasing smile vanished as his eyes landed on Alyssa, who sat digging up the soil around a shrub with a shovel from her sandbox.

"Alyssa, what are you doing?"

Genna bit her lip at the hard edge of impatience in Jared's voice. His frayed temper was dangerously close to snapping. The mutinous look on Alyssa's face gave Genna the sick feeling that the showdown was about to take place.

"Digging," Alyssa snapped, not looking up from her task.

"You can't dig in the yard." Jared reined in his anger and tried more gently. "Why don't you go dig in your sandbox?"

"I hate it!"

She might as well have slapped him. Genna thought. Jared had spent a whole day lovingly slaving over building that sandbox, and Alyssa knew it. She was deliberately lashing out at him, and emotionally, it didn't matter that she was only five and he was thirty, her words still hurt him.

Jared went pale. A muscle worked furiously in his jaw. It took every ounce of willpower Genna had to keep from intervening. She loved them both and hated to see either suffer, but she knew this had to come to a head.

"Alyssa, go to the backyard," he said in a tight voice.

"No."

"Alyssa, go to-"

Splat. More black dirt crumbled over his shoes.

"Alyssa Hennessy," Jared said menacingly, yanking his daughter to her feet. "Go to your room."

Alyssa wriggled out of his grasp. She threw her shovel at him and yelled, "No!" "No!"

"Do it, Alyssa!" He took one threatening step in her direction, and Alyssa burst into tears and made a beeline for Genna's house.

Jared wheeled around and watched her go, his chest heaving, his face red. Methodically, he bent and scooped up the dirt at his feet, his hands squeezing it into a hard ball. Genna flinched as he swore viciously, then turned and flung the ball of dirt down the street, narrowly missing the Ralstons' yard jockey and sending Mrs Ralston's poodle, Clyde, shrieking for the shelter of their porch. Jared didn't even spare Genna a glance as he yanked open the screen door and stormed into his house.

Seconds later Bernice came out looking as if she'd seen a ghost. She leaned back against the screen, her generous bosom working like a bellows, her arms spread wide at her sides as if to keep a monster from coming out the door.

"You okay, Bernice?" Genna asked.

"Oh-oh-sure, honey," she puffed. "I'm not taking any chances is all. I think maybe I'll go bowling or something."

"Good idea."

"Better than staying here and getting my head handed to me." She eased away from the door, casting a nervous glance over her shoulder. "Maybe you can get the boss to go out for dinner. Or just toss him some raw meat through the door."

"Don't worry about it, Bernice. I'll take care of him. He just needs some time alone."

Genna slipped quietly into her kitchen and went in search of the source of all the commotion. Alyssa was kneeling on the carpet with her face on Genna's love seat, crying her heart out. Without a word Genna sat down and reached her arms out to Jared's daughter. They were filled immediately.

"I want my mommy!" Alyssa sobbed over and over.

"I know you do, honey," Genna said, idly stroking the girl's black tresses. "I know you miss her, baby."

"I want her to come back from heaven. Make her come back!"

Genna's heart twisted. This wasn't the kind of lesson a little one should have to learn. "I'm sorry, it doesn't work like that, Lyss. I wish it did. Are you angry with her for going to heaven?"

The little head bobbed against Genna's breast as the sobs came harder.

"I understand that, honey. You don't have to feel bad. But you know your mommy wouldn't have left you if she'd had a choice. I'm sure she loved you very much."

"I miss her."

"I know."

For a long while they sat silently, Genna giving Alyssa time to cope with the feelings that had been building inside her like a head of steam.

"I love my daddy," Alyssa whispered, sniffling.

Genna handed her a tissue and hugged her close. "He knows that, baby. He loves you too. But you know you hurt his feelings, don't you?"

Alyssa nodded, the tears coming again. "I'm naughty. He's angry and he won't want me to be his little girl anymore."

"No, honey, that's not true," Genna a.s.sured her. "You'll have to tell him you're sorry, but he'll forgive you. And I know for sure he'll always want you to be his little girl."

Eventually Alyssa ran out of tears and misgivings, and fell asleep in Genna's arms. Genna laid her on the love seat, ignoring the child's dirty knees and sneakers, and covered her bare legs with a quilt.

The afternoon sky had grown dark with the prospect of a shower, and the living room was cloaked in cool shadows, but Genna didn't turn on any lamps. As the rain began, she went to the kitchen to work off some of her own frustrations by baking a cake. When that task was finished she sat down on the couch across from Alyssa, curling her legs under her like a cat, and waited.

It wasn't long before Jared walked in the back door. His hair was damp. Raindrops had made dark spots on his T-shirt and jeans. The cold gray light that seeped in through the windows fell on the drawn lines of his face. He looked as if he'd just lost his last and best friend. The mischief that usually filled his blue eyes had been replaced with an unbelievable anguish. He said nothing, didn't seem to notice Genna curled up on the couch.

She watched him as he stood gazing down at his daughter. He looked as if a terrible war raged inside him and he was terrified of the outcome. He reached out once toward the sleeping child, but his hand fell back to his side like a marionette's whose string had been cut.

After a moment he turned and wandered around the living room, stopping in front of a curio cabinet that sat against the far wall below the stairs. He stood staring at the cabinet with its collection of porcelain animals, his eyes traveling across each shelf, taking in horses, sheep, dogs, rabbits. Genna went to sit on the third step so he would know she was there for him when he was ready to talk.

"I don't know," he said at last, his voice huskier than usual. "I-I'm trying so so hard to be a good father to her." hard to be a good father to her."

"You are a good father to her."

"Oh, yeah?" he asked with a caustic laugh, still not looking at Genna. "Then how come I feel like a louse? How come I never know the right thing to say or do, and I always seem to blow it when it counts?"