The Talking Beasts Part 44

Pairing Time Antic.i.p.ated

I shall not ask Jean Jacques Rousseau If birds confabulate or no; 'Tis clear that they were always able To hold discourse, at least in fable; And e'en the child who knows no better Than to interpret by the letter A story of a c.o.c.k and bull Must have a most uncommon skull.

It chanced then on a winter day, But warm and bright and calm as May, The Birds conceiving a design To forestall sweet Saint Valentine, In many an orchard, copse and grove, a.s.sembled on affairs of love, And with much twitter, and much chatter, Began to agitate the matter.

At length a Bullfinch, who could boast More years and wisdom than the most, Entreated, opening wide his beak, A moment's liberty to speak; And silence publicly enjoined, Delivered, briefly, thus his mind-- "My friends! Be cautious how ye treat The subject upon which we meet; I fear we shall have winter yet."

A Finch, whose tongue knew no control, With golden wing and satin poll, A last year's bird who ne'er had tried What marriage means, thus pert replied: "Methinks the gentleman," quoth she, "Opposite in the appletree, By his good will would keep us single, Until yonder heavens and earth shall mingle, Or (which is likelier to befall) Until death exterminate us all.

I marry without more ado, My dear d.i.c.k Redcap; what say you?"

d.i.c.k heard, and tweedling, ogling, bridling; With many a strut and many a sidling, Attested, glad, his approbation Of an immediate conjugation.

Their sentiments so well expressed Influenced mightily the rest; All paired, and each pair built a nest.

But though the birds were thus in haste, The leaves came on not quite so fast, And Destiny, that sometimes bears An aspect stern on man's affairs, Not altogether smiled on theirs.

The wind, of late breathed gently forth, Now shifted east and east by north; Bare trees and shrubs but ill, you know, Could shelter them from rain or snow; Stepping into their nests, they paddled, Themselves were chilled, their eggs were addled, Soon every father-bird and mother Grew quarrelsome and pecked each other, Parted without the least regret, Except that they had ever met, And learned in future to be wiser Than to neglect a good adviser.

WILLIAM COWPER

The Poet, the Oyster, and Sensitive Plant

An Oyster cast upon the sh.o.r.e Was heard, though never heard before, Complaining in a speech well worded, And worthy thus to be recorded: "Ah, hapless wretch comdemn'd to dwell Forever in my native sh.e.l.l, Ordain'd to move when others please, Not for my own content or ease, But toss'd and buffeted about, Now in the water, and now out.

'Twere better to be born a stone Of ruder shape and feeling none, Than with a tenderness like mine, And sensibilities so fine!

I envy that unfeeling shrub, Fast rooted against every rub."

The plant he meant grew not far off, And felt the sneer with scorn enough; Was hurt, disgusted, mortified, And with asperity replied.

("When," cry the botanists, and stare, "Did plants call'd Sensitive grow there?"

No matter when--a poet's muse is To make them grow just where she chooses): "You shapeless nothing in a dish, You that are but almost a fish, I scorn your coa.r.s.e insinuation, And have most plentiful occasion To wish myself the rock I view, Or such another dolt as you.

For many a grave and learned clerk, And many a gay unlettered spark, With curious touch examines me If I can feel as well as he; And when I bend, retire, and shrink, Says, 'Well--'tis more than one would think.'

Thus life is spent! oh fie upon't, In being touched, and crying--'Don't'!"

A poet, in his evening walk, Overheard and checked this idle talk.

"And your fine sense," he said, "and yours, Whatever evil it endures, Deserves not, if so soon offended, Much to be pitied or commended.

Disputes, though short, are far too long, Where both alike are in the wrong; Your feelings in their full amount Are all upon your own account."

"You, in your grotto-work enclosed, Complain of being thus exposed, Yet nothing feel in that rough coat, Save when the knife is at your throat.

Wherever driven by wind or tide, Exempt from every ill beside."

"And as for you, my Lady Squeamish, Who reckon every touch a blemish, If all the plants that can be found Embellishing the scene around, Should droop and wither where they grow, You would not feel at all, not you.

The n.o.blest minds their virtue prove By pity, sympathy, and love: These, these are feelings truly fine, And prove their owner half divine."

His censure reached them as he dealt it.

And each by shrinking show'd he felt it.

WILLIAM COWPER

The Pineapple and the Bee

The Pineapples, in triple row, Were basking hot, and all in blow.

A Bee of most deserving taste Perceived the fragrance as he pa.s.s'd.

On eager wing the spoiler came, And searched for crannies in the frame, Urged his attempt on every side, To every pane his trunk applied; But still in vain, the frame was tight, And only pervious to the light: Thus having wasted half the day, He trimm'd his flight another way.

Our dear delights are often such, Exposed to view, but not to touch; The sight our foolish heart inflames, We long for pineapples in frames; With hopeless wish one looks and lingers; One breaks the gla.s.s, and cuts his fingers; But they whom Truth and Wisdom lead, Can gather honey from a weed.

WILLIAM COWPER

Amelia and the Spider

The muslin torn, from tears of grief In vain Amelia sought relief; In sighs and plaints she pa.s.sed the day, The tattered frock neglected lay: While busied at the weaving trade, A Spider heard the sighing maid, And kindly stopping in a trice, Thus offered (gratis) her advice: "Turn, little girl, behold in me A stimulus to industry; Compare your woes my dear, with mine, Then tell me who should most repine; This morning, ere you'd left your room, The chambermaid's relentless broom, In one sad moment that destroyed To build which thousands were employed.

The shock was great, but as my life I saved in the relentless strife, I knew lamenting was in vain, So patient went to work again; By constant work a day or more My little mansion did restore.

And if each tear which you have shed Had been a needleful of thread, If every sigh of sad despair Had been a st.i.tch of proper care, Closed would have been the luckless rent, Nor thus the day have been misspent."

ANONYMOUS

The Goose and the Swans

A Goose, affected, empty, vain, The shrillest of the cackling train, With proud and elevated crest, Precedence claimed above the rest, Says she, "I laugh at human race, Who say Geese hobble in their pace; Look here--the slander base detect; Not haughty man is so erect.

That Peac.o.c.k yonder, see how vain The creature's of his gaudy train.

If both were stripped, I'd pledge my word A Goose would be the finer bird.

Nature, to hide her own defects, Her bungled work with finery decks.

Were Geese set off with half that show, Would men admire the Peac.o.c.k? No!"

Thus vaunting, 'cross the mead she stalks, The cackling breed attend her walks; The sun shot down his noontide beams, The Swans were sporting in the streams.

Their snowy plumes and stately pride Provoked her spleen. "Why, there," she cried, "Again, what arrogance we see!

Those creatures, how they mimic me!

Shall every fowl the waters skim Because we Geese are known to swim?

Humility they soon shall learn, And their own emptiness discern."

So saying, with extended wings, Lightly upon the wave she springs; Her bosom swells, she spreads her plumes, And the Swan's stately crest a.s.sumes.

Contempt and mockery ensued, And bursts of laughter shook the flood.

A Swan, superior to the rest, Sprung forth, and thus the fool addressed: "Conceited thing, elate with pride, Thy affectation all deride; These airs thy awkwardness impart, And show thee plainly as thou art.

Among thy equals of the flock, Thou hadst escaped the public mock; And, as thy parts to good conduce, Been deemed an honest, hobbling Goose.

Learn hence to study wisdom's rules; Know, foppery's the pride of fools; And, striving nature to conceal, You only her defects reveal."

ANONYMOUS

The Rats and the Cheese

If Bees a government maintain, Why may not Rats, of stronger brain And greater power, as well be thought By Machiavellian axioms taught?

And so they are, for thus of late It happened in the Rats' free state.

Their prince (his subjects more to please) Had got a mighty Cheshire Cheese, In which his ministers of state Might live in plenty and grow great.

A powerful party straight combined, And their united forces joined To bring their measures into play, For none so loyal were as they; And none such patriots to support As well the country as the court.

No sooner were those Dons admitted, But (all those wondrous virtues quitted) They all the speediest means devise To raise themselves and families.

Another party well observing These pampered were, while they were starving, Their ministry brought in disgrace, Expelled them and supplied their place; These on just principles were known The true supporters of the throne.

And for the subjects' liberty, They'd (marry, would they) freely die; But being well fixed in their station, Regardless of their prince and nation, Just like the others, all their skill Was how they might their paunches fill.