The Sweetest Scent Part 14

"I'm sorry, Lance-um, Lacey," Roger said. "I am so sorry. I will do whatever I must to make things right."

"That's nice, Dad." Lacey removed his hand from her arm. "But I fear it's already too late." She turned to Jordan and Kevin. "I'd like to go home now."

For as long as the place would still be her home.

"BRO, can I come in?"

Lacey's apprehensive voice reached Bro m.u.f.fled through the door. "Whatever."

Bro lay in bed, hands behind his back, his eyes closed. He knew he was being utterly selfish, demanding all or nothing from Lacey, who was already between a rock and a hard place. Yet he couldn't stop himself. He could accuse his raging teenage hormones for that, but in the end he was well aware it was his breaking heart that was responsible for the furor. Perhaps the heart truly was the most selfish organ.

The door opened and closed. Silence lay thick and heavy in the bedroom. Which was ridiculous because normally there was nothing they couldn't talk about.

"I'm sorry, Bro," Lacey said timidly. "I can't stay, not now."

Bro couldn't keep his big mouth shut. "Would it be so bad to stay here with us-with me-and go to school here?"

"No." Her voice was barely a whisper, and Bro heard the sobs kept at bay.

"Then why-"

"I already owe so much to all of you-"

"d.a.m.n your pride!" Bro opened his eyes and jumped up to his feet. Lacey stood by the door, lovely as ever in her pretty white dress and stockings, frail like a fine piece of porcelain. And Bro felt like the proverbial bull in the china shop, stumbling around wrecking things. "You don't owe me anything! I'm the one who owes you everything I have, my whole life. For loving me, and for letting a silly oaf like me love you back...."

"I love you, Bro. I do love you. So much." She was looking at the ground, as if trying to fold in on herself and be as small and invisible as possible.

"Then don't leave!" He was yelling now, and he never did that with her, not given her background. Lacey winced and looked even more delicate and breakable. His rage forgotten, Bro begged, "Stay with me, Lace. I need you."

"I can't." She shook her head a bit, appearing sh.e.l.l-shocked and tired, too. "Valerie's here. We're gonna pack, and leave as soon as we-"

"What, now? Already? What about graduation?" Bro asked, petrified at the speed at which everything was moving, specifically rushing away from him.

"I'll have to miss it, or go to it in Seattle." Lacey was leaning against the door, as if she didn't have even enough strength to keep herself upright. "I don't mean to be cruel, Bro. But if our roles were reversed, would you be so casual about living on the pity and charity of others?"

He wanted to embrace her so bad, and force her to see it had nothing to do with pity. "It's not charity. It's love, and family, and us."

"It's money you and your family don't have, and a place in the household reserved for guests-"

"You're not a guest, Lace. You're my...." Only she wasn't his girl anymore, was she? Bro's words trailed off, and they didn't come back. He would have fought for her and for the two of them through thick and thin, all the way to the bitter end. Now the fight had been taken from him. He was too late, and in a few moments she would be gone forever. Maybe there was no reason to prolong this agony they both clearly felt.

Lacey made a move, as if to come to him, but then she didn't. Bro was partially glad. He couldn't have let her go if she ever came close enough again. They would need the Jaws of Life to detach him from her then.

Quietly she turned and left the room, un.o.bstructed. He had wanted to commit Lacey's face, body, and personality to memory with a slow exploration, but now all he had was memories of times gone by and no more chances to add new ones to that pleasant cavalcade.

Bro stood in place, feeling like the world had caved in on him. Though he didn't want them, streams of tears flowed unbidden mere seconds later. From now on he would be alone, living with half a soul.

Chapter 12.

IN LESS LESS than two hours, Lacey was sitting on an uncomfortable green plastic monstrosity called an airport waiting area seat. She hadn't cried yet. Her eyes were devoid of moisture. She felt numb, as if all of this was happening to someone else, an alien ent.i.ty within her body, taking over her life only to destroy it. than two hours, Lacey was sitting on an uncomfortable green plastic monstrosity called an airport waiting area seat. She hadn't cried yet. Her eyes were devoid of moisture. She felt numb, as if all of this was happening to someone else, an alien ent.i.ty within her body, taking over her life only to destroy it.

"You all right, sweetie?" Valerie asked next to her, touching her arm gently.

Lacey gave a weak smile. "Yes."

She held her fibergla.s.s violin case in her lap but wondered if anything but blue notes would ever ring out of it again. She clutched it with both hands, like her last lifeline.

She had spoken with Audrey on the phone as they had driven to the airport, but she couldn't make herself see her one last time. A good-bye with her best friend would surely end her, and then she would be reduced to a mere puddle of tears. Audrey had been both sad and angry that Lacey would leave without saying good-bye, but in the end Lacey hoped she understood her position. They had ended the call with promises of frequent contact, and Lacey hoped she would be able to deliver on her word. Audrey was one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

"Would you like something to drink, Lacey?" Valerie asked, startling her. "I could get you some tea from the cafe. That always calms my nerves." Her warm voice was indicative of who she was as a person, kind and empathic.

"Sure, that'd be nice. Thanks." She prayed her poor attempt at a smile worked better on her aunt than on her own mood.

Valerie moved off with a smile, in search of tea. Lacey slumped deeper into the horrid chair.

Then she just couldn't take it anymore and leave things the way they were.

She dug out her cell phone and dialed Bro's number. Please, pick up. Please Please, pick up. Please. The wait was excruciating and felt like forever as the ringtone sounded again and again.

Finally the line clicked open, but Lacey heard only heavy breathing.

"Bro...?" she asked tentatively.

"Lace?" He sounded hoa.r.s.e and m.u.f.fled, and rustling came from the background. He was in bed, and judging from his raspy voice he had been crying. Not that he would ever admit it to her.

"Yes, it's me." She was worried beyond belief. "Is everything okay?"

Complete silence fell in an instant. "You're f.u.c.king kidding, right?" came the snarky, incredulous reply.

Lacey didn't want to argue anymore. "If I were with you right now, lying next to you in bed, what would we do? What would you do to me?" He may not have been there beside her, but whenever she closed her eyes, even blinked, he was there, gorgeous and young and laughing and teasing, and everything was all right.

The awkward silence dragged on. "A-are you serious...? This is one of... those those calls?" calls?"

Lacey gave a weird, hollow laugh. "Yes. Tell me, honey. Please. I want... I want to remember you like that, when you play with me, laugh with me... love me. Please...?"

Bro sneezed, and then his voice came through clearer. "If you were here, Lace, I'd give you the sun and the moon and the world and everything."

"That's a lot." Lacey blinked away hot, itching tears. Her feet came up from the floor, curling beneath her as she folded herself together, compressed tight.

"I'd kiss you, baby. First I'd kiss your cheeks where the tears are."

Was he psychic or what? She wiped a few big drops off before they slid down any farther, and she closed her eyes, sinking into the sea of sensations his voice created. "Then what?"

"Then I'd kiss your hands 'cause I can feel them shaking. I'd kiss each of your fingers, one by one, and I'd take my time."

"Sounds wonderful." Her own voice cracked, and those stubborn tears kept on coming. She inched to lie down on two seats, curled into a ball, and let the images draw her away from this place of disconnectedness.

"I'd move to kiss your cheeks, to swipe away the salty wetness, and then I'd slide down to nip at your shoulder, and under your ear, and lick there until you shivered."

The warmth of memory within her of Bro doing just that wasn't ample protection to ward off the chills of realizing she would never get that again in real life. "Then what?"

"Then I'd undress you, baby. Slowly, just the way you want it. I'd push up your hands and then your dress to reveal that lovely chest, those pink nubs, those delicate bones, that pale skin. And then I'd bite down hard, mark you as mine."

"Yes, please," Lacey urged him quietly, her lips trembling, her body wracked with sad vibrations. "Love it when you claim me as yours."

"I'd suck up a mark, and then a dozen more, all over. I'd yank the dress off, and then I'd go down on my knees, and take off your undies and your stockings."

He was sounding breathless in a different way now, and Lacey wished she were in a private room somewhere, able to let herself recall his arms around hers, his fingers digging into her backside and thighs, his body firm and l.u.s.tful against her. But she was lying alone on a c.r.a.ppy seat at the airport, with no privacy to speak of, let alone intimacy.

"I love you, Bro. I love you so much. I need you here. Need you to hold me." Saying the heartfelt confession out loud wasn't even half as torturous as it had felt keeping it inside for fear of upsetting him more. "Wish I was there with you. Wish I could feel your arms around me. Wish your breath would tickle my neck. Wish you would...." She couldn't finish because by then she was sobbing fully in a public place. Great, just how I want to go Great, just how I want to go.

"I'll come there if you want, Lace," Bro said in a ragged whisper. And in that one sound all that was between them could be heard.

It tore Lacey to shreds, and she was really crying then, uncontrollable bursts of grief and loss. Honestly, how could she stand to lose anyone else?

A touch on her shoulder brought her out of her sorrow, and through blurry eyes she saw Valerie's concerned face looming above. "Lacey?"

"Hang on," she said to her. Lacey wiped off most of her tears, cleared her throat, and sat up straight. "Bro, I... I gotta go." Any more good-byes and she would just die. "I love you. Never ever forget that, please." Then she pushed disconnect, and artificial silence took the place of Bro's puffs of air.

"Here's your tea, sweetie." Valerie offered Lacey a white plastic cup with chamomile tea, the scent wafting her way with the columns of steam.

"Thanks." Lacey blew gently on the surface and then took a sip, burning the tip of her tongue. "Ouch. Hot." She smiled sheepishly back to her aunt. "Thanks."

"You've said that, Lacey." Valerie's concerned look shifted to a more decisive one. "Listen, I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest." Lacey frowned but nodded, nervous about her plain tone. "Do you really want to come with me now, and live in Seattle with me and my family?"

"You are my family," she said unequivocally.

"Yes." She smiled and petted her hair tenderly. "But I'm not your only only family, am I?" Lacey swallowed hard, not knowing how to answer that. "The reason why I came to find you is because I was certain your father had not been able to deal with his loss and therefore neglected or mistreated you. I also a.s.sumed you had never gotten used to DC, and still considered Seattle your home." She took a deep breath, but her gaze was level. "Only one of those is true, isn't that right? This is your home now, isn't it?" family, am I?" Lacey swallowed hard, not knowing how to answer that. "The reason why I came to find you is because I was certain your father had not been able to deal with his loss and therefore neglected or mistreated you. I also a.s.sumed you had never gotten used to DC, and still considered Seattle your home." She took a deep breath, but her gaze was level. "Only one of those is true, isn't that right? This is your home now, isn't it?"

Lacey looked at her lap, clung to her violin case like to a baby, and replied, "You are my family, my mother's sister."

"Yes, honey, and I always will be. That's not going to change even if we were to live on different continents." Valerie put her arm around Lacey's shoulders and carefully pulled her near. "But that's not what I'm asking, and I think you know it. Would you rather stay here?" Suddenly she looked stern, as if antic.i.p.ating opposition. "And don't you dare ask me whether I want to have you around because I think you know the answer to that, too."

Lacey nodded pensively, at the same time elated and afraid. "I... I want to stay here. He needs me. And I need him, too. Maybe one day things will be different, but... but not now."

"What about the music schools?" That had Lacey in a bind. Money would always be an issue for her from now on. Valerie chuckled a bit mockingly. "Oh, honey. Didn't it occur to you that you can get the same scholarships on the East Coast as the west? After all, people from all over the country apply to the best colleges all over the US, and beyond. You could live in Seattle with us on paper but still go to an eastern school." Lacey opened her mouth to speak, but Valerie got there first. "But, as you said, you have built a life here and forged a new family. I think that is something I have to take into account."

The possibility of a full ride truthfully hadn't registered in Lacey's mind at all. She thought about all the conservatories and inst.i.tutions of music she had applied to, and only now realized most all of them must offer stipends and other financial aid for promising students. How could I have been so stupid as not to think of those options? How could I have been so stupid as not to think of those options? Probably because she had always believed there was plenty of money in her trust fund and had never had to think in those terms, of needing funds to finance a higher education. But all that was no excuse for such blatant thoughtlessness. She shook her head in disbelief and then harrumphed with guilt and remorse, and finally sighed with renewed hope. Probably because she had always believed there was plenty of money in her trust fund and had never had to think in those terms, of needing funds to finance a higher education. But all that was no excuse for such blatant thoughtlessness. She shook her head in disbelief and then harrumphed with guilt and remorse, and finally sighed with renewed hope.

But that wasn't the only concern or problem left to be solved.

"B-but what about custody?" Lacey stammered, hope kindling inside her so strongly it was burning away all doubts.

"The order was temporary to begin with," Valerie replied, full of resolve and practical drive. Lacey really liked her, and that made her smile. She didn't remember them, as a family, having much contact with Valerie when they had lived in Seattle. Roger must have been an influence there too. "I'm sure Detective Waters can arrange for a third temporary custody order for you. Let's all trust that will be the last one. Third time's the charm." Then she bussed Lacey's cheek and smiled wickedly. "And don't worry. My family and I will see you soon when we come over to celebrate your graduation and and your birthday with you. After all, it's frequent-flyer miles." She winked conspiratorially. your birthday with you. After all, it's frequent-flyer miles." She winked conspiratorially.

Lacey didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So she did both. Then Valerie hugged her, and for a time all was right with the world. Or for Lacey, anyway, since the world stopped hurtling out of control and finally let her take in the scenery. Valerie soothed her with rubs to her back, crooning in her ear.

"Thank you, Aunt Valerie," Lacey whispered. "Thank you so much."

Valerie leaned back, wiped the tears from Lacey's cheeks, and smiled encouragingly. "So, you about ready to get out of here?"

"BRO? You coming to dinner?" Sebastian peeked past the doorframe.

"Not hungry." Bro lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, not seeing it.

He held his cell phone in his hand, hoping and praying that whatever interruption Lacey had had-he checked the time on the cell-forty minutes ago, it wouldn't recur, and she would call again. Her sadness had been so palpable, and just when Bro had been sure his heart was broken into so many trillions of pieces already it couldn't possibly get any worse, it had broken a little more. Bradley had called him once, but Bro had ordered him off the phone just in case. So far, though, nothing.

Bro more sensed than saw his brother come in and sit on the bed, which dipped a little as a result. "Lacey wouldn't want you to stop eating, or living for that matter." Then he added with signs, "Well, would she?"

"No." Bro sighed, but his eyes were dry now. f.u.c.k, for a change. But he wasn't having a lot of luck believing the flood had been permanently averted. Maybe in a decade or two he could function like a regular person again. "But I'm not hungry. Leave me alone." He turned to his side, away from his brother.

Sebastian's hand landed on his hip, resting at first, but then shaking.

"What?" Bro turned back, irked.

"Sorry. I couldn't see if you were saying something," Sebastian retorted innocently.

Bro shifted on the bed until his back leaned against the headboard and he had free rein over his hands. "I'm on to you, brother. I know all your tactics and games. You're not fooling me," he signed.

Sebastian smiled sweetly and bowed his head in recognition. But then he signed, "If you're not out and sitting at the dinner table in five minutes, Ambrosius, we're all coming in here to have dinner with you. And trust me, we don't want to. It smells funny in here."

Hating the use of his whole name, even signed, Bro rolled his eyes and made a big deal about sniffing the air. "I'm a teenager and a jock. What'd you expect? I'm nothing but odors, dude."

Sebastian scrunched his nose cutely. "Don't call me that."

"I'll call you worse if you don't get the fu-out." Bro pointed at the door. It was a silly, childish gesture, and as expected, Sebastian just chuckled.

"I'm here if you want to talk, Bro. I hope you know that." The fact that Sebastian said that out loud told Bro he was serious, and the understanding look in his eyes confirmed as much.

"I know, Bas. I'm not ready." He ignored the pain inside, making his signs as casual as he could.

"Are you hoping Lacey will choose not to go and come back to you?"

G.o.d, his brother had a master's in mind reading for sure. "Is that dumb?"