The Surrender: Falling In Part 19

"Don't leave angry," she said as she stepped onto the sidewalk slightly out of breath.

"What're you doing, Scout?"

"I'm stopping you."

"Not now, with him? What the h.e.l.l's going on? What does he have on you?"

Scout shook her head. "N-nothing. We're just friends."

He shot her a disbelieving look. Tentatively he reached up and tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear that kept catching in the wind.

"It doesn't have to be like this, Scout."

"Like what, Parker?"

"I see the way he looks at you. He watches you like he wants to devour you and treats you like a possession."

She flinched. True, their original agreement lacked any form of intimate knowledge, but sometime over the past few days that changed. She had to believe Lucian saw her as more than a possession. She certainly saw more to him than she originally a.s.sumed. If it were materialistic, things never would have gotten this complicated. Hurt pride and trust never would have come into play.

"Is that what you think? That he bought me?"

He fingered the lapel of her new jacket. "Didn't he?"

Her shoulders trembled, but not from the cold. She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath as hurt and rage chilled her bones.

"You're a jerk, Parker Hughes. He didn't buy me. He earned me. Unlike you, he knows I'm not for sale." She wished she had something better to say, but her shock made her dense.

"He doesn't love you."

"I don't want him to!"

Eyes searching, he looked at her. "Money isn't everything, Scout. You think it's power and what runs the world, but you're wrong. It owns a person. Don't let it own you."

Her jaw locked. Impatiently she stomped her foot. "Money is freedom, Parker. I've been homeless for twenty-two years. I won't make it twenty more. I refuse to be another Jane Doe."

"And does he see you as something more? Does he get the real you that I know or just some dressed-up imitation of what he wants you to be? How could you . . . how could you give yourself to someone who knows nothing about you? Don't do it, Scout."

Too late. Her fingers twitched with the urge to slap him. She was not a violent person, but f.u.c.k him. The quietly fierce whisper that slipped out was inconsistent with the rage building inside of her.

"Screw you, Parker Hughes. You don't know me any better than he does." Her throat constricted and her shoulders jerked with chills. There was such extreme judgment in his stare, she felt naked and resented him for pressing such shame upon her. He could accuse Lucian of buying her favors all he wanted, but Parker was the one claiming she came with a price tag, and by the way he was looking at her, it was a cheap one at that.

"Evelyn." Lucian, no longer across the street, now stood a few feet away. His expression was unreadable. "Dugan's going to take your friend home. His meal's waiting for him in the limo."

Scout glanced back at Parker, who scornfully watched Lucian. She couldn't do this. She turned and Lucian wrapped his suit jacket over her shoulders and escorted her back into Patras.

Chapter 21.

Coward When they returned to the penthouse, their meal had been delivered there. They ate in silence. Well, Lucian ate. She picked.

"You need to eat, Evelyn."

"How could he say those things about me? I am not a wh.o.r.e!" she whispered to herself.

Lucian's knife clanked to the table. "Friend or not, if I ever hear Mr. Hughes speak such words to you, he'll find himself without a tongue."

Scout looked up at Lucian, who was gazing back at her, his eyes intense pools of unfathomable black. She realized this was not a topic to discuss with him. They stared at each other for a long moment, neither of them saying a word, but understanding that certain truths of their a.s.sociation were too painful to hear.

Finally, needing to break the solemn spell blanketing the suite, she said, "Let's play chess."

Once deep in the match, Lucian was distracted. Either that or her skill was improving. She highly doubted the latter.

The match was quiet and lacking the usual cheer that accompanied their games. They had each removed their shoes, jackets, accessories, and Lucian had sacrificed his tie. She frowned over the board, recognizing several moves he could make that would rapidly end the game. If she was noticing these opportunities that meant Lucian had definitely spotted them and purposefully avoided them.

Scout didn't like playing with mock ambition. His moves felt charitable and she bristled at the sense of being pitied or coddled. Deliberately, she moved her queen before his rook, sacrificing her most powerful player. He looked at her.

"Evelyn . . ."

"What? I thought we were trying to see who could make the stupidest move. Go ahead. Take her."

"What're you doing?" he grumbled as she began to unb.u.t.ton her pants. "Evelyn, stop. We don't have to play by those rules anymore."

She slid her pants over her legs. "Why not? Good company and compet.i.tion, right?" She tossed her pants on the floor and knocked her queen off the board since he refused to take it. "Your turn."

He made an imbecilic move that left his king incredibly vulnerable. It was too rare an opportunity to ignore. She took his knight. He moved his bishop and exposed his queen. She took her. The game moved like this for several plays, leaving Lucian in only his pants, but looking no less in control. Then she finally saw what he was doing.

Checkmate.

One move left and she'd put his king in check. The only option he'd have to escape would lead her to capture his other bishop, her move inevitably ending the game, her calling checkmate.

He was sabotaging them. Why? She looked at him, hurt clogging her throat. How could he do that?

He stared back at her with, not challenge, but quiet defeat.

"Make the move, Evelyn."

With shaky hands she took his bishop and put him in check.

"Say it," he gritted, gaze focused on the board.

Her chin quivered as she stared back into his hard face. He was doing it again, pushing her into corners and pulling away. It always hurt. She didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to say those words. He was offering her mercy in his mind, but to her it only felt like rejection. She swept her hand across the board angrily, the heavy pieces clattering to the floor, and stood.

"If you want to hear those words so bad, say them yourself!"

She stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door.

How could he try to force her into a corner like that? He was the one who begged for her to come back, and in doing so, something frightening had been unleashed inside of her, something that said this was less about taking shoes with her when she left and more about experiencing him while she was here.

She wasn't ready to go. All his talk about trust and surrender, he'd tapped into a part of her she hadn't realized existed, a curious and eager part that wanted him, not because he'd coerced her or named her price, but because she really believed he wanted her too.

She'd been naive to a.s.sume the physical act of s.e.x could exist apart from emotional entanglement. For days she'd battled her emotions, unsure where this deluge of feelings had come from. Her life experience was limited. It didn't compute with Lucian's depth and understanding.

They'd just started to find their rhythm and now he seemed to be pushing her away. Why? Had he changed his mind?

After having Parker lay her bare and accuse her of being the one thing she wanted to avoid being, she was beginning to worry that was exactly what she had become.

No. Part of her couldn't accept that. There was something deeper here between Lucian and her. Something emotional others couldn't see and she didn't fully understand. Maybe Lucian didn't understand it either.

He tried to manipulate her, which he had done before, but this time was different. He was aiming at something final, something she wasn't ready to give now that he'd convinced her to stay.

His emotions ran about as calm as rapids breaking over the sh.o.r.e. She never knew if an encounter would run smooth or turn into a choppy mess. He hurt her. What he'd just tried to do was unexpected and surprisingly upsetting. It was the action of a coward.

Chapter 22.

Handle With Care Lucian came into the bedroom only minutes after Scout had changed and climbed under the covers. Her pillow was damp with tears. The whisper of his clothing was the only sound as he quietly undressed in the dark, and then the mattress dipped as he climbed in beside her.

He slid over and pressed his body into hers. His mouth kissed her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Evelyn."

She sniffled. "Why? Do you want me to go?"

He sighed. "No, but I need to know you're here because you choose to be, not because of anything I'm providing for you or because you feel coerced. I know, in the beginning, that was all this was supposed to be, but my needs are changing. I need to know you're here because you want to be."

She turned and faced him, squinting to see his face under the shadows.

"Lucian, when people find out my background they're automatically going to think I'm a gold-digging charity case. As someone who's never had money, I can a.s.sure you I want it, but only if I earn it. That's why I work. Being with you isn't the same. I'm here now because I like being around you.

"The clothes, the fancy dinners, the perfumes and expensive salon treatments, they're all very new and exciting, but none of it's necessary. You like eating at fancy places that require appropriate clothing. I'd go with you in my jeans and sweatshirt if I knew it wouldn't embarra.s.s you."

"Evelyn-"

"Let me finish. I don't mean to say you're shallow, I'm just saying you live in a different world than I'm used to, one I can't afford.

"I could fill days with free things for us to do and still be very happy having your 'company.' When I came to you the other night it was by choice, not obligation. You've never made me feel like a paid-for wh.o.r.e. Please don't think of all those gestures as deposits for my time. If you start thinking of our a.s.sociation that way it'll only make it true. As much as I respect money and the power it wields, it's not why I'm here. Something's happened in the past few days-I'm not sure what-but I want to stay."

He touched her cheek. "If I ever make you feel indebted, tell me. I do those things for you because I want to, because I don't know any other way to show I care."

"I know." She smiled in the darkness and leaned in to softly press her lips to his. He stilled for a moment as if she surprised him, then slowly leaned into the kiss.

He pressed her back into the mattress as his mouth moved over hers with deliberate slowness. Her thighs pulled together as a small fire began to burn in her belly. His hand gently coasted over her hair and down to her shoulder. Something about his touch was different, softer.

Lucian tenderly stroked her arm and she waited for him to move further over her. When he didn't, she gently took his hand and placed it on her breast again, taking him by surprise. He paused for a moment, then kissed tenderly down her throat. Scout arched into him as he palmed her breast over her nightgown, ma.s.saging pleasantly, but not taking it any further.

She sensed his need, yet when she tried to touch him, he diverted her motions and subdued her with a slow kiss. This went on and on, her trying in her own inexperienced way to timidly push things further, and him, the aggressor, gently rebuffing her efforts.

Their kisses fell into such soft caresses she grew sleepy. Lucian caressed her skin with long, soothing strokes. She felt as if she were being hypnotized. Eventually Lucian softly eased away and whispered good night. She was confused, but exhaustion made it difficult to figure out exactly why. Frowning into the darkness, her thoughts slowly faded into dreams.

Chapter 23.

a.s.shole Lucian left early the following morning. Scout woke to find the bed cold and him dressing quietly in the dark. He said he had meetings downtown for most of the morning and suggested she spend the day enjoying herself. He told her how to order breakfast and recommended if she got bored she visit the boutique downstairs for a bathing suit and go for a swim in the hotel pool. She didn't do any of that.

Scout had a long bath and figured out how to use a blow-dryer. Her hair doubled in size and curled. She liked it because it was different, but she wasn't confident enough to actually leave the room that way.

She spent an hour practicing putting on makeup. She got a little carried away with her eyes and ended up washing it all off and starting over again.

For breakfast Scout ordered a bagel and an ice cream sundae. She was amused with her disregard for social order and three square meals until the attendant that delivered the sundae looked at her judgmentally. Then she felt juvenile and stupid. Luckily, the ice cream was exceptional and it soothed her embarra.s.sment.

She dressed in jeans and a sheer blouse, then changed into a tight skirt with a loose green sweater and wide brown belt. Scout stood in front of the long mirror in the guest room and tried on one pair of shoes after another.

As she zipped up a sleek pair of leather boots, there was a knock at the door. Not wasting time removing the boots, she scampered to the front door and opened it. Her pleasant, easygoing mood evaporated.

"Ah, Scout," Slade greeted dryly.

"Lucian's not here." She stepped behind the door, wishing she'd left her jeans on and not changed into the short skirt.

"I'm aware. He should be here soon. He asked me to wait for him."

It didn't feel right having someone else in the penthouse. She'd come to think of it as hers and Lucian's s.p.a.ce, their hideout, like a little tree fort above the city.

"Oh, come in."

Slade stepped into the suite, and she shut the door. He walked to Lucian's desk and deposited some papers there.

Lucian didn't like people around his desk.

When he turned on her, Scout froze. They stood, facing off for a moment, then he moved to the bar and helped himself to a drink.

Gently, she sat on the edge of the settee, very aware of her posture and forcing her knees together, trying her best to mimic Dr. Sheffield's confidence. He turned and openly scrutinized her as he sipped his drink.

"How long did Lucian say he would be?" she asked nervously.

"He didn't. He said he was on his way."