The Spirit of the Links Part 13

"Of course not," the Colonel replied, "but it has to be remembered that this was really almost a matter of life and death to the old man, and in such a case he was perhaps not to be blamed for sticking to the strict letter of the law. From our point of view the spirit is above the law; but when it comes to a case of this kind, with goodness knows how many thousands at stake, a merciless fellow on the other side who is himself inclined to stick to the law exactly, and when Lazarus, as he says, intends to have done with the game, why I am not sure that from his point of view--his, mind you--he is to be condemned for throwing the spirit overboard. His opponent would do so--in fact, to all intents and purposes he does. This has become a strictly business transaction. The question is, did he break the law?"

"You remember the Rules Committee's decision in the famous Selkirk case in 1906?" the M.P. asked. "It showed the Committee's very proper anxiety to preserve the true spirit even to the extent of straining the interpretation of the rule about touching the line of the putt. I believe some of them privately admitted that they were conscious of straining it; but they were doing so in a very good cause, and to my mind they were to be applauded rather than blamed. In this case a foursome was being played, and while one man was preparing to putt, his partner stood two yards beyond the hole on the other side, and from there pointed out the line of the putt, incidentally letting his putter rest on the turf to do so--two yards beyond the hole. The opponents claimed the hole on the ground that the line of the putt had been touched, meaning that the line from the ball to the hole, continued beyond the hole, was still the line of the putt. The case was sent to St. Andrews, and the Rules Committee upheld the claim and gave the hole to the opponents--a remarkable decision!"

"H'm!" the Colonel grunted. "Of course, give some golfers an inch and they will take a yard; and supposing the putter had been laid on that line only two inches beyond the hole, the green had been very keen, and had sloped down to the hole from the back side. If the ball had got to the point where the putter had rested it might conceivably have rolled back into the hole. There would be splendid justification for the Rules Committee in a case of that kind, and it would prove the wisdom of the Selkirk decision. Of course every day of our lives we see golfers, when studying their putts from the back side of the hole, allowing their putters to rest on the green in the continuation of the line. However, Lazarus seems to have been quite clear of any decision of this kind. By no stretch of imagination can you call a line which is a foot to one side of the real line, although parallel to it, 'the line of the putt.'"

"The Americans have been tinkering with a proposed new set of rules,"

the Author said, "and one of their suggested rules prohibits a practice swing anywhere except on the tee. That would govern this case."

"Ah yes, but what about our own code?" the Colonel said.

"The practice stroke is not forbidden," the M.P. observed after careful reference to the rules, "but I remember that on one occasion a very similar point was submitted to the Rules Committee, and they said that such a thing was so obviously contrary to the spirit of the game that they had not thought it necessary to legislate upon the point. And they have not done so, and"--

"That is so, and they were quite right," the Colonel interrupted hurriedly, "because this is golf, and we cannot have rules in our code to say that men must not cheat, and the penalties for doing so. It would be too much of a reflection on us as gentlemen and golfers. But here is a most exceptional case, where advantage is taken of the omission, and Lazarus appeals to the law and the law only. He will stand by the law--the strict letter of it."

"I believe he must have his money," the Author said.

"It is the law," said the M.P.

"I think so," put in the Parson.

"Then, Septimus," the Colonel concluded, "will you kindly tell your friend Lazarus that he may send a chartered accountant round to Dives'

headquarters to examine his financial position, with a view to a proper apportionment of his estate on the basis of nineteen parts to Dives and one part to Lazarus? And you had better tell the new record-holder at the same time that we don't like this sort of thing, and we expect him to keep to his statement that he will not play the game again. He will have the fever on him after that 68, and with a few thousands a year at his disposal he will be after getting into all the clubs. I know these renunciations of golf. I have renounced myself--hundreds of times!"

At this moment the door opened and the steward entered to say that luncheon was ready. "Splendid!" exclaimed the Colonel. "Gentlemen, the court is closed!"

V

Golf remained impossible in the afternoon, and the M.P. filled up his time by working out some golf statistics with a view to indicating to the ignorant public what was comprised in a year of golf.

"You see," he said, "sooner or later some of the very high authorities will find it to be necessary to take very serious notice of this game, of the number of people whose time it claims, of the land it engages, of the capital sunk in it, and of the enormous current expenditure upon it.

Golf has really become a considerable factor in the social scheme of this country, and this must be recognised by legislators. I see that the Union authorities at Wirral have been giving some attention to the matter, with the result that they have jumped on the Royal Liverpool Club with an enormously increased a.s.sessment. The process of milking the golfer will begin soon."

"Well," said the Colonel indulgently, "if our little game is to become a matter of national importance, you will be having questions asked about it in the House before long; eh, William?"

"It is odd that you should make that suggestion," the Parliamentarian responded, as he began to rummage in the inside pocket of his coat, "because I have a rather curious doc.u.ment here which amplifies it somewhat. Let me see--I am sure I had it in my letter-case--well, well!--Ah yes, here it is! I was going to say that one of the keenest golf youngsters we have got in this Parliament is young Norris, whose constant object in life seems to be to pair off with one of the Opposition down to Sunningdale. I believe he would rather win the Parliamentary Handicap next year than get a small Government job. Well, in the House he is always filling up his spare time with the development of some golfing idea or other. The other night there was quite an angry discussion between him and another of his kidney upon the question as to whether, if a ball were teed alongside the Beaconsfield statue, a Ma.s.sey or a Braid could loft it over the Houses of Parliament and into the river, and eventually the pair of them went out to see what sort of a shot it really would be. The next night, when somebody whispered to him that there would be a lot more sense in discussing a Bill for the Regulation of the Rubber Core than the measure that just then was occupying the attention of the House, he got out some paper and concocted what he called a 'Forecast of a Report of the Parliamentary Proceedings in 1950,' and that is what I have got here. Just listen to this for question time:

"'HOUSE OF COMMONS--_Thursday_

"'The Speaker took the chair at 3.5.

"'UNREST IN MOROCCO

"'In answer to Mr. R. Kore (+1), the SECRETARY OF STATE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS stated that no more rubber-cored b.a.l.l.s would be shipped to Morocco until some kind of guarantee had been given by the Maghzen that British golfers would be treated with respect and every consideration extended to them in the pursuit of their game. Latest advices were to the effect that parties of Moors had constantly collected round the ninth green at Tangier and the third at Mogador and had made faces at the players while they were putting, causing them the most intense annoyance and completely ruining their play. His Majesty's ships _Baffy_ and _Niblick_ had been instructed to proceed to Mogador without delay, and left Gibraltar on Friday. (Loud cheers from both Government and Opposition benches.)

"'MR. A. GUTTA (10): Is it a fact that Germany has encouraged the Moors in these acts of rebellion? (Loud cries of "Order.")

"'THE SECRETARY OF STATE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS: The hon. member must perceive that public considerations make it undesirable that any answer should be given to his question.

"'MR. WILL LABOR (40): Will the right hon. gentleman inform the House what are the handicaps of the British officials at present in Morocco, and will he state whether in his opinion the rebellious att.i.tude of the Moors has been caused to some extent by the inferior playing capacity of these servants, which has been such as to excite the derision of the native population? (Loud cries of "Order" and "Withdraw.")

"'THE SPEAKER: The hon. member must not cast aspersions on the handicaps of the public servants of His Majesty's Government.

"'MR. LABOR: I could give them all a stroke a hole! ("Oh, oh.")

"'THE SPEAKER: I must ask the hon. member not to persist in these reflections on the playing quality of the Government servants in Morocco, and to withdraw what he has already said.

"'MR. LABOR: I withdraw. No doubt they are all Vardons. ("Order, order.")

"'THE SECRETARY OF STATE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS: It may interest the hon.

gentleman the member for Woolwich, to know that a cable received at the Foreign Office this morning stated that the British Consul at Mogador had just holed out with a mashie shot. (Loud and prolonged cheering.)

"'GREAT BRITAIN AND RUSSIA

"'In answer to Mr. T. Box (+4), the PRIME MINISTER (+7) said that there was no development to report in the negotiations which were at present proceeding with the Government of Russia. The British Government had suggested that under clause 563B of the Hague Convention the differences existing between the two Governments should be decided by one professional foursome, but Russia had replied that this suggestion was obviously unfair, unless the British Government gave an undertaking not to select Taylor and Braid as their representatives. In the absence of a friendly understanding on such lines as these, there would be nothing for it but for the British Government to pour golfers into Russia with a view to winning all their monthly medals and cups, and with such a possibility in view detachments of our best players had been mobilised and were now doing two practice rounds a day at Sandwich and Prestwick.

The transports _Stymie_ and _Bunker_ were in readiness, each stored with ten thousand boxes of the best b.a.l.l.s. (Loud Government and Opposition cheers.)

"'THE BOOM IN THE BALL TRADE

"'MR. R. TISAN (20) asked whether it was true that the ballmakers of Glasgow had been working twenty-four hours a day for the last six weeks, and in some cases more.

"'THE PRESIDENT OF THE BOARD OF TRADE (scratch): In no case have these ballmakers been working more than twenty-three hours a day, and they have been paid at the full twenty-four rate, and are quite satisfied. If Great Britain did not make and sell the b.a.l.l.s, America would.

"'MR. R. TISAN: But they have no time left for play.

"'THE PRESIDENT OF THE BOARD OF TRADE: They play nine holes in the dinner hour instead of utilising it in the customary manner. ("Hear, hear.")

"'NO STYMIES

"'In answer to Mr. Foozleum (42), the MINISTER OF EDUCATION (2) stated that it was not true that the children in the schools at Hoylake and Westward Ho! were being taught to play no stymies, or that they were systematically encouraged to play the score game to the neglect of true match play. What had happened was simply this, that there had been complaints that the last lot of mashies that had been received from Taylor and Forgan had not sufficient loft for very young players, and that all attempts to loft over stymies with them had failed, though the senior players experienced no such difficulties. In the circ.u.mstances the teachers, acting under authority of the Board of Education, had thought it best to suspend stymies until more mashies came to hand. As to score play, the simple fact was that one or two of the senior students were going in for the Open Championship, and had been doing a little practising in view of it. It might interest the House to know that one of them, Smith by name, had done a round of 75 at Hoylake with a wind blowing straight upwards from the turf. This was a splendid performance, and showed the efficacy of the new Education Act which the Government brought into force last year, which made the use of the _Complete Golfer_ compulsory in all elementary schools. (Loud Ministerial cheers.)

"'BILLS

"'The Bogey Amendment Bill was read a third time and pa.s.sed.

"'The Women's Handicaps Bill was read a first time.

"'CHAMPIONSHIP COURSES

"'The House then went into Committee on the Championship Courses Bill.

"'MR. JOHN BLUMOND (scratch) asked how much longer the just claims of Ireland were to be ignored. Irish golfers were in such a state of irritation, due to the way in which they were neglected, that it was impossible for them to settle down to the improvement of their game, with the result that Irish driving was never so bad as at present, and his suffering compatriots could not putt for nuts or potatoes.

[LEFT SITTING].'"