The Spirit of St. Francis de Sales Part 8

A truly charitable love of our neighbour is a rarer thing than one would think. It is like the few particles of gold which are found on the sh.o.r.es of the Tagus, among ma.s.ses of sand.

Hear what he says on this subject in the eighth of his Spiritual Conferences:

"There are certain kinds of affection which appear very elevated and very perfect in the eyes of creatures, but which in the sight of G.o.d are of low degree and valueless. Such are all friendships based, not only on true charity, which is G.o.d, but only on natural inclinations and human motives.

"On the other hand, there are friendships which in the eyes of the world appear mean and despicable, but which in the sight of G.o.d have every excellence, because they are built up in G.o.d, and for G.o.d, without admixture of human interests. Now acts of charity which are performed for those whom we love in this way are truly n.o.ble in their nature, and are, indeed, perfect acts, inasmuch as they tend purely to G.o.d, while the services which we render to those whom we love from natural inclination are of far less merit. Generally speaking, we do these more for the sake of the great delight and satisfaction they cause us than for the love of G.o.d." He goes on to say: "The former kind of friendship is likewise inferior to the latter in that it is not lasting. Its motive is so weak that when slighted or not responded to it easily grows cold, and finally disappears. Far otherwise that affection which has its foundation in G.o.d, and therefore a motive which above all others is solid and abiding.

"Human affection is founded on the possession by the person we love of qualities which may be lost. It can, therefore, never be very secure. On the contrary, he who loves in G.o.d, and only in G.o.d, need fear no change, because G.o.d is always Himself." Again, speaking on this subject, our Blessed Father says: "All the other bonds which link hearts one to another are of gla.s.s, or jet; but the chain of holy charity is of gold and diamonds." In another place he remarks: "St. Catherine of Sienna ill.u.s.trates the subject by means of a beautiful simile. 'If,' she says, 'you take a gla.s.s and fill it from a spring, and if while drinking from this gla.s.s you do not remove it from the spring, you may drink as much as you please without ever emptying the gla.s.s.' So it is with friendships: if we never withdraw them from their source they never dry up."

UPON BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER.

He laid great stress at all times on the duty of bearing with our neighbour, and thus obeying the commands of Holy Scripture, _Bear ye one another's burdens, and so you shall fulfil the law of Christ_,[1] and the counsels of the Apostle who so emphatically recommends this mutual support.

"To-day mine, to-morrow thine." If to-day we put up with the ill-temper of our brother, to-morrow he will bear with our imperfections. We must in this life do like those who, walking on ice, give their hands to one another, so that if one slips, the other who has a firm foothold may support him.

St. John the Evangelist, towards the close of his life, exhorted his brethren not to deny one another this support, but to foster mutual charity, which prompts the Christian to help his neighbour, and is one of the chiefest precepts of Jesus Christ, Who, true Lamb of G.o.d, endured, and carried on His shoulders, and on the wood of the Cross, all our sins--an infinitely heavy burden, nor to be borne by any but Him. The value set by our Blessed Father on this mutual support was marvellous, and he went so far as to look upon it as the crown of our perfection.

He says on the subject to one who was very dear to him: "It is a great part of our perfection to bear with one another in our imperfections; for there is no better way of showing our own love for our neighbour."

G.o.d will, in His mercy, bear with him who has mercifully borne with the defects of his neighbour.

_Forgive, and you shall be forgiven. Give, and it shall be given to you.

Good measure of_ blessings, _and pressed down, and shaken together, and running over shall they give into your bosom_.[2]

[Footnote 1: Gal. vi. 2.]

[Footnote 2: St. Luke vi. 37, 38.]

UPON FRATERNAL CORRECTION.

Speaking, my dear sisters, as he often did, on the important subject of brotherly or friendly reproof, our Blessed Father made use of words profitable to us all, but especially to those who are in authority, and have therefore to rule and guide others.

He said: "Truth which is not charitable proceeds from a charity which is not true."

When I asked him how we could feel certain that our reproofs were given out of sincere charity, he answered:

"When we speak the truth only for the love of G.o.d, and for the good of our neighbour, whom we are reproving."

He added: "We must follow the counsels of the great Apostle St. Paul, when he bids us reprove in a spirit of meekness.[1]

"Indeed gentleness is the intimate friend of charity and its inseparable companion." This is what St. Paul means when he says that charity is _kind_, and _beareth all things_, and _endureth all things_.[2] G.o.d, who is Charity, guides the mild in judgment and teaches the meek. His way, His Spirit, is not in the whirlwind, nor in the storm, nor in the tempest, nor in the voice of many waters; but in a gentle and whispering wind. _Mildness is come upon us_, says the Royal Psalmist, _and we shall be corrected_.[3]

Again Blessed Francis advised us to imitate the Good Samaritan, who poured oil and wine into the wounds of the poor wayfarer fallen among thieves.[4]

He used to say that "to make a good salad you want more oil than either vinegar or salt."

I will give you some more of his memorable sayings on this subject. Many a time I have heard them from his own lips: "Always be as gentle as you can, and remember that more flies are caught with a spoonful of honey than with a hundred barrels of vinegar. If we _must_ err in one direction or the other, let it be in that of gentleness. No sauce was ever spoilt by too much sugar. The human mind is so const.i.tuted that it rebels against harshness, but becomes perfectly tractable under gentle treatment. A mild word cools the heat of anger, as water extinguishes fire. There is no soil so ungrateful as not to bear fruit when a kindly hand cultivates it. To tell our neighbour wholesome truths tenderly is to throw red roses rather than red-hot coals in his face. How could we be angry with any one who pelted us with pearls or deluged us with rose water! There is nothing more bitter than a green walnut, but when preserved in sugar there is nothing sweeter or more digestible. Reproof is by nature harsh and biting, but confectioned in sweetness and warmed through and through in the fire of charity, it becomes salutary, pleasant, and even delightful. _The just will correct me with mercy, and the oil of the flatterer shall not anoint my head_.[5] _Better are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of the hypocrite_;[6] if the sharpness of the friend's tongue pierce me it is only as the lancet of the surgeon, which probes the abscess and lacerates in order to heal."

"But (I replied) truth is always truth in whatever language it may be couched, and in whatever sense it may be taken." In support of this a.s.sertion I quoted the words spoken by St. Paul to Timothy:

_Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season, reprove, entreat, rebuke in all patience and doctrine; but, according to their own desires, they will heap to themselves teachers having itching ears, and will, indeed, turn away their hearing from the truth, but will be turned into fables._[7]

Our Blessed Father replied: "The whole force of that apostolic lesson lies in the phrase: _In all patience and doctrine_. Doctrine signifies truth, and this truth must be spoken with patience. When I use the word patience, I am trying to put before you an att.i.tude of mind which is not one of confident expectation, that truth will always meet with a hearty welcome, and even some degree of acclamation; but an att.i.tude of mind which is on the contrary prepared to meet with repulse, reprobation, rejection.

"Surely, seeing that the Son of G.o.d was set for a sign of contradiction, we cannot be surprised if His doctrine, which is the truth, is marked with the same seal! Surprised! Nay, of necessity it must be so.

"Consider the many false constructions and murmurings to which the sacred truths preached by our Saviour during His life on earth were exposed!

"Was not this one of the reproaches addressed by Him to the Jews: _If I say the truth you believe me not._

"Was not our Lord Himself looked upon as an impostor, a seditious person, a blasphemer, one possessed by the devil? Did they not even take up stones to cast at him? Yet, He cursed not those who cursed Him; but repaid their maledictions with blessings, possessing His soul in patience."

Blessed Francis wrote to me on this same subject a letter, which has since been printed among his works, in which he expressed himself as follows:

"Everyone who wishes to instruct others in the way of holiness must be prepared to bear with their injustice and unreasonableness, and to be rewarded with ingrat.i.tude. Oh! how happy will you be when men slander you, and say all manner of evil of you, hating the truth which you offer them.

Rejoice with much joy, for so much the greater is your reward in Heaven. It is a royal thing to be calumniated for having done well, and to be stoned in a good cause."

[Footnote 1: Gal. vi. 1.]

[Footnote 2: 1 Cor. xiii. 4, 7.]

[Footnote 3: Psalm lx.x.xix. 10]

[Footnote 4: St. Luke x. 34.]

[Footnote 5: Psalm cxl. 5.]

[Footnote 6: Prov. xxvii. 6.]

[Footnote 7: Tim. iv. 2, 4.]

UPON FINDING EXCUSES FOR THE FAULTS OF OUR FELLOW-MEN.

I was one day complaining to him of certain small land-owners, who having nothing but their gentle birth to boast of, and being as poor as Job, yet set up as great n.o.blemen, and even as princes, boasting of their high birth, of their genealogy, and of the glorious deeds of their ancestors. I quoted the saying of the wise man, that he hated, among other things, with a perfect hatred the poor proud man, adding that I entirely agreed with him.

To boast in the mult.i.tude of our riches is natural, but to be vain in our poverty is beyond understanding.

He answered me thus: "What would you have? Do you want these poor people to be doubly poor, like sick physicians, who, the more they know about their disease the more disconsolate they are? At all events, if they are rich in honours they will think the less of their poverty, and will behave perhaps like that young Athenian, who in his madness considered himself the richest person in his neighbourhood, and being cured of his mental weakness through the kind intervention of his friends, had them arraigned before the judges, and condemned to give him back his pleasant illusion. What would you have, I repeat? It is in the very nature of n.o.bility to meet the rebuffs of fortune with a cheerful courage; like the palm-tree which lifts itself up under its burden. Would to G.o.d they had no greater failing than this! It is against that wretched and detestable habit of fighting duels that we ought to raise our voice." Saying this, he gave a profound sigh.

A certain lady had been guilty of a most serious fault, committed, indeed, through mere weakness of character, but none the less scandalous in the extreme. Our Blessed Father, being informed of what had happened, and having every kind of vehement invective against the unfortunate person poured into his ears, only said: "Human misery! human misery!" And again, "Ah! how we are encompa.s.sed with infirmity! What can we do of ourselves, but fail? We should, perhaps, do worse than this if G.o.d did not hold us by the right hand, and guide us to His will." At last, weary of fencing thus, he faced the battle, and the comments on this unhappy fall becoming ever sharper and more emphatic, exclaimed: "Oh! happy fault, of what great good will it not be the cause![1] This lady's soul would have perished with many others had she not lost herself. Her loss will be her gain, and the gain of many others."

Some of those who heard this prediction merely shrugged their shoulders.

Nevertheless, it was verified. The sinning soul returned to give glory to G.o.d, and the community which she had scandalized was greatly edified by her conversion and subsequent good example.

This story reminds me of the words used by the Church in one of her offices. Words in which she calls the sin of Adam thrice happy, since because of it the Redeemer came down to our earth--a fortunate malady, since it brought us the visit of so great a Physician.

"Even sins," says our Blessed Father, in one of his letters, "work together for good to those who truly repent of them."

[Footnote 1: Office for Holy Sat.u.r.day.]

UPON NOT JUDGING OTHERS.

Men see the exterior; G.o.d alone sees the heart, and knows the inmost thoughts of all. Our Blessed Father used to say that the soul of our neighbour was that tree of the knowledge of good and evil which we are forbidden to touch under pain of severe chastis.e.m.e.nt; because G.o.d has reserved to Himself the judgment of each individual soul. _Who art thou_, says Sacred Scripture, _who judgest thy brother?_ Knowest thou that _wherein thou judgest another thou condemnest thyself_?[1]