The Spectator Volume Ii Part 39

Dixerit e multis aliquis, quid virus in angues Adjicis? et rabidae tradis ovile lupae?

Ovid.

One of the Fathers, if I am rightly informed, has defined a Woman to be [Greek: xoon philokosmon], _an Animal that delights in Finery_. I have already treated of the s.e.x in two or three Papers, conformably to this Definition, and have in particular observed, that in all Ages they have been more careful then the Men to adorn that Part of the Head, which we generally call the Outside.

This Observation is so very notorious, that when in ordinary Discourse we say a Man has a fine Head, a long Head, or a good Head, we express ourselves metaphorically, and speak in relation to his Understanding; whereas when we say of a Woman, she has a fine, a long or a good Head, we speak only in relation to her Commode.

It is observed among Birds, that Nature has lavished all her Ornaments upon the Male, who very often appears in a most beautiful Head-dress: Whether it be a Crest, a Comb, a Tuft of Feathers, or a natural little Plume, erected like a kind of Pinacle on the very Top of the Head. [As Nature on the contrary [1] has poured out her Charms in the greatest Abundance upon the Female Part of our Species, so they are very a.s.siduous in bestowing upon themselves the finest Garnitures of Art. The Peac.o.c.k in all his Pride, does not display half the Colours that appear in the Garments of a _British_ Lady, when she is dressed either for a Ball or a Birth-day.

But to return to our Female Heads. The Ladies have been for some time in a kind of _moulting Season_, with regard to that Part of their Dress, having cast great Quant.i.ties of Ribbon, Lace, and Cambrick, and in some measure reduced that Part of the human Figure to the beautiful globular Form, which is natural to it. We have for a great while expected what kind of Ornament would be subst.i.tuted in the Place of those antiquated Commodes. But our Female Projectors were all the last Summer so taken up with the Improvement of their Petticoats, that they had not time to attend to any thing else; but having at length sufficiently adorned their lower Parts, they now begin to turn their Thoughts upon the other Extremity, as well remembring the old Kitchen Proverb, that if you light your Fire at both Ends, the middle will shift for it self.

I am engaged in this Speculation by a Sight which I lately met with at the Opera. As I was standing in the hinder Part of the Box, I took notice of a little Cl.u.s.ter of Women sitting together in the prettiest coloured Hoods that I ever saw. One of them was Blue, another Yellow, and another Philomot; [2] the fourth was of a Pink Colour, and the fifth of a pale Green. I looked with as much Pleasure upon this little party-coloured a.s.sembly, as upon a Bed of Tulips, and did not know at first whether it might not be an Emba.s.sy of _Indian_ Queens; but upon my going about into the Pit, and taking them in Front, I was immediately undeceived, and saw so much Beauty in every Face, that I found them all to be _English_. Such Eyes and Lips, Cheeks and Foreheads, could be the Growth of no other Country. The Complection of their Faces hindred me from observing any farther the Colour of their Hoods, though I could easily perceive by that unspeakable Satisfaction which appeared in their Looks, that their own Thoughts were wholly taken up on those pretty Ornaments they wore upon their Heads.

I am informed that this Fashion spreads daily, insomuch that the Whig and Tory Ladies begin already to hang out different Colours, and to shew their Principles in their Head-dress. Nay if I may believe my Friend WILL. HONEYCOMB, there is a certain old Coquet of his Acquaintance who intends to appear very suddenly in a Rainbow Hood, like the _Iris_ in _Dryden's Virgil_, not questioning but that among such a variety of Colours she shall have a Charm for every Heart.

My Friend WILL., who very much values himself upon his great Insights into Gallantry, tells me, that he can already guess at the Humour a Lady is in by her Hood, as the Courtiers of _Morocco_ know the Disposition of their present Emperor by the Colour of the Dress which he puts on. When _Melesinda_ wraps her Head in Flame Colour, her Heart is set upon Execution. When she covers it with Purple, I would not, says he, advise her Lover to approach her; but if she appears in White, it is Peace, and he may hand her out of her Box with Safety.

Will, informs me likewise, that these Hoods may be used as Signals. Why else, says he, does _Cornelia_ always put on a Black Hood when her Husband is gone into the Country?

Such are my Friend HONEYCOMBS Dreams of Gallantry. For my own part, I impute this Diversity of Colours in the Hoods to the Diversity of Complexion in the Faces of my pretty Country Women. _Ovid_ in his Art of Love has given some Precepts as to this Particular, though I find they are different from those which prevail among the Moderns. He recommends a Red striped Silk to the pale Complexion; White to the Brown, and Dark to the Fair. On the contrary my Friend WILL., who pretends to be a greater Master in this Art than _Ovid_, tells me, that the palest Features look the most agreeable in white Sa.r.s.enet; that a Face which is overflushed appears to advantage in the deepest Scarlet, and that the darkest Complexion is not a little alleviated by a Black Hood. In short, he is for losing the Colour of the Face in that of the Hood, as a Fire burns dimly, and a Candle goes half out, in the Light of the Sun. This, says he, your _Ovid_ himself has hinted, where he treats of these Matters, when he tells us that the blue Water Nymphs are dressed in Sky coloured Garments; and that _Aurora_, who always appears in the Light of the Rising Sun, is robed in Saffron.

Whether these his Observations are justly grounded I cannot tell: but I have often known him, as we have stood together behind the Ladies, praise or dispraise the Complexion of a Face which he never saw, from observing the Colour of her Hood, and has been very seldom out in these his Guesses.

As I have Nothing more at Heart than the Honour and Improvement of the Fair s.e.x, [3] I cannot conclude this Paper without an Exhortation to the _British_ Ladies, that they would excel the Women of all other Nations as much in Virtue and good Sense, as they do in Beauty; which they may certainly do, if they will be as industrious to cultivate their Minds, as they are to adorn their Bodies: In the mean while I shall recommend to their most serious Consideration the Saying of an old _Greek_ Poet,

[Greek: Gynaik kosmos ho tropos, k ou chrysia.]

C. [4]

[Footnote 1: [On the contrary as Nature]]

[Footnote 2: _Feuille mort_, the russet yellow of dead leaves.]

[Footnote 3:

I will not meddle with the Spectator. Let him _fair-s.e.x_ it to the worlds end.

Swifts Journal to Stella.]

[Footnote 4: [T.] corrected by an erratum in No. 268.]

No. 266. Friday, January 4, 1712. Steele.

Id vero est, quod ego mihi puto palmarium, Me reperisse, quomodo adolescentulus Meretric.u.m ingenia et mores possit noscere: Mature ut c.u.m cognorit perpetuo oderit.

Ter. Eun. Act. 5, Sc. 4.

No Vice or Wickedness which People fall into from Indulgence to Desire[s] which are natural to all, ought to place them below the Compa.s.sion of the virtuous Part of the World; which indeed often makes me a little apt to suspect the Sincerity of their Virtue, who are too warmly provoked at other Peoples personal Sins. The unlawful Commerce of the s.e.xes is of all other the hardest to avoid; and yet there is no one which you shall hear the rigider Part of Womankind speak of with so little Mercy. It is very certain that a modest Woman cannot abhor the Breach of Chast.i.ty too much; but pray let her hate it for her self, and only pity it in others. WILL. HONEYCOMB calls these over-offended Ladies, the Outragiously Virtuous.

I do not design to fall upon Failures in general, with relation to the Gift of Chast.i.ty, but at present only enter upon that large Field, and begin with the Consideration of poor and publick Wh.o.r.es. The other Evening pa.s.sing along near _Covent-Garden_, I was jogged on the Elbow as I turned into the Piazza, on the right Hand coming out of _James-street_, by a slim young Girl of about Seventeen, who with a pert Air asked me if I was for a Pint of Wine. I do not know but I should have indulged my Curiosity in having some Chat with her, but that I am informed the Man of the _b.u.mper_ knows me; and it would have made a Story for him not very agreeable to some Part of my Writings, though I have in others so frequently said that I am wholly unconcerned in any Scene I am in, but meerly as a Spectator. This Impediment being in my Way, we stood [under [1]] one of the Arches by Twilight; and there I could observe as exact Features as I had ever seen, the most agreeable Shape, the finest Neck and Bosom, in a Word, the whole Person of a Woman exquisitely Beautiful. She affected to allure me with a forced Wantonness in her Look and Air; but I saw it checked with Hunger and Cold: Her Eyes were wan and eager, her Dress thin and tawdry, her Mein genteel and childish. This strange Figure gave me much Anguish of Heart, and to avoid being seen with her I went away, but could not forbear giving her a Crown. The poor thing sighed, curtisied, and with a Blessing, expressed with the utmost Vehemence, turned from me. This Creature is what they call _newly come upon the Town_, but who, I suppose, falling into cruel Hands was left in the first Month from her Dishonour, and exposed to pa.s.s through the Hands and Discipline of one of those Hags of h.e.l.l whom we call Bawds. But lest I should grow too suddenly grave on this Subject, and be my self outragiously good, I shall turn to a Scene in one of _Fletchers_ Plays, where this Character is drawn, and the Oeconomy of Wh.o.r.edom most admirably described. The Pa.s.sage I would point to is in the third Scene of the second Act of _The Humorous Lieutenant. Leucippe_ who is Agent for the Kings l.u.s.t, and bawds at the same time for the whole Court, is very pleasantly introduced, reading her Minutes as a Person of Business, with two Maids, her Under-Secretaries, taking Instructions at a Table before her. Her Women, both those under her present Tutelage, and those which she is laying wait for, are alphabetically set down in her Book; and as she is looking over the Letter _C_, in a muttering Voice, as if between Soliloquy and speaking out, she says,

_Her Maidenhead will yield me; let me see now; She is not Fifteen they say: For her Complexion_--- Cloe, Cloe, Cloe, _here I have her_, Cloe,_ the Daughter of a Country Gentleman; Here Age upon Fifteen. Now her Complexion, A lovely brown; here tis; Eyes black and rolling, The Body neatly built; she strikes a Lute well, Sings most enticingly: These Helps consider'd, Her Maidenhead will amount to some three hundred, Or three hundred and fifty Crowns, twill bear it handsomly.

Her Fathers poor, some little Share deducted, To buy him a Hunting Nag_--

These Creatures are very well instructed in the Circ.u.mstances and Manners of all who are any Way related to the Fair One whom they have a Design upon. As _Cloe_ is to be purchased with [350] [2] Crowns, and the Father taken off with a Pad; the Merchants Wife next to her, who abounds in Plenty, is not to have downright Money, but the mercenary Part of her Mind is engaged with a Present of Plate and a little Ambition. She is made to understand that it is a Man of Quality who dies for her. The Examination of a young Girl for Business, and the crying down her Value for being a slight Thing, together with every other Circ.u.mstance in the Scene, are inimitably excellent, and have the true Spirit of Comedy; tho it were to be wished the Author had added a Circ.u.mstance which should make _Leucippe's_ Baseness more odious.

It must not be thought a Digression from my intended Speculation, to talk of Bawds in a Discourse upon Wenches; for a Woman of the Town is not thoroughly and properly such, without having gone through the Education of one of these Houses. But the compa.s.sionate Case of very many is, that they are taken into such Hands without any the least Suspicion, previous Temptation, or Admonition to what Place they are going. The last Week I went to an Inn in the City to enquire for some Provisions which were sent by a Waggon out of the Country; and as I waited in one of the Boxes till the Chamberlain had looked over his Parcel, I heard an old and a young Voice repeating the Questions and Responses of the Church- Catechism. I thought it no Breach of good Manners to peep at a Crevice, and look in at People so well employed; but who should I see there but the most artful Procuress in the Town, examining a most beautiful Country-Girl, who had come up in the same Waggon with my Things, _Whether she was well educated, could forbear playing the Wanton with Servants, and idle fellows, of which this Town_, says she, _is too full_: At the same time, _Whether she knew enough of Breeding, as that if a Squire or a Gentleman, or one that was her Betters, should give her a civil Salute, she should curtsy and be humble, nevertheless._ Her innocent _forsooths, yess, and't please yous, and she would do her Endeavour_, moved the good old Lady to take her out of the Hands of a Country b.u.mpkin her Brother, and hire her for her own Maid. I staid till I saw them all marched out to take Coach; the brother loaded with a great Cheese, he prevailed upon her to take for her Civilities to [his] Sister. This poor Creatures Fate is not far off that of hers whom I spoke of above, and it is not to be doubted, but after she has been long enough a Prey to l.u.s.t she will be delivered over to Famine; the Ironical Commendation of the Industry and Charity of these antiquated Ladies[, these] [3] Directors of Sin, after they can no longer commit it, makes up the Beauty of the inimitable Dedication to the _Plain-Dealer_, [4] and is a Masterpiece of Raillery on this Vice.

But to understand all the Purleues of this Game the better, and to ill.u.s.trate this Subject in future Discourses, I must venture my self, with my Friend WILL, into the Haunts of Beauty and Gallantry; from pampered Vice in the Habitations of the Wealthy, to distressed indigent Wickedness expelled the Harbours of the Brothel.

T.

[Footnote 1: [under in]]

[Footnote 2: fifty]

[Footnote 3: [. These]]

[Footnote 4: Wycherley's _Plain-Dealer_ having given offence to many ladies, was inscribed in a satirical _billet doux_ dedicatory To My Lady B .]