The So-called Human Race Part 55

THE BROODING DOVE.

Arthur Dove is raising chickens, He has put his paints away: Tell me, Chronos, where the d.i.c.kens Are the Cubes of yesterday!

Dove was real, Dove was earnest, But his efforts came to nix.

Bowing to decree the sternest, He has gone to raising chicks.

There's a strong demand for broilers, There's a call for chicken-pie; Dove declined to paint pot-boilers, So he put his brushes by.

Luck attend his every setting!

May his inspirations hatch!

And, whatever price he's getting, May he market every batch.

"Perpetual reduction of my audience is my hobby," observes Mr. Yeats, who aspires to be the Einstein of song. When only twelve disciples are able to understand him, he will be content.

A scientific expedition will hunt for the missing link in Asia, and may find it. But it will never be known whether the m. l. was capable of the popular songs which one sees in the windows of music stores, or whether it could have done something better.

The gadder contrib who uses the Gideon Bible to hold the shaving mirror at the right angle is properly rebuked by sundry readers. As one of them, M. B. C., says, he may make the Line, but he'll have a close shave if he makes heaven.

We imagine the Gideon Bible is read more than may be supposed. Evening in a small town must be desperately dull to many travelers. And there are better love stories in the Bible than can be bought on the trains.

Some of our gadding contribs have so good a writing style that we feel sure it must have been influenced by the Great Book.

A STERN PEDAGOGUE.

[From the Antelope, Montana, local.]

Miss Gladys Spank arrived here from Bozeman last Sat.u.r.day and is again teaching in the school near Williams.

Our esteemed contemporaries, F. P. A., Don Marquis, and Chris Morley, have taken the pains to reply to Miss Amy Lowell's recent remark that "colyums" are "ghastly and pitiful." Dear! dear! What has happened to their sense of humor?

SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!

"I wish to buy a book for a young lady," infoed the blond mustached one to a clerk at McClurg's. "She has both the 'Rubaiyat' and 'A Tale of Two Cities.' What do you advise?"

O. B. W.

"I never could get to Detour, either," communicates Jezebel, "but recently, on a train, I pa.s.sed through Derail, which seems to be a fairly thriving village, although some of the houses need paint."

=> _Old readers detour here--_

YES, YES.

Sir: Herbert F. Antunes is a piano tuner in Evanston.

L. L. B.

=> _Resume main pike._

YE STUFF.

Sir: "Yee Laundry" reads the sign over Yee Hing's washee at Deming, N. M. Wherein ye olde world is joined with ye olde English.

C. P. A.

"Henry Ford is poverty stricken intellectually, morally, and spiritually."--Comrade Spargo.

Hint for Briggs: "Wonder what Henry Ford thinks about?"

Powell's taxicab service in Polo, Ill., offers "a rattle with every ride," and for the life of us we can't imagine the kind of car employed.

Speaking of Detour and Derail, "I wonder," wonders A. T., "whether in your travels you ever got to Goslow."

DATED.

Sir: From the Blue Book: "Pleasant View. Saloon on left corner. Turn left. Then follow winding road."

A. C.

YOU KNOW THE TUNE.