The So-called Human Race Part 41

In his informing and stimulating collection of essays, "On Contemporary Literature," recently published, Mr. Stuart P. Sherman squanders an entire chapter on Theodore Dreiser. It seems to us that he might have covered the ground and saved most of his s.p.a.ce by quoting a single sentence from Anatole France, who, referring to Zola, wrote: "He has no taste, and I have come to believe that want of taste is that mysterious sin of which the Scripture speaks, the greatest of sins, the only one which will not be forgiven."

"What is art?" asked jesting Pilate. And before he could beat it for his chariot someone answered: "Art is a pitcher that you can't pour anything out of."

It is much easier to die than it is to take a vacation. A man who is summoned to his last long voyage may set his house in order in an hour: a few words, written or dictated, will dispose of his possessions, and his heirs will gladly attend to the details. This done, he may fold his hands on his chest and depart this vexatious life in peace.

It is quite another matter to prepare for a few weeks away from town.

There are bills to be paid; the iceman and the milkman and the laundryman must be choked off, and the daily paper restrained from littering the doorstep. There is hair to be cut, and teeth to be tinkered, and so on. In short, it takes days to stop the machinery of living for a fortnight, and days to start it going again. But, my dear, one must have a change.

JUST A REHEARSAL.

[From the Elgin News.]

Mr. and Mrs. Perce left immediately on a short honeymoon trip. The "real" honeymoon trip is soon to be made, into various parts of Virginia.

LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS?

[From the Decatur Review.]

Dr. O. E. Williams, who is conducting revival services in the First United Brethren church, spoke to a large audience on Friday night on "Lame in Both Feet." Mrs. Williams sang a solo in keeping with the sermon.

FLORAL POME.

(_Sign on Ashland Ave.: "Vlk the Florist."_)

For flowers fragrant, sweet as milk, Be sure to call on Florist Vlk.

Roses, lilies, for the folks Can be purchased down at Vlk's.

Of bouquets there is no lack At the flower shop of Vlk.

Orchids, pansies, daisies, phlox, All are sold at Florist Vlk's.

A wondrous place, a shop de luxe Is this here store of William Vlk's.

F. E. C. Jr.

The Boston aggregation, by the way (a witty New Yorker, a musician, informed us), is sometimes referred to as the Swiss Family Higginson and the Bocheton Symphony orchestra.

Touching on musical criticism, a Chicago writer who visited St. Louis to report a music festival had a few drinks before the opening concert. His telegraphed review began: "Music is frozen architecture."

Aside from his super-mathematics, Dr. Einstein is understandable. He prefers Bach to Wagner, Shakespeare to Goethe, and he would rather walk in the valleys than climb the mountains.

THE SECOND POST.

[Example of pep and tact.]

Dear Sir: We absolutely cannot understand why you do not buy stock in the ---- proposition or why we have not heard from you in reference to our letter. A man in your position should be able to invest some of his earnings into a proposition that should turn out a big success. It seems to us that the more rotten a proposition is the better the people will buy.

Now if you can explain this as to why the people bite on the many and poor schemes that are out to the public as there has been in the last six months, the information would be more than gladly received by us.

Let's get away from all this bunk stuff and think for ourselves and put your money in a real live proposition such as the ----.

After you invest your money in our business, do not fail to submit our proposition to some of your friends, so as to put this proposition over the top just as soon as possible.

May this letter act on you and try to improve your thought on investing your money with us, for we stand as true and honest as we can in order to make money for our clients.

Trusting that you will mail your check or money order to us at your very earliest convenience while the security is still selling at par, $10 per share, or a letter from you stating your reason for not doing so, we are, respectfully yours, etc.

In dedicating her autobiography to her husband, Mrs. Asquith quotes Epictetus: "Have you not received powers, to the limit of which you will bear all that befalls? Have you not received magnanimity? Have you not received courage? Have you not received endurance?" Mr. Christopher Morley thinks the gentleman needs them, but we are not so sure. It is said that when Margot mentioned to him the large sum she was to receive for the book, Mr. Asquith remarked, "I hope, my dear, that it isn't worth it."

As many know, Mr. Humphry Ward is a person of importance in his line. An American couple in London invited him to dine with them at their hotel, and concluded the invitation with the line, "If there is a Mrs. Ward, we should like to have her come, too."

In the Review of Reviews, Mr. Herbert Wade ent.i.tles his interview with Prof. Michelson, "Measuring the Suns of the Solar System." Wonder how he explained it to the Prof?

"She left a note saying she would do the next worst thing to suicide....

She went to Cleveland but decided to return."

Try South Bend.