The Shades Of Time And Memory Part 20

'Are you OK with this?' Raven asked Moon.

Moon now thought he had made too much of a fuss and felt stupid. He knew that Raven meant to take aruna with him, and part of him was embarra.s.sed by the whole thing, while another part of him was relieved. 'Don't le me be ouana,' he said. 'I'm afraid of what I'll be. I can feel it like a dark tornado. It's worse than an earthquake.'

'That's Uigenna blood for you,' Raven said. 'Keep to your own, Moon. Forget these Gelaming.'

'You are with one.'

'That's different, and you know it. Tyson is a fool.'

'He's only doing what Terez wants him to.'

'I don't know what he's doing,' Raven said dryly, 'but I think it's more do with himself than anyhar else.'

Moon didn't entirely agree with this, and for some reason felt he should spring to Tyson's defence, but said nothing. He knew only one thing: Raven was right about the Uigenna blood. He remembered the story of his parents and it filled him with dread. He was horrified to think he might have followed a similar path. Still, Raven had the power to heal and used it wisely. Once it was over, Moon felt more like himself again and deeply ashamed. 'How do we control it?' he asked Raven. 'That feeling. It's evil. It's so selfish.'

Raven held him close and said, 'You were led on, Moon.'

'No, I wasn't. It's in me. It scares me.'

'Try to forget him,' Raven said. 'I know it's easy for me to say, but I'll help you. When we get to Galhea, find some new friends, some nearer your own age.'

'I love him,' Moon said, and it felt like the biggest confession in the world.

Raven made a soft sound and kissed the top of Moon's head. 'You're young,' he said. 'You'll heal yourself of it. In years to come, when you look back, it won't seem real.'

At least Raven hadn't denied Moon's feelings or tried to tell him they were something else. 'You are with the one you loved years ago,' Moon said. 'That happened for you.'

'Sometimes the universe is kind,' Raven said. 'Sometimes, it forgives. Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be and then the universe will do all that it can to prevent anything happening. Tyson identifies with his hostling too much. He's reliving a history he never had and yet at the same time he's fighting it. You're well out of that, Moon. Take my advice: keep far away. The thing that keeps you apart is your guardian spirit.'

Moon buried his face in Raven's braids and inhaled their dark, b.u.t.tery, musky perfume. 'You're so different now,' he said.

For the rest of the journey, it was testament to Raven and Terez's generosity that they took their wayward companions in hand and spent less time with each other than they wanted to. Terez generally rode on ahead with Tyson, while Raven hung back with Moon and tried to keep him in good spirits. He taught Moon a lot of old songs, spiritual ones from before he was har, which his family used to sing. Every evening, he'd ask Moon if he wanted to be alone that night or needed company. Moon took advantage of the offer only when he was afraid the bad feelings would come back. He didn't want to be in the way of Raven's newfound happiness. He realised that the best thing to come out of the whole sorry situation was that he and Raven had become close. Even though they occasionally shared a bed, Raven felt like family, the nearest Moon had had to a hostling. Moon learned to love him, but not in the way he loved Tyson. He was looking forward to telling Snake about all this. He was looking forward to Snake seeing how much Raven had changed.

Tyson, on the other hand, failed to find any positive aspects in the situation. He felt torn apart, faintly ridiculous and full of bitter regret. Terez had said nothing aloud to condemn him, but Tyson was aware of an air of contempt in Terez's manner. Tyson had done what he could to earn Terez's approval, but in the event, he might as well have not bothered. Terez held him responsible for Moon's feelings, and clearly had very little regard for Tyson's own. Now, the possibility of he and Moon ever being together seemed shattered. It was all a horrible mess that made him wince with shame. Like the others, he hadn't considered Moon's state of mind. He'd thought only about himself and with more than a faint whiff of burning martyr. He wanted to forget the whole thing, but on those occasions when his gaze accidentally sc.r.a.ped across the s.p.a.ce that Moon occupied in the world, he was filled with painful longing. He knew now it wasn't about aruna. It was about taking the hand of a har he adored and saying, 'this is you and me against the world. Together, we are bigger than we are when we're apart. You are the sun that keeps my world alive.' Moon's youth no longer seemed an impediment. It was the magic of wonder, a rejuvenating balm, and for the sake of nothing, Tyson felt he had denied himself this miracle for all time. The last leaves falling from the trees were the last tears. Beyond them, lay winter, barrenness and cold.

When Moon first saw his father again, he was surprised to see how much better Snake looked. The Parsics had given him healing and although they couldn't mend his body completely, they had taken away a lot of the pain and stiffness, which meant that Snake could move more easily. He stood taller and now he never covered his seeing Eye. There was an emotional reunion with Raven, during which Snake shed tears of happiness. It seemed that everyhar, but for Moon, had seen their lives transform into a wondrous new territory. Hope, strength and harmony filled the air. Whatever problems the Tigron might have, this company of forceful souls must be able to help him vanquish any danger.

The Tigron's family remained in Galhea only for a few more days, before Pellaz summoned more sedim so that the five of them could travel to Immanion swiftly. The days were so filled with social gatherings and trips to view particular sites of interest that they pa.s.sed for Moon in a whirl. He barely caught sight of Tyson, who disappeared into the depths of Forever, or else into town, and did not re-emerge. Moon had to meet so many new hara that some of his emotional pain inevitably subsided. He made particular friends with Aleeme, the consort of Swift's son Azriel, and spent one unforgettable night with both of them in their bedroom, during which he learned so many astonishing things that hara could do together, it made him laugh aloud at odd moments for several days afterwards. He said nothing to Azriel or Aleeme about his feelings for Tyson, and even managed to stop himself asking any questions. He knew that Raven was right. He should forget about Tyson. It would never have worked.

If only we'd had just that one night, Moon thought. It would have been enough. Now, I will never know.

He thought the pain afterwards would have been worth it.

On their last night in Galhea, Cobweb threw a party in the style of which only he was capable. The house heaved with guests and there was so much food and drink Moon was sure that most of it would go to waste. Visitors came from near and far, and Moon was intrigued to meet his father's sister Mima, who arrived with Aleeme's parents from Roselane in Jaddayoth. The Cevarros sat together, a captivating and raucous tribe. But there was no Cal and there was no Tyson. There were holes in the gathering that no amount of laughter and wine could fill.

All evening, Moon felt his eyes drawn again and again to a particularly beautiful har, who appeared to be a friend of Cobweb's although was considerably younger. Moon even entertained the idea, fuelled by wine, that he might strike up conversation with this har very soon. He might as well attempt to make his last night in Galhea as memorable as he could. He was about to ask Aleeme who the har was, and had even leaned across the table to do so, when his heart almost froze. Tyson had come into the room. He looked heart-breakingly gorgeous, dressed in black leather trousers and a soft white shirt, his hair clean and sleek. All of Moon's feelings for him came back in an unwelcome and instantaneous flood. Tyson stood in the doorway for some minutes, while Moon debated with himself whether he should go over and speak. Was there a possibility they could remain friends? Aleeme and Azriel had already invited Moon back to Galhea at some time in the future. If he were to accept their invitation, then surely it would be more comfortable for everyhar if he and Tyson were on speaking terms. But before he made a decision, the har he'd been eyeing up all evening left the table and went to where Tyson stood at the threshold. Moon's chilled heart went even colder. He saw this har reach out and touch Tyson's face, and he did not pull away.

Moon grabbed Aleeme's arm. 'Who is that?' he demanded, pointing.

Aleeme appeared bemused and puzzled, then said, 'Oh, him? That's Ferany. He's Ty's chesnari, or was. Nohar really knows what's going on between them now.'

It was blindingly apparent to Moon what was going on.

'Why?' Aleeme asked.

Moon shrugged. He turned away, but not before he saw Tyson and Ferany embrace to share breath, not before he saw that Tyson was gazing right at him over Ferany's shoulder.

'Moon?' Aleeme said cautiously. 'What is it? You look very strange.'

'Nothing,' Moon said. 'Really, nothing.'

Aleeme stared at him hard for some moments, and in that time, Moon believed his new friend intuited a little of what was going on. 'You will come back, won't you?' Aleeme said.

Moon smiled with difficulty. 'Yes, I want to.'

'Will you talk to us then? About the things you've not told us and maybe should have done? Explain that look Tyson just gave you?'

Moon raised his eyebrows in what he hoped was a flirtatious manner, shrugged carelessly, and took another drink of wine. 'Maybe. I'll see.'

'Secrets,' said Aleeme. 'I love them.'

Chapter Nineteen.

Moon came to believe that Immanion existed in a different time stream to the rest of the world. After living there a week, it felt like months had pa.s.sed, and by the time the winter solstice festival arrived, he might as well have lived in the city all his life. Even so, it felt like there weren't enough hours in the day to accommodate all that he wanted, and was required, to do. Tutors came to his apartment in Phaonica for four hours every day, beginning after breakfast. These aloof hara instructed him in basic skills. In the afternoons, three days a week, Moon met for two hours with a high-ranking har who was in charge of his magical progression. In the City of Ghosts, nohar had been concerned with caste ascension: Moon didn't even know the names of the different levels. Now, the instruction he received astounded him. He'd had no idea Wraeththu could learn to become seers like Snake, and to manipulate energy and affect the world around them.

As well as these skills, Moon was trained in the art of controlling a sedu and the more taxing art of court etiquette. Pellaz might well have derived from a humble background himself, but now he held the reins of power in a tightly structured administration. He had been forced to learn quickly how to negotiate the twists and turns of Immanion's social complexities and clearly felt his brother's son, his sori, should be given a similar education.

It was obvious to Moon than not everyhar in Immanion approved of Pellaz bringing former relatives into the city; many frowned upon his desire to maintain contacts from his previous human existence. Perhaps, in seeing Pellaz dote upon his sori, many found themselves thinking wistfully of old family ties, and this bred resentment. Therefore, as Pellaz had done when Thiede had first brought him to the city, Moon had to be especially vigilant about how he behaved and what he said. Sometimes, alone at night, he became angry with himself for even caring about such things, but in the light of day it was almost impossible not to seek Pell's favour. A smile of approval from the Tigron of Immanion was like seeing a prayer answered before your eyes. Moon's old life in Megalithica became increasingly remote. He had been plucked from it, as Ember had once feared, and now he barely remembered how he had felt and what he'd believed.

Snake, meanwhile, did not fall completely beneath Immanion's spell. He was ill at ease in company and scornful of Pell's colleagues. He did not fit into the city's landscape particularly well and spent most of his time either alone or with his brothers. Moon was lucky if he saw his father once a day. He did make the effort to visit Snake's apartment in the palace whenever he could, even if only for an hour in the early evening. Most nights he was whisked out into the city night by hara who could not exactly be termed new friends, but who had an interest in him because of who he was. Moon was being trained for a position within the Hegemony Department of Buildings. Moon guessed that Pellaz didn't want him to leave the city long term, such as if he'd been more attracted to the military, and had therefore been delighted to learn of Moon's interest in architecture. Sometimes, the way Moon's life had been taken over and changed was disorientating and frightening to him. Sometimes, it was wonderful.

Snake seemed appreciative of Moon's opinions and kept his own to himself. Moon knew that Pellaz was making his father work hard, because Snake often looked very tired, and on those days all the healers in Immanion could do nothing to ease the aches in his withered side. Moon himself had been taught healing techniques as part of his magical training and, whenever he could, he practiced them on his father. As to what Snake and Pellaz actually discovered from their work together, Moon remained unenlightened. On some level, he didn't want to know, because the idea of the Tigron being in any kind of trouble seemed unthinkable. Immanion was so huge and secure, as if it had stood for a thousand years. Nothing bad could touch it.

Often Moon thought of Tyson, even though he tried hard not to. Raven had attempted to speak to him about Tyson some weeks after they'd arrived in Immanion, but Moon didn't feel capable of discussing the matter. He felt strangely ashamed, as if his feelings were an unsavory secret he didn't want to share. Once he sneaked into the rooms that had belonged to Cal. The drapes were drawn against the windows, almost like an act of mourning, and Moon imagined that Pellaz must have done that. The air smelled of nothing, and what few possessions Cal had had still remained in the drawers and on the shelves. Despite this, Moon could sense no presence of another har in the rooms. He knew that Pellaz's security staff must have inspected it thoroughly and had perhaps wiped all etheric evidence of Cal away. It was hard to believe this enigmatic har had ever existed. Harder still to believe the story he'd once been told, in a dark old room that smelled of mildew, when a clean white flame that was a har from another world had turned the air to gold.

Soon after Snake had settled into the rooms in Phaonica that were too large and orderly for him, Pellaz took his brother to Caeru's apartment. Here, while Caeru sat on the terrace staring at the sea and thinking involuntarily of autopsies, Snake moved slowly from room to room, pausing in each one to close his eyes and draw in a deep breath. Pellaz said nothing, waiting at the threshold every time. In the place where Caeru had been attacked, Snake hunkered down, leaning on the new cane that Pellaz had given to him, which was crowned with a serpent's head. He put one brown hand flat against the floor and remained there for some minutes. When he opened his eyes, his golden eye glowed like a cat surprised in candlelight.

'Anything?' Pellaz asked softly.

Snake drew himself slowly to his full height, which even given his disabilities was taller than Pellaz. He nodded, his lower lip stuck out a little. 'Yes,' he said, still nodding. 'It was here.'

Pellaz already knew that and stifled the pang of impatience that shot through his chest. 'Can you see...?'

'I do believe the job was not quite finished,' Snake p.r.o.nounced.

Pellaz came fully into the room. He sensed a presence behind him and glanced round to find that Caeru had finally forced himself to face whatever might be revealed.

Snake tapped the floor with his cane, in the very spot where Caeru had struggled with his a.s.sailant. 'Somehar came here to take the pearl, you don't need me to tell you that, but something happened they did not antic.i.p.ate. Not here, but when they left this realm. Some residue of the event trickled back through. There was something else a har? I'm unsure. They were hidden well, so well that their complete absence in this case reveals their presence.'

Pellaz did not question Snake's a.s.sessment. He remembered what Cobweb had told him about his brother. 'Is there anything we can do to find out more?'

'I will try,' Snake said. 'That is all that can be done.' He limped to the doorway and Caeru shrank away. 'Don't be afraid,' Snake said to him. 'Give me your hand.'

'I don't want to see...' Caeru began.

'Do it,' Pellaz commanded in the kind of smooth, even voice that cannot be disobeyed.

When Caeru tentatively extended one hand, Pellaz thought he could see the ghost of blood beneath his consort's fingernails, dark smears on the pale skin of his wrist. Caeru had closed his eyes, perhaps because he could see that too.

Snake took hold of Caeru's hand and drew in a slow deep breath. His brow furrowed. After some moments, he released his grip and shook his fingers as if to rid them of something noxious. 'You are extraordinary,' Snake said to Caeru. 'You created within you something that many hara and perhaps other creatures want desperately. The moment of its conception was a shout to the world.' He glanced at his brother. 'Like the moment when you were born into this life another time.'

'Who did it to me?' Caeru asked.

Pellaz already knew it was pointless to ask questions. Snake would reveal what he'd learned in his own time.

'Perhaps we should be asking 'what',' Snake said. 'Many things are unclear to me. Something took the pearl, and still has it, I'm sure, but I do not think it was the one who attacked you. They were responsible for removing it, yes, but they were interrupted in the otherlanes. The way they travel is different to using sedim. For this reason, the portal did not close up entirely immediately.' He shook his head and then glanced at Pellaz. 'I'm surprised your investigators didn't pick that up.'

'They are not as adept as you,' Pellaz said, 'and from this moment I would very much like you to start training some of them.'

'Cobweb would have found that,' Snake said. 'Instead, you went to all that trouble to hunt me down.'

'Cobweb has great respect for you,' Pellaz said. 'He believes your skills far outrank his own. As you know, it was he who suggested I look for you.'

Snake shrugged. 'I admit the pieces of the puzzle fascinate me. If something did attack you in the otherlanes, was it Rue's attacker or the other shadowy presence? I will need to go deeper into the inner world to try and find out more.'

'You look tired,' Caeru said. 'Don't do it yet. Rest a while.'

Snake smiled rather coldly. 'I know that, tiahaar. I had no intention of working further today. I might be crippled but I'm not an idiot.'

Caeru hadn't meant anything insulting in what he'd said, and Pellaz could see that his consort was stung by Snake's words. Caeru was easily hurt nowadays, even more so than before; his skin was as thin as a b.u.t.terfly's wing. 'And your condition is no excuse for being rude,' Pell said lightly to Snake. 'Rue meant no wrong, you know that.'

'You haven't changed,' Snake remarked and left the room.

'He has,' Caeru said to Snake's retreating back, 'more so than you.'

Following this incident, Pellaz visited Sheeva in the infirmary to ask if anything could be done for Snake's condition. 'He feels it badly here in Immanion,' Pellaz said. 'He thinks we're all perfect.'

'I could examine him,' Sheeva said carefully.

Pellaz intuited that Snake would never agree to such a thing, mainly because he'd know what Pell had gathered from Sheeva's tone: nothing could be done.

Snake didn't like living in Immanion: he never would. The only time Pellaz had seen him relaxed was in Galhea. For this reason, he suggested that the Aralisians should spend the winter solstice at the House of Parasiel. 'You could perhaps work with Cobweb,' Pellaz said to Snake, 'seeing as you think he was capable of seeing what you did. Together, you should make a formidable team.'

'I never work with others,' Snake said, 'but I would like to return to Megalithica. I miss the air.'

In Galhea, during the years of Varrish reign, the feast of the winter solstice had often been known simply as Festival, for the majority of Varrs had not been greatly spiritually inclined. But those of them who tended the land, and who were left alive after Ponclast was routed, were more in tune with the tides of the seasons, and the ancient rites of reverence were revived. For all, Festival became Natalia, celebrating the return of the light. On the night of the longest day, the dehar Solarisel gives birth to the pearl of Elisin, the child of light, Lord of the Sun. Solarisel's sleek white hounds streak across the sky baying out the news to the world, and in the morning harlings look for their slender footprints in the snow.

Even in the days of Terzian, Cobweb had always made sure that the winter festival was celebrated in full, following the ways of his own tribe, the Sulh. This tradition had expanded over the years. Now, on Natalia eve, virtually the whole of Galhea congregated at Forever. High-ranking hara gathered in the house, while others, including the human residents of the town, celebrated around a huge bonfire in the gardens, where the snow fell softly in pillowy flakes. The celebrants carried torches, their bodies wrapped up in thick coats. They sang new songs of the season that already sounded hundreds of years old. The air was full of the scent of cooking meat from the huge barbecue pits and the aroma of mulled sheh: apple liquor enlivened with the juice of oranges from the south, a sun fruit, symbolizing the return of the light.

Moon had imagined with dread and excitement that he'd see Tyson again, and was therefore both disappointed and relieved to hear he'd elected to accompany Ferany on a visit to some friends of Ferany's parents further west. Moon knew how important it was to Cobweb to have his family around him at festival times, so guessed Cobweb had also thought it would be for the best if Tyson was away during Moon's visit. Aleeme must have said something about his suspicions concerning Moon and Tyson. Both Azriel and Aleeme were keen to hear what further disclosures Moon might make on the subject, but he played it down. He felt embarra.s.sed about it now.

It was clear to Moon that Snake felt far more at home in Galhea than he did in Immanion. He appeared less drawn and tense. At breakfast on the festival day, when everyhar rose late because of the previous night's party, Cobweb remarked on Snake's appearance in front of everyhar. 'See how good the air here is for you? You are twice the har you were when you arrived two days ago.'

Snake smiled, in a way Moon had rarely seen. 'Forever has cast its spell upon me. I do feel better. The heat in Almagabra is too much to bear. I'm no longer used to a hot climate.'

Cobweb was silent for a moment, then addressed Pellaz. 'Here's a suggestion. Why doesn't Snake stay here for a while?' He glanced at Snake. 'What do you think? You could continue your investigations and I could help you.'

'Well...' Pellaz began, clearly the introduction to a refusal.

'An excellent idea,' said Snake. 'I would appreciate your help.'

'You told me you always worked alone,' Pellaz said.

Snake shrugged. 'Usually...' He turned to Cobweb. 'If you could find me a little house somewhere... I'm not a great one for company.'

Moon caught Aleeme's eye and grinned. He had never seen Snake so animated.

'Raven will not want to leave Immanion because of Terez,' Pellaz said. 'And I certainly can't do without Terez.'

'Raven has found a life for himself,' Snake said. 'I'm glad for him. I no longer need him to look after me. I'm sure that Cobweb will find hara who can tend to my modest needs.'

'There is a house you could have,' Cobweb said. 'And it's in the grounds. It's an old lodge. We could renovate it. It'd be perfect.'

'What about Moon?' Pellaz asked.

'I think Snake should stay here too,' Moon said, thinking of how it would prevent Pellaz pushing his father too hard. 'I can visit him here regularly, can't I?'

Pellaz appeared sour. 'It seems to have been decided.'

'Good,' said Cobweb. 'I'll take you over to the lodge later, Snake, so you can look round it.'

Three days later, Moon returned to Immanion alone with the Tigron, who grudgingly accepted his brother's desires. Before they left, Aleeme drew Moon to one side in the stable yard, where the snow had been swept away. 'Do you have a message?' he asked, stamping in the cold air to try and warm his feet.

Moon pretended ignorance. 'What?'

'For Tyson. I wasn't supposed to tell you, because Cobweb says we shouldn't encourage you, but it took weeks for Ferany to persuade Tyson to go with him out west. Cobweb kept asking why he wouldn't agree to it and Tyson said it was because he didn't want to leave the family at Natalia. Cobweb didn't accept that, because he knows Tyson gets bored at big family functions. We all think he wanted to see you. I don't know what the fuss is about. Why can't you see each other? So, any message?'

'Just say... h.e.l.lo,' Moon said, awkwardly.

Aleeme raised his eyebrows. 'Can't you do better than that? We're starved of gossip here.'

'He's with Ferany,' Moon blurted. 'What else can I say?'