The Sententia: Second Thoughts Part 25

"I'll be the temporarily homeless girl on your doorstep."

"I'll leave out the breadcrumbs."

I waved as she pulled away, and then gave my last hugs to my family. They'd follow me in our caravan to the city. Aunt Tessa had offered to ride with me, as had Amy, but I declined. I'd made a choice to do this alone and I was starting it now. We'd managed to load all of my things into the rental cars, so all I had to do was retrieve my car and lead the way.

But there was one more thing.

WHEN I GOT to the parking area behind Penrose Books, I saw I wasn't the only one with the same idea. Waiting for me on my driver's seat was a book. If the book itself hadn't given it away, the fact that my car had been and was still locked told me who left it.

Modern Poetry, circa the early 1900s. It was pristine and beautiful, looking barely more worn than the first time I'd picked it up-the day I met Cater Penrose. I'd wondered what happened to it; by the time I went back for it, it was already gone. I guess I knew now where it went.

I looked up to the window on the third floor but all I could see was the reflection of the trees behind me. I'd probably never know if he was watching, though I thought probably not. I didn't deserve to hope he would and I didn't raise my hand in goodbye though I desperately wanted to. Instead, I opened his car door, which was never locked, and left the note I'd thought about all night and written in the few moments alone while my roommate was in the shower.

I'd composed a million different versions in my head, crossed it all out and tried to get it right again and again. Finally I decided on a few simple words. He told me himself if I wrote it down he'd never forget. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but what I wanted him to remember was this: I will love you always.

-L.

I LOVED CARTER. Sometimes painfully, but in the end, not enough. I didn't love him enough to tell him the truth, to ruin or save his life with it, I didn't know which. I didn't, ultimately, love him more than I loved myself.

Could I live without him? I was going to find out. I got in my car and drove into my future, alone.

No, not alone, I reminded myself.

Free.

Acknowledgments.

THANK YOU:.

To Tracy, Chris, and the entire Luminis team, for once again making this possible, and also, for making it fun.

To Geri, Susie, Cindy, Rebecca, and Kristine, for their indispensable help in making this story something you actually want to read.

To my agent, April Eberhardt, for the constant support.

To Brit G.o.dish, for the kick-a.s.s cover.

To my daughter, though she can't yet read this, for being so frequently patient even when I'm not.

To my family and friends, whose love and enthusiasm sustain me.

To my husband, for everything, always.

And, of course, to you.

About the Author.

Cara Bertrand is a former middle school literacy teacher who now lives in the woods outside Boston with: one awesome husband, two large dogs, one small daughter, and lots of words. She is the author of SECOND THOUGHTS and LOST IN THOUGHT, the first novel in the Sententia and one of three finalists for the Amazon/Penguin Breakthrough Novel Award in the Young Adult category.

Visit her online at www.carabertrand.com or on Twitter @carabertrand.

About the Author.

Cara Bertrand is a former middle school literacy teacher who now lives in the woods outside Boston with: one awesome husband, two large dogs, one small daughter, and lots of words. Her first novel, LOST IN THOUGHT, was a finalist for the Amazon/Penguin Breakthrough Novel Award.

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