The School for Scandal Part 16

SIR OLIVER. [Aside.] The rogue's my nephew after all!--[Aloud.]

But, sir, I have somehow taken a fancy to that picture.

CHARLES. I'm sorry for't, for you certainly will not have it.

Oons, haven't you got enough of them?

SIR OLIVER. [Aside.] I forgive him everything!--[Aloud.] But, Sir, when I take a whim in my head, I don't value money. I'll give you as much for that as for all the rest.

CHARLES. Don't tease me, master broker; I tell you I'll not part with it, and there's an end of it.

SIR OLIVER. [Aside.] How like his father the dog is.-- [Aloud.]

Well, well, I have done.-- [Aside.] I did not perceive it before, but I think I never saw such a striking resemblance.-- [Aloud.]

Here is a draught for your sum.

CHARLES. Why, 'tis for eight hundred pounds!

SIR OLIVER. You will not let Sir Oliver go?

CHARLES. Zounds! no! I tell you, once more.

SIR OLIVER. Then never mind the difference, we'll balance that another time. But give me your hand on the bargain; you are an honest fellow, Charles--I beg pardon, sir, for being so free.-- Come, Moses.

CHARLES. Egad, this is a whimsical old fellow!--But hark'ee, Premium, you'll prepare lodgings for these gentlemen.

SIR OLIVER. Yes, yes, I'll send for them in a day or two.

CHARLES. But, hold; do now send a genteel conveyance for them, for, I a.s.sure you, they were most of them used to ride in their own carriages.

SIR OLIVER. I will, I will--for all but Oliver.

CHARLES. Ay, all but the little nabob.

SIR OLIVER. You're fixed on that?

CHARLES. Peremptorily.

SIR OLIVER. [Aside.] A dear extravagant rogue!--[Aloud.] Good day!

Come, Moses.--[Aside.] Let me hear now who dares call him profligate!

[Exit with MOSES.]

CARELESS. Why, this is the oddest genius of the sort I ever met with!

CHARLES. Egad, he's the prince of brokers, I think. I wonder how the devil Moses got acquainted with so honest a fellow.--Ha! here's Rowley.--Do, Careless, say I'll join the company in a few moments.

CARELESS. I will--but don't let that old blockhead persuade you to squander any of that money on old musty debts, or any such nonsense; for tradesmen, Charles, are the most exorbitant fellows.

CHARLES. Very true, and paying them is only encouraging them.

CARELESS. Nothing else.

CHARLES. Ay, ay, never fear.-- [Exit CARELESS.]

So! this was an odd old fellow, indeed. Let me see, two-thirds of these five hundred and thirty odd pounds are mine by right.

Fore Heaven! I find one's ancestors are more valuable relations than I took them for!--Ladies and gentlemen, your most obedient and very grateful servant.

[Bows ceremoniously to the pictures.]

Enter ROWLEY

Ha! old Rowley! egad, you are just come in time to take leave of your old acquaintance.

ROWLEY. Yes, I heard they were a-going. But I wonder you can have such spirits under so many distresses.

CHARLES. Why, there's the point! my distresses are so many, that I can't affort to part with my spirits; but I shall be rich and splenetic, all in good time. However, I suppose you are surprised that I am not more sorrowful at parting with so many near relations; to be sure, 'tis very affecting; but you see they never move a muscle, so why should I?

ROWLEY. There's no making you serious a moment.

CHARLES. Yes, faith, I am so now. Here, my honest Rowley, here, get me this changed directly, and take a hundred pounds of it immediately to old Stanley.

ROWLEY. A hundred pounds! Consider only----

CHARLES. Gad's life, don't talk about it! poor Stanley's wants are pressing, and, if you don't make haste, we shall have some one call that has a better right to the money.

ROWLEY. Ah! there's the point! I never will cease dunning you with the old proverb----

CHARLES. BE JUST BEFORE YOU'RE GENEROUS.--Why, so I would if I could; but Justice is an old hobbling beldame, and I can't get her to keep pace with Generosity, for the soul of me.

ROWLEY. Yet, Charles, believe me, one hour's reflection----

CHARLES. Ay, ay, it's very true; but, hark'ee, Rowley, while I have, by Heaven I'll give; so, d.a.m.n your economy! and now for hazard.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II.--The Parlour

Enter SIR OLIVER and MOSES

MOSES. Well sir, I think as Sir Peter said you have seen Mr. Charles in high Glory--'tis great Pity He's so extravagant.

SIR OLIVER. True--but he would not sell my Picture--

MOSES. And loves wine and women so much--

SIR OLIVER. But He wouldn't sell my Picture.

MOSES. And game so deep--

SIR OLIVER. But He wouldn't sell my Picture. O--here's Rowley!

Enter ROWLEY

ROWLEY. So--Sir Oliver--I find you have made a Purchase----