The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Part 8

Is this the dreadful cut-throat, we must pay our carriage to? And besides him, is the beautiful Tryphna that other emblem of terrour, who for her pleasure only goes with Lycas."

"These are the very two," reply'd Gito, "we strove to avoid": and, in a low voice, made Eumolpus, that trembled at the story, at once understand the occasions of their malice to us, and our present danger.

Eumolpus was so distracted in his thoughts, he cou'd not advise, but bid each of us give him his opinion; "And presume," says he, "we had just enter'd the Cyclops den, where Jove's thunderbolts are made. We must seek a means of delivery, except we design to free us from all danger, by sinking the vessel."

"No, no," began Gito, "rather offer the pilot a reward, to direct the vessel to some port: and affirm the sea so disagrees with your friend, that if he is not so kind, you fear he'll dye: you may colour the pretence with tears, and appear much concern'd, that, mov'd with compa.s.sion, the pilot may befriend you."

Eumolpus reply'd, that could not be effected, for not only the difficulty of guiding so great a ship to a port, but a suspicion he wou'd necessarily have, that his friend cou'd not be so suddenly very ill, conspir'd against it: Then next perhaps, Lycas wou'd have a curiosity to visit his sick pa.s.senger: "Can you propose to escape by a means that will discover ye to him ye'd avoid? But presuming the ship cou'd be stopt in her rapid course, and that Lycas shou'd not visit his sick on board: How can we get out, but all must see us? With our heads m.u.f.fled, or bare? If cover'd, we move every one to lend a hand to sick persons; if bare, we discover our selves."

"A desperate disease," said I, "must have a desperate cure; I know no better expedient of our delivery, than to slide into the long boat, and cutting the cord, leave the rest to Fortune: Nor do I desire Eumolpus to share the danger: For what wou'd it signifie to involve an innocent person in other mens deserv'd misfortunes? We shall think our selves happy, if Fortune be kind."

"'Twas not ill advised," said Eumolpus, "if it cou'd be done; for do you think to stir in the ship un.o.bserved, when the distant motion of the stars themselves can't escape the pilot's diligence? You must pa.s.s the only guarded part of the ship near which place the rope that holds the boat is tyed: Besides, Encolpius, I wonder you did not remember that one seaman was upon constant duty night and day in the boat it self; nor will be mov'd from his post, without you cut his throat, or fling him overboard; which consider whether you can dare attempt; for my part, to go with you I would refuse no danger that could give me the least hopes of getting off; but to put so low a value on life, to throw it away as a useless thing, I believe even your selves are unwilling: Hear whether you like my proposal; I'll put ye into two mantles I have here, and making holes to breathe and eat through, will place you amongst my other goods for baggage, next morning I allarm the whole ship, crying out, my servants, fearing a greater punishment, in the night jump into the sea; that when the ship made to land, I might carry you off for baggage."

"Very well," said I, "but do you design to tye us as stocks, within which nature does not labour to be freed; or as those that use to sneeze and snore? Or, because I once succeeded in a like deceit? But suppose we cou'd hold out a day so ty'd up, what shall we do if we're put to't longer? Will the thoughts of a quiet life without cares, or of our adverse fortune entertain us most? our very cloaths long bound up will rot upon our backs: Can we, d'ye think, that are young, and not inur'd to labour, endure to be clad like statues, and wear our cords as insensibly? Since we are yet to seek a way of escape, for no proposal has been made without an objection; see what I have thought on: The studious Eumolpus, I presume, never goes unfurnisht with ink; is there a better expedient, than washing our hands, face, and hair, with that, to appear like aethiopian slaves? when without wringing our limbs, we can't but be merry, to act a cheat, that so nearly imposes on our enemies?"

"And why would you not have us circ.u.mcis'd too," interrupted Gito, "that we may appear like Jews; and have our ears bor'd, to persuade them we came from Arabia? and why did not you advise our faces to be chalk'd as well as ink'd, that we might pa.s.s for Frenchmen, as if our colour would make such a mighty alteration? Has a foreigner but one mark of distinction? Can you think anybody so ignorant to mistake you for one, by that sign only? Grant our dawb'd faces wou'd keep their colour: Suppose it wou'd not wash off, nor our cloaths stick to the ink, how can we imitate their black swollen lips? the short curl of their hair? the seams on their foreheads? their circular way of treading? their splay feet? or the mode of their beards? an artificial colour rather stains than alters the body; but, if you'll be rul'd by a madman, let's cover our heads, and jump into the sea?"

"Nor Heaven nor man," cry'd Eumolpus, "cou'd suffer ye make so ill an end; rather pursue this advice: My slave, as you may imagine by his rasor, is a piece of a barber; let him shave not only your heads, but, as a mark of greater punishment, your eye-brows too, and Ill finish your disguise with an inscription on your foreheads, that you may appear as slaves branded for some extraordinary villany: Thus the same letters will at once divert their suspicion, and conceal your countenance under the mask of punishment."

We lik'd the advice, and hasten'd the execution, when stealing to the side of the vessel, we committed our heads and eye-brows to the barber: Eumolpus in the meantime fill'd our foreheads with great letters, and very liberally dispenc'd the known marks of fugitives through the other parts of our faces; one of the pa.s.sengers, easing his o're-charg'd stomach o're the side of the ship, by the moon perceiving the reflection of a barber busie at so unseasonable a time, and, cursing the omen that he thought presag'd a shipwreck, ran to his hammock, upon which we dissembled the same, but indeed had an equal though different concern; and the noise over, we spent the rest of the night without resting much.

The next day Eumolpus, when he found Tryphna was stirring, went to visit Lycas; and after he had talk'd with him about the happy voyage he hop'd from the clearness of the heavens, Lycas, turning to Tryphna, "Methoughts," said he, "about midnight the vision of Priapus appear'd to me, and told me, he had lately brought into my ship Encolpius that I sought for": Tryphna was startl'd, "And you'd swear we slept together," reply'd she, "for methoughts the image of Neptune having struck his trident thrice against the Baj, told me that in Lycas' ship I shou'd meet my Gito."

"Hence, proceeds," said Eumolpus, interrupting 'em, "that veneration I pay the divine Epicurus, who so wittily has discovered such illusions.

"When in a dream presented to our view, Those airy forms appear so like the true; Nor heaven nor h.e.l.l the fancy'd visions sends, But every breast its own delusion lends: For when soft sleep the body wraps in ease, And from th' unactive ma.s.s our fancy frees, Whatever 'tis in which we take delight, And think of most by day, we dream at night.

Thus he, the now sackt city justly fear'd, Who all around had death and ruin shar'd.

From fancy'd darts believes a darkned sky, And troops retreating in confusion fly: There the sad funeral pomp of kings; here Conscious plains, half drown'd in blood, appear He that by day has nois'd it at the bar, Of knaves and fools now sees the great resort, And to meet justice vainly fears in court.

Misers amidst their heaps are raising new, And think they oft their old hid treasure view.

And huntsmen the imagin'd chace pursue.

The merchant dreams of wrecks, the ship wou'd save, Or now, by sinking it, himself preserve.

The mistress to her distant lover writes; And, as awake, with flames and darts indites: The good wife dreaming of her stallion's charms, Oft seeks the pleasure in her cuckold's arms.

Dogs on full cry, in sleep, the hare pursue, And hapless wretches their old griefs renew."

But Lycas, when he had thank'd his stars for their care of him, "That we may not seem," said he, "to condemn the divine powers, what hinders but we search the vessel?"

Upon which one aesius, the pa.s.senger that had discover'd us by our reflection in the water, cry'd out, "these are the men that were shav'd by moonshine to night. Heaven avert the omen! I thought the ceremony of cutting the nails and hair, was never perform'd but as a solemn sacrifice to appease a storm."

"Is 't so," says Lycas, in a great heat, "did any in the ship offer to shave themselves, and at midnight too? Bring 'em quickly hither, that I may know who they are that deserve to die a sacrifice for our safety."

"'Twas I," quoth Eumolpus, "commanded it, not wishing ill to the ship, but ease to my self; for they are my slaves, and having long staring hairs, I order'd the uncomely sight to be taken away; not only that I might not seem to make a prison of the ship; but that the mark of their villany might more plainly appear; and to let you know how richly they deserve the punishment; among other rogueries, they rob'd me of a considerable sum of money, and spent it with all the luxury of rich debauches, on a trull that was at both their services, whom I catcht them with last night. In short, they yet smell of the wine they profusely gave themselves with my money."

Lycas, that the offenders might atone for their crime, order'd each of them forty stripes; we were immediately brought to the place of execution; where the enrag'd seamen set upon us with ropes-ends, and try'd to offer our blood a sacrifice for their safety. I bore three stripes very heroically. Gito, who had not so much pa.s.sive valour at the first blow, set up such an out-cry that the known sound of his voice reach'd Tryphna's ear; who in great disorder attended with her maids, that were all like her self surpriz'd at the voice, run to the sufferer.

Gito's admirable beauty had soften'd their rage, and seem'd without speaking to intreat their favour; when the maids unanimously cry'd out, "'tis Gito, 'tis Gito; hold your barbarous hands, help madam, 'tis Gito!"

Tryphna to their cry inclin'd her ears, that already had antic.i.p.ated her belief, and with eager haste flew to the boy.

Upon which Lycas that knew me very well, as much satisfied as he had heard my voice, ran to me, and taking my other parts on content, sed contiguo ad inguina mea luminibus deflexis movit officiosam manum "your servant Encolpius," says he, "'twill be no wonder how Euryclea that nurs'd Ulysses, at his return after twenty years absence, shou'd know him by a scar on his forehead, when 'tis consider'd, the most discreet Lycas, not beholden to the marks of any seen part of the body, so judiciously discover'd me by the most hid:" Tryphna, having cheated herself into a belief that those marks of slavery we wore on our foreheads were real, wept; and began in a low voice, to inquire what prison cou'd stop us in our rambles; or whose cruel hands cou'd finish such a punishment without reluctancy. "I confess," added she, "they deserve some punishment with whom their masters are so justly angry."

Lycas was in great heat at Tryphna's tenderness. "And thou foolish woman," said he, "can you believe, those marks were cut before the ink was laid? We should be too happy were those stains not to be rub'd off, and had justly been, as they design'd us, the subject of their laughter, if we had suffer'd our selves to be so grossly impos'd on in a sham inscription."

Tryphna, who was not yet unmindful of our former amours, wou'd have pity'd us. When Lycas, still resenting the abuse he received in his vitiated wife, and the affronts at the porch of Hercules' temple, with greater rage cry'd out, "I thought you had been convinc'd, Tryphna, that Heaven has the care of humane affairs, when it not only brought our enemies into our power, which they strove to avoid, but reveal'd it in a vision to us both; see what you'l get by pardoning them, whom Heaven it self has brought to punishment, for my part, I am not naturally so cruel, but am afraid the judgment I shou'd prevent from justly falling upon others, may light on my own head."

This superst.i.tious harangue, turn'd Tryphna from hindring our punishment to hasten its execution. When she began afresh as highly to resent the former affronts that was offer'd her, as Lycas did the repute of his modesty that he had lost in the peoples esteem.

When Lycas found Tryphna was with himself eagerly inclin'd to revenge, he order'd to increase our punishments, which when Eumolpus perceiv'd, he endeavour'd to mitigate after this manner.

"I pity the wretches," said he, "that lie at your mercy. Lycas, they implore your compa.s.sion, and choosing me as a man not altogether unknown to 'em to perform the office, desire to be reconcil'd to them they once held most dear. Can you believe, 'twas by accident they fell into your hands, when all pa.s.sengers make it their chief business to enquire to whose care they are to trust themselves? When you are satisfied of their intentions, can you be so barbarous to continue your revenge, but suffer free-born men to go uninjur'd where they have design'd. Even barbarous and implacable masters allay their cruelty when their slaves repent; and all give quarter to the enemy that surrenders himself. What can you, or will you desire more? You have at your feet repenting supplicants; they're gentlemen, and men of worth; and what's more prevailing than both, were once caress'd as your dearest friends. Had they rob'd you of your money, or betray'd your trust, by Hercules the punishment they've inflicted on themselves might have satisfied your rage; don't you see the marks of slaves on their faces; who, though free, to attone their injuries to you, proscrib'd themselves."

"To avoid confusion," interrupted Lycas, "give me a reason for all particulars as I shall ask you; and first, if they came with design to surrender themselves, why did they cut off their hair? for all disguises are a.s.sum'd rather to deceive than satisfie the injur'd.

"Next, if they expected to ingratiate them selves by their emba.s.sadour, why have you endeavoured in everything, to conceal them you were to speak for? whence it plainly appears, 'twas by accident the offenders were brought to punishment, and that you have us'd this artifice to divert our suspicion. Sure you thought to raise our envy, by ringing in our ears, that they were gentlemen, and men of worth; but have a care their cause don't suffer by your impudence; what shou'd the injur'd do when the guilty come to 'em to be punisht? And if they were my friends, they deserve to be more severely treated; for he that wrongs a stranger is call'd a rogue, but he that serves a friend so, is little less than a parricide."

"I am sencible," said Eumolpus, answering this dreadful harangue, "that nothing cou'd happen to these unhappy young men more unfortunate than the cutting their hair off at midnight, which is the only argument that may perswade you to mistake their voluntary coming here, for accidental; but I shall as candidly endeavour to undeceive you, as it was innocently acted: before they imbarkt they had designs to ease their heads of that, as troublesome as useless weight, but the unexpected wind that hasten'd us on board, made 'em defer it; nor did they suspect it to be of any moment where 'twas done, being equally ignorant of the ill omen, and customs of mariners."

"What advantage," reply'd Lycas, "cou'd they propose to themselves by the loss of their hair? unless they thought baldness might sooner raise our compa.s.sion: Or can you believe I wou'd be satisfy'd in your relation? when addressing himself to me, What poyson, said he, thou villain, has eat your hair off? To what G.o.d have your sacrilegious hands offer'd it?"

The fear of punishment struck me speechless; nor cou'd I find any thing to urge in my defence against so plain an accusation. Then the confusion I was in, my disfigur'd face, with the equal baldness of my head and eye-brows, gave a ridiculous air to everything I said or did; but when they wip'd us with a wet spunge, the letters melting into one, spread o'er our faces such a sooty cloud that turn'd Lycas's rage to a perfect loathing. Eumolpus cou'd not endure to see free-born men against all law and justice so abus'd, and returning their threats with blows, not only was our advocate but champion too. He was seconded by his man, and two or three sick pa.s.sengers appear'd our friends, that serv'd rather to encourage us, than encrease our force.

Upon which I was so far from begging pardon, that without any respect I held my fists at Tryphna, and plainly told her she shou'd feel me, if her lecherous ladiship, who only in the ship deserv'd to be punisht, was not content to decline her pretentions to Gito.

The angry Lycas was all rage at my impudence; and very impatient of revenge when he found, without any concern for my own cause, I stood up for another's.

Nor was Tryphna less disturb'd at my contempt of her; at what time every one in the vessel choose his side and put himself in a posture of defence.

On our side Eumolpus's slave distributed the instruments of his trade, and reserv'd a razor to defend his own person; on the other, Tryphna and her attendants advanc'd, armed with nothing but their nails and tongues; which last supply'd the want of drums in their army; when the pilot, crying out, threaten'd he wou'd leave the ship to the mercy of the waves if they continued the bustle rais'd about the l.u.s.t of two or three vagabonds.

This did not in the least r.e.t.a.r.d the fight; they pressing for revenge, we for our lives: in short, many fell half dead on both sides; others withdrew, as from greater armies, to be drest of their wounds; yet this damps not the rage of either side.

Then the bold Gito, drawing out that part of him Tryphna most admired, clapt a b.l.o.o.d.y razor to't, and threaten'd to cut away the cause of all our misfortunes, but Tryphna did not faintly send to prevent so cruel an act: I often offer'd at my throat too, but with as little design to kill my self as Gito to do what he threaten'd: he the more boldly handl'd his because he knew it to be the same blunt razor he had us'd before; which made Tryphna very apprehensive of his tragic intentions.

Upon this, both sides drew up their ranks, when the pilot perceiving how commical a war it was, with much ado was perswaded to let Tryphna dispatch an herald to capitulate: Articles immediately according to the custom of countries being mutually agreed off on both sides; Tryphna s.n.a.t.c.ht an olive-branch, the ensign of peace, that stuck to the image of prosperity pictur'd in the ship, and holding it in the midst of us, thus addrest her self.

"What fury did these sudden broils engage, How have their guiltless hands deserv'd your rage?

No Paris a stol'n dame to Troy conveys, No witch Media here her brother slays: But slighted love must needs resenting be: And midst the waves who is the raging he Now rob'd of arms that can attempt my fate?

By whom is simple death so little thought?

Let not your murderous rage out storm the seas, And dangers of the angry waves increase."

When in a great heat Tryphna had thus said, both armies stood still a while, and reviving the treaty of peace, put a stop to the war. Our captain Eumolpus prudently us'd the occasion of her repentance, and having first severely chastiz'd Lycas, sign'd the articles, which were as follow.

"Tryphna, you do from the bottom of your heart, as you are in perfect mind, promise never to complain of any injury you have receiv'd from Gito; nor mention, upbraid him with, or study to revenge directly or indirectly any action of his before this day; and to prevent your forcing him to an unwilling compliance, be it further agreed, that you never kiss, coll, or bring him to a closer hug, without the forfeiture of 100 denarii: And for better security, that you always pay your mony, before you have your ware.

"Item, you Lycas, from the bottom of your heart, as you are in perfect mind; do promise never to reproach, or insultingly treat Encolpius, either in words, or gestures: But, on the forfeiture of 200 denarii for each time you abuse him, behind his back."

Conditions thus agreed on, we laid down our arms: And, least any grudge might still remain, wipe off the memory of all things past, in repeated kisses.

All quarrels expir'd in universal shouts, and a sumptuous banquet that followed, spread equal mirth through the whole company: The vessel rung with songs, the ensigns of their joy: and the occasion of a sudden calm, gave other diversions: Here a little artist bob'd for fish, that rising, seem'd with haste to meet their ruin: There another draws the unwilling prey, that he had betray'd on the hook, with an inviting bait: When looking up, we saw sea-birds sitting on the sail-yard, about which, one skill'd in that art having plac'd lime-twigs, made 'em his booty. Their downy feathers, the air whirl'd about: The other, the sea vainly tost too and fro.