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He looked at her for a moment, struggling with his emotion. At last he said quietly, watching her with his strange eyes, that had the glowing quality of the feline:
"Dodo, shall I come?"
She drew back as if wounded; then she closed the door, afraid.
"No!"
"You see? Good-by!"
"Don't hate me!" she said, suddenly leaning out of the window and seizing his arm convulsively. "You mustn't! I'm only a wild, crazy little thing."
"You're all that!" he said gravely. "Look here! After to-night I've a right to say this. Look out! You're going to get into trouble; mind what I say--the game's dangerous!"
He raised his hat, signaled the driver and turned to walk in the direction of the subway. She was immensely sorry to lose him. She wanted to call after him again not to hate her. For she had a feeling now that all men, all whom she had gathered about her, hated her or would come to hate her; that it was not love she inspired, but only an antagonism. She was not sure even of Ma.s.singale. How could he love her, when she brought nothing but unrest into his life--when she did nothing but make him miserable and unhappy from morning to night? Then, she felt it was the approach of the fatal tenth of March that was disorganizing her, horribly hypnotizing her, shattering all her nerves, and she said to herself that it could not go on; she must find peace somewhere; she would not wait. To-morrow there would be a decision between Ma.s.singale and herself. Either that, or she would go to Blainey, where she belonged, and enter the world of work. To-morrow, without further delay she would decide her life, before Lindaberry could return, or that haunting image of her former life.
And when, at length, she had pa.s.sed from the taxicab up the stoop and into the dim-lit hall, Josh Nebbins was waiting for her in the gloom of the parlor, as she had known for days he would come out of those musty shadows which were like mists of the past.
CHAPTER XXIX
Had Sa.s.soon himself imagined the climax, he could have found nothing more terribly efficacious than this recrudescence from the past of Joshua Nebbins. She was at the hat-rack, eagerly running through the mail, when her hand stopped, as if paralyzed, at the sound of a soft whistle from the parlor, two low notes and a higher, followed by a chuckling laugh. She turned, knowing instantly who it was.
"Flossie! Bless your sparkling eyes!" cried a voice.
She entered hastily, fearing the publicity of the hall. He was advancing, radiant and confident, arms open. She put out her hands hastily to ward him off. He saw, and halted.
"Oh! That's the game, is it? All right! Shake! Miss Baxter, how do you do?"
"h.e.l.lo, Josh!" she said coldly.
Now that the meeting had come, like an animal driven to bay, she was possessed of a desperate courage. This interview should be the last!
There would be no mincing of words. She must be free!
They stood a moment looking at each other. He had scarcely changed. She even seemed to remember the coat he wore, a golden brown whip-cord, which she had once so admired! Yes, he was the same as she remembered him: a red tie, a death's-head pin, the thin carmine edge of a silk handkerchief protruding from the breast pocket, a buckskin vest with gla.s.s b.u.t.tons. Probably the same shoes, too, were there, concealed in the shadows, patent leather with chamois tops.
He was not in the least abashed by the formality of her reception. He had never been abashed in his life, and he was looking at her now with an impudent confidence in the upstarting nose, the wide grinning mouth, the Yankee sharpness of jaw and cheekbones, and the alert eyes, which would admit of no refusals.
"Prettier than ever!" he exclaimed, after a long admiring whistle.
"That's a new trick with the hair, and, Floss, you certainly are the swell dresser! Well, Mrs. Nebbins, how are you?"
He plunged his hands into his pockets, slanted his head and gazed at her for all the world like a saucy sparrow. She knew that half measures would be vain, and she went directly to the issue.
"Josh, I have a good many things to say to you, a good many to make you understand," she said abruptly. "Wait here! I'll be down directly, and then we'll go out somewhere, where we can talk!"
"Are you married?" he said, chuckling.
"No! Why?" she said, surprised.
"That's the only thing I was afraid of!" he said, shooting his cuff with a jerk of his crooked thumb. "All right, kid! Run along! I can wait!
Patience is my middle name!"
She went to her room, running up the steps, her anger increasing, no longer fearing him, but a prey to all the cruel impulses of scorn and contempt. This past was too ridiculous! It must end, at once and forever! There was a note from Lindaberry, which she placed hurriedly in the trunk, where were already his other unread letters. She searched for the money Winona had sent, and suddenly remembered that it had been in her pocket all the time. One thing she was coldly determined on--to pay him back the old debt that had set like a leaden weight on her conscience! That, at least, should no longer stand as a reproach! But, to accomplish this, it was necessary to accept what had at first filled her with horror. This caused her to recoil a moment; but she remembered what sums she had just refused, and she convinced herself that she had the right to use this little amount for such a worthy object. Besides, she would consider it only as a loan.
Then she went to the telephone and called up Judge Ma.s.singale, giving him a rendezvous at ten o'clock, for she was determined to take no more than an hour to end all relations with the past she had so longed to see buried and forgot. That out of the way, she would be free to deal with Ma.s.singale to-night. With him she would have done with fencing and acting. She would meet him in simple trust, in perfect faith. Everything should be on the big scale--nothing petty, nothing unworthy. Now to have done with the other!
They went to the cafe of one of the great apartment hotels off Madison Square, where she felt certain she would meet no one she knew, ensconcing themselves in a discreet corner.
"Don't mind my feeding?" he asked, in perfect good humor. "Couldn't stop for grub or anything else, when I had a chance to see you, Floss!"
He ordered roast beef hash with a poached egg, spareribs with boiled cauliflower, and two charlotte russes. The very sounds made her shiver.
She glanced about uneasily; but the restaurant was deserted, except for a fat German in a far corner, languidly dipping his heavy mustache into a foaming stein of beer.
"Josh," she said suddenly, extending her hand where Lindaberry's ring shone, "I'm engaged!"
"Oh, that's all right!" he said, spreading his napkin, from the second b.u.t.ton of his coat, and bisecting a loaf of bread.
"You don't understand!"
"Don't I? Of course I do! You're engaged? Well, I expected that! Not the first time, is it? It's a convenient sort of state to be in. That doesn't worry me!"
"If I'd known where to write you, I should have let you know!"
"Good reason why I kept quiet!"
"And," she said suddenly, producing the hundred-dollar bill. "I should have paid you this back long ago!"
He frowned and drew back in his chair, his knife in his fist, rather comic than terrible.
"Here! I don't like that! Not in the rules of the game!"
"It was a debt. I certainly am not going to accept money."
"Hold up!" With the point of his knife, disdainfully, he steered the bill from in front of him to a place of seclusion. "This ain't important, anyhow. It's your manner, kid. Rather uppish. Now, let's get a few things straight before we start. Do you remember one evening back in Cincinnati, in a howling dirty depot, when you wanted to give up everything and marry me? Do you?"
She looked at him, and she blushed. Great heavens! Was it possible?
"And what did I do? I was honest! I told you I was going to get a start first, to be sure I was the kind of a feller who could give you what you want. Didn't I?"
"You should have married me then!" she said quickly.
"Perhaps! But I didn't. Why? On your account! Just let's keep these things in mind. If I come back now, I'm to get as fair a chance as the next fellow! Now, Floss, don't come any airs over me! It won't go!"
The hash arrived, and he attacked it, all smiles. How was she to make him understand the difference between them now--the immense worldly distance that now separated them? She remembered Sa.s.soon's a.n.a.lysis, and adopted it as an inspiration.
"My dear Josh," she said in a more conciliatory tone, "even if I were not engaged,--and engaged to a man I adore blindly,--there wouldn't be the slightest possibility for anything between us."