The Road to Damascus, a Trilogy Part 37

STRANGER. He might be cruel to them....

MOTHER. Then their sufferings will burden your conscience, if you have one.

STRANGER. Supposing he were to beat them?

MOTHER. Do you know what I'd do in your place?

STRANGER. Yes, I know what you'd do; but I don't know what I'll do.

MOTHER (to the Sisters of Mercy). Pray for this man!

STRANGER. No, no. Not that! It'll do no good, and I don't believe in prayer.

MOTHER. But you believe in your gold?

STRANGER. Not even in that. It's over. All over!

(The MIDWIFE comes out of the bedroom.)

MIDWIFE. A child's born. Praise the Lord!

MOTHER. Let the Lord be praised!

SISTERS. Let the Lord be praised!

MIDWIFE (to the STRANGER). Your wife's given you daughter.

MOTHER (to the STRANGER). Don't you want to see your child?

STRANGER. No. I no longer want to tie myself anything on earth. I'm afraid I'd get to love her, and then you'd tear the heart from my body.

Let me get out of this atmosphere, which is too pure for me. Don' t let that innocent child come near me, for I'm a man already d.a.m.ned, already sentenced, and for me there's no joy, no peace, and no... forgiveness!

MOTHER. My son, now you're speaking words of wisdom! Truthfully and without malice: I welcome your decision. There's no place for you here, and amongst us women you'd be plagued to death. So go in peace.

STRANGER. There'll be no more peace, but I'll go. Farewell!

MOTHER. Exules filii Evae; on earth you shall be a fugitive and a vagabond.

STRANGER. Because I have slain my brother.

Curtain.

ACT IV

SCENE I

BANQUETING HALL

[The room in which the banquet took place in Act III. It is dirty, and furnished with unpainted wooden tables. Beggars, scavengers and loose women. Cripples are seated here and there drinking by the light of tallow dips.]

[The STRANGER and the SECOND WOMAN are sitting together drinking brandy, which stands on the table in front of them in a carafe. The STRANGER is drinking heavily.]

WOMAN. Don't drink so much!

STRANGER. You see. You've scruples, too!

WOMAN. No. But I don't like to see a man I respect lowering himself so.

STRANGER. But I came here specially to do so; to take a mud-bath that would harden my skin against the p.r.i.c.ks of life. To find immoral support about me. And I chose your company, because you're the most despicable, though you've still retained a spark of humanity. You were sorry for me, when no one else was. Not even myself! Why?

WOMAN. Really, I don't know.

STRANGER. But you must know that there are moments when you look almost beautiful.

WOMAN. Oh, listen to him!

STRANGER. Yes. And then you resemble a woman who was dear to me.

WOMAN. Thank you!

WAITRESS. Don't talk so loud, there's a sick man here.

STRANGER. Tell me, have you ever been in love?

WOMAN. We don't use that word, but I know what you mean. Yes. I had a lover once and we had a child.

STRANGER. That was foolish!

WOMAN. I thought so, too, but he said the days liberation were at hand, when all chains would be struck off, all barriers thrown down, and...

STRANGER (tortured). And then...?

WOMAN. Then he left me.

STRANGER. He was a scoundrel. (He drinks.)

WOMAN (looking at him.) You think so?

STRANGER. Yes. He must have been.

WOMAN. Now you're so intolerant.

STRANGER (drinking). Am I?

WOMAN. Don't drink so much; I want to see you far above me, otherwise you can't raise me up.