The Riches of Bunyan Part 15

If these be thy desires, and if they be unfeigned, fear not. Thou art one of those runaways which G.o.d has commanded our Lord to receive, and not to send thee back to the devil thy master again, but to give thee a place in his house, even the place which thou likest best.

"But," you say, "I am afraid I am not elect or chosen to salvation."

At present, lay the thoughts of thy election by, and ask thyself these questions: Do I see my lost condition? Do I see salvation is nowhere but in Christ? Would I share in this salvation by faith in him? And would I be thoroughly saved from the filth as well as from the guilt? Do I love Christ, his Father, his saints, his words and ways? This is the way to prove we are elect.

Wherefore, sinner, when Satan or thine own heart seeks to puzzle thee with election, say thou, "I cannot attend to talk of this point now; but stay till I know that I am called of G.o.d to the fellowship of his Son, and then I will show you that I am elect, and that my name is written in the book of life."

If poor distressed souls would observe this order, they might save themselves the trouble of an unprofitable labor under these unreasonable and soul-sinking doubts.

Let us therefore, upon the sight of our wretchedness, fly and venturously leap into the arms of Christ, which are now as open to receive us into his bosom as they were when nailed to the cross.

Let me tell thee, soul, for thy comfort, who art coming in to Christ panting and sighing as if thy heart would break, let me tell thee, soul, thou wouldst never have come to Christ if he had not first, by the virtue of his blood and intercession, sent into thy heart an earnest desire after Christ; let me tell thee also, that it is his business to make intercession for thee, not, only that thou mayest come in, but that thou mayest be preserved when thou art come in.

They that are coming to Jesus Christ are ofttimes heartily afraid that Jesus Christ will not receive them.

This word, "in nowise," cutteth the throat of all objections; and it was dropped by the Lord Jesus for that very end, and to help the faith that is mixed with unbelief.

But I am a great sinner, sayest thou. I will in nowise cast out, says Christ. But I am an old sinner, sayest thou. I will in nowise cast out, says Christ. But I am a hard-hearted sinner, sayest thou.

I will in nowise cast out, says Christ. But I have served Satan all my days, sayest thou. I will in nowise cast out, says Christ. But I have sinned against light, sayest thou. I will in nowise cast out, says Christ. But I have sinned against mercy, sayest thou. I will in nowise cast out, says Christ. But I have no good thing to bring with me, sayest thou. I WILL IN NOWISE CAST OUT, says Christ.

FEARS IN COMING TO CHRIST.

1. This fear that Christ will not receive thee is FOR CANT OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST. Thou knowest but little of the grace and kindness that is in the heart of Christ; thou knowest but little of the virtue and merit of his blood; thou knowest but little of the willingness that is in his heart to save thee. Slowness of heart to believe flows from thy foolishness in the things of Christ; this is evident to all that are acquainted with themselves, and are seeking after Jesus Christ. The more ignorance, the more unbelief; the more knowledge of Christ, the more faith. "They that know thy name, will put their trust in thee."

2. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may be also A CONSEQUENCE OF THY EARNEST AND STRONG DESIRES AFTER THY SALVATION BY HIM. For this I observe, that strong desires to have are attended with strong fears of missing. What man most sets his heart upon, and what his desires are most after, he ofttimes most fears he shall not obtain. So, the ruler of the synagogue had a great desire that his daughter should live, and that desire was attended with fear that she would not. Therefore Christ saith unto him, "Be not afraid."

Now thou fearest the sins of thy youth, the sins of thine old age, the sins of thy calling, the sins of thy Christian duties, the sins of thine heart, or something; thou thinkest something or other will alienate the heart and affections of Jesus Christ from thee.

But be content. A little more knowledge of him will make thee take better heart; thy earnest desires shall not be attended with such burning fears; thou shalt hereafter say, "This is my infirmity."

3. Thy fear that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from a sense of THY OWN UNWORTHINESS. Thou seest what a poor, sorry, wretched, worthless creature thou art; and seeing this, thou fearest Christ will not receive thee. "Alas," sayst thou, "I am the vilest of all men, a townsinner, a ringleading sinner. I am not only a sinner my self, but I have made others twofold worse the children of h.e.l.l also. Besides, now I am under some awakenings and stirrings of mind after salvation, even now I find my heart rebellious, carnal, hard, treacherous, desperate, p.r.o.ne to unbelief, to despair; it forgetteth the word, it wandereth, it runneth to the ends of the earth. There is not, I am persuaded, one in all the world that hath such a desperate wicked heart as mine is. My soul is careless to do good; but none more earnest to do that which is evil.

"Can such a one as I am live in glory? Can a holy, a just, and a righteous G.o.d think, with honor to his name, of saving such a vile creature as I am? Saved I would be; and who is there that would not, were he in my condition? Indeed I wonder at the madness and folly of others, when I see them leap and skip so carelessly about the mouth of h.e.l.l. Bold sinner, how darest thou tempt G.o.d by laughing at the breach of his holy law? But, alas, they are not so bad one way, but I am worse another; I wish myself were any body but myself. And yet, here again I know not what to wish. When I see such as I believe are coming to Jesus Christ, Oh I bless them. But I am confounded in myself, to see how unlike I am to a very good many in the world.

They can hear, read, pray, remember, repent, he humble, and do every thing better than so vile a wretch as I."

Thus the sense of unworthiness creates and heightens fears in the hearts of them that are coming to Jesus Christ. But indeed it should not, for who needs the physician but the sick? Or whom did Christ come into the world to save, but the chief of sinners? Wherefore, the more thou seest thy sins, the faster fly thou to Jesus Christ.

As it is with the man that carrieth his broken arm in a sling to the bonesetter, still, as he thinks of his broken arm, and as he feels the pain and anguish, he hastens his pace to the man. And if Satan meets thee, and asketh, "Whither goest thou?" tell him thou art maimed, and art going to the Lord Jesus. If he objects thine own unworthiness, tell him, that even as the sick seeketh the physician; as he that hath broken bones seeks him that can set them; so thou art going to Jesus Christ for healing for thy sin-sick soul.

But it ofttimes happeneth to him that flies for his life, he despairs of escaping, and therefore delivers himself up into the hand of the pursuer. But up, up, sinner; be of good cheer; Christ came to save the unworthy one. Be not faithless, but believing. Come away, man. The Lord Jesus calls thee, saying, ".And him that cometh to me, I will in nowise cast out."

4. Thy fear that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from a sense of THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF BEING SAVED. Besides, the Holy Ghost hath a way to greaten heavenly things to the understanding of the coming sinner; yea, and at the same time to greaten, too, the sin and unworthiness of that sinner. Now, the soul staggering by wonders, saying, "What! to be made like angels, like Christ; to live in eternal bliss, joy, and felicity! This is for angels, and for them that can walk like angels."

Thus doth the greatness of the things desired quite dash and overthrow the mind of the desire. "O, it is too big, it is too big, it is too great a mercy."

But, coming sinner, let me reason with thee. Thou sayest it is too big, too great. Well, will things that are less satisfy thy soul?

Will a less thing than heaven, than glory and eternal life, answer thy desires? "No, nothing less. Yet I fear they are too big, and too good for me even to obtain." Well, as big and as good as they are, G.o.d giveth them to such as thou. They are not too big for G.o.d to give; no, not too big to give freely. Be content; let G.o.d give like himself; he is that eternal G.o.d, and giveth like himself. When kings give, they do not use to give as poor men do. Now, G.o.d is a great King; let him give like a king; nay, let him give like himself, and do thou receive like thyself. He has all, and thou hast nothing.

5. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from THINE OWN FOLLY IN INVETING, yea, in thy chalking out to G.o.d a way to bring thee home to Jesus Christ. Some souls that are coming to Jesus Christ are great tormentors of themselves upon this account. They conclude that if their coming to Jesus Christ is right, they must needs be brought home thus and thus.

Now, I say, if G.o.d brings thee to Christ, and not by the way that thou hast appointed, then thou art at a loss; and for thy being at a loss, thou mayest thank thyself. G.o.d hath more ways than thou knowest of to bring a sinner to Jesus Christ; but he will not give thee before-hand an account by which of them he will bring thee to Christ.

Sometimes he hath his ways in the whirlwind, but sometimes the Lord is not there.

If G.o.d will deal more gently with thee than with others of his children, grudge not at it; refuse not the waters that go softly, lest he bring up to thee the waters of the rivers strong and many, even those two smoking firebrands, the devil and guilt of sin. He saith to Peter, "Follow me;" and what thunder did Zaccheus hear or see? "Zaccheus, come down," said Christ; and he came down, says Luke, and received him joyfully.

But had Peter or Zaccheus made the objection that thou hast made-looking for a heavy load of guilt, or fearful temptations of Satan-and directed the Spirit of the Lord as thou hast done, they might have looked long enough before they had found themselves coming to Jesus Christ.

Poor creature! Thou criest, "If I were tempted, I could come faster and with more confidence to Jesus Christ." Thou sayest thou knowest not what. What says Job? "Withdraw thy hand far from me, and let not thy dread make me afraid: then call thou, and I will answer; or let me speak, and answer thou me." Job 13: 21, 22. It is not the over-heavy load of sin, but the discovery of mercy-not the roaring of the devil, but the drawing of the Father, that makes a man come to Jesus Christ. I myself know all these things.

True, sometimes they that come to Jesus Christ, come the way that thou desirest-the loading, tempted way; but the Lord also leads some by the waters of comfort. If I was to choose when to go a long journey, to wit, whether I would go it in the dead of winter or in the pleasant spring-though if it was a very profitable journey, as that of coming to Christ is, I would choose to go it through fire and water before I would lose the benefit-but I say, if I might choose the time, I would choose to go in the pleasant spring, because the way would be more delightsome, the days longer and warmer, the nights shorter, and not so cold.

Trouble not thyself, coming sinner: if thou seest thy lost condition by original and actual sin; if thou seest thy need of the spotless righteousness of Jesus Christ; if thou art willing to be found in him, and to take up thy cross and follow him, then pray for a fair wind and good weather, and come away. Stick no longer in a muse and doubt about things, but come away to Jesus Christ.

6. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may arise from THOSE DECAYS THAT THOU FINDEST IN THY-SOUL, even while thou art coming to him. Some, even as they are coming to Jesus Christ, do find themselves grow worse and worse. To explain myself: there is such a one coming to Jesus Christ, who, when he first began to look out after him, was sensible, affectionate, and broken in spirit, but now is grown dark, senseless, hard-hearted, and inclining to neglect spiritual duties. Besides, he now finds in himself inclinations to unbelief, atheism, blasphemy, and the like; now, he finds he cannot tremble at G.o.d's word, his judgments, nor the apprehension of h.e.l.l-fire; neither can he, as he thinketh, be sorry for these things.

This man is in the wilderness among wild beasts. Here he sees a bear, there a lion, yonder a leopard, a wolf, a dragon. Devils of all sorts, doubts of all sorts, fears of all sorts haunt and molest his soul. This man feeleth the infirmity of his flesh; he findeth a p.r.o.neness in himself to be desperate. Now he chides with G.o.d, flings and tumbles like a wild bull in a net, and still the guilt of all returns upon himself to the crushing of him to pieces. Yet he feeleth his heart so hard that he can find, as he thinks, no kindness under any of his miscarriages. Now, he is a lump of confusion in his own eyes, whose spirit and actions are without order. "Now, I see I am lost," says the sinner; "this is not coming to Jesus Christ; such a desperately hard and wretched heart as mine is, cannot be a gracious one," saith the sinner. And bid such a one be better, he says, "I cannot; no, I cannot."

QUESTION. But what will you say to a soul in this condition?

ANSWER. I will say, that temptations have attended the best of G.o.d's people; I will say that temptations come to do us good; and I will say also, that there is a difference betwixt growing worse and worse, and thy seeing more clearly how bad thou art.

There is a man of an ill-favored countenance who hath too high a conceit of his heauty, and wanting the benefit of a gla.s.s, he still stands in his own conceit. At last a limner is sent unto him, who draweth his ill-favored face to the life. Now, looking thereon, he hegins to be convinced that he is not half so handsome as he thought he was. Coming sinner, thy temptations are these painters; they have drawn out thy ill-favored heart to the life, and have set it before thine eyes, and now thou seest how ill-favored thou art.

Some that are coming to Christ cannot lie persuaded, until the temptation comes, that they are so vile as the scripture saith they are. True, they see so much of their wretchedness as to drive them to Christ. But there is an over and above of wickedness which they see not. Peter little thought that he had had in his heart cursing and swearing and lying, and an inclination to deny his Master, before the temptation came; but when that indeed came upon him, then he found it there to his sorrow.

It may be that thy graces must be tried in the fire, that that rust which cleaveth to them may be taken away, and themselves proved, both before angels and devils, to be far better than gold that perisheth. It may be also, that thy graces are to receive special praises and honor and glory, at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ to judgment, for all the exploits that thou hast acted by them against h.e.l.l and its infernal crew, in the day of thy temptation.

But to conclude this, put the worst to the worst, and then things will be bad enough: suppose that thou art to this day without the grace of G.o.d; yet thou art but a miserable creature, a sinner that has need of a blessed Saviour; and the text presents thee with one as good and kind as heart can wish, who also for thy encouragement saith, "And him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out."

MERCY'S EXPERIENCE.

So the Interpreter addressed him to Mercy, and said unto her, "And what moved thee to come hither, sweetheart?"

Then Mercy blushed and trembled, and for a while continued silent.

Then said he, "Be not afraid; only believe, and speak thy mind."

Then she began, and said, "Truly, sir, my want of experience is that which makes me covet to be in silence, and that also that filleth me with fears of coming short at last. I cannot tell of visions and dreams as my friend Christiana can, nor know I what it is to mourn for my refusing of the counsel of those that were good relations."

INTERPRETER. "What was it then, dear heart, that hath prevailed with thee to do as thou hast done?"

MERCY. "Why, when our friend here was packing up to be gone from our town, [the city of Destruction,] I and another went accidentally to see her. So we knocked at the door and went in. When we were within, and seeing what she was doing, we asked her what she meant. She said she was sent for to go to her husband; and then she up and told us how she had seen him in a dream, dwelling in a curious place, among immortals, wearing a crown, playing upon a harp, eating and drinking at his Prince's table, and singing praises to him for the bringing him thither. Now methought, while she was telling these things unto us, my heart burned withm ran. And I said in my heart, 'If this be true, I will leave my father and my mother, and the land of my nativity, and will, if I may, go along with Christiana.'

"So I asked her further of the truth of these things, and if she would let me go with her; for I saw how that there was no dwelling, but with the danger of ruin, any longer in our town. But yet I came away with a heavy heart; not for that I was unwilling to come away, hut for thai so many of my relations were left behind. And I am come with all my heart, and will, if I may, go with Christiana to her husband and his King."

INTERPRETER. "Thy setting out is good, for thou hast given credit to the truth; thou art a Ruth, who did, for the love she hare to Naomi and to the Lord her G.o.d, leave father and mother, and the land of her nativity, to come out and go with a people that she knew not before. 'The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord G.o.d of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.'"

FEARS AND ENCOURAGEMENTS OF THE AWAKENED.