The Real Diary of a Real Boy Part 6

Aug. 11. brite and fair. mister Watson, Beanys father got throwed off of his horse today and renched his rist. the horse coodent have throwed him but the gert broke. Mister Watson can ride splendid.

Aug. 12. brite and fair. No more church this month. bully.

Aug. 13. brite and fair. i went down to Ed Toles and me and Ed rode on the hack with Joe Parmer.

Aug. 14. Ed Tole and Frank Hanes are mad. Frank hollered over to Ed, Ed Tole fell in a hole and coodent get out to save his sole, and Ed hollered back Frank Hanes aint got no branes. and then they was mad.

Aug. 15. Wiliam Perry Molton has got some ripe apples in his back yard.

me and Pewt helped him ketch some hens today and he said we cood have some apples if they was any on the ground. they was only 2 wirmy ones but before we left 5 or 6 fell off i gess it was because Pewt pushed me agenst the tree. they was pretty good apples too.

Aug. 16. Rany. i went fishing with Potter Gorham. caught 3 roach and 5 hornpowt. we et them for supper. father said i can clean fish most as well as he can. he says he will come home some day erly and go a fishing.

Aug. 17. John Gardner has hung up a Grant and Colfax flag. they will be some fun this fall.

Aug. 18. brite and fair. Today i went fishing with Fatty Melcher. we caught some ells and some hornpowt. ells and hornpowt can live a long time out of water and so when i got home i put 5 that were alive in the rane water barril.

Aug. 19. brite and fair. it is fun to sit round all day Sunday and not have to go to church.

Aug. 20. brite and fair. i had to spend the whole morning in going to the river for water for washing. it was wash day and when mother went to the rane water barril there was 5 dead hornpowt floting on the top. she made me tip the barrel over and get water from the river. they was some fun for Beany helped me and he stood in the hand cart and filled the tubs and all of a sudden i let go and the old cart flew up and Beany and the tub and the pail and everything went rite in. Beany isent going to speak to me ever again.

Aug. 21, 186- Gosh, we are having fun now. what do you think. they is going to be a big ma.s.s meeting this fall. Ben Butler and Jake Ely and lots of old pelters are going to be here, and they is going to be 4 or 5 bands and lots of fun. well before that comes they is going to be lots of political meetings and the first one is to be next week, and father is going to make a speach. Gim Luverin and Bil Morrill and General Marsten and Tom Levitt, and he is a ripper to holler. and they want father to make a speach. father says he must work for the party and perhaps he can get his salery rased. so he has been a riting every nite and mumbling it over to hisself and last nite he said he had got it.

tonite he is a going to speak it to us.

Aug. 22. last nite father studed his speach over and let us stay up to hear it. he stood up and looked auful stirn and put one hand in the buzum of his shert. i coodent help laffin, but he told me to shet up or i cood go to bed and so i shet up. i tell you it was fine. It begun Mister Moddirator had i supposed, or for 1 moment dremp that i a humble offis holder under this glorious government, wood have been called upon to speak, i shood have remained at home with my wife and my children.

i said, if you dont want to make a speach why dont you stay at home that nite, and he said 1 more word from you sir and you go to bed. so i dident yip again.

then he went on like this, were it not that a crool axident in my erly youth, in my far away boyhood days prevented me from voluntearing and desecrating my life to my countrys welfare, in the strugle jest ended i wood have poared out evry drop of my blud to have maintaned her owner and the owner of her flag. mother began to laff and said George how can you tell such feerful stories, you know you were scart most to deth becaus you was afraid you wood be drafted.

father said they was a lot of old fellows traveling round the country and talking that way who coodent have been drug into the war with a ox chane. then he stood on the other leg a while and said, it is peculiarly aproprate that Exeter, the berth place of Lewis Cas, the educater of Webster, the home of Amos Tuck, of General Marston shood be fourmost in the party strife, and as for me i wirk only for my partys good, my countrys good, without feer or hope of reward. they was a lot more to it, and some of it you cood hear about a mile he hollered so.

Aug. 23. We are all going the nite of the rally. mother says she wont go for she wood be ashamed to hear father tell such dredful stories. Aunt Sarah dont want to go because she is afraid father will brake down. but she has got to go with me and Keene and Cele and Georgie.

Aug. 24. father practised his speach tonite and we all hollered and claped at the fine parts. he has got a new pair of boots. they hurt like time and he only wears them nites when he is practising his speach.

Aug. 25. father licked me tonite becaus i spoke some of his speach to Beany. he was auful mad and said i was the bigest fool he ever see. the fellers have got up a Grant Club. Pricilla cant belong because he is a demicrat.

Aug. 26. father called me and Beany out behind the barn tonite and gave us 10 cents apeace if we woodent say anything about his speach. after supper father practised again but he dident holler so loud becaus he was afraid some body wood hear him and mother dident want him to wake up the baby, and it was sunday too.

Aug. 27. it has been brite and fair all the week and hot as time. i have to go to the river for soft water because it hasent raned eny since i had to tip over the rane water barril. i have got a little tirtle as big as a cent. father went down to General Marstons office tonite to arrange about the rally. he came home and practised about an hour. i gess he wood have practised all nite if the baby hadent waked up an hollered.

Aug. 28. we are all getting ready for the rally. Keene and Cele and Georgie have got some new plad dresses. father has got a pair of gray britches and a black coat. mother said the rally was a good thing becaus it was the first time she had seen father dressed up since he was married.

Aug. 29. they was a big thunder shower last nite. we all got up in the nite and went into mothers room. mother sat on the fether bed and all them that was scart cood set there. i wasent scart. father said it would be jest the cussid luck to have it rane the nite of the rally.

Aug. 30. we had the last practise tonite, father put on his best close and new boots and the girls had on their plad dresses and i had on a new paper coller. we all set down and father came in and stood up. i tell you he looked fine. well he begun, mister modderater had i suposed or for 1 moment dremp, and then he forgot the rest. i tell you he was mad.

i wanted to laff but dident da.s.s to. well after a while he remembered and went through it all rite, and then he went over it 2 times more.

gosh what if he shood forget it tomorrow nite. he is going to wright some of it on his cufs and he practised tonite making jestures so as to bring his cufs up so that he cood read it.

Aug. 31. the rally is tonite. father woke us all up last nite hollering in his sleep. he dremp about the speach. this morning he went to Boston without eating his brekfast. i gess he is begining to be scart. i am a going to make his boots shine today. gosh what if he shood brake down. i gess i am getting a little scart too. brite and fair.

Sept. 1. Last nite father came home and the first thing he did was to send me down to miss Pratts for his shert. it was all pollished and shone like gla.s.s. then he asked if i had blacked his boots and then he et supper. he dident eat much though. he said Mr. Tuck came down from Boston with him. Mr. Tuck was a going to make a speach first and then he was going to introduce Gim Loverin as chairman and then Gim Loverin was a going to call on father. father said he bet 5 dollars he wood call him Gim instead of mister modderator. father was pretty cross at supper. i gess he was getting scart. the baby began to cry and father asked mother why she dident choak the squawling brat and mother sorter laffed and put the baby into fathers lap and said i gess you had better choak him.

father laffed and began to toss the baby up and down. he likes the baby and while he was playing with it he was all rite. but after supper he was cross and said he hed an auful headake. then he went practising his speach again so as not to call the modderator Gim. well we got ready and went down erly to get some good seats so as to hear father and see him come in with them that was to set on the platform. we wanted to go down with father but he said he coodent bother with us. but before we went he came down stairs with his new close on and he looked fine but his face looked auful white. he said he had a headake but as soon as he got started to speak it wood all go off. so we went down. Cele had her hair curled and Keene had a new red silk ribbon on her hair becaus her hair wont curl and Aunt Sarah had on a new dolman with beeds on it and some long coral earrings and they all looked fine. Aunt Sarah took Georgie by the hand becaus she was the littlest and me and Keene and Cele followed on.

When we got there the band was playing in front of the town hall and aunt Sarah said i cood stay out and hear it and then said i cood sit with Gim Wingit and w.i.l.l.y Swet if i wood behave. i said i wood and we lissened and after the band went in we went too. most all the seats were taken and we got some bully seats way up in front. i looked for father but coodent see him becaus the speakers hadent come in. well jest as soon as we got in the policeman was up in front and he said they has been to much whisling and stamping and the next one that whisles or stamps will get put out. well they was old Swane and Brown and Kize and Dirgin and every body kept quiet. after a few minits the band began to play hale to the chief and the speakers came marching up the middle ile.

i looked for father but he wasnt there. evrybody began to clap and stamp and Gim and w.i.l.l.y asked me where my old man was. i stood up to see if he was there and jest then i saw the policeman a rushing at me. he grabed me by the collar and shook me round till i dident know which end my head was on and he draged me down the ile and threw me out. as we were going down the ile i saw Aunt Sarah running down the other ile as fast as she cood go with her bonnet on the back of her head and Keene and Cele and Georgie following along all bawling. she got out in the entry jest as he was going to put me out of the front door and she grabed me away from him and said you misable cowardly retch to treat a boy that way. he said i whisled and she said he dident and you knew it only you dident da.s.s take ennyone else.

Then she told us to come home and we went home as fast as we cood all bawling. when we got home mother was sitting up alone and aunt Sarah started to tell her and Keene and Cele and Georgie all bawled and you never heard such a noise, and father was in bed with a headake and hollered out what in time is the matter. and she told him and i heard him jump out of bed and in a minit he came out b.u.t.toning up his suspenders. Mother said where in the world are you going George, and he said things is come to a pretty pa.s.s if a boy cant go and hear his father make a speach without being banged round by a policeman. i am going down to knock the heads off every policeman there. and he reeched for his vest. mother said George, dont you go near the hall, and father said he cood lick anny 2 men on the police force easy and he would show them how to slam people round and he reeched for his coat, and Keene and Cele and Georgia began to bawl again to think he wood get hurt and aunt Sarah and mother said you had better not go George, and father said he wood give them more fun in 5 minits than they had seen in a political rally in 5 years and he reeched for his boots and mother said what will they think of you after you have sent word that you are too sick to make a speach, to see you come rushing into the hall and go punching the policemen and father had got on 1 boot and when she said that he began to look kinder sick and said, thunder that is so. and then his headake got wirse and he gave me a twenty five cent scrip and Keene and Cele and Georgie ten cents each and he went to bed and so did we.

i wonder if his head aked really so he coodent make a speach or if he was scart. i bet he was scart.

school commences monday. father hasent asked once about my diry, so i aint going to wright enny more.

THIRTY YEARS (OR MORE) AFTER

On looking back over the pages of the "Diary" it appears to me that some sort of an amende honorable is due to those citizens now living, and the relatives and friends of those now dead, whose names have appeared in the "Diary" and who have, so to speak, been handled without gloves. That I have been neither mobbed, nor horsewhipped, nor sued, nor prosecuted, but that I have enjoyed many a good laugh with--and have received many pleasant words from--the victims, and their friends, is good evidence that they, and their more fortunate brothers who have not been therein mentioned, have taken the "Diary" in the very spirit in which it was published, that of affectionate and amusing retrospect. And it is indeed with affection that I recall those men, at that time in their prime.

That I could not then understand the reason why they did not fully enter into and appreciate the spirit that prompted me and my boon companions to transgress so many rules, laws, and statutes is not surprising. Boys seldom can understand it. But, although I now fully appreciate it, I often wonder at the spirit that prompted so many of those men in after years to show me so many kindnesses, so much encouragement, and such great forbearance.

So many inquiries have been made of me about that cornet, the soul-filling ambition of my early years, that I feel that the uncertainty in regard to that delightful instrument ought to be cleared up. I never did save up enough money to buy a cornet. I haven't to this day. But many years afterwards, when my ambition had been turned into other and equally profitless channels, upon the death of a dear friend his beautiful cornet was sent me. I have it now, as the neighbors and the members of my family can testify fully and with deep feeling, if called upon.

H. A. S.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

A good many years ago, during my college days, it was my custom and that of my room-mate, Brown of Exeter, to make our room the gathering-place for Exeter boys, both "stewdcats" and homesick Exeter youths then filling positions in Boston. It happened that frequently undergraduates from other towns and cities came in at these Sat.u.r.day evening gatherings and it was a matter of wonder to them that we had so much to talk about in relation to our native town; and it was their frequent remark that "either Exeter is a remarkable place, or you are a remarkably loyal set of fellows."

That Exeter is a remarkable place is an axiom, and no better evidence of the fact can be found (were evidence necessary to sustain an axiom) than in the loyalty that every citizen displays, and the sincere love that prompts every one who has ever come under the spell of our dear old town to revisit her at every opportunity.

Where else could a diary of this nature, dealing with actual persons and actual events, be published and be received with such absolute goodnature and even enthusiasm by the persons now living who are mentioned therein?

It is therefore with affection as well as amus.e.m.e.nt that I append the following brief biographical sketches of persons mentioned in the "Diary," preserving as nearly as possible the order of their appearance in the book. As many readers of the "Diary" have expressed a desire to know more of the subsequent histories and achievements of those therein mentioned, it is hoped this information will satisfy a curiosity and interest which, to a loyal son of Exeter, appear quite natural:--

1. Father. GEORGE S. SHUTE.

A native of Exeter. For twenty-six years a clerk in the Boston Naval Office. Still living in Exeter, an old man with a young tongue; in fact, the quickest man at repartee in Exeter.

2. Mother.

My mother died in the winter of 1896. No words can do justice to her qualities. "A sweeter woman ne'er drew breath."

3. "Gim" Melcher.