The Prophet of Berkeley Square Part 63

"And what man doesn't swear whenever he gets the chance?" cried Madame.

"Why did I ever marry? _Heu miserum me_."

"My angel, be calm. I a.s.sure you--"

"Very well then, declare yourself, Jupiter, this minute, or I'll declare yourself for you!"

"But, my love, think of Sir Tiglath! I dare not declare myself. He will be here at any moment, and he has sworn to kill me, if I'm not an American syndicate!"

"Rubbish!"

"But, my--"

"Rubbish! That's only what Mr. Vivian says."

"Well, but--"

"Besides, you can put on your _toga virilibus_ and knock him down. It's no use talking to me, Jupiter."

"I know it isn't, my darling, I know. But--"

"If you don't declare yourself I shall declare yourself for you this very moment. I will not endure to be left in the corner while all these n.o.bodies are being truckled to. Bernard Wilkins, indeed! A prophet we wouldn't so much as recognise to be a prophet, and that there Mrs.

Eliza--people from the Wick going down to supper in front of us, and a man from the b.u.t.ts put before you! It's right down disgusting, and I won't have it."

It was exactly at this point in the matrimonial conference that Lady Enid and Sir Tiglath b.u.t.t, shaking themselves free of Mrs. Eliza and Verano, bore down upon Mr. and Madame Sagittarius, who were so busily engaged in disputation that they did not perceive that anyone was near until Lady Enid touched Mr. Sagittarius upon the arm.

That gentleman started violently and, on perceiving Sir Tiglath b.u.t.t, who was positively sputtering with wrath at the palmistic attentions paid to him by Verano, shrank against his wife, who pushed him vigorously from her, and, getting upon her feet, announced in a loud voice,--

"Very well, Jupiter, since you won't declare yourself I shall go at once to the woman Bridgeman and declare yourself for you!"

And with this remark she scowled at Lady Enid and walked majestically away, tossing her head vehemently at Mrs. Eliza and Verano as she swept into the adjoining drawing-room.

"Dear me," said Lady Enid, with great curiosity. "Dear me, Mr.

Sagittarius, is your wife going to make a declaration? This is most interesting!"

And, moved by her besetting idiosyncrasy, she added to the astronomer, "Excuse me," Sir Tiglath, "I'll be back in one moment!" and glided swiftly away in the wake of Madame, leaving Mr. Sagittarius and his deadliest foe _tete-a-tete_.

"Is this a madhouse, sir?" cried Sir Tiglath, on being thus abandoned.

"The old astronomer demands to know at once if one is, or is not, in a vast madhouse?"

"I don't know, sir, indeed," replied Mr. Sagittarius. "I should not like to express an opinion on the point. If you will excu--"

"Sir, the old astronomer will not excuse you," roared Sir Tiglath, forcibly preventing Mr. Sagittarius, who was pale as ashes, from escaping into the farther room. "He will not be run away from by everybody in this manner."

"I beg pardon, sir, I had no intention of running away," said Mr.

Sagittarius, making one last despairing effort to a.s.sume his _toga virilibus_.

"Then why did you do it, sir? Tell the old astronomer that!" cried Sir Tiglath, seizing him by the arm. "And tell him, moreover, what you and the old female Bridgeman have been about together?"

"Nothing, sir; I swear that Mrs. Bridgeman and myself have never--"

"Never made investigations into the possibility of there being oxygen in many of the holy stars? Do you affirm that, sir?"

"I do!" cried Mr. Sagittarius. "I am an outside broker."

"Do you affirm that you are no astronomer, sir? Do you declare that you are not a man of science?"

"I do! I do!"

"Not an astronomer of remarkable attainments, but very modest and retiring withal? Oh-h-h!"

"Modest and retiring, sir?" cried Mr. Sagittarius, suddenly illumined by a ray of hope. "That's just it! I am a modest and retiring outside broker, sir."

And he violently endeavoured to prove the truth of the words by escaping forthwith into obscurity.

"There never was a modest and retiring outside broker!" bellowed Sir Tiglath. "There never was, and there never will be. The old--"

"What's that?" interrupted Mr. Sagittarius. "Whatever's that?"

For at this moment an extraordinary hum of voices made itself audible above the fifty guitars, and a noise of many feet trampling eagerly upon Mrs. Bridgeman's parquet grew louder and louder in the brilliant rooms.

Attracted by the uproar, Sir Tiglath paused for a moment, still keeping his hand upon the lapel of Mr. Ferdinand's coat, however. The noise increased. It was evident that a mult.i.tude of people was rapidly approaching. Words uttered by the moving guests, exclamations, and e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.ns of excitement now detached themselves from the general murmur.

"The Prophet from the Mouse!"

"The great Malkiel here!"

"The founder of the almanac!"

"The greatest Prophet of the age!"

"Malkiel the Second from the Mouse!"

"Where is Malkiel?"

"We must find Malkiel!"

"We must see Malkiel!"

"Is it really Malkiel?"

"Oh, is it _the_ Malkiel? Where--where is Malkiel?"

Such cries as these broke upon the ears of the astronomer and Mr.

Sagittarius.

Sir Tiglath grew purple.

"Malkiel who has insulted the holy stars here!" he roared, letting go of Mr. Sagittarius. "Where--where is he?"

"In there, sir, I verily believe!" cried Mr. Sagittarius, pointing in the direction of the crowd with a hand that shook like all the leaves in Vallombrosa.