The Politician Out-Witted Part 11

WORTHNOUGHT. Who comes here! He sha'n't see her, if I don't, 'foregad--Curse me, but he shall go away with a flea in his ear.

_Enter YOUNG LOVEYET, followed by HUMPHRY._

HUMPHRY. Mr. Lovit--Mr. Lovit.--[_Takes him aside._] As I was a going along, d'ye see, I see you pop in here, and so I follow'd you, to tell you, how old Mr. Lovit said he was intend for to go for to see the old fellow's daughter, to tell her something about the letter. Don't Mrs. Harriet live here?

LOVEYET. I'll make haste, and supersede the design of his errand, if possible;--it would be a pity he should come before I had appriz'd Harriet I was not in the West-Indies. [_Aside._]--I am obliged to you for your information. [_To HUMPHRY._

HUMPHRY. Thank 'e, as the saying is. [_Going,--WORTHNOUGHT whispers with him._]--What's that to you?--How clumsy mounsieur has dress'd his calabash!--Powder'd over the face and eyes.

[_Exit._

WORTHNOUGHT. I wish I knew what he wanted with him;--perhaps it is something about me. [_Aside._

LOVEYET. What b.u.t.terfly is this we have here!--I suppose it is the fop, Frankton mentioned. [_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. Sir, I have the honour to be, with the profoundest respect and esteem, your most obedient, most devoted, and most obliged humble slave, _foy d'Homme d'Honneur_--Tol lol, &c. [_Sings._

LOVEYET. A very pompous salutation, truly. [_Aside._]--Your polite address does me too much honour, sir;--I cannot conceive how you can be my obliged slave, as I do not recollect I ever saw you before.

WORTHNOUGHT. Why, sir, I'll tell you:--Your appearance, sir, bespeaks the gentleman of distinction, sir,--

LOVEYET. My _appearance_;--superficial c.o.xcomb! [_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. 'Tis true, my words were words of course; but I meant every word, sir, 'pon hanor.--"Cupid, Gad of saft persuasion, &c."

[_Sings affectedly, and takes snuff._

LOVEYET. Humph,--To whom, sir, am I indebted, for so much civility?

WORTHNOUGHT. d.i.c.k Worthnought, esquire, at your service, sir.

LOVEYET. The very fool. [_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. And give me leave to add, sir, that I feel the highest felicity, that you have given me so good an opportunity of asking you, in my turn, for the favour of your name, sir.

LOVEYET. My name is Loveyet, sir.--With what solemnity the c.o.xcomb talks!

[_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. A native of this city, I presume, Mr. Loveyet.

LOVEYET. I am, sir; but I have been absent for some years, and, as I was a youth when I left the city, I cannot be supposed to have retained much of the Yorker.

WORTHNOUGHT. Pardon me, sir;--to a person of penetration, the Yorker is still conspicuous under the disguise of the foreigner; and I am proud to have the hanor of being your countryman, sir.

LOVEYET. I fancy the honour is by no means reciprocal. [_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. You are acquainted with Miss Harriet Trueman, I presume, Mr.

Loveyet.

LOVEYET. I was formerly acquainted with the lady.

WORTHNOUGHT. You must know, sir, that your humble servant has the hanor and felicity of being that lady's very humble admirer.

LOVEYET. I dare say she is admired by all who have the pleasure of knowing her.

WORTHNOUGHT. Give me leave, sir,--I mean her lover.

LOVEYET. Conceited ape! [_Aside._

WORTHNOUGHT. _You_ have no pretensions, sir, I presume.

LOVEYET. Pretensions?

WORTHNOUGHT. Aye, sir; I thought you might have a small _penchant_, as the French call it;--you apprehend me; but she don't intend to see company to-day. I am monstrously chagrin'd, sir, 'foregad, that I have it not in my power to introduce you to the divine mistress of my heart; but, as matters are circ.u.mstanc'd, I think it is not worth our while to stay.

LOVEYET. I mean to see Miss Trueman before I shall think so.

WORTHNOUGHT. Oh, fie, sir;--you wou'd not force a lady to give you her company against her inclination:--perhaps, indeed, she may appear to receive you with some warmth, and you may flatter yourself you have fairly made a canquest of her, and think d.i.c.k Worthnought esquire, is out-rival'd; but if so, you are most demnably bit, 'foregad, for she's as slippery as ice, tho' not quite so cold;--she is the very standard of true modern coquetry, the quintessence of the _beau-monde_, and the completest example of New-York levity, that New-York has the hanor to call its beautiful inhabitant: ha, ha,--she'll jilt you;--however, the dear creature, with all her amiable foibles, has been so profuse of her attention to me, that I should be ungrateful not to acknowledge the various favours she has hanor'd me with.

LOVEYET. Consummate impudence! [_Aside._]--Miss Trueman's character is well known, sir.

WORTHNOUGHT. Miss Trueman's character! Demme, sir, do you mean to say anything against her character?

LOVEYET. No;--and I will take care you shall not, with impunity.

WORTHNOUGHT. You are the most unmannerly fellow I ever convers'd with, 'pan hanor.

LOVEYET. And you the most contemptible puppy; or that fellow would be unmannerly enough to chastise you for your insolence.

WORTHNOUGHT. That's a demnable rub, demme;--curse him, I'm afraid he isn't afraid of me, after all. [_Aside._]--You wou'd find me as brave as yourself then; demme, but you wou'd.

LOVEYET. I'll try you. [_Offers to cane him, which makes him cry out.--Then enter HARRIET, hastily._]

HARRIET. Oh, dear!--what's the matter?

[_Seeing CHARLES, she shrieks._

LOVEYET. My dearest,--my adorable Harriet!

HARRIET. Is it possible? I did not dream that Mr. Loveyet was the person who wanted to see me.

LOVEYET. And am I again blest with a sight of the dear object of all my wishes and affections!--I thank you, heaven; you have been bountiful, indeed! The rolling billows, under your propitious guidance, have at length wafted me to my native land, to love and my dear Harriet.

WORTHNOUGHT. What the devil does he mean! [_Aside._

HARRIET. Your unexpected appearance, and the unaccountable circ.u.mstance which attends it, have discomposed me in such a manner, that I cannot express, as I wish, how happy I am in your safe arrival.

WORTHNOUGHT. Hah,--happy in his arrival! If so, she will not be very happy in his rival, I'm afraid. [_Aside._

LOVEYET. I will explain the occasion of my charmer's fright immediately;--at present I can only tell you that your wou'd-be lover, here--